


Breaking Point

by sizzlinteapot



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Incestuous feelings, M/M, Night Terrors, Pining, Slow Build, Undyne's cooking lessons, angsty fluff basically, just an excuse for me to write fluffy angsty sin tbh, more tags to be added later, papyrus is a precious cinnamon roll, sans is just sin, sans' puns, self hatred, sexual introduction, sexual self shaming, slow romance and sexual exploration, soul dynamics, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-05-13 19:37:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 90,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5714692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sizzlinteapot/pseuds/sizzlinteapot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything seemed fine. Sans was fine. He told himself that every day. And he was almost convinced...almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried.

It wasn’t like he _wanted_ to feel this way.

He just couldn’t help it.

Every day he tried just a little bit more to live, to smile like he means it, to pretend that everything was just…alright. And he thought he had been successful; everybody looked at him as the laid back, lazy skeleton that plagued his brother’s life with bad puns and drank ketchup like it was water.

But there was something ugly deep inside his soul; something that he couldn’t describe but felt oddly similar to a dark gaping void that was slowly but surely consuming him. He thought he could bear with it –he has put up with a lot of oddities before anyway- but he clearly underestimated it. This feeling just continued getting stronger, eating away at his will and he got lazier, to the point where he didn’t see the point in leaving his old and dipped naked mattress anymore.

If it wasn’t for Papyrus’s energetic knocking every morning, telling him that the “breakfast spaghetti” was ready, he probably wouldn’t get up. He probably would just lie there pathetically, his eyes two dark holes of emptiness, grinning his permanent grin to the ceiling. He would let this void consume him. It’s not like anybody would really grieve him.

But he knew that was not true and it was often at night that he shook those lies out of his mind and just thought about Papyrus and what they would be doing the next day.

Sans quickly reached the conclusion that not everything was so bad when his brother was there to brighten it up.

He found peace in that thought and held on to it for as long as he could. The void started getting smaller, weaker; its pull no longer suffocating and deafening in its silence. The light from Papyrus was enough to guide him through the darkness.

As so, it was difficult for him to realize how dependent he had become of his brother, in this way. How he started craving for his presence at random times of the day, becoming anxious when he was out of his sight, out of his vigilance.

Fortunately, Papyrus didn’t seem to notice this slight shift of behavior. In fact, his younger brother seemed to be satisfied with Sans’ newfound enthusiasm –well, as enthusiastic as Sans could be- and interest in whatever The Great Papyrus did.

It started becoming even more difficult when Sans started to notice every single little detail in Papyrus. The way he smiled, so pure and genuine, the way he carried himself: tall and proud but with a hint of playfulness that would always be there, how he hummed and put his hand on his hip, doing a little dance while he cooked his spaghetti…how his hands were warm, even without his gloves, how his gaze was always gentle… even how his nagging tone would always show the fondness in it. Sans started to notice everything.

And he was completely infatuated.

He could never tell Papyrus, however. It would be wrong, it would be selfish. He just couldn’t. The days passed by and the void started to regain its strength as Sans repressed every wanton thought, every impulse to just caress his brother’s face and pour out all his feelings. His hands would start to stray at night, leaving fiery trails on his otherwise chilled body, lifting up his shirt and burying down his shorts, hips undulating and jerking as he rode out his guilty pleasure. His imagination ran wild as he desperately tried to mentally replace his cold, lonely touch with the one he so hungered for.

 _“That’s it…you’re so amazing, Sans…”_ _He_ would say.

 He would always clamp his mouth shut harshly when a breathy moan of his brother’s name threatened to come out. He was so filthy, so disgusting…he didn’t deserve Papyrus, not even as a brother.

His self hatred reached its peak.

He could never be mad at Papyrus. The only one at fault was him. And as so, he could only wave Papyrus goodbye from their porch as he went to Undyne’s “Super Cool Pajama Party”, telling him to be careful and send the brash fish his regards. He told himself that Papyrus’ happiness would always come first than his own twisted need for his being. He would just have to get over it: soon Papyrus will want to be with his friends more –he always wanted to be popular after all. Maybe even find someone special…

That night, Sans locked his bedroom door and laid down on the mattress. He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddery breath before he allowed the first tear to shed.

 

* * *

 

The birds were singing and his eye sockets felt sticky as he slowly opened them. Papyrus was knocking on his door, as usual.

“SANS?? ARE YOU ALRIGHT??? WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED????”

Sans’ eyes widened as he hurriedly got up, rubbing his eyes groggily.

**_come on Sans, play it cool…_ **

“sorry bro, i was just… doing something.”

**_nice save…idiot._ **

There was a brief silence that only made Sans anxious. Papyrus cleared his throat.

“OH…HUM…ALRIGHT! I JUST CAME TO TELL YOU THAT BREAKFAST IS READY!

Sans sighed and his grin lifted up slightly. He went to the door and unlocked it, opening it to look up at Papyrus. He frowned slightly though when the expected cheerful expression was replaced with a subdued, slightly worried one as his brother’s gaze focused on him. Papyrus was nervously wringing his gloved hands and as so, Sans was startled awake when one of them made his way to gently hold his cheek, thumb carefully stroking the edge of his eye socket. Sans’ tiny pupils widened, becoming hazy. He had been craving for so long…

He didn’t know how he managed to keep his voice even.

“huh…what’s up, bro? somethin’ rattling your bones?”

Sans’ eyes widened and he took a step back as his brother took one forward. His smile looked different. Sad. Papyrus, whose gaze had shifted towards Sans’ more than usual messy appearance, looked him in the eyes once again and Sans was finding it hard to contain a shiver.

“I should be the one asking you that! …What’s wrong, Sans? Was it…Did you have another nightmare??”

Sans froze, the feeling of guilt starting to well up. His brother shouldn’t be worried, his brother shouldn’t notice. He had let his guard down and hearing the dramatic change in Papyrus’ voice as he took on this lower volume, sounding almost small…he couldn’t bear it.

He forced out a chuckle. It only made Papyrus’ eyes droop down a bit, the crinkles making his expression almost melancholic.

“Please, don’t pretend anymore…”

The chuckle was abruptly interrupted by an involuntary sob and Sans’ body trembled. What was he _doing_?! Papyrus’ expression started to become even more alarmed as violent sobs took over his older brother’s body, his hoodie jacket slipping down his shoulder a bit. Still, he tried to maintain the upward tilt to his grin, he still tried to contain the fat tears that only hours ago he had allowed himself to shed. He still tried.

“paps…what are you talkin’ about…i’m…i’m fine- _oomf!”_

His pathetic attempt at reassuring his brother was cut short by the sudden warmth of Papyrus’ body smothering him in an embrace. It was enough.

Sans hesitatingly returned the hug and gasped as Papyrus only tightened his hold. He felt himself being lifted off the floor, allowing for him to bury his face on the crook of his brother’s neck.

**_stars…this is heaven…i could stay like this forever…_ **

He didn’t notice he was being carried until he was gently put down on the sofa in their living room. His brother caressed his skull and Sans couldn’t help himself anymore. Not after _that._ He leaned into the touch.

His self hatred was still very present as Papyrus’ worried expression didn’t change.

“You shouldn’t be on an empty stomach. I’ll get the spaghetti.”

Sans felt a slight panic as Papyrus left his sight but the sounds of shuffling in the kitchen calmed his pounding soul. He groaned and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face on his hands. He could feel his soul glowing in restlessness and it was obvious that Papyrus had felt it too.

Once again, his skull was caressed again, soothingly, and he looked up to find Papyrus holding out to him a fork and a bowl of his spaghetti, still steaming. He was smiling in earnest hope.

Sans accepted the bowl and fork and took a first bite. It tasted bland and slightly burnt but it had Papyrus’ charm and it was easy for Sans to eat it. Anything to take that expression out of his brother’s face. And it did for a bit, Papyrus looked slightly more relieved now as he crouched down to his eye level. He didn’t feel too hungry though and as much as he tried, he could only stomach a couple of forkfuls before he was looking down and holding the unfinished food back to his brother. For once, Papyrus took it wordlessly, setting it down on the coffee table nearby. Sans had managed to calm down a bit and wasn’t trembling anymore. He had his hands in his pockets and he was looking at anywhere but his brother.

“Sans. Please look at me.”

Sans cringed but obliged. He was feeling so exposed, sitting in front of his brother and an obvious blue glow visible through his shirt. After all this time of pretending, he couldn’t be more transparent. Now that he was more calm, now that he felt he had regained a little control over himself, he willed himself to smile at his younger brother.

“paps…i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to worry you or anything.”

Papyrus looked a little more relieved now that he was speaking and had calmed down. He slowly placed his hand on Sans’ knee and rubbed it soothingly, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Are you sure? If there is anything I can do to make you feel better, please say, dear brother.”

It was obvious that Papyrus probably thought it was just another nightmare that had caused that outburst. Sans felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. And oh, there was so much that he could do, so many things that Sans wanted to do and he hated how this made him lie to himself and to Papyrus. He started wondering just how much he could take of this façade. It was becoming clear now that Papyrus would start to suspect too, if he wasn’t already.

As such, Sans couldn’t help but smile a little more, his eyes half lidded.

“i’m alright, paps…you…y-you have no idea how much good you do to me already.”

It was his own fault for always wanting more anyway.

It seemed the right thing to say. Papyrus’ face lightened up and Sans found himself in his brother’s arms once again. He snuggled into the embrace, making sure that he would never be able to forget the wonderful warmth of it, the way Papyrus’ long arms squeezed him closer and the comforting weight of his chin on the top of his skull. Papyrus’ scent enveloped him: a sweet mixture of spices and Snowdin; it smelled like home.

Before he closed his eyes, he thought he had seen a faint orange glow beneath his brother’s battle body, enveloping his own soothingly as he was doing to Sans now.

It could only be wishful thinking, he knew. Still, for that brief moment, the void was gone.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowzers! Thank you all so much for the positive feedback! (●´ω｀●) Please enjoy the second chapter <3
> 
> (I was listening to this [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ncIVUXZla8) and I got inspired. )

It’s not like he _meant_ to feel this way, he swears!

He just couldn’t stop it.

Despite how confident and sure he always acted, he had always looked up at his brother. He always looked up at him for everything.

He hadn’t always been strong and tall (and stunningly handsome, nyehehe!). Everything he was today, everything he aspired for, he owed it to Sans. His brother had always been there for him, much before any other monster that introduced themselves slowly into his life.

Sans became this force of nature to him. He was always sure that nothing could stop his older brother. That nothing could ever change him or weaken him.

That proved to be false as the years went by. It was unnoticeable by others but his brother would never be able to fool The Great Papyrus. He started to notice the little things. The little shifts in his being.

Sans’ carefree posture became careless. He knew his brother had always slouched but this…this was different. His gaze was always calm, but Papyrus knew his brother was a very observant person. He seemed to be almost aware of everything really and it was one of his brother’s qualities that Papyrus secretly admired the most.

Lately though, he just seemed so…tired. His pupils took on such a shrunken on size that sometimes Papyrus couldn’t help but describe his brother’s gaze as desperately empty. As if he was struggling with something, holding onto something…

Even his footsteps, that had always been almost silent were now dreadfully louder as he dragged his feet painfully across the floor, as if dragging his whole self. You would think, with that permanent grin on his face, it would be easy for Sans to smile. Papyrus knew better. It’s been a long time since he has seen that beautiful, happy smile on his older brother’s face.

It was inconceivable for the younger skeleton. He knew his brother was strong despite the lazy jokester he liked to portray himself as. Seeing him like this, he almost seemed…defeated.

Papyrus sighed, sitting on his race car bed. He rubbed his chin in thought and frowned sadly. He wished he knew what was going on. He hoped that he has been doing a good job hiding it, but being aware of this change in his brother has been taking a toll on him as well. Sometimes, as he simply interacted with Sans, there was this painful beat deep inside of him, reverberating almost unbearably. It was as if something inside of him was crying out and it was often that he gritted his teeth against it. He hoped that by pretending everything was okay, everything was as it has always been, Sans would come around and return too to what he used to be. Or at least try…

It seemed to work for a while. Papyrus had been ecstatic when his brother started to become more active, started to come out of his bedroom more and became more interested in daily activities. Papyrus was ever happier that Sans wanted to participate in those daily activities with him. He had missed doing simple things with his brother, even if it was just making silly snowmen in an attempt at their image (Sans would always just give up midway and settle for his usual lump of snow with his name in ketchup, the lazybones!). It was at those moments that Papyrus could see a slimmer of happiness trying to blossom in his brother. And oh, was that a sight to behold.

He wished he could keep that image and hold it and guard it from anything that would ruin it. He wished Sans would let him do something for him, just for once.

He thought he had done it. He thought his brother had beaten whatever was making him like this, like he always seemed to do.

But he was wrong.

Papyrus’ hand on his chin tightened into a fist and tried to hide his grimace (from whom he didn’t know since he was alone, he just didn’t like to feel this way). Yes…he was alone. The house wasn’t empty, it wasn’t just him. His brother was just next door, in his bedroom, probably sleeping his daytime away.

He didn’t notice at first when Sans started to avoid him. He thought his brother was just being his usual self; he was always so laidback but obviously liked his privacy. Papyrus knew he wasn’t like him, who liked to share whatever he did and boast about him. And Papyrus had always respected and understood that. After all, he had still been on cloud nine, after all those blissful months they had spent together and just so…close. Papyrus felt like they had bonded more in those few months than in the couple past years. He just thought his brother was trying to return to normalcy.

He thought wrong once again.

Sans stopped going out as often. Papyrus could hardly believe that he wouldn’t even get out to go to Grillby’s. He would still go, but it started getting less and less often. Until he simply didn’t. His only reason to get out had become his jobs, to which he dragged himself to with little to no enthusiasm.

At this point, he started making excuses to not get out of his room at all. Or just spend some time with Papyrus really.

Honestly, it was breaking Papyrus’ heart.

He missed his older brother. He wanted to do cool stuff with him again. Or not, he just wanted to sit down on their couch with a bowl of spaghetti and watch MTTV with him, just like they used to every Tuesday and Friday.

At least, he was still managing to wake Sans up every morning and have breakfast with him before he left to his puzzles. At least he could still see that Sans was trying. Poorly, but he was. His older brother was trying for him but Papyrus knew that trying was also slowly destroying Sans.

Papyrus let out a confused groan, scratching his skull in frustration. He looked down himself and saw the faint orange glow pulsing from within his ribcage, hidden by his battle body. He didn’t know what this meant, but he had the faintest idea that it had started with the painful beats that would make his soul shudder. It scared him really. He wished he could ask Sans about it. But he also didn’t want to cause any distress to his already very distressed brother and he just had the feeling that this would do exactly that.

As so, he was stuck in this dead end loop: pretend for his brother so his brother could continue pretending.

He thought he could do it. He would do anything for his brother after all. But he started doubting his own intentions when he had come late this one night. The whole house was silent and it made Papyrus feel a cold, uncomfortable shudder down his spine. He shakily tried to maintain his good natured smile but that quickly fell into worry as he heard strange sounds coming from Sans’ room. It sounded as if he was in pain but also…not.

Either way, Papyrus bolted up the stairs, fearing something had happened to his dear brother. He got to open the door a sliver before he paused, his alarmed widened eyes squinting quickly in confusion.

His brother was laying in his mattress and although it seemed like he was struggling and the sounds coming from him surely sounded pained to a degree…it was obvious this was not one of his usual night terror induced fits.

Papyrus felt like he should have just shut the door silently and forget whatever he had seen in those five seconds but he didn’t. The beating inside of him started reverberating once again but this time it wasn’t painful. It was…he didn’t know what it was. He had no idea! He swears!

Sans was arching his spine, his head thrown back. His hands were all over his body, desperate in their search, caressing _everything_ in their reach. And the fondling beneath his shorts just made Papyrus even more confused.

His brother was…touching himself?

Why was he making those sounds? Why was he squirming so much? Was he harming himself? That didn’t make any sense! What was that bonehead _doing_??!

_“oh…s-stars! t-that f-feels so…so d-damn good…o-oh!”_ A gasp, the tightening of his grip on the wrinkled sheets, and an involuntary hitch of Papyrus’ breath.

It felt good?

Sans’ motions started getting quicker, hurried, so incredibly desperate, so…so incredibly lonely. The beats within Papyrus’ started getting painful once again. It made him want to reach out. But he didn’t.

His brother was almost sobbing, as he buried his face in the mattress, as if trying to hide himself. It made Papyrus a bit worried that his brother was aware of him being there after all.

_“a-ah! ooh… ff-fuck! y-yes, p-please, please! p-pap-“_

Papyrus shuddered. Sans had bitten his arm to muffle his already repressed cries, suppressing whatever he was going to call out. Deep down, Papyrus knew though. Sans’ eye sockets were devoid of pupils, just gazing at the white wall as he laid on his side, slowly willing his body to calm down his violent trembling.

At this point, the energy was almost cracking in the air. The beating inside Papyrus was reverberating inside his skull now and it was becoming too much. He couldn’t take seeing his brother like this anymore.

He had felt it, in the almost unnoticeable blue haze of his brother’s room. The unbearable loneliness of a self hatred that knew no bounds. He didn’t want to ever have to feel it again.

He had shut the door silently, just like he should have done right at the beginning and went to his own bedroom. He didn’t really get much sleep that night. The orange glow was more than evident now and he started feeling too heated…whatever it meant. But well…The Great Papyrus could handle it!

When he went to Undyne’s super cool pajama party, he thought this was his opportunity for him and his brother to unwind a bit. To try to figure out themselves. Or just distract themselves from each other really.

That proved to be a failure when he was innocently asking Undyne and Alphys what did it mean to touch yourself at night.

He had never seen Undyne look so red. Or Alphys so pale. He thought he had said something incredibly wrong and was ready to apologize deeply but a sudden snort beat him to it. Then flustered, awkward laughing followed.

Undyne was on the floor laughing. Alphys looked embarrassingly uncomfortable, nudging her girlfriend.

“U-uhm, Undyne…please…it was just an innocent q-question. I-It’s p-perfectly normal.”

She tried to give him a reassuring smile at her last sentence. It only made Papyrus all the more confused.

When Undyne regained her composure, she gave him a hearty slap on the back. Wowie, that one _really_ rattled his bones! He hid his cough with a bright smile.

“Oh, man! I never thought I would ever hear you ask something like that!!”

Papyrus’ smile trembled in confusion but he kept thinking positive. Even if his dear friends weren’t being very helpful at the moment.

“SO…IS IT A BAD THING??? SHOULD I BE WORRIED????”

There was an urgency in his voice that had sobered up the couple of anime enthusiasts. They looked at him with a confused expression. Undyne snorted once again and winked.

“Of course not! Why would you be worried? Sure it isn’t something to be bringing up in every conversation but there’s nothing wrong with it! It’s a form of love! Well…loving yourself, I mean.”

She then wiggled her eyebrows at Alphys, who just sputtered as she was sipping on a packet of juice.

“You can also love others in that way though.”

“U-Undyne!”

Papyrus tuned out their flirty and embarrassed quarreling. It didn’t make any sense! Sans was loving himself??

Papyrus’ smile wavered once again. It was clearly obvious that the last thing Sans felt was love for himself.

But what Undyne had said next got him thinking.

Maybe he could love Sans for himself.

 

* * *

 

And so, after coming back in the morning from the pajama party and being faced with what could only be seen as Sans’ breaking point…he knew he had to do something. Anything. When he held his fragile (fragile…he never thought he would ever describe his older brother as that) brother in his arms and felt the beats syncing to a faint pulse, a pulse that seemed to be struggling but getting stronger and stronger the more they just held each other, then…he knew this was the rightest thing he had ever felt. And he never wanted the beats and the pulse to ever part.

He just wished his brother could love himself as much as Papyrus loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies at any errors by the way xS


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Guacamole!!! You guys are great! Thank you all so much for the support, I simply have no words! (ノ・ω・)ノ Please enjoy the third chapter <3
> 
> (I got inspired by this [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TqfBEX6QtE) this time. )

Sans had never felt so mortified in his entire life. It was as if he was still stuck in a state of embarrassed shock, looking around his messy room in a daze. He tentatively brought his hand to his chest where the faint blue glow was still noticeable. It hadn’t gone away yet. It was sending a rhythm across his whole body –reaching the top of his skull to the tips of his fingers and toes- in almost calm lulling pulses. It felt so very weak but it was the kind of weakness that everything newborn manifested. As if…as if his soul was humming back to life.

He looked down himself, in all his messy glory, and furrowed his brow. The events of this still barely started day kept plaguing him. He was so foolish, so useless. He couldn’t even protect his brother from the messed up _thing_ that he had become. Why did he lock the door? Why did he give in to the pressure of his own demons, only to expose himself in such a pathetic way to his younger brother?

A dry chuckle left him.

 ** _i’m such a sucker for punishment._** (Even his puns were starting to feel pointless to him.)

He looked at his closed door, hearing the faint noises of Papyrus going on with his daily morning routine downstairs. He could feel his grin tilt up just imagining him grumbling about the unmentionable sock that just wouldn’t be picked up –and hey, he was curious to know if the thing would eventually grow a life of its own, it was there for a loooong time after all; maybe it would grow a pair of legs and walk away, to Papyrus’ satisfaction.

He felt the soft chill of the blue glow within him against his chin. It was starting to feel almost…pleasant. But it was still so weak that Sans could only feel a slight sensation of suffocating, despite being a skeleton. He would never understand souls.

He sighed and slowly stood up. There was no point in just sitting on his bed, moping like a sore loser. He had his jobs to attend to after all. The Underground needed their hot dogs (and hot cats, he he).

He tried to adjust his hoodie jacket at least and make his shirt look less wrinkled. It was a commendable effort, if he did say so himself. His door opened with a creek and from the balcony he could see Papyrus “feeding” his pet rock. He laid his arms on the rail and rested his cheek on a hand, allowing himself to just observe his brother’s contagious cheery mood as he dusted the furniture. He was humming some catchy silly tune he probably heard from one of Alphys’ and Undyne’s anime. Probably that “Kissie Cutie Mew Mew” thing. When he seemed satisfied with the rather shiny state of cleanliness of the home, he put his hands on his hips and nodded in approval, then adjusting his red scarf. It flowed behind him for a bit, being caught in the breeze coming from the open window nearby.

Stars…his brother was so cool.

Being caught in such a dreamy state –oh, this was ridiculous- he jumped slightly when he heard Papyrus’ loud voice.

“OH HELLO THERE, BROTHER! GOOD TO SEE YOU’RE UP AND ABOUT, LAZYBONES!!”

Papyrus then made an almost reverent gesture to the pet rock covered in colorful sprinkles.

“I FED THE PET ROCK!!! …AGAIN.”

He couldn’t help it. Sans let out a snort and his grin’s tilt became more pronounced. He simply held his arms up in a shrugging motion, his pupils looking to the side unapologetically but the crinkles in the corners of his eyes betrayed his amusement. He didn’t even care that his chest was still glowing faintly. The pulses seemed to intensify a bit, giving him a refreshing feeling of activity. It was only for a moment.

But that moment was enough for him to see Papyrus’ natural smile widen in a special kind of satisfaction. He would never get tired of how open his brother’s expressions were. How a skeleton could be so expressive, he had no idea. He was simply a wonder.

He gave another small sigh as he dragged himself down the stairs. He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the last bottle of ketchup in the back. Hmm…he would need to resupply soon. As he entered the living room again, he saw Papyrus getting ready to leave, putting on his boots. Sans simply stood there watching him, forlorn. The pulses were weakening now. The glow was gone.

The metallic tang of the ketchup filled his mouth as he sipped on the bottle. It was as comforting as it used to be. Which wasn’t much. But it was enough to get him addicted anyway.

As Papyrus straightened up, adjusting his red scarf once again, Sans’ hands started to tremble a bit. He had the impulse to just reach out and run his hands through it, bury his face in it and be engulfed in that forever comforting scent. He had long learned to control himself though. What happened this morning was simply a lapse on his part. He couldn’t afford to make Papyrus worry like that. His brother just shouldn’t be exposed to that. His brother needed him there for him, always, no matter what. Not the other way around; he didn’t deserve it.

“Sans.”

Sans blinked as that damned subdued tone appeared once again. He noticed the grip on his ketchup bottle had tightened to the point that he had drank the whole rest of it in one gulp. He looked up at Papyrus and saw him smiling nervously, fidgeting his gloved hands once again. He was ready to go, what was the hold up?

But he got the message. Papyrus’ gentle gaze kept shifting through him, as if making sure he was in one piece.

 _Will you be alright…?_  Was the unasked question.

Sans tried not to grit his teeth in self hatred, in shameful guilt.

As such, he simply looked to the side for a bit before looking at his brother again, his grin unwavering as he chewed on the tip of the ketchup bottle.

“…have fun, bro. i’ll see ya later.”

Papyrus gave a slight sigh through his nose. Sans looked down, expecting him to leave now. He never really liked to see him leave. So he didn’t.

*Clack!*

Sans’ pupils turned into impossibly tiny pinpricks. The grip on the ketchup bottle had tightened so much that the lid came off and dropped to floor.

…What?

He slowly dared to look up and the instant chill, that had pulsed violently on chest at that moment, spread through his cheeks and across the ridge of his nose. Papyrus had his eyes closed, teeth resting affectionately on the top of his older brother’s skull. His gloved hands came up to hold his cheeks, warming them and contrasting almost poetically (wow, that was deep…). Hot and cold. It made Sans’ eyes get lost in a confused daze. What…what was his brother doing?

As Papyrus drew back, he still held his cheeks, thumb caressing the rim of his eye socket once again. He looked…so happy.

Sans became aware that he was just standing there like an idiot, holding an uncapped, empty ketchup bottle in his hand and the other was buried in his pocket, holding onto it for dear life.

And then, his brother drew back completely, picking up the lid on the floor and screwing it back on the bottle. He put his hands on hips once again, to then turn and open the front door, waving cheerfully.

“WELL THEN, BROTHER, I’M OFF!!! SEE YOU LATER, NYEHEHE!”

Sans gave a halfhearted wave, now more than ever not wanting to see Papyrus leave. The wind was howling slightly, making Papyrus’ scarf wave much wilder now.

So. Cool.

“uh…yea…later.”

As he closed the door, he brought his hand to his chest, gripping his shirt tight. The blue glow was reflecting on the white of his hand, creating a mesmerizing pattern that was slowly forming.

**_ah, geez…you should “chill” for a bit, Sans…_ **

He he, that one wasn’t that bad.

He dumped the ketchup bottle in the trash can and practically threw himself on the couch, turning on the TV. Might as well make some time before he had to “shortcut” himself to his jobs.

…It was useless though. He slowly slumped down until he was practically burying his face underneath his hoodie jacket, trying to control the chill that was still very much coloring his cheeks blue. His hands furrowed deeper into his pockets and he sighed. Only one spot in his skull still felt incredibly warm. He quickly, guiltily, rubbed it, trying to recollect and guard the feeling all to himself where nobody could ever steal it, before he stuffed his hand back into his pocket again.

He didn’t know why Papyrus had done that but he didn’t know how to feel about it anyway. His brother was just…being affectionate. Yeah… and here he was twisting it into something more than it actually was. He really was pretty worthless.

He decided to just use his “shortcut” now. No use staying home, where that wonderful scent was everywhere. He needed the cold, scentless and harsh bite of Snowdin’s weather.

 

* * *

 

It was near nightfall when he came back. He let out a yawn and fished in his pocket full of ketchup packets –yes, he may have stopped by Grillby’s for a second- tearing into one and gulping down its contents. What he liked about ketchup is that it was always slightly warmer than his own chilled body. It was what most called comfort food for him. It gave him two seconds of pure bliss.

When he arrived home, he could already smell Papyrus making spaghetti from the kitchen. He shook the snow from his shoulders and stomped his feet slightly on the welcome mat.

“IS THAT YOU, SANS???”

Sans shut the door and shuffled himself closer to the kitchen.

“yea, bro.”

Papyrus peeked from the entryway, dressed in his apron, and smiled brightly, waving a wooden spoon covered in tomato sauce. Some spaghetti strings fell to the floor.

“WELCOME BACK, BROTHER!!”

The corners of Sans’ eyes crinkled.

“thanks, bro.” He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. MTTV was broadcasting some show that gave people gold if they answered correctly to questions. Huh…not bad.

Sans remembered then that today was Friday. Papyrus usually liked this kind of shows. He remembered how he would literally vibrate with the suspense of it. Well, Papyrus loved MTTV in general anyway. It wasn’t hard for him to be excited about it.

The hands on his pockets fidgeted nervously. While he had been out, he had had a lot of time to think. Well…he did have a reaaally long time to think anyway. It’s basically all that he has been doing lately. He came to the conclusion that he should keep trying. Even if was painful, even if it felt like he was just falling deeper and deeper into this void inside of him, it wasn’t just him that would suffer. He didn’t really care much how the others would feel. Sure he had nice pals, specially at Grillby’s. But if he was doing this…it was for his brother. Like always. As so, he willed his voice not to tremble as he cleared his throat.

“uh…so, bro, what we havin’ ?”

There was a brief silence before Papyrus came out of the kitchen, holding a steaming pot. He had a brow arched, looking at the back of his brother’s head quizzically before he “nyeh’d” and held the pot up almost victoriously.

“WHY, MY WONDERFUL SPECIAL SPAGHETTI, OF COURSE!!!”

Sans snorted, turning on the couch to look back at his brother from the top of it. His hands felt sticky inside his pockets.

“so, huh…today is friday, right?” Papyrus’ smile seemed to waver for a split second, as if it being Friday had made him remember something. There was something hopeful in his gaze though and it made Sans feel anxious.

“THAT IS TRUE INDEED!!”

Sans looked to the side, grin wavering nervously.

“mttv is on…you wanna…watch it while we have dinner?”

It was as if a switch had been turned on. Papyrus’ whole being seemed to brighten. Dare he say, The Great Papyrus almost seemed stunned for a second. He quickly regained composure, clearing his throat.

“YES, OF COURSE, BROTHER!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULDN’T MISS ON IT!!!”

He brought the steaming pot and put it on the table, taking a quick trip to the kitchen to get the bowls and forks. Sans waited, slumped a bit more comfortably on the couch now, the light from the TV reflected on his face. The pulse inside of him seemed calm but the void was almost wild, trying to catch him in its tendrils. He was starting to think this was not a good idea. He would probably do something stupid again. He would probably spoil everything.

But his brother looked so happy as he filled their bowls, giving Sans his before he dug in on his own. They sat relatively close and Sans was trying hard not to notice that too much. Papyrus radiated such warmth though…it was becoming hard.

Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea. He was starting to remember why he had pulled himself away right from the beginning. He finished his meal and dug into his pockets, tearing into another packet of ketchup. He could see Papyrus giving him a look from the corner of his eye. He had finished his own bowl too.

He put the bowls on the coffee table and they just sat there, watching the TV. It was filling Sans with a sense of nostalgia, when they would do entire “sleepovers” with spaghetti and all kinds of food, pillow forts and sleepless nights. Just them and no one else…

Sans sighed, his grin trying not to show his weariness. Of course, he had ruined all of that…

He felt a sudden warmth on the hand that wasn’t in his pocket, resting of the sofa between them. At first, he was too distracted in his own thoughts and as so, thought nothing of it. But then the warmth started to send little, almost unnoticeable beats up his arm. He blinked and shifted his gaze towards it, only to have his soul almost doing a somersault as he saw Papyrus’ hand holding his, their fingers loosely intertwined. He chanced a quick glance at his brother’s face, who seemed completely engrossed in the MTTV show. In the light of the TV, Sans noticed that his cheeks were dusted a light orange.

Sans tried hard not to tremble in confusion. Maybe his brother hadn’t even noticed what he was doing. Maybe it had just been an unconscious movement. He shivered, feeling the other’s fingers caressing his lightly, soothingly.

Yes. Just…completely involuntary. He couldn’t…couldn’t twist it. He didn’t deserve it.

Despite all of this, he still squeezed back, just a little bit. And it was all his imagination, he was sure, but Papyrus’ orange dusted cheeks seemed to deepen as he happily continued to watch the TV.

This was officially Sans’ longest night.

He really was a sucker for punishment.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so sure about this one, might tinker a bit with it. Or not, I'll figure it out c: Again, thank you all so much for your continued support!! Please enjoy the fourth chapter! <3
> 
> ( [ Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al2u7-cGM6s) I heard this time :3 "You got my soul on fire toniiight"~~) ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)

Wowie…this really was something else!

He didn’t think he would be able to get this far already. Before he had started his morning routine, he had looked for his trusty “Dating Book” under his race car bed, filled with marked pages and surprisingly observant annotations. He took a quick look through the first few pages, making sure to take in every detail and tip.

He felt a slight warmth on his cheeks as he looked at the images. He remembered finding this book laying forgotten on top of a trashcan. He had been curious, and as he shuffled through it he became even more as he saw pictures and read words that he had never encountered before. He had been hesitant at first but he had shown it to Undyne. She had been as clueless as him at first but then had narrowed her eyes, pointing at the pictures and saying that they resembled that “anime” thing that Alphys had shown her. His eyes had widened in wonder.

A human book.

He felt slightly ashamed at admitting it but this was the only thing he had kept secret from his brother. He had felt that something about this particular book should be kept and hidden. He didn’t really understand most of the things it was describing at the end of it but it was a human book after all.

The beginning though, it always managed to warm his body up weirdly. It filled him with this feeling of giddiness, of wanting to know what it was like. The book apparently gave advice on loving another person “properly”. As so, he thought he should consult it if he wanted to love Sans. He didn’t want anything to go wrong after all.

The book had said to start on the little things:

 Complimenting; –The Great Papyrus thought he had been doing a good job on that already!

Show interest in what the other person does; -well, he had furrowed his brows on that one; it wasn’t that he wasn’t interested but his brother just didn’t do much, really.

Share interests; -oh, he _HAD_ tried. They were just very different in certain aspects. But still! They got along just fine! (they certainly shared their undying love for his magnificent spaghetti, nyehehe!) Well…until recently that is…He would never lose hope though!!

Spend quality time together; -he had smiled fondly at that. There was nothing that he wanted more, really…

Show affection through physical contact, little touches and meaningful glances; -that had him feeling strangely nervous for some reason, just thinking about starting doing that with Sans made him feel warmer. The beats inside of him started growing stronger. It was a good sensation. He had never really had a problem in touching his older brother and show his ever present affection but this…felt different somehow. And well, Sans had never been the “physical” type. Especially lately, as he has been avoiding him…It made him anxious really. But no matter!! The Great Papyrus could do it, anytime!!!

He had also learned, from spending time with Undyne and Alphys, what kissing was. It appalled him when they said that it was a bit difficult, if not impossible, for him to do it, since he didn’t have lips. Which was a vital part for the kissing process. Didn’t mean he couldn’t try though, for he was The Great Papyrus and everything was possible!

His brother only deserved his best efforts after all.

And he really could hardly believe his first attempts hadn’t been sort of a failure. Not that he was expecting that he would fail!

…Alright, maybe a little. He just had never really done this before and the way the beats inside of him reverberated happily, fueling him, giving him the courage, the will to do it…it really felt like what he was doing was actually something extremely important. And he surely didn’t want to mess that up.

Because, really, even he could admit that he was flawed. He really just tried to turn his flaws into good things. And maybe that was what made him and Sans different.

But as he stole a glance at his brother beside him, looking so relaxed even though his hand, that he was holding, felt a bit tense, he really couldn’t point those flaws out. They had become a part of Sans and they made him into the awesome monster that he was today. He really wished he could show that to Sans, make him see it.

No. He will make him see it!

Time passed by, the MTTV program was near its end and it was getting quite late but neither brother had made a move to call it a night, much less detach their hands. By now, it had almost become something so natural that Papyrus wondered why they didn’t touch so often before. There was a perfect harmony in the entwinement of their fingers, sending pleasant little prickles of energy up his arm and through his body. Muffled by his warmth, the beats inside him were peacefully accompanied by that cold, still weak pulse. It made him feel blissfully complete. And he could definitely get used to it.

It wasn’t until he saw Mettaton waving goodbye to his fans, blowing kisses and spreading charm all around, that he felt Sans’ grip on his hand tighten. He looked at him and found him much nearer to Papyrus than he was before, his form slumped slightly on the other’s shoulder.

His eyes were closed, brows slightly furrowed.

Papyrus smiled gently, squeezing his hand back and another pulse went softly through him. Sans looked almost peaceful in the light of the TV. He wished this moment would last forever, he wished this wouldn’t be the last time they did this for a long time again.

He really had been pleasantly surprised when Sans had asked him if he wanted to watch TV with him. It seemed something so simple but really, he knew such things had long stopped being simple between them. Papyrus knew this could be the beginning of a long list of “forbiddens” that had unknowingly been established between them both. He was willing to uncover it all though. His brother would return to his lazy, cool, carefree full glory once again, he swore!

He held a soft chuckle as he remembered Sans’ face when he attempted the “kissing” this morning. It had felt really good, if he was honest. And he never thought he would see Sans with such an expression of pure astonishment, his cheeks tinted blue –he thought his brother had looked rather good at that moment, he recalled, deepening his own orange blush.

He stole another glance at his sleeping brother, leaning back a bit more into the couch and just sit there for a bit. MTTV had probably ended their scheduled programs for the day and only advertisement was on now. He absentmindedly kept caressing Sans’ fingers, feeling them twitch now and then.

He could really get used to this.

Alas, as much as he would like to prolong the moment, they both had work to do tomorrow and Papyrus needed to replenish his energy levels (he still thought sleeping was a waste of time but unfortunately it was a basic necessity).

He looked at Sans, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. He didn’t want to wake him up, he looked like he was having the best sleep he has had in months. His brow was no longer furrowed and Papyrus swore there was that slight upward tilt to his grin that just seemed to lighten up his whole expression into an almost childlike softness.

Papyrus knew better and wasn’t fooled!! This skeleton was a lazybones through and through!!!

He caressed one blue tinted cheek with the back of his gloved hand, feeling his brother’s natural chill even through it. He would always admire how good the contrast between his warmth and Sans’ cold felt.

He sighed through his nose and shook him gently awake. His brother’s grin twitched and his brow furrowed again.

Papyrus rolled his eyes. Lazybones!

He shook him again and this time Sans slowly opened his eyes, squinting them in sleepiness.

“uuuh…hey… bro. sup.”

Papyrus’ smile twitched in amusement.

“SUP, BROTHER!!” He gestured to the TV, leaning himself away a bit when he noticed his brother was becoming aware of how close they were and started trembling a bit. “THE SHOW IS OVER SO I BELIEVE IT’S TIME WE GO TO BED, YES?”

Sans had discretely moved his hand away from his, only their pinkies touching now. Sans was looking to the side, scratching his cheek. It was still glowing blue.

“yea, bro…” A yawn. “i could use some shuteye.”

Papyrus felt the dramatic shift in the beats inside of him as they detached completely from each other. The pulse was no longer there and he almost mourned its loss. He assured himself that it wouldn’t be long until he felt it again though.

They both stood up and Papyrus cringed as he heard Sans’ bones pop. Golly, his brother really needed to move around more!!

Sans simply kept looking to the side, pretending he didn’t hear it. He had tore at a packet of ketchup and was suckling on it, his eyes half lidded. Papyrus gathered the bowls and pot of spaghetti and headed to the kitchen to clean it up and put everything back in their places. When he came back, Sans was turning off the TV and was finishing his probably third packet of ketchup. They both went up the stairs, their footsteps a huge contrast: loud, energetic stomping and slow shuffling of pink fluffy slippers.

They stopped at Papyrus’ door. They would normally just say each other goodnight from their respective doorways; lately they wouldn’t even see each other when they went to bed since Sans would already be inside his room.

But this time, Papyrus recalled the advice given in his “Dating Book”. The book had given the “goodnights” a huge importance, saying that it was a way to seal the time they spent together (the “date”, nyehehe!) with a “bang”…whatever that meant!

Either way, he felt like if this day had started differently, it should only be fair it ended differently as well.

So, he reached for Sans arm and gripped, tugging him closer. He felt his brother jump in surprise, clearly not expecting that. Good.

“huh…do ya need somethin’, bro?”

Wowie, if he wasn’t The Great Papyrus he would say that he was starting to d-doubt what he was about to do!

…What was he doing…?

“I…I REALLY LIKED THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER!!”

Sans looked mildly confused yet he let out a chuckle. He looked to the side, rubbing the back of his neck. Papyrus huffed. He really wished his brother would look at him for a bit. The book had said that that was important too!!

“huh…me too, bro.”

Papyrus fumbled with his gloved hands, an unconscious habit that he didn’t really like but was inevitable when he felt nervous or anxious. And boy, he didn’t know why he was so nervous! This was Sans after all, why would he be nervous??

The beats were becoming so intense, Papyrus felt them crawl up his throat and numb his toes.

“WOULD…WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO IT AGAIN??” SOMETIME???”

Sans blinked and silence stretched between them for a few seconds before something clicked. His older brother gasped, blue tint returning in full force across his cheeks and he quickly shoved his hands into his pockets, the fumbling inside quite obvious. He seemed terribly confused.

“h…h-huh…sure? i mean…it’s fine by me.”

Papyrus almost let out a sigh in relief. Oh this was going wonderful! Just like the book had said! He smiled brightly at his brother and was overjoyed when Sans’ own grin attempted to return the sentiment. Awkwardly, but it was a good attempt!

Now only one thing left before the night was over!

“WELL THEN…!”

And he pulled Sans ever closer, leaning down. Sans in his confusion and quickly growing mortification stood on his tip toes in reflex, his hands tightening inside his pockets. His blue cold cheeks were held gently and he found himself looking into his brother’s adoring gaze.

*Clack!*

It was…there was no possible description. It was as if an explosion of energy had happened between them. Their chests glowed brightly for that one second and it was enough to make them close their eyes into the feeling, leaning into each other just a little more. Papyrus felt that refreshing chill once again and felt his own warmth mixing inside Sans too. It was…

Their touching mouths detached hesitantly, bringing their foreheads together as their eyes opened. Papyrus caressed Sans’ cheeks, feeling him trembling. His tiny pupils looked hazy as they darted across Papyrus’ face, as if searching desperately for something, as if trying to hold onto something.

Papyrus, for the first time, knew what that felt like.

But the book had said not to linger! He had to leave an air of expectancy, he had to…what was it? Leave something to the imagination?

He leaned further back, regretfully taking his hands off Sans’ cheeks. His brother fell back to the soles of his feet, looking up at him with such mortified confusion that Papyrus seriously started to wonder if maybe he had done the right thing.

But it had felt so right! In fact, it felt amazing! Unlike anything he had ever felt, actually! And that included the blissful taste of his spaghetti!!!

Papyrus was the one to look to the side this time, to his open bedroom door, and he was the one to scratch the back of his neck too.

“GOODNIGHT, SANS!!”

He saw his brother blink, some sounds coming out of him before they resembled words.

“…goodnight.”

Satisfied, and feeling so warm –golly, there was this giddiness again…!!- Papyrus went inside his bedroom, shutting the door softly.

As he heard the silence out of his door and then finally the shuffling footsteps of his brother, Papryus touched his own warm cheeks and smiled gently.

Wowie!

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no possible way for me to be able to express my gratitude for all the support! So, please, enjoy the fifth chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZI6klvnacE) for this chapter c: )

Sans thought he was prepared for anything, really. He had become so detached from life in general that nothing managed to surprise him or catch him off guard. He felt like he had lived a million lifetimes already and, given the circumstances, that was most likely true as he grimly remembered the dusty, covered machine in the basement.

But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared him for what just happened.

His hands couldn’t stop shaking as he finally loosened the death grip he had on the soft fabric of his pockets. His chest and cheeks were glowing such a vibrant blue that he was starting to light up the darkness of the night around him. He couldn’t help but admire the curvy, water like patterns it created in its reflections. For the life of him he couldn’t remember ever witnessing such a reaction of his soul.

It was almost beautiful, really.

And this feeling that it brought, this sudden burst of energy that had been shared in that one moment had been enough for the growing pulse inside of him create its own dance, filling him with a type of strength he couldn’t recall ever having. It was such a stranger to him that it didn’t really feel like it was his own, on the contrary, it reminded him of how Papyrus carried through…with such enthusiasm and love for life.

He couldn’t question it anymore, his soul definitely felt different. Stronger. He had been so used to the void inside him, where no blue glow could ever survive, where no pulse could be heard. Only darkness. Only silence.

It was overwhelming. It was hard to believe in.

He brought a hand out of his pocket and clenched his shirt in a fist, feeling it incredibly cold.

There was no way…absolutely no way, what had happened had been real. He was ready to wake up from whatever this was. If he had flesh, he would have pinched himself.

This was not supposed to happen. It had never happened before so it obviously just wasn’t meant to be.

Papyrus…Papyrus had no idea what he was doing.

He cringed at that thought. The glow started to dim until it was just a tiny, almost unnoticeable spark, flickering weakly, almost in protest. He finally brought himself to move, the sound of his slippers dragging across the floor the only thing to be heard, heading towards his bedroom. He shut the door with a silent click and blinked. As if a spell had been broken, he allowed himself to have a brief moment of panic, of helplessness.

**_w-what was that??! oh stars, what has just happened??!_ **

Sans brought a shaky hand to his mouth, feeling the smoothness of his grin. A tiny orange spark prickled his finger pleasantly. He gasped, removing his hand instantly.

**_oh my ketchup, i can still f-ffeel him!_ **

Where had his brother learned that? Better yet, why was his brother suddenly taking this…dare he say…almost _flirty_ attitude towards him??

**_no, no, this is papyrus we’re talkin’ about…he…he wouldn’t…_ **

It was starting to become so hard not to cling to such foolish hope when Papyrus had been the only thing he had had the will to cling to all these years.

He sat on his mattress and sighed. His toes curled, feeling the fluffiness of his slippers. It was something he sometimes did to comfort himself. He remembered having one remaining ketchup packet and promptly tore it, almost inhaling the red goopey substance. He threw the empty packet carelessly on the floor, near the pile of dirty socks –Papyrus would have had a fit, he he.

Good ol’ Papyrus…always there to nag him on his lazyness, always there to make the spaghetti –who else could do it like him, really-, always there to smile at his stupid jokes…always there for him. He truly didn’t deserve him.

He was repressing it, he knew it. He could feel the energy crackling in earnest, wanting to burst forth and manifest itself, wanting to show itself to him. It was so tempting.

Could he really keep going like this? He wasn’t an expert on souls but he knew it couldn’t be good to let them lie in darkness and silence for so long. In fact, he had never heard of a monster ever doing that. Guess he was one of a kind. Alphys would have had a field trip.

He huffed. He would have to do it anyway. He was so tired, he felt like he could sleep an entire day. He probably would have done that several times before if it wasn’t for his brother.

He slowly laid down on his side, facing the wall, like always. His pupils shrank until they vanished as he closed his eyes. For a second he saw the void and he started to panic. He hated falling asleep, despite always wanting to.

And then…there it was. An explosion of blue and orange greeted him, dancing and entwining in perfect harmony. Never, ever, had he seen something so beautiful. He felt his sleeping self being engulfed by it, starved for it for so long. When all he had ever felt was the emptiness of thick consuming darkness, feeling such loud vibrant energy caressing through his fingers and around his body…there were simply no words to describe it.

He felt alive.

He gladly sunk into it. The darkness was slowly gaining in on him but for once he didn’t care. He enjoyed this precious moment for as long as he could. Papyrus was with him this night. He wasn’t alone anymore.

 

* * *

 

The sharp howling of the wind startled him out of his blissful numbness. As he looked around the vast landscape of snow, a white desolace that he knew too well, fear was easy to overcome him. Still, his footsteps were the same as he turned around. He never turned around but this time, he felt like he should.

Surprisingly, he was confronted with his and Papyrus’ house. The wood it was built from was creaking ominously and everything seemed dark inside. Perhaps his brother wasn’t home.

Nevertheless, he felt himself starting to sweat. He usually knew how this would end but the little things: the misplacement of the trees, him going into his house instead of just walking forward into the snowy forest, the absence of any cold despite him being exposed to Snowdin’s weather….these little changes told him this time would be much different.

Still, he opened the front door and entered the house. As he shut the door and looked around, he couldn’t shake off this feeling of dread. This wasn’t home. It looked like it. But it certainly didn’t feel like it.

He suddenly heard a noise coming from the kitchen. Sans shoved his hands in his pockets and steeled himself, grin wavering and betraying his growing nervousness. He shuffled his way towards the doorway and peeked inside.

He gasped, seeing Papyrus with his back to him, steering a pot of spaghetti in darkness. Why didn’t he turn the lights on?

Something was definitely wrong. Papyrus felt…wrong. From this distance he usually could already feel his younger brother’s natural warmth, so strong it was. But this time…nothing.

The house felt really cold actually. It usually didn’t bother him but this cold…this cold was different, aggressive in a way.

He finally was able to say something after these few seconds of just standing there. His brother should have been able to notice he was there too but instead he had kept on stirring, as if Sans wasn’t there at all.

**_“hey, bro…watcha doin’?”_ **

Papyrus instantly stopped steering. Sans felt a strong, disgusting shiver down his spine. This was wrong. This felt really wrong. What was happening?

**_“SANS.”_ **

Papyrus’ voice was echoing throughout the house and Sans felt his whole body jump in reaction. He was trying to figure out what was going to happen but this was just so…different, so out of place, he couldn’t possibly imagine what would happen. He started to think that his brother being here wasn’t a good sign, like always…

Suddenly, Papyrus dropped his wooden spoon, the sound loud against the floor tiles. The usual tomato sauce wasn’t there. Sans tried to look away, to try to buy time and figure out what was happening but then his brother started turning around.

And he felt his soul almost drop down on the floor.

His brother was looking sickly, his bones ashen instead of pearly white. His battle body seemed dirty –it was so wrong, his brother always polished the thing until it shined. His red scarf had a huge tear, strings dangling.

He wasn’t smiling. He had no expression at all.

To Sans horror: this wasn’t his brother anymore. This was his beloved Papyrus’ soulless husk.

Sans started to shake uncontrollably, not believing what he was seeing.

**_“p-paps…?”_ **

‘Papyrus’ took two shaky steps forward, his legs bending in unsightly angles. His incredibly tall stature was looking, for the first time, out of place and almost intimidating. His arm raised, reaching out to Sans.

**_“SANS…I…STILL BELIEVE IN YOU…!”_ **

Sans eyes widened, pupils vanishing as he saw his brother’s body starting to disintegrate. He reached out, trying to hold onto him…

**_“YOU…CAN DO BETTER…!!”_ **

...but it was too late. As Sans tried to hold him, his brother’s whole body fell into…into dust. Only the torn red scarf remained.

Sans’ knees felt weak and he couldn’t hold himself up any longer. He fell and tried desperately to gather up the dust but it was useless. This…this was too much. Anything but this…

He couldn’t take this anymore. He weakly grabbed the scarf and buried his face in it, muffling his shrilling screams of grief.

**_“Sans!!”_ **

He raised his head, eyes wildly searching. It had to be his imagination, he knew it.

**_“Sans, please!! Wake up, brother!!!”_ **

He felt warmth on the top of his skull and looked up. The darkness of the roof was slowly lit up in a soft orange light. It started getting stronger and stronger, now brightly engulfing him. Taking him.

**_“WAKE UP!!!!”_ **

He gasped as he bolted awake, his pupil less eyes still catching remnants of the night terror as they twisted his bedroom into its abhorrent version. He felt warm arms embracing him, pulling him into an even warmer chest.

Slowly it all started going back to normal.

He allowed himself to close his eyes in exhaustion for a second, sinking into Papyrus. He shakily raised his arms and returned the hug, nuzzling his brother’s neck in relief.

**_…thank the stars…_ **

“Sans, are you alright???”

Papyrus gently gripped his chin, encouraging him to raise his face. His brother was searching him once again, making sure everything was fine.

**_papyrus…_ **

“…you’re my everything.”

He didn’t really realize he had concluded his thought out loud until he saw the surprised expression on his brother’s face, quickly lightening up into such happiness, Sans couldn’t even begin to hate himself for letting that one slip.

He was crumbling, falling apart. And his brother was gladly picking up the pieces, lovingly gluing them together.

Sans tightened his hold on Papyrus, his fingers caressing his back, finding comfort in the solidity of it. He was here, he was real and he was very much intact. Nothing else matters.

“p-please, bro…please don’t ever leave me…”

His words were muffled but he knew Papyrus had heard them loud and clear. He pulled impossibly closer, as if what Sans had just said had been so inconceivable to Papyrus that it was enough to disturb him.

“Never, Sans!! I’ll always be here. With you.”

Papyrus stayed with him for the rest of the night. Sans could finally start to let go of the darkness.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I did a sad again...but it was a good sad, I hope!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws fluffy teddybears at you all* (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Please enjoy the sixth chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DvRCykzHy4) for this chapter: Anyway, here's wonderwall *pulls acoustic from ass* )

After such a marvelous day, the last thing Papyrus expected to wake up to were Sans’ terrified screams. He had bolted awake right off, throwing the covers away and practically sprinted towards his brother’s bedroom. He opened the door in one swift move and had to bring a hand to his chest as he winced.

The air was heavy with magic, surrounded by a thick blue mist. It was forming slimy looking tendrils around the walls, often spiking violently and sending Papyrus’ soul into a state of instantaneous unease. And it was so, so cold…

He remembered that this was not the first time he was exposed to something like this but this time…this time there was no way he could walk away from it. He had to put an end to this now.

His alarmed gaze fell on his older brother’s form, twisting and turning on his mattress in obvious pain. He was shaking, hands tightly grasping at his shirt in desperation, eyes scrunched shut and skull wet with sweat. Screaming…oh stars, his dear brother was screaming!!

He rushed to drop to his knees beside Sans, himself not knowing what to do. His brother was having one of his night terrors, of that he was sure. It had never been like this though; he had never even heard his brother _scream_ before.

Come on, Papyrus!! Do something!!! Sans is suffering!

He steeled himself and tried shaking his brother awake. It didn’t seem to be working and Papyrus was about ready to start panicking as the grieving screams only seemed to intensify, Sans’ hands raising as if reaching for something. In an impulse that would always be engraved on his soul, Papyrus met the hand halfway, holding it strongly, squeezing it lovingly, encouragingly. He continued shaking his brother, calling him.

“SANS!! PLEASE, WAKE UP, BROTHER!!!”

To his relief, the screams simmered down into sobs. He pulled his brother closer, sitting down on the mattress and holding him to his chest, still trying to shake him awake. Papyrus kept calling him, telling him how much he needed him, how much he didn’t want to see him like this, how much he wanted Sans to just wake up with no suffering no more. He wanted his brother to be at peace with himself.

Eventually, everything seemed to calm down. The room was no longer so heady with magical pressure and Papyrus felt like he could sigh in relief. His brother’s trembling form moved in a jolt, pupil less eyes opening in a panic. Papyrus could only hug him closer, patiently waiting for Sans to recollect himself.

His soul glowed brightly in relief and love as he felt Sans nuzzle his neck, snuggling close to him.

_Oh Sans…please don’t scare me like that…_

 He felt Sans’ soul weakly reach out to his and he accepted it with no reservations, cradling it, encouraging the low pulse with his steady, although still a little fast paced, beats. Slowly, the room returned to normal, its previous sharp chill reduced to a pleasant and balanced warmth.

Still, he needed to be assured that his dear brother was alright. He gently raised the other’s face, searching, checking. Sans watched him with a half lidded gaze, tired, but his pupils seemed to be widening a bit, hazy with such fondness, it made Papyrus want to never let go.

“…you’re my everything.”

The words echoed beautifully inside him. Papyrus was surprised by that sudden confession but his soul was almost soaring. It was as if he was finally complete, even if he had never noticed he had been incomplete before.

He felt his brother’s face return to the crook of his neck, Sans’ loving nuzzles making him shudder. He rubbed Sans’ back soothingly, feeling the ridges and bumps of his bones. Their chests pressed against each other, allowing for their souls to intertwine.

As his brother suddenly pleaded, _pleaded_ , for him to never leave him, Papyrus could only pull him ever closer, because nowadays his brother could never be close enough to him. He was completely repulsed at even the slightest notion of ever leaving his dear Sans. And he was sure to reassure him of that with every fiber of his soul and being.

And so together they stayed. They eventually laid down on the mattress, still holding each other. They rested their foreheads against each other, gazing into each other’s eyes and finally connecting, bonding. Their souls rejoiced; they wouldn’t be denied their soul mate no longer. Sans’ eyes crinkled at the corners and Papyrus was gifted with the first genuine smile since a long time now.

Sans’ eyes sent the unsaid message of love and Papyrus was only happy to return it before they started closing, tired. It didn’t take long before Sans was fast asleep into hopefully terror free dreams. Papyrus would make sure of it, staying awake for the rest of the night, watching over his brother. He kept his soul very much active, warming the room and Sans’ body comfortably and lulling him with his peaceful beats.

Sans’ soul kept glowing, although dimly. To Papyrus’ surprise, he started snoring.

**_Wowie…Sans sure was tired…!!_ **

Papyrus smiled in pure happiness, snuggling his brother.

 

* * *

 

He knew it was probably horribly late when he felt Sans finally stir. It was most likely already past noon, so unsightly of The Great Papyrus!!

**_I THINK THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN ALLOW IT THIS TIME!!  JUST THIS ONCE!!!_ **

He silently watched his brother wake up. Sans blinked, yawning. His eyes seemed to be struggling to stay open for a few seconds before he finally focused his gaze on the one lying with him.

Papyrus’ smile widened.

“GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!!!!”

Sans’ grin twitched upwards, one eye closing as he winced from Papyrus’ boisterous voice right next to him. That sure woke him up now! He groaned, moving slightly and his bones popped. Papyrus’ cheeks started glowing a faint orange.

“morning, bro…”

My…Sans could really use a few morning exercises!! That much bone popping wouldn’t surely be good for him!!!

Papyrus would admit though that his brother had his own special charm as he woke up. Secretly, Papyrus had never been a stranger to Sans’ usual laidback charm (yes, even his puns!!) but his brother was usually so impersonal, so seemingly relaxed. To see him with such an adorable expression of grogginess, an endearing laziness that softened his round face was truly a completely different kind of charm. He wanted to cradle that face and cover it with his skeleton kisses. He wanted to embrace him tight and comfort himself with his scent: the inevitable scent of ketchup, the winds of Snowdin and his own amazing spaghetti; Sans smelled like home.

No. Sans is home.

But well, regretfully they couldn’t just spend the whole day laying down (regretfully!! Golly, this could not be, Sans was turning him into a lazybones too!!!). Sans didn’t seem to be entertaining the same idea as he just kept lying down, fingers caressing absentmindedly Papyrus’ back.

“SANS…!!”

Papyrus’ huffed good naturedly. Sans looked up at him, expression relaxed.

“yea, bro?”

Papyrus felt those fingers shifting down, curling carefully around his ribs, making him feel almost ticklish. He held down a snort.

“SANS WE SHOULD GET UP!! WE HAVEN’T EVEN EATEN YET!!”

Papyrus then gasped, cupping his own cheek.

“I SHOULD BE RECALIBRATING MY PUZZLES!!!”

He heard Sans snort, hiding his face on Papyrus’ chest. Papyrus gave him a very subdued glare.

“THIS ISN’T FUNNY, SANS!! WE HAVE TO GET UP THIS INSTANT!!!

Sans only snuggled closer, his soul glowing peacefully. Papyrus’ fake glare melted into his gentle gaze as he surrendered for just a bit longer. Just a few more minutes.

“You should be at your jobs right now…!”

He made one last attempt. Sans finally looked up, their gazes meeting, and he shrugged, looking to the side unapologetically.

“i can take this day off.”

Papyrus sighed in defeat. Well, he had tried. Might as well try this ‘lazybones’ lifestyle for once. The book had said for them to share interests after all. He could at least make an effort.

It wasn’t that bad, he concluded. He would never get used to it but he could do it. Having Sans in his arms surely helped.

He caressed Sans’ cheek, his fingertips leaving orange trails of energy. Sans leaned into the touch, his own fingers glowing a faint blue as he continued to trail them gently across Papyrus’ ribs.

Papyrus’ breath hitched, his smile widening and the corners of his eyes crinkled at the corners as the tickling sensation made him squirm a bit. Sans raised an eyebrow and trailed his hand further inside the other’s battle body, keeping the almost teasing caresses. It was enough for the glow on Papyrus’ cheeks to become evident as he let out a snort and a short giggle.

Sans’ grin widened, squinting his eyes playfully as his fingers made quick scratching motions across the bones. Papyrus burst into laughter.

“HAHAHA!! SANS, NO!!! THAT TICKLES!!!! HAHA HAHA!!!!!”

Papyrus had fallen on his back, on the mattress, and Sans’ grin tilted up as he used his remaining hand to join the other one. Sans chuckled, not helping it as Papyrus’ laugh was just so contagious. He kept tickling mercilessly, Papyrus squirming beneath him as he tried to retaliate. Sans wasn’t as ticklish but a few scratches on his ribs were enough to force a few more chuckles from him too.

They kept at it for a few more minutes, battling for victory as both squirmed away from each other’s treacherous fingers. Papyrus, as he tried to get away, fell from the mattress and inevitably took Sans with him. They rolled on the floor, the tickling fight soon turned into a mock wrestling match that Papyrus was sure to win if not for Sans teleporting himself away at the last minute.

“SANS THAT’S CHEATING!!!”

Sans dodged as his brother lunged at him, trying to tackle him. It quickly became a game of tag as Sans teleported downstairs with Papyrus sprinting right after him.

“SANS GET BACK HERE!! YOU CANNOT DENY THE GREAT PAPYRUS HIS VICTORY!!!”

Sans laughter reverberated across the whole home as he finally allowed himself to be caught in a bear hug, Papyrus’ boastful ‘nyehs’ joining him. He was held up as a prize as he made peace signs.

“alright, alright, bro. you got me.”

Papyrus put Sans down, putting his hands on his hips as he nodded proudly.

“I SURE DID!! DID YOU SEE THAT TECHNIQUE??! I’VE BEEN PERFECTING IT EVER SINCE UNDYNE TAUGHT ME THOSE MOVES!!!”

Sans shoved his hands inside his pockets, looking up at his brother. His grin was increasingly starting to feel like a real grin.

“i saw it, bro. that was so cool.”

Papyrus was beaming at being called cool. They were both extremely cool, if he did say so himself.

He raised his brows as he looked around, as if noticing only now that they were in the living room. He snapped his fingers victoriously.

“NYEHEHE!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS VICTORIOUS ONCE AGAIN!! AND BEING AS STRONG AND SMART AS I AM, THIS WAS ALSO A PLOY TO GET US OUT OF BED, LAZYBONES!!!”

Sans’ eyes crinkled, seemingly smiling as he shrugged. His voice maintained the same relaxed tone.

“consider me fully japed, bro.”

Papyrus was filled with a great sense of acomplishment for them both. He blushed happily as Sans winked at him and he headed to the kitchen to start making their very late breakfast spaghetti. Brunch spaghetti it is!!!

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very special and dear chapter to me. I hope you guys like it just as much! Please enjoy the seventh chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsoLYWTzqSY) of this chapter. It's an Undertale OST so I'm sure everyone loves it c: )

A week had passed since the dreaded nightmare and Sans’ breaking point. Ever since then, Sans’ life had changed completely and he was still trying to figure out if it was all for the best. For as much as he would like to pretend, his feelings had not ever changed even if everything else had.

Now it just didn’t hurt as much. Or maybe it hurt more. He couldn’t really decide. He would still stare at Papyrus longingly, he would still admire every trait, every action, every living beat of his pure, beautiful soul. But now he could do all that up close. Now he could touch Papyrus without immediately wanting to flinch away and shiver in self disgust. Now he could admire him in all his glory and sometimes even express it. Now he could marvel at the way Papyrus would smile happily at him and blush a not so discreet orange without damning himself to Hell and back at the same time.

Or maybe he still did that. But it wasn’t so often anymore.

Sometimes, as he laid in bed, the silence and darkness of the night no longer mirroring the now nonexistent emptiness inside him, he would wonder if maybe he was stuck in a dream somewhere, if one day everything would reset once again and he would be back to the beginning; the past Sans, the miserable wretch. And then his pupils would vanish and he would close his eyes to images of his well spent day with Papyrus and thoughts dominated by Papyrus. And he wouldn’t need Papyrus’ beats to lull him anymore too as he had found his own steady pulse deep beneath the deafening silence and the soft cold blue glow that was lighting up the receding darkness. The void was practically defeated.

It was this way that Papyrus found him this morning. The birds were singing and he had a gentle tilt to his grin as he snuggled further into his covers, hugging his pillow to his chest. He whined as Papyrus only huffed weakly, still shaking him awake and yet Sans still tried to sink into sleep again, comforted by the soft chill of his own soul.

But the warmth had come and it was oh so tempting. To most, warmth would only encourage even more laziness, would make them want those famous five more minutes. To him, warmth made him want to do everything, made him want to get up and _live_.

He still tried to fight it sometimes. An idiotic notion, why would he want to fight this particular warmth really, when all he had done was crave for it. He would never truly admit it or accept it but…he was scared of it. Embracing this warmth would be a turning point, would be a drastic change and it would be him finally stepping up to who he is and how he feels. Sans didn’t really like feeling. Feeling hurt and destroyed you and all the others around you.

But Papyrus had slowly shown him that feeling also healed and sometimes even resurrected. Feeling is a part of living and if you’re feeling then it just means you’re alive. Maybe all of this fear was due to the fact that he had never felt much alive even if he was standing and walking and talking. He has simply been existing. He had never ever really believed that the fact that he existed was wonderful to himself let alone to other people. So he would often ask to the darkness why he was existing at all.

And then Papyrus would come with his warmth and his smiles and his nagging and his spaghetti…

Ah yes…he almost forgot. _This_ is why he exists.

“SANS!!! COME ON BROTHER, GET UP!!”

Sans peeked one eye open, looking over his shoulder and almost snorting as he saw Papyrus looking at the ceiling in exasperation, still weakly shaking him with one arm. He hid his face on his pillow, nuzzling it. Mingling with his own dominant scent was Papyrus’, from that one night, mixing pleasantly in the soft fabric of the pillow. He had succeeded in hiding it from Papyrus’ weekly laundry day but it wouldn’t be long until Sans himself would like to have it washed, surprising as that could be. After all, there’s only so much ketchup smell he can take.

“LAZYBONES!!! YOU PROMISED!!!!”

He opened both of his eyes at that, his tiny pupils slowly becoming more focused. He hazily searched his mind for the promise Papyrus was talking about, because really, he wasn’t the guy that made promises. He wasn’t the guy that could make promises, even if he wanted…

**_oh, yea. now i remember._ **

Yesterday he had promised Papyrus that they would spend the whole day together. Outside.

He started feeling anxious. Why exactly had he made that promise?

The hazy image of Papyrus’ hopeful expression, eyes soft and genuinely happy, the pleading clasp of his gloved hands and then the pure burst of enthusiasm as he ‘nyeh’d’ victoriously when Sans finally gave in dully reminded him.

He was such a sucker. Not even only for punishment anymore. He was just a sucker in general.

He groaned, his blue glow intensifying as he dreaded the day full of Papyrus that awaited him. It sounded like such a wonderful thing but really, this week has just been an emotional rollercoaster to him and he didn’t do emotional roller coasters. He was the guy that would hold your popcorn or ice cream or cotton candy (or whatever, really) while you were the one who went on the rollercoaster. Not the other way around.

“uuuuuuh…”

He continued to groan. Papyrus gave a loud sigh. He was still shaking him.

“SANS, COME OOOON!! YOU PROMISED, YOU PINKY PROMISED!!!!”

Dear stars…he had actually pinky promised. Welp, no turning back now then. That was just how promises worked. He would just have to bear with it.

He was just about to give in and sit up when he was suddenly hit with a weight on top of him.

“ _oomph!!_ w-what th-? papyrus!”

His brother had dropped down on top of him on a last resort to wake him up. Sans would say that he had been successful but the weight of his brother was still making him wheeze. He managed to topple onto his back, eyes half lidded in sleepiness as Papyrus shifted with him, still lying on top of him, limp like a ragdoll.

His brother wasn’t ‘big boned’ (he he, good one) like him but damn…he sure made that up with his height; he was pretty heavy in his own right.

“p-paps, bro…”

In a mock imitation, Papyrus only groaned, the sound muffled on Sans’ shoulder, where he currently had his face buried in.

Sans’ brow twitched in amusement. He was almost impressed. Papyrus’ limp form almost portrayed a laziness of his own. They stayed like that for a few seconds, the sounds of the morning the only thing to be heard as the light of day showered the room in soft bright colors. Sans could really get used to this.

“SAAAAANS…!”

The call of his name was still muffled and Sans raised a hand and gave a pat to Payrus’ skull. His grin widened slightly as he felt the other raise his head, soon being faced with Papyrus’ famous weak glare. He knew his brother wasn’t really mad at him. It almost seemed like a pout really.

“yea, bro?”

He knew he was being slightly infuriating but really, he had missed this kind of banter. He had missed everything. They were both reliving the good times and were set on making even more of those good times. No more would they live back to back. The future was theirs.

He knew Papyrus was probably thinking along similar lines as the tremble of his mouth betrayed a hidden smile, the fondness of his gaze appraised him and his warmth that mingled naturally with his cold.

*Clack.*

Sans always jumped when he did that, feeling the warmth of his mouth as Papyrus placed a skeleton kiss on his cheek. He sputtered, making small almost unnoticeable noises of embarrassment as his cheeks started to glow. Papyrus only giggled, eyes crinkling at the corners happily as he started to get up. Sans almost wanted to reach out and pull him back but he was still too flustered to do anything. His brother looked down at himself and adjusted his scarf before he started walking towards the door, knowing that his job had been done and Sans was going to get up now.

“BREAKFAST IS READY!! NYEHEHE!”

Papyrus said as he left the room. Sans gave a good natured huff, chuckling it off. He could really get used to this too. These mornings, these afternoons, these evenings. To then repeat and begin again. He dressed at his usual pace, stopping to look for usable socks in one of his piles. The blue glow was faint but it was almost always there now. It was successfully covered by his shirt and hoodie jacket though but he would take comfort in knowing that it was still there. He went to the bathroom and gave a quick cold splash to his face, drying it before catching a glance at himself at the mirror. The shadows of old were still gracing his visage but it was all that it was: shadows. His tiny pupils looked dull but lucid and even his grin looked different. He didn’t usually look at his own reflection. After all, it was just him.

Despite everything, it was still him.

His grin tilted up and he went downstairs to where he knew his brother was waiting with the spaghetti. His footsteps weren’t so loud anymore.

He sat up at the table and Papyrus laid a plate of spaghetti in front of him. Sans grabbed his fork and wrapped the sauce soaked strings around it absentmindedly as Papyrus joined him at the table. He played a bit more with his food before he took the first bite. Even the spaghetti was starting to taste different. There was something about the taste…it felt stronger. But not in the bad sense, actually it seemed like Papyrus was improving! He blinked as he chewed slowly, even that a stark contrast as his brother ate a little more quickly.

“did ya do somethin’ different with this spaghetti…?”

Papyrus’ fork stopped in midair and his expression lightened up.

“NYEHEHE!! SO YOU NOTICED!!! IT IS TRUE, DEAR BROTHER! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS…”

Sans ate another forkful as he waited for his brother to continue. It seemed to be a dramatic pause.

“…HAVE INCREASED THE AMOUNT OF SPICES!! A RISKY MOVE, I KNOW. BUT NOTHING IS TOO RISKY FOR ONE SUCH AS I!!”

Sans hummed in appreciation. He could definitely taste the richness of the herbs. It was a mixture of herbs actually, blended into the tomato sauce. It also gave a really nice smell. He gave a small chuckle, his eyes half lidded as his grin tilted almost mischievously.

“guess you didn’t have a…”

Papyrus raised an eyebrow, as if estranged from this particular tone that Sans was taking –and really, Sans felt almost ashamed at that- before realization lit up in his eyes at the same time Sans made the punch line.

 “…bad thyme.”

“SANS!!!”

Sans chuckled at his brother’s outraged expression. He had truly missed this. Why did he ever stop this?

This was what was right. Nothing else.

“SANS THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY TASTELESS!!”

Sans only laughed harder as Papyrus groaned at his own accidental pun.

“he he…oh c’mon, you’re smiling.”

Said smile softened, the familiar words and routine settling in like a distant dream. Papyrus gave a soft huff, not bothering at all to try to hide it.

“I AM AND I HATE IT!”

The homely ambience was quick to settle in, natural and nostalgic to both of them. It was these little things that made the difference. The small almost insignificant little things that played the big part. This had all started when they both started noticing those little things after all. And really, why worry about the little things when there was something bigger right there in front of you, haunting you constantly? The little things were the least of their problems. But they had forgotten that the little things made the big things and as so, forgotten the little things themselves.

For example, appreciating every single second they spent together. It all seemed so fast, so fleeting. But now, as they finished their meals, they felt like they could live these moments forever.

They wished they could lives these moments forever.

Papyrus took the plates and quickly washed them, giving then a quick sweep at the kitchen until he was satisfied at its pristine condition. Sans had moved to the living room, calmly sipping at a ketchup packet while he waited.

Papyrus adjusted his scarf before he opened the front door. The chill of Snowdin greeted their morning fresh faces and gave them a feeling of peace, of renew. This day, they would have fun.

Together.

“LET’S GO THEN, BROTHER!!”

Sans put the empty packet of ketchup on his pocket before his hands quickly followed, feeling the ‘graveyard’ of the other ketchup packets. Even that felt familiar too. He would have to empty his pockets soon though, yikes!

“right beside ya, bro.”

Like it had always been. And always will be.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (✿◠‿◠)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long, I've just been feeling a little down these past couple of days...but well, nevermind that! Please enjoy the eighth chapter! <3 
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDz45y_C630) of this chapter (▰˘◡˘▰) )

Papyrus admittedly considered himself an easily excited kind of monster and it was only the truth. But he couldn’t remember being this excited since the time when he made his first (successful) puzzle! The winds of Snowdin howled but the weather wasn’t aggressively cold. The soft crunch of the snow beneath his boots, accompanied by the slightly more subdued one of Sans’ footsteps beside him gave him the soothing feeling of their long lasting companionship and how gratuitous and trustful it all had always been. Their journey was far from being over and Papyrus knew there was still much to be done, a lot to be said, feelings to be felt. But they were going there, slowly, calmly, at their own pace –Papyrus made sure to make his steps a little shorter, despite his long legs; these thoughts had reminded him of Sans’ own slightly more hurried pace to keep up with him.

He glanced to his side and his smile widened tenderly, seeing Sans with his carefree half lidded gaze once again, a gaze that he hadn’t seen for some time now. The tiny stressed lines on his expression were practically invisible now and his grin was starting to look almost natural. Papyrus felt his soul stir in satisfaction, pleased that his efforts had helped his dear brother, he knew it! They walked close to each other, maintaining a small space between them. As Papyrus’ hands swung idly between that space, he could feel the lukewarm temperature –the result of their ever mixing energies and a stark contrast on the cold weather. It had taken some time but Papyrus was patient when he really wanted something and as so, he had made sure that he could start reserving more and more of his time solely to his brother. This week had been fairly successful and he already had planned it all. In fact, he had been planning this day the whole week. He had consulted the dating book again as from his last attempts it had proved to be a trustful source.

With the first “date” done, it was time to move on to the second date along with a few other new things –and golly, were they new! He had almost been nervous as he turned the pages, going to the middle section of the book, where he hadn’t read much of it. He was pleasantly surprised though. There was a wide arrange of even more tips, observations and suggestions that he could use and he was quick to find something he just knew would work wonderfully. His smile widened at the thought and he caught Sans giving him a curious look from the corner of his eye.

He knew what he had planned for this day was a bit of a risky move but, it was like had said, nothing is too risky for The Great Papyrus! The book had said so too, to always take in consideration the other person’s feelings and personality even if the gesture was the most beautiful and loving thing someone could do. Papyrus had been absolutely enchanted with basically all the ideas in the book, they all just seemed so much fun and really it was just such a good reason to spend time with his older brother that he hadn’t understood what the book had meant then. As he spent more and more time with Sans though, gently continuing his small advances with occasional hugging and small kisses here and then, he started to understand and had to take some time to put more thought into it.

Sans was a relaxed monster, laidback and usually pretty chill –that was not a pun!!- but he had also noticed that his brother didn’t really put much effort in interaction or, to be better phrased, in beginning interaction. And when met with interaction, Sans usually was the one to listen, to nod his head along, to shrug when asked an opinion, to just tell you to do whatever you want. He didn’t like to draw attention to himself and whenever he did, he liked to just joke it off or wander off to somewhere saying he was feeling sleepy. Whenever Papyrus brushed against him he would shift away, whenever he touched his hand Sans would start to blush and avoid eye contact, trying to make it seem less intimate than it was and when Papyrus gave him skeleton kisses, Sans would just stay still, not knowing what to do with himself.

It was eventually obvious and so clear to Papyrus that Sans was terribly shy.

In light of that, what he had planned was, although pretty charming if he did say so himself, a little risky. He just hoped Sans liked it! But well…if he didn’t like it Papyrus would understand and suggest something else. He had already a few backup alternatives in case that would happen and even if that didn’t work, it would still be alright, he could ask Sans for suggestions too. Truly, the only thing he wanted was to make Sans happy.

“so huh…what are we doing today, bro? anything on your mind?”

Nevertheless, his plan was only to be put in practice later in the evening. For now, they were just going to have fun and spend time together. They had reached the beginning of Snowdin’s forest, at the crossroads. His puzzles weren’t that far actually but now wasn’t the time to be thinking about them! He gave some thought to Sans’ question as they stopped, scratching his chin. What to do? There were so many things that Papyrus wanted to do with Sans now that they had time for each other, so many ways for them to have fun that he was trying to decide between making a snowman, snow angels…oh! Maybe even an igloo! They could ask for some ice blocks from the hard working wolf next to the Slime family!

As he mused, he saw Sans look around from the corner of his eye, relaxed, before his grin shifted, tilting up in a small smirk as he bent down. He thought nothing of it –perhaps he had found something on the floor, probably a gold coin (Sans was pretty lucky at finding those)- that is until he felt something cold and relatively soft hit the back of his head.

“BETRAYAL!!!”

He bellowed as he swiftly turned around to be hit with a snowball right on his face again. He huffed and wiped the snow from his face, seeing Sans with another one prepared on his hand already. Papyrus’ outraged expression softened in playfulness as he dodged that one, ducking to quickly make a snowball of his own –his snowball making skills were incomparable! His smile widened as he saw Sans chuckle, his eyes crinkling at the corners and no longer half lidded, rather his tiny pupils seemed to be a little bit larger as he cradled a hurriedly made snowball- this one bigger- with both of his hands. Papyrus ‘nyehd’ as he threw his, Sans chuckling again as he narrowly dodged it. The mood was set and their energies crackled in excitement as the snowball fight began.  He managed to hit Sans with one on the shoulder before he took cover behind one of the snow covered large rocks. He could hear Sans move, probably making more snowballs and he giggled in mischievousness, holding a whole bunch of his own and ready for a surprise attack. He waited until the sounds sounded closer before he jumped out of his cover.

"HA HA!! I’VE GOT YOU NOW, BROTHER…!!!  WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU-??!!”

His eyes widened as Sans’ seemingly vulnerable stance, hands in his pockets –where were his defenses??!- suddenly changed as his left eye glowed a low blue, quickly raising one hand and lifting several snowballs from the ground behind him. Before Papyrus could even protest they were all flung towards him. He didn’t even have the time to turn and take cover as he was flooded with snow, making him fall on his back.

He could hear Sans laughing.

“SANS YOU’RE CHEATING AGAIN!!”

He sat up, wiping snow left and right as he huffed at his brother who simply shrugged. His left eye’s glow started fading. His shoulders shook slightly with his low chuckles as he shuffled forward, making a move to help Papyrus up.

“he he, _snow_ sorry, bro. here let me help, you look pretty _snowed_ in.”

Papyrus ‘nyehd’ mischievously, moving one of his fingers in a upward motion very discreetly, a soft trail of orange conjuring a well hidden bone on the floor just in time to make Sans trip, not expecting such trickery from Papyrus.  Papyrus laughed as Sans couldn’t regain his footing, falling easily into his arms and making him lay down back on the floor. They both chuckled and Papyrus took advantage to pin Sans down. He thought he saw something strange and unfamiliar in his brother’s gaze as he did that, his cheeks glowed a faint blue for a quick second and his breath had hitched –he looked rather charming, actually…- before he rolled him on the ground, both of them bursting into laughter as he successfully made a snow Sans ‘burrito’. He brought a hand to his mouth to muffle his giggles as he saw Sans all huddled up like that in the snow, hands sticking out and fingers squirming as he chuckled, his eyes half lidded once again.

“ok ok, i guess i deserved that.”

There seemed to be a double meaning to that as his expression darkened slightly but Papyrus wouldn’t bring it up. Instead he leaned down and gave him a skeleton kiss on the forehead. Sans still shuddered and stuttered but he leaned into it this time, accepting it fully. He helped him get out of the snow ‘burrito’ and they both just sat there for a while making mounds of snow between their feet. Papyrus just made a hole on top of it and called it a ‘snow volcano’ –he had read about them from one of the human books Aphys would let him borrow sometimes- while Sans just wrote his name in ketchup on it, as usual. They then had fun making snowmen and snow angels. Papyrus’ ones littered the floor as he moved his arms and legs while Sans just laid there motionless, arms and legs stretched and completely satisfied with that. Papyrus had long given up on telling him he had to actually _move_ to make a snow angel.

It was starting to get late and Sans stretched as he got up, bones popping. Papyrus got up too, cringing as his own popped too and Sans’ grin widened. Papyrus narrowed his eyes, daring him to comment on it.

“we should get back home, bro. it’s almost time for dinner.”

“ACTUALLY…!”

Sans turned to him with a brow raised but his gaze was expectant, curious. That was good.

Oh golly, here comes this nervousness again! Papyrus wrung his gloved hands, kicking the snow absentmindedly.

“I THOUGHT WE COULD MAYBE HAVE DINNER OUT!! I ALREADY KNOW WHERE AND MADE A RESERVATION AND EVERYTHING!!!”

Sans’ eyes widened, blue blush returning in pleased surprise. There weren’t many places around where they could eat, the nearest one was the only one he went to after all. But Papyrus couldn’t possibly…

“y-you serious?”

Sans gasped as Papyrus suddenly took hold of his hand, a bold sudden move that had him stilling like a statue. He was internally screaming though. Then Papyrus raised his hand to his mouth and Sans was on the verge of seriously teleporting away because he couldn’t trust himself not to do anything stupid as his brother kissed his hand tenderly, looking at him expectantly and with something definitely different in his gaze.

“S-SO! IS THAT A YES??”

It was the first time he had ever seen his brother so nervously unsure and because of him, of all people. It made his nonexistent gut twist. They were both nervous, their energies were crackling in earnest as if experimenting with this sudden tension. He couldn’t quite say this tension was bad though.

“h-huuh…sure? i don’t mind.”

Papyrus looked significantly relieved. Wait, had his brother actually thought he would say no? The notion was almost laughable. And it sounded so wrong but the thought that Papyrus cared so much for what he would say made him feel actually pretty good. It made him feel like he was worth something after all.

“SPLENDID! SHALL WE THEN??”

He had lowered Sans’ hand but hadn’t detached his from it. In fact, Papyrus’ fingers gently coaxed his to intertwine and he hesitantly gave in, the other hand buried in his pocket clinging to it for dear life. Oh stars, what in the world were they doing??

This all felt too real.

They walked silently back to Snowdin Town and Sans felt a little self conscious as almost everyone they passed by gave them curious looks but not too lingering. As they neared Grillby’s the scent of greasy food started to become more intense and Sans was absolutely appalled with how Papyrus hadn’t changed his mind yet. He hated the place and its food after all. Why had he even made a reservation??!

As they opened the door, the warmth of it inside hit them pleasantly. From the corner of his eye, he saw Papyrus scrunch his face for a moment, probably at the strong smell. He squeezed his hand for assurance.

“we huh…we don’t have to eat here, bro. we can go back home and eat your spaghetti if you want to. i don’t mind.”

Papyrus blinked down at him before he smiled widely, shaking his head.

“I like to stick with my decisions, Sans.” Sans’ eyes widened at the low tone, Papyrus’ words sounding dearly intimate as only he could hear them. “This is all for you after all.”

For…him?

He couldn’t ask Papyrus what he had meant with that as his brother raised his head then, waving at Grillby, whose flames crackled in satisfaction at seeing them.

They walked further inside, the usual customers turning as they passed them, waving.

“Hey, Sans! Good to see you!”

“Sans! Been some time! How’ve you been?”

“Sansyyy!”

“Sup, Sans!”

He waved back at them all. The familiarity of it all, the good natured greetings of his friends at Grillby’s and even the fire monster himself who nodded at him...it all made him remember how natural and simple everything used to be. Papyrus signed something at Grillby really quick and he nodded, directing them to a free table near a window. They sat down, facing each other and Sans was already feeling pretty confused and lost but then Grillby pulled a candle from out of nowhere and lighted it with the flames on the top of his head, placing it on the table between them.

The candle was scented. Rose scented.

Sans could practically feel the blue glow on his cheeks. He narrowed his eyes at Grillby, already convinced the bartender knew something he didn’t. Grillby only maintained his usual impartial stance and expression, dark glasses not showing anything as he opened his little notebook and clicked his pen, ready to take their orders.

 “DO YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU’LL BE HAVING, SANS??”

He looked at Papyrus, blinking. He cleared his throat, sneaking another narrowed glance at Grillby who was keeping the clueless act, before he looked to the side in defeat, shrugging.

“i’ll just have the usual.”

Grillby didn’t even need to write down that, since he probably already knew it like the back of his gloved hand. He then inclined his head towards Papyrus expectantly.

Papyrus seemed to be analyzing the menu –probably looking for something grease free- before he decided.

“I’LL HAVE THE VANILLA MILKSHAKE!!”

Sans held back a snort in amusement as Grillby wrote that down. He wanted to tell Papyrus that that wasn’t exactly a proper dinner but oh well, exceptions could be made. As Grillby left to make their food, an awkward silence formed as they waited. Papyrus seemed to be more comfortable now that the greasy smell was slightly subdued with the scent of roses coming from the candle.

The candle.

Why did Grillby put a candle on the table, he usually didn’t do that. It gave a serious, dare he say _romantic_ feel to the mood around them and he wasn’t sure what to think of that. As always, he was an adept at wishful thinking. For all he knew it had simply been a thoughtful act for Papyrus, who disliked the smell of the place.

But still, he couldn’t shake it off.

“SO, SANS! A-ARE YOU LIKING THIS DAY SO FAR??”

Sans leaned his head on his fist, peering up at Papyrus. He appreciated the attempt at filling in the silence but he was starting to become a little worried as Papyrus still seemed a bit nervous.

“yea, bro. it’s been super.”

He looked down at the tablecloth, his other hand playing with the stray ends of its edges.

“i always like to spend time with you.”

He thought he heard Papyrus make a weird kind of squeaky noise at that but when he looked up he was smiling fondly at him. His hand sought out his again and Sans didn’t resist it as much. He gulped as Papyrus’ fingers caressed his knuckles, thumb soothingly tracing the weathered ridges, worn out from use of magic and a lifetime of work, despite his famous laziness. His brother’s movements were slow and thoughtful, an underlying thankfulness as he traced every bump and crack. It felt…pretty amazing actually. He didn’t really like his hands, they were nothing special after all and he didn’t take pride in some things he had done with those hands, time and time again…

But the way Papyrus was looking at him, with such love and trust, made him feel like they weren’t all that bad if they could make his brother that happy.

**_*ba-thump!*_** The pulse spread across his body and made his chest glow a little bit more.

Their hands parted as Grillby returned with their food: Sans’ usual burger (the worst one in the menu, people liked to say) and fries with a side of a generous amount of ketchup packets and a decent sized vanilla milkshake with whipped cream and even a cherry on top for Papyrus who seemed to be genuinely impressed. Grillby nodded to them before he turned and went back behind the counter, polishing a glass.

Papyrus took an experimental sip on the straw and his face suddenly lit up.

“WOWIE, THIS IS DELICIOUS!!!”

He looked up and gave an energetic thumbs up at Grillby, whose flames crackled in amusement as he gave a thumbs up back too. Sans snorted, chuckling as he dove in on his burger. He sighed happily as the greasy juices met his taste buds. Ah yes, he had missed this. Really, he loved Papyrus’ spaghetti and was happy to eat it but he liked to indulge in his favorites now and then too. He looked up as Papyrus cringed at the grease running down Sans’ fingers and he couldn’t help but smirk, making a move to hold Papyrus’ hand that was on the table –this was probably the only time he had initiated something like this on his own- just to see Papyrus literally recoil, a hilarious tormented expression as he was faced with having to decide between wanting to hold Sans’ hand and being in contact with that unholy slimy greasy substance that covered said hand.

Sans thought his brother’s squeamishness with greasy or dirty things would stop him but he was quickly proven wrong as Papyrus’ fingers touched him for a bit before Sans himself pulled away, seeing how Papyrus was trying to hide his uncomfortable expression.

They both chuckled it off but Sans couldn’t help the bubbly feeling that was starting to form inside of him. It had just been a joke but Papyrus had touched his hand anyways as if he wouldn’t mind anything as long as he could be with him. It was a simple enough thought that they both shared but as always, Sans wouldn’t allow himself to think further of it.

As they finished their meals, Sans wiped his hands –thoroughly, as he didn’t want Papyrus to be uncomfortable. Then the sound of a melody reached their ears and Sans was reminded that this day was usually dance night at Grillby’s. Since the jukebox has been broken since forever, Grillby had took it upon himself to not break the tradition and bring the music himself with his violin. The songs he played were upbeat and the whole diner would be filled with song and clapping and stomping as everyone danced along, laughing and smiling. It was one of the few things that maintained the positivity in the underground.

And it was fun.

Sans didn’t join in though. He couldn’t dance and even if he could he wasn’t a dancing kind of guy. He should have known it was dance night, there were more people in the diner than usual after all. They all had helped Grillby move the tables so there would be room for free movement and now they were accompanying Grillby’s music with their clapping, quickly choosing their pairs.

He heard a charmed gasp from beside him and a slight feeling of dread overcame him as Papyrus seemingly didn’t know of this but was pleasantly surprised anyway. His brother stood up, looking at him expectantly as he offered him his hand. Sans started to sweat, tiny pupils darting from Papyrus’ face to where everyone was dancing. He tried chuckling it off, shaking his head and waving his hands.

“a-ah…you go have fun, bro. ya know i don’t dance. i think i see someone without a pair over there-!!”

He was almost yanked out of his chair as his brother took his hand anyway and they headed to the dance floor. Sans was thinking up all the possible excuses so he could escape this situation when Papyrus placed a hand on his hip and another help up their hands, fingers interlaced. Sans was absolutely stunned, looking around and seeing the others completely submersed in their own pairs, laughing and having fun.

“It’s alright, Sans. Here!” Sans’ blush returned in full force once again as he was pulled closer, forcing him to lean into Papyrus, grab on to his shoulder and place his feet on top of his. “Just follow my lead!”

And then they danced. It was clumsy and not very graceful on his part but Papyrus was actually a pretty good dancer. Would this day have any more surprises? Since when did his brother learn how to dance?

From the corner of his eye, he saw Grillby nodding at his brother who discreetly nodded back. Sans gave Grillby an unamused stare and the bartender simply pretended to be clueless, once again, carrying on with his music. He made a mental note to have a talk with Grillby later.

Well…it wasn’t all that bad, actually. Their closeness made their souls glow bright, just like all the other dancing monsters’, and yet they were sharing a moment that was theirs alone. It was easy to get lost in the music, in the rhythm and in Papyrus’ synchronized movements that lead his patiently, encouragingly. And stars, Papyrus felt so warm, so strong, that he felt he could be in his arms forever. He felt safe.

Sans was still feeling quite embarrassed but that was greatly muffled with Papyrus’ laughs and blissful expression. And admittedly, Sans was having fun. The twirls and dips and steps had him feeling like he was flying. He still wasn’t a dancing kind of guy but he understood why others liked it so much. The colored trails of their souls made for quite a mesmerizing sight too as they accompanied their flowing movements. Papyrus was positively shining.  

“ARE YOU HAVING FUN, SANS??”

Sans grinned up at Papyrus, shrugging. If he were honest with himself, just standing like this, so close, would have been enough of a good night for him.

“sure, bro. it’s not that bad.”

Papyrus seemed really happy with his answer and Sans found it was getting increasingly easier to return the sentiment. Papyrus leaned down and nuzzled his cold cheek. The sharp contrast between their temperatures made Sans stutter like always but he returned the affection, his grip on his brother’s shoulder tightening as said nuzzling moved down to his neck.

Stars, he had done nothing to deserve this. He was in Heaven. He was in Hell. He was damned and he was blessed. Papyrus was more than capable of making him forget everything else. And for now, he was more than happy to.

He lived the moment to the fullest and made sure he would remember it, no matter how many more timelines he would come across.

For now he fully allowed his soul to relish and thrive, glowing fiercely and matching Papyrus’ as they continued to dance with their chosen soul mate.

 

* * *

 

Well into the night and after Grillby’s closed, Papyrus said he wanted them to go to one last place. He was feeling rather drained since he had been more active just this day than probably his whole life and was about ready to just fall asleep anywhere. But he humored his brother and followed him. They passed by their house and continued. Sans noticed they were heading to Waterfall and he had a slight idea of what his brother wanted to do.

As they entered Waterfall, heading deeper into the caverns, the beautiful blue glow in its darkness had a soothing quality to it. He didn’t have to look up to know the roof was littered with thousands of shimmering crystals, the crystals monsters liked to settle for as substitutes for the stars. They silently sat down on their usual spot –he remembered when he and Papyrus would come here quite often, using the telescope and imagining what the ‘stars’ could be saying, trying to find a spot where the crystal formation would resemble a real constellation or even just making wishes to the echo flowers.

They leaned into each other’s heads, gazing up and intertwining their fingers on the floor between them, souls coexisting in peace.

Sans felt his lids drop and he knew he couldn’t do the same as Papyrus, couldn’t fight the constant sleepiness that he lived in. But he made sure Papyrus knew just how cool he really was.

He raised a hand and laid it softly on Papyrus’ cheek, gently coaxing him to face him.

“this was the best day of my life…thanks. for everything.”

_thank you for not giving up on me._ Was the unsaid truth.

He didn’t even have the time to marvel at how absolutely happy Papyrus looked before his mouth bumped into his. He leaned into the kiss and for once, wasn’t so afraid to show his feelings.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was painful to write ;-; Please, enjoy the ninth chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQZm523M2jw) of this chapter. )

It was terribly late when the brothers came back home. They had stayed a bit longer at Waterfall, surrounded by the calming sounds of the rushing, shimmering water and lulled by their peaceful souls, so much so, that Sans had fallen into a deep slumber. Papyrus didn’t have the heart to wake him up, not while knowing how tired Sans must have been after this eventful day. And what a day! Papyrus couldn’t have asked for things to have gone any better. He had so much fun with Sans today, he couldn’t wait to do it again! He would consult the “Dating Book” once again, read over all the suggestions once again and start listing the ones that would appeal to them both the most. There was so much they could do; all the possibilities were starting to make him feel giddy.

He had breathed in the scents of the caverns, something about them just screamed ‘star lit rocky fields’ almost as if they weren’t caverns at all. Sans had slumped against him, the top of his skull brushing against his jaw. Papyrus would be more than happy to actually just stay with him like this for the rest of the night, just them and the crystal lit ‘sky’ above them. The rocky floor had always been strangely comfortable, smooth and not too chilly and he humbly thought this had been the perfect place to end their date. But he knew his bones (and possibly Sans’, but he knew his older brother would sleep anywhere he could) would regret it in the morning and as so he decided to get up, carefully lifting Sans in his arms. Unconsciously, as if already knowing it was him, Sans wrapped his arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. It wasn’t the first time Papyrus carried him like this, of course not, this was Sans after all but he always found it endearing how he always automatically wrapped himself around him, always unconsciously knowing it was him that was picking him up. And it must also make quite the sight since despite Sans being short he wasn’t exactly small, he was an adult after all. He wasn’t very heavy for Papyrus, he could carry him just fine but he still found it funny. It brought him back to tender memories when Sans would carry him instead, a long time ago, no matter how tired he was. And Sans was always tired.

As he gingerly walked back home, he hummed in happiness as he felt Sans nuzzle his neck sleepily, mumbling something incoherent. He exited the caverns and was soon met with Snowdin’s everlasting winter. He held Sans closer, willing his soul to glow brighter, sending warmth to them both. He felt Sans’ soul recede peacefully in response, allowing for his to take care of him. He steadily trudged through the high snow, seeing a few familiar faces still out from time to time. Finally reaching their house, he shook the snow from both of them and entered, closing the front door behind him. He didn’t bother flicking the lights on as they were going straight to their beds. He went up the stairs, heading towards Sans’ bedroom.

**_I WHOLEHEARTEDLY DISAPROOVE OF THIS MESS!_ **

He really didn’t know how his brother could even sleep in such a disorganized room, let alone spend almost entire days in it. There were socks and stray notes everywhere, piles of sci-fi books mixed with joke books and even dirty plates of his spaghetti! Not to mention the dusty treadmill in the corner which he couldn’t even remember why his brother had gotten it for. Something about future pranks across time and space…

He knelt down and wiped away more notes that littered the mattress (he had long stopped trying to understand the strange symbols in some of them) and straightened the almost ball shaped sheets, so crumpled together they were. He wrinkled his nose in disapproval. Seems like laundry day would have to come earlier this time too.

He gently laid Sans’ sleeping form on the mattress, straightening the sheets the best he could and carefully laying them on top of his brother. Sans’ grin seemed to tilt upwards then, latching onto his pillow almost instantly and snuggling into the sheets. Papyrus brought a hand to his mouth to stifle a giggle before he caressed his cheek with the back of hand, leaning down to give him a tender skeleton kiss on the forehead.

“I love you, Sans.”

He didn’t know where that came from but he didn’t even question it. He had always loved his brother but he was all too aware that what he had just said was a different type of love, something that went much deeper, much farther. It simply felt like a natural thing to say and he had said it. Sans wasn’t awake to hear him this time but he would one day. For now, they will rest.

Sans had been holding on to his other hand and his fingers lingered as he got up, as if struggling to part. Papyrus willed himself to walk away and out of the bedroom, heading to his own. As he took off his boots and gloves, burying himself in the covers, he smiled widely. He had said it. And it had felt so good. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was about ready to shout it to the heavens.

He loves Sans. Deeply, truly, from the depths of his soul. The times of pretending were over and the freedom truth had brought had shown him how to be honest with himself and to look within himself for long lost answers. He had finally found it and it was so simple, he wanted to laugh. But he didn’t. He slowly closed his eyes and dreamed.

He dreamed about finally catching that blasted canine that wouldn’t stop stealing his special attacks.

 

* * *

 

Waking up had become something not so dreadful anymore. Sans no longer pursued ways of delaying it, no longer felt the urge to smother himself with his pillow so as not to be hit with the sounds and light of day. Instead, he blinked, sitting up and staring ahead in a daze for a moment, letting it all sink in. He could hear Papyrus being loud downstairs, as always, cooking their breakfast.

Images of yesterday kept flashing through his mind and his grin twitched. Everything had been so deceitfully wonderful this past week. It had all changed so fast. He had started from darkness and silence and now here he was, visions of bright orange and blue swirling in harmony across his memories. It felt similar to his dreams: an eerie feeling of misplacement, as if there were some puzzle pieces forced together, pieces that wouldn’t normally fit.

That weren’t meant to fit.

He sighed, feeling tired already. He had tried to understand, oh how he tried. His mind was a mess of doubt and hope, mixed with the ever present self hatred that kept poisoning every single positive explanation he tried to find to justify the drastic turn his and Papyrus’ life had taken in such a short period of time. He had enjoyed every second he had spent with Papyrus, had enjoyed every touch, every word, every smile, every kiss…

**_you sure enjoyed everything, trashbag._ **

He shook his head against such thoughts. He had promised himself he would fight it. He had heard that insult before and the thought that he was using it on himself was disturbing to say the least. But he couldn’t help it. He had tried, he swears he had, but he was hopeless. He couldn’t help but envision all the little things and twist them for his own selfish desires, turn the time he had spent with Papyrus into something that encouraged those desires. It was obvious after his pathetic breakdown Papyrus had tried his best to cheer him up, to help him hold himself together, to spend more time with him and motivate him. To make him feel better.

He had failed to keep to his own word, had failed to never let Papyrus see how truly messed up he was inside, how…broken, shattered and lost he felt every day. He failed to protect his brother from him. And now Papyrus was trying to get involved in his naïve, innocent way, blindly giving him a hand when all he wanted was the whole arm and _more_.

How foolish of him to have thought the void had been gone. It had only been dormant and now it was slowly awakening once again, filling his chest, drowning his soul, invading his mind.

Papyrus didn’t know what he was doing.

With his wonderful hugs and loving kisses. He couldn’t possibly know how it completely wrecked him inside. He was despicable. In the heat of the moment, everything had felt so good that he had sunk into it, muffling his own inner demons and convincing himself they were no longer there. Stars, he had let Papyrus _kiss_ him!

He looked down at his hands, sitting cross legged on the mattress. He was fully clothed, Papyrus must have carried him home yesterday.

He sighed, covering his face with his hands as if hiding from the disgusted mocking voices inside of him, all in voices much similar to Papyrus’ and he all but crumpled back into shame for letting himself hope so much, for letting it all go so far.

His hands fell limp on his lap and he stared forward towards his closed door, his gaze wildly empty. He won’t allow himself any more of this. Papyrus hadn’t given up on him but he had… a long time ago.

This had to stop.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus was almost finished with the spaghetti when he heard shuffling behind him. He jumped slightly in surprise as he turned, seeing Sans standing there with an odd expression on his face. When he noticed Papyrus was looking at him, he quickly schooled his face to a more relaxed expression but it only made him seem terribly tired.

Maybe he hadn’t slept well?

“morning, bro.”

Papyrus gave him an encouraging smile, but it wavered slightly as he couldn’t help but notice there was something off about Sans this morning. His posture had receded back to something he was also familiar with, unfortunately.

“GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!! BREAKFAST IS ALMOST READY!!!”

Sans seemed to perk up a bit at that. So he was hungry? His brother resembled a puzzle sometimes, there were moments when he was so hard to read…when he had to look through the pieces in his mind, to look at all the details to get even just a hint. Still, the joy of seeing his newfound sweetheart made him overlook it this time. He had consulted the “Dating Book” like he had planned and was currently in the process of deciding the best way to confess his feelings for Sans. It was proving to be a challenge though. He just wanted to hold him and tell him right now, no strategically placed candles, no “10 Best Ways To Surprise Him/Her”, no fancy dinners. Just them, drowning out the rest of the world, looking into each other’s eyes and him nervously spilling it out, holding his arms out in a hopeful offering and waiting for Sans’ answer.

But Sans deserved his best efforts. He will do it properly.

As so, he decided he would try another thing from the book. Endearments. Slipping a few nice names at Sans, to express just how special he was to him. The book had said it was a great way for someone to hint that they wanted a more serious relationship. He hoped it worked.

“I’M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED I DIDN’T NEED TO WAKE YOU UP TODAY, SANS!”

Sans had sat down at the table and chuckled dryly at that. Papyrus turned around, holding the steaming pot of spaghetti and put it on the table. It had already been set by him before he had started cooking and he scooped a generous amount of spaghetti onto Sans’ plate, whose grin remained unwavering, his gaze half lidded and maintaining a relaxed front. Papyrus couldn’t shake off that Sans seemed tense anyway. He decided this might as well be a good time to try out the book suggestion. As he finished filling Sans’ plate, who picked up his fork and started wrapping the spaghetti strings around it, raising it to his mouth, he blurted it out.

“HERE YOU GO, SUGAR!”

Sans choked on his spaghetti, his eyes widened in shock. He looked at his younger brother in disbelief, cheeks glowing. Papyrus gave a shaky smile, seeing Sans so shocked making him feel self conscious. Maybe he shouldn’t have begun with that endearment? But it was in the list!

“w-what…?”

Was Papyrus trying to give him a heart attack? Well…soul attack more like it. Where in the world had that come from?? Did he get that from Mettaton??

Both of them felt so awkward that they silently agreed to brush that off: a failed attempt for Papyrus; an innocent misunderstanding for Sans. They ate in relative silence, Papyrus mentioning some of his puzzles that needed maintenance and Sans just nodding along, deep in thought. It felt like they were stepping in new territory once again, this new tension was a tad bit uncomfortable. It was stifling with an all too real awkwardness and unresolved issues. It felt like they were incomplete, once again.

Sans convinced himself that this was the way it should be. Yet, he gritted his teeth, fighting the pulse that tried to weakly manifest itself, as if crying out. This was why he had buried himself in darkness and silence. How could he have forgotten? How could he have been so selfish?!

So submersed in his self hateful thoughts he was, he didn’t see how Papyrus’ smile wavered once again, unconsciously feeling the lack of opposing energy meeting his. It seemed as if nothing had changed after all, as if there was still too much between them.

As he readied himself to head off to his puzzles, he saw Sans standing the middle of the living room, waiting, like he always did.  His soul reached out to his, trying to connect with the other but was only met with nothing. It was worrying, it was all too familiar and Papyrus was starting to catch on, was starting to understand that something had terribly changed. Or maybe it had always been there, a lurking shadow that had never vanished, that the light of their souls couldn’t reach.

“have fun, bro.”

Yet Sans sounded so normal, like nothing was wrong. His stance remained relaxed, hands shuffling inside his pockets, probably searching for a spare packet of ketchup. His eyes were looking down at the floor, like he always did. Sans never watched him leave.

Sans was pretending once again.

What had gone wrong? He thought things were starting to look up for both of them. They had been having so much fun together this past week, they had formed something truly special or, most likely, finally allowed for something special to form.

He approached Sans, who still wouldn’t look at him.

“Sans.”

The words of concern came naturally to him. This concern, this worry that he had bottled up for so long. He gently caressed the other’s cheek and Sans closed his eyes, flinching away.

Papyrus wouldn’t have it.

He coerced Sans to look at him with his other hand, raising his chin. He _needed_ Sans to look at him. He didn’t know if he could handle going back to the days of old once again, to the times where he would get forced smiles, half hearted puns and days of loneliness, of being deprived of his brother. He just couldn’t.

“Is everything alright?? You’ve been acting strange today…”

He felt Sans cringe, his grin twitching. So there was something wrong.

Papyrus closed his eyes, willing his soul to glow brighter and to seek out Sans’. He could sense a faint pulse, a faint answering glow that was quickly put out, meeting with silence and darkness once again. Sans was trying to discreetly back away from him. He _wasn’t_ looking at him.

“papyrus, we…huh…we need to have a talk. later.”

Another forced attempt to make his grin seem genuine.

“you go have fun.”

Fun? How did he expect him to have fun after such a dreadful statement. Sans had made it seem like this ‘talk’ could be a goodbye. He wished Sans would just tell him what was going on, so he could try and fix it. Whatever it was, together they could fix it. He wanted to insist, he didn’t want to leave Sans now, not after this but his eyes seemed to plead to him, to give him some time alone. And as so, Papyrus looked down, smile shaky but still there as he nodded. He would never give up though. He was The Great Papyrus and he loved Sans. No matter what was haunting Sans, no matter what this ‘talk’ would be about, _that_ would never change.

He leaned down and gave him a skeleton kiss on his cheek, not giving Sans the chance to lean away, who simply shuddered. Papyrus’s thumb fondly tilted one corner of Sans’ grin upwards and contented himself with that makeshift smile before he turned and quickly adjusted his scarf, opening the door. He looked back, seeing his brother hunched over himself, shuffling his way back to the stairs, probably to lock himself in his room once again. With one last sigh, he stepped outside and closed the front door.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t very late when Papyrus came back. When he opened the door, the house was silent. Was his brother sleeping?

He shook the snow from his shoulders, stomping his boots on the welcome mat, before he entered, closing the door behind him. There was a faint smell of grease and he sighed. Seems like Sans had indulged himself once again. Guess he already had dinner then.

“SANS?? I’M HOME!!”

“welcome home, bro.”

His looked up, seeing Sans leaning on the railing upstairs. His eyes looked sunken in and his grin was reminding him more of a grimace. Still, Papyrus was more than happy to see him and sent him a tender smile. Whatever was going on, he just knew they could get through it.

Sans shuffled his way down the stairs and Papyrus met him halfway, drawing him into a warm hug. Sans buried his face on his chest, patting him on the back. It felt slightly awkward. Papyrus knew Sans was holding back his affection…again. He sighed, leaning down and nuzzling the crook of his brother’s neck, breathing in his scent that never failed to sooth him. He wanted to hold him for a bit longer, wanted to just feel him and perhaps attempt to draw out some response from his soul one more time, after such a long day of puzzles and Sans filled thoughts. But Sans started to squirm, detaching himself and Papyrus had no choice but to let him go.

Papyrus’ gaze drooped, gloved hands rubbing against each other in anxiousness.

“SO…YOU WANTED TO TALK??”

Sans flinched, as if Papyrus had reminded him of that. He nodded solemnly and brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“huh, yea…it’s about us.”

Papyrus felt a weight drop down to the bottom of his nonexistent stomach, a simple ‘oh’ escaping him. But…this was a good thing, no? It couldn’t be that bad of a talk if the topic was them! Sans made a gesture to the couch and Papyrus took a seat, his hands instantaneously fiddling with the stray ends of his scarf.  Sans stood in front of him, hands on his pockets.

“WHAT IS IT, BROTHER??”

Sans seemed to want to begin whatever he wanted to say but every time he stopped himself, as if always rethinking his words. He ended up giving a dry chuckle, rubbing his eyes once again.

“o-oh man…how do i even begin…?”

Papyrus gave Sans an encouraging smile.

“WHY, BY THE BEGINNING, SILLY!”

Sans’ grin twitched upwards as quickly as it dropped back down.

“we’ve huh…we’ve been spending a lot of time together, lately…yesterday was…”

Sans seemed to almost choke on his own words.

“yesterday was great…”

Papyrus beamed. Yes, it certainly was!

“but…huh…i think we both have completely different points of view, about the time we spend together…a-and…and…and i’m so sorry, papyrus.”

Papyrus’ expression dropped dramatically, seeing how Sans trembled but yet persisted on still standing there, looking so distant once again. He seemed to be holding on strong but falling apart at the same time. And why in the world was he apologizing?!

“SANS, I….I don’t understand what you mean…”

Sans looked down, looking so lost and small that Papyrus was fighting down the urge to just tell him to forget about this ‘talk’ that seemed to be hurting him so much, to just come sit close to him and they could spend the rest of the evening watching MTTV, cuddling. But he knew his brother was determined to continue.

“this…this all happened one week ago…when i…well, i don’t know what _that_ was but…i never wanted you to worry. it was never my intention for any of this to happen, for leading you on so wrongly…i know you have the best intentions and that’s why this is…it’s why this needs to stop.”

Stop? What did he mean? Stars, Papyrus was so confused!! If only he knew what Sans was talking about! Was it the dates? Did he not enjoy them after all?? No, that couldn’t be it! He was saying he had liked them! Was that it? Was that the problem? That he had enjoyed the dates?

And why was he saying it needed to stop? No! He refused to go back to the way it was before! He wanted to be with Sans, couldn’t he see?

“Sans, of course I’ll worry about you. And all the time we spent together was so much fun! Why would you want to stop that?! Don’t you…d-don’t you want to spend time with me anymore?”

Sans’ eyes widened, as if Papyrus had said the most ridiculous thing ever. It was most likely that he did.

“that is the farthest thing from the truth!”

“Then why are you saying we need to stop??!”

And as if a dam had broken, Sans’ trembling was painfully obvious as his pupils shrunk more and more.

“because i’m not worth it, papyrus! because you couldn’t possibly know what goes through my mind whenever you touch me…because what you’ve been doing isn’t brotherly behavior!”

Was that it? Sans thought he didn’t know what he had been doing went beyond family bonds? Sans thought all that he had done was just him trying to strengthen their bond unknowing of his most daring actions? It was true that he had never done this before and he humbly admitted sometimes he didn’t know what he was doing, but his intentions had never once changed. He had always wanted to love Sans.

“You’re wrong, Sans. I do know what goes through your mind.” He saw Sans jump slightly at that, the confession startling him.

“n-no…you don’t!”

“And I wanted to show you that you’re worth every minute, every second of my time, so…you’re wrong about that too.”

He made a move to stand up, Sans backing away slightly in response. Papyrus wanted more than anything to just hold him in his arms and blurt all his feelings but he understood that now wouldn’t be the best time. He understood that now he had to focus on calming Sans, on wiping away all his doubts. But even he was at a loss. It was so rare to see Sans like this. Like he was ready to burst.

“And…a-and I know what I’ve been doing wasn’t brotherly behavior. I…I just wanted you to love yourself, Sans. That’s all.”

Sans seemed to slump in disbelief, looking up at Papyrus who was now standing up. His tiny pupils searched his brother’s face, knowing that Papyrus was always sincere but not believing it anyway.

“w-what? you…you knew?” Sans let out a humorless chuckle. “papyrus, you…you didn’t need to do that. no, you _shouldn’t_ have done that! everything was fine! the last thing i needed was your _pity_!”

Sans immediately covered his mouth, not believing himself. He heard Papyrus gasp above him, the sound sounding hitched and pained. Oh stars, what was wrong with him, saying something like that?? He knew his brother didn’t pity him! This was just his ugly, worthless self twisting up his words, making him feel angry and deceived even though his brother had always been nothing but truthful in everything he had done. It wasn’t his brother’s fault!

Papyrus brought his hands to his chest, as if shielding himself, wincing at Sans’ words. He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt but he knew those were words born out of frustration and self hatred.

“No, Sans! Everything _was not_   fine! I…I just did what I thought was best…and I would do it all over again. I will keep doing it, if you’ll let me…”

Papyrus looked to the side for a moment, fumbling with his hands, before he looked at Sans once again, whose eyes followed his every movement.

“I…I saw you. Once.” Sans looked at him in confusion, hands visibly tightening inside his pockets. “In your room.”

Sans’ pupils vanished, leaving two empty looking dark sockets.

“I know I don’t know as much as you about these things…but…I do know you shouldn’t be so miserable…”

Papyrus’ words started to sound muffled. The corners of his vision started being engulfed by slow tendrils of darkness as his thoughts were filled with all those lonely, ugly nights. Papyrus…had seen that?

**_filthy, disgusting wretch._ **

**_you have no shame, do you?_ **

**_you don’t deserve to even share the same air with him._ **

**_he would be better off without your worthless self._ **

**_he saw you._ **

That last thought stuck to him and repeated itself, reverberating inside his mind almost like a scream. He couldn’t possibly forgive himself.

“…Sans?”

Sans looked up at him, his empty eye sockets wide in mortification and Papyrus was starting to think that maybe he could have approached the subject in another way. This was all so difficult and seeing his Sans like this, he didn’t know what to do. He only knew how to be honest and he just spilled everything, not being able to handle this tension, this dreadful mood that had set between them.

“i’m…i’m so sorry, papyrus. i never meant for any of this…i…please forgive me…”

Papyrus tried reaching out to Sans but his brother flinched away, looking at his hands as something that couldn’t be touched.

“Sans, please. There’s nothing to forgive. Let’s just…sit down for a bit and talk this over, yes?”

But Sans didn’t seem to be listening anymore. His soul had started to glow, making the house’s warm interior slightly colder as it flickered in distress. The darkness and silence had gone to be replaced with something much worse: all that was hidden and bottled up, all that had been repressed and silenced. It was overwhelming.

He had to get out of here.

“i’m sorry.” It seemed to be the only thing he could say for now.

And with that he rushed towards the door. Papyrus quickly caught on his intentions and tried to stop him, following him, arms reaching out. Sans opened the front door, not once looking back.

“Sans, where are you going?? SANS, WAIT! I LOVE Y-“

*SLAM!*

When Papyrus opened the door immediately after, Sans was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the drastic turn but I wanted to convey the notion that has always been present in this story. Sans is not okay. He has never been okay. And it's finally time to adress that. Do not worry though, Papyrus is there for him, as always (◡﹏◡✿)
> 
> (I feel like Papyrus is the real Prince Charming lawl)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also painful to write but I sure think it was definitely worth it! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 
> 
> Shoutout to Lugia731D and their absolutely AMAZING [drawing](http://lugia731d.deviantart.com/art/Breaking-Point-588260882) for this fic. Thank you once again, dearie (●´ω｀●)  
> Please enjoy the tenth chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaKErmO1f9s) of this chapter.)

The wind howled viciously, bringing snow and the sharp bite of the cold. The snowstorm was starting to get intense and everyone was safe inside their homes. Not a single soul was outside. Well, that proved to not be the truth. Treading the high snow, the crunch of boots reverberated in the woods as a lone tall skeleton braved the harsh weather. The bright orange glow of his soul guided his way as the magic induced daytime started to dim, giving way to nighttime.

Papyrus’ arms enveloped his torso tighter as he rubbed his sides. His scarf waved wildly behind him as he took a few more steps forward, his eyes wide, searching and hoping, only to droop in sadness and increasing worry as he was met with nothing but more snow and trees.

Oh stars, where could he be?

Shivering slightly, he continued walking forward. He had already checked the more obvious places where Sans could be and it had been fruitless. Disheartened, he had ventured deeper into Snowdin but that was proving to bear no results either. For every corner he turned, he hoped to catch a glance of blue. He hoped to find his brother somewhere, alone and lost. He still hoped. He brought his gloved hands to cup the sides of his mouth, bellowing.

“SAAAANS!!”

He lost count on how many times he had called for him in the middle of nothingness. The silence that answered him was deafening.

He spotted a lone tree stump and decided to take a small break. He didn’t want to admit it but the worry and creeping fear were starting to make his knees buckle. He needed to sit down for a bit.

He sat down on the stump and rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his cheeks for warmth as he looked around some more.

“Oh, Sans…” He breathed, voice trembling. “Where could you be?”

He wished he could have prevented this. He knew he could have done something to stop Sans! If only he had been quicker, if only…!

**_I’m so worried._ **

His brother had left in such distress. Going outside in this storm, near nightfall and with his mind in such disarray was making Papyrus imagine all the possible outcomes of Sans being alone. And they weren’t good.

He couldn’t help but feel like this was partly his fault. He shouldn’t have said that, he knew! But he had just been so confused…he had felt like Sans was slipping right through his fingers. And, well, now that just became a reality.

He needed to find him. He needed to make things right.

He sighed, willing his legs to carry him as he stood up and resumed walking. He tried to take his mind off of the unforgiving weather and the hidden perils of the Underground. He tried to forget about Sans’ 1 HP.

He contained his brimming tears and cupped his mouth once again, his bellowing calls echoing across Snowdin.

 

* * *

 

Sans’ empty pupil less sockets stared at the calm waters of Waterfall, their blue mesmerizing shimmer reflecting on his face. His hands twitched slightly inside his pockets as he slowly lowered himself to the floor, removing his slippers and socks and dipping his feet on the water. He moved his legs halfheartedly, head still hanging down. Beside him, a lone echo flower’s petals shifted slightly.

**_i’m the lowest of the low._ **

Leaving his brother like that. That hadn’t been very rational on his part. But then again, when was he rational when Papyrus was around? He stole a glance at his chest, bringing a hand to it to rub the quick flickering glow of his soul muffled by his white turtleneck. It hurt. It felt like he was crumbling to tiny, microscopic pieces, sharp pieces that stung his very being and kept forcing his soul to cry out weakly. The pulse was pounding his skull, making his thoughts hazy.

He just wanted to drop down and sleep forever.

He wanted to sleep himself out of existence.

**_“I saw you. Once.”_ **

He closed his eyes. His whole being was covered in shame and guilt. This had all been his fault. If only he could have stopped himself, if only he could have stayed his hand and body, his overwhelming, disgusting desires. If only he could have retained a shred of innocence and protected his brother’s.

But it was too late for that now. And it was all his fault.

**_“I do know you shouldn’t be so miserable…”_ **

No, he deserved to be as miserable as possible. Papyrus was still too innocent and good hearted to see just what a pathetic, disgusting, self indulgent wretch his brother was. And to have him _willingly_ wooing said wretch out of worry and pure selflessness? That was almost laughable.

His grin twitched. He didn’t know if he had the courage to return home tonight. He was too much of a coward to face Papyrus so soon, who would just fret and nag in that fond tone, not once blaming him of anything. Who would just offer him some of his spaghetti and another sleepless night in his room, acting on his sins and making him hate himself more and more. Who would just continue on as if there was nothing wrong in the way Sans felt, with his hugs and skeleton kisses and fleeting touches that were just pure blissful torture.

He would stay a while longer. He would come back. Eventually.

What he liked about the water in Waterfall was that it glowed so brightly that it was impossible to see a reflection in it. Sans was ever grateful to not be confronted with his worthless self looking back at him, showing him all that he despised. He remembered spending a lot of time near this spot, just him.

Just him, the lone echo flower and the wooden bench in the corner. It was a secluded spot, not reachable unless you used the seed bridges. It had been easy to become attached to it. There was just something about it that told him it was alright to be here, that he was welcome, that he wouldn’t be judged. That he could mope and sit and hide his exhausted face all he wanted. Sometimes he would have whole conversations with the echo flower and every time he came back, the remains of it would be whispered to him, reminding him just why he was coming back.

He leaned against the flower, empty sockets half lidded as the soft petals brushed the top of his skull.

**_“i’m giving up.”_ **

The sound of his own voice was always strange to hear but not because of how utterly defeated it sounded. It was because it was just there, lost and drifting, making him doubt if it was ever there. He used his magic to speak- something that he had never learned to do, it was just natural- as he couldn’t open his permanent grin with the flexibility needed to form words, unlike his brother. He only opened his mouth to eat, really.

Perhaps that was why his voice always sounded so eerie and out of place. It wasn’t really something real; it was just something he conjured. He would wonder why he was the only one who felt that way about it though. Papyrus never really questioned it and had even complimented it once, sleepily, as he drifted off mumbling about how he made a really good ‘Fluffy Bunny’ voice.

Papyrus’ slightly hurt expression flashed through his mind and he winced. Fresh memories always came unbidden, especially if they were unpleasant. He wished he could turn back time and stop any of this from ever happening, stop himself from ever knowing what it was like to be loved by Papyrus.

Heh, that was _so_ ironic. Him wanting to turn back time. When was he going to learn that things would never go like he wants them to? That he was completely powerless over it all. That he was just one more insignificant peon in all of this.

The only thing he could do was just sit and pity himself. And he was the one that had accused Papyrus of doing so. Pathetic. His brother really was better off without him.

Sans sighed, little puffs of air coming out of his nose hole as he mumbled.

“i want everything to begin again.”

He never really imagined he would ever say this but he did it anyway. He had become numb to it all. When the inner mysteries of the world stopped being mysteries, it all just eventually became trivial and common. Nothing ever surprised him anymore.

He stood up, putting his socks and slippers back on. His fingers lingered on the echo flower’s petals before leaving altogether. The flower bounced on its stalk slightly from it and the familiar eerie murmur echoed around it.

**_“…begin again.”_ **

**_“. . . be. . . gin. . .again.”_ **

Sans headed off to the only place he could think of right now.

 

* * *

 

Grillby was in the middle of polishing another glass when he heard the door open, bell chiming and announcing the presence of a customer. The whole diner was empty besides him and the newcomer. Everyone was in their homes. Nobody would come out in this weather.

Yet he wasn’t surprised when he saw Sans closing the door, snow on his shoulders, standing at the entrance and trying not to look so small. Hands inside his pockets, he shuffled his way to the counter and took a seat on his usual stool. Even as Grillby gazed into the empty eye sockets, Sans’ grin attempted to twitch upward.

“hey, grillbz.”

His voice sounded strained and tired. Not like his usual lazy drawl and underlying mischievousness. Still, Grillby inclined his head in greeting, adjusting his dark glasses before he gestured to the stack of menus near Sans, asking if he would be having anything. His establishment was closed at this time but he had always been open to exceptions.

Sans rested his right elbow on the counter and leaned his face on his fist, empty gaze not exactly the most expressive.

“i’ll just have a bottle of ketchup.”

Grillby nodded, leaning down, reaching the inner counter and taking a bottle from his already extensive resupply of ketchup, always keeping his best customer in mind. He put it on the counter in front of Sans wordlessly and resumed polishing his glass. The muffled howling of the wind outside and Grillby’s crackling flames were the only sounds to be heard inside the diner.

“thanks, grillbz.”

Grillby knew Sans long enough to know he wasn’t just being thanked for the ketchup. He only nodded once again remained silent, ever the patient presence in the background. Sans spent a good amount of time saying nothing; just sipping on his ketchup and staring blankly ahead. His eyes still hadn’t regained his tiny pupils. It made for quite an unsettling appearance but this wasn’t the first time Grillby had seen him like this.

It was almost always for the same old reason too.

It only took a few minutes longer this time before Sans dropped his empty bottle of ketchup, shoulders slumping and hands raising to hide his face. His body’s trembling was slightly noticeable. Grillby let him stay like that for a while, gave him his much needed moment to breathe and his flames softened a bit, letting Sans’ soul cool down the place.

When the silence started to become uncomfortable, Grillby reached out. His gloved hands touched Sans’ gently but firmly and moved them away from his face. Sans didn’t resist. He never did.

This was the most shameful he had ever seen him.

“i messed up, grillbz.” Sans’ whole expression seemed to drop, legs dangling idly on his stool. “i _messed_ up bad.”

Grillby only straightened his posture as he had been leaning down to meet Sans’ eye level. His flames crackled encouragingly.

Sans blinked, looking down at his hands as he chuckled emptily.

“sometimes i wonder how you do it…” Grillby tilted his head in question. “standing there all cool (he he) and not bothered by anything. must be nice.”

An almost unnoticeable crease between Grillby’s dark glasses denounced his frown as he slowly shook his head. Sans shrugged, hand extending wordlessly on the counter and being handed another bottle of ketchup. He sipped on that one too, emptying it halfway before he spoke once again, voice low and almost mournful.

“…have you ever felt like one day you will just disappear…and nothing would change?” Sans looked up then and Grillby adjusted his dark glasses, slowly shaking his head once again. His grin twitched.

“no. you haven’t.” A sigh. “i’m sorry. i’m babbling nonsense again. don’t mind me.”

He continued sipping on his ketchup, the silence stretching between them. A puff of smoke drifted from Grillby’s flames, the best he could do to show a sigh, and pulled a spare stool from behind the counter, taking a seat. He put the glass he was polishing next to the others neatly and flung his white towel on his shoulder, crossing his hands on the counter in an expectant stance. Sans kept looking down, fingers squeezing the almost empty bottle absentmindedly. His soul was still flickering weakly but frantically. Grillby was almost impressed. It has been sometime since he has caught any sign of life from Sans, something that even he didn’t understand how it was possible.

Sans seemed to slump further into himself, as if wanting to disappear into his large hoodie jacket. The fur from his hood grazed his cheeks and his hands were going back into the sleeves. Grillby couldn’t really imagine how it could be to feel so outstandingly miserable yet always having a grin on his face. No matter what.

“i’m a worthless piece of shit, grillbz.” Grillby remained silent, simply staring. Yet there was something in the way his flames crackled slightly louder that told Sans to mind his language. Sans’ grin became apologetic before leaning in, raising his arms above his head and fingers interlaced on the back of his skull, eyes still looking down.

“i don’t deserve him. i’m always in his way, always trailing behind him, hoping for more… always wanting more.” Sans gave a dry chuckle, finishing his second ketchup bottle. “he would be better off without me.”

_“No. That’s just you saying that, isn’t it?”_

Sans blinked, raising his head and looking up at Grillby, whose flames still crackled gently. It was rare to hear the bartender’s voice and when he did speak it gave off a feeling of secrecy and slight intimacy as the words only echoed inside the mind of whoever he wanted to listen to them. Like Sans, he used magic, not being able to form words physically.

He took the empty bottle of ketchup and threw it in the trash bin nearby. Grillby looked back at him impassively, two fingers tapping on the counter.

_“You both seemed to be happy the day before. What changed?”_

Sans winced at the pleasant memories. He shoved his hands back into his pockets.

“nothing changed, grillbz. that’s just it. nothing is ever supposed to change.” His dark eye sockets narrowed. “none of that should have happened. papyrus doesn’t…we both failed to read each other…”

Sans sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes. Grillby shifted slightly.

_“Oh? You two seemed pretty sure of your intentions, to me. Well…your brother seemed more obvious about it.”_

Sans shook his head.

“papyrus was doing it out of the goodness of his soul. he just wanted me to be happy, for a change. he he…too bad i’m too disgusting for that to work.”

Grillby’s flames crackled again, another puff of smoke drifting out. He spotted a less polished glass near the others and took that one out, fixing it. His dark glasses reflected Sans’ slumped form.

 _“You know, he could have fooled me. There was a certain selfish enthusiasm when he came to me not too long ago, asking me to teach him a few dance steps.”_ Sans frowned.

Grillby shrugged.

_“He wanted to impress you.”_

Tiny pinpricks appeared on the dark eye sockets for a second before vanishing again. Sans’ grin tilted down as he regarded Grillby with a careful gaze.

“i had wondered…guess that was why he was all buddy buddy with you.” Grilby’s flames crackled in amusement. “…he doesn’t need to impress me.”

_“He still made an effort to though. Are you going to overlook that?”_

Sans’ frown deepened, narrowing his eyes.

“i already told you why-“

_“It just seems like you aren’t so worthless after all, if you’re of any worth to him.”_

Sans fell speechless. This has been the most he has ever heard from Grillby. By his tone, he almost seemed bothered.

Grillby inspected the glass in his hands, looking for any dirty spots. Pleased, his flames crackled in satisfaction before he put it down next to the others. He rested his arms on the counter once again, his stance relaxed as it had always been. It was always hard to tell but his face seemed to soften.

_“He came here not too long before you arrived, barging in actually. Kept asking me if I had seen you or if you had been here. He seemed distressed.”_

Sans winced, looking down in shame. If Grillby had a mouth, he would have smiled.

_“You sell yourself short, Sans. And you should have more faith in your brother.”_

Sans’ grin twitched in uncertainty, hands moving slightly inside his pockets. There was something in this that was familiar and as so, a comfort.

“he he, sell myself _short_. good one, grillbz.”

The crackling of Grillby’s flames ceased for one second, stilling completely before yet another puff of smoke –this one a little bigger- drifted off. If this was Sans’ way to cope, he would bear with it. He didn’t really have nothing against Sans’ kind of humor. It was charming…when well-timed. And really, if he still found it in himself to joke about it, there was still hope.

“…you say he was distressed?”

Grillby nodded, watching Sans cringe. His whole posture screamed defeat as he sighed.

“i’m such a coward, grillbz. how will i look him in the eye after…”

His words drifted off, soul flickering restlessly. Grillby took a handful of ketchup packets and slid them on the counter. He always did that before Sans left.

_“I believe cowards eventually choose the best of times to gain courage.”_

Sans chuckled, taking the packets and wordlessly shoving them inside his pockets. He nodded, resigned. He couldn’t really keep doing this anymore. Hiding from his own brother. Hiding from himself.

He already knew this had been his cue to leave.

He slid off the stool and headed towards the front door. Grillby accompanied him, opening the door for him. Sans zipped up his hoodie jacket and huddled close to the fur grazing his cheeks as the snowstorm remained intense outside.

He looked up at Grillby, dark eye sockets empty. The gaze of someone who didn’t have anything to lose.

“later, grillbz.”

Grillby only inclined his head in a farewell, calmly watching him leave. He closed the door and only turned away when he saw Sans just…disappear.

 

* * *

 

As he arrived home using his ‘shortcut’, he noticed that everything was dark and silent. Sans shook off the uneasiness he felt at the familiar surroundings set in such a mood. He looked around, hoping -and at the same time not- to see Papyrus somewhere, being loud and busy.

“…paps?”

No answer. Sans frowned slightly, shuffling his way to the couch and sitting down. He tore at a ketchup packet and nervously sipped at its content, pupil less eyes shifting often towards the front door. He would wait. For now, the howling wind whistled from the breaches of the windows and shook their structure –the only sounds to be heard.

He sat there for a good while, perhaps almost half an hour, just him and his emptied mind. His gaze was now set anxiously on the entrance of their home. His foot tapped on the floor.

The choking feeling of worry and guilt threatened to hurl him outside and search every single corner of the Underground. If something had happened to Papyrus…

The clicking sound of the door opening had him stiffening, eyes wide as he didn’t dare move. The door was opened with a bit too much strength, the strong wind knocking it against the wall. Papyrus stepped in, clutching his scarf close to his face and shaking the snow off his shoulders. Sans had the chance to see how absolutely tired his brother seemed, how his gentle gaze was drooped with a lingering sadness that just didn’t belong, before Papyrus spotted him on the couch.

“SANS!!”

He shut the door with haste and made his way towards him with hurried steps. Sans stood up and started to tremble as he gulped, wanting to close his eyes and just hide again. He really didn’t want to face Papyrus. He didn’t want to face the pure relief that had overcome his brother’s expression.

“h-hey…” He stuttered out before he was pulled into a tight and warm embrace. Papyrus’ long arms enveloped him and clung to him. Sans noticed a slight trembling coming from him too. He was quick to return the hug. He felt Papyrus nuzzle his neck and he sighed shakily, looking up at the ceiling.

Papyrus raised his head then, taking hold of his cheeks and his eyes searched him, making sure he was alright. Papyrus exhaled in relief, a small smile forming.

“Oh, Sans, I was so worried!”

Sans nodded, one of his hands raising to meet Papyrus’.

“i know, bro. i…i’m so sorry.”

Papyrus shook his head, leaning in and resting his forehead against Sans’.

“Stop saying that, please! There’s nothing for you to apologize for!”

Sans closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Papyrus’ soul starting to glow against his. The all too familiar warmth cradled his flickering cold. Stars, he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed this. He needed Papyrus.

He felt Papyrus’ thumb trace the edge of his eye socket. The tender familiar caress had his eyes crinkling in fondness, his other hand raising to do the same to Papyrus.

Papyrus slumped, smile widening slightly.

“I’m just so happy to see you’re alright.” He choked out, that usually loud, boisterous voice reduced to a subdued, tired tone. Sans nodded. Slowly, his pupils started to reform.

“s-same…i-i know you don’t want to hear it but…i really am sorry, paps. i…i shouldn’t have…”

Papyrus straightened a bit, looking down at Sans looking so meek and regretful. Somewhere in the middle of his search he had thought of giving his older brother a mighty scolding for making him go through such a situation. But, well, that thought had been thrown out of the window as quickly as it came.

“Just…just promise me you won’t scare me like that again. This was unbecoming of us…”

Sans could only nod. He wasn’t a guy to make promises but for Papyrus he would always make an exception.

They stayed like that for a while, in each other’s arms and surrounded by the lulling glows of their souls, reunited once again.

“…i’m sorry.”

“I love you.”

They both jumped slightly as they broke the silence at the same time. Sans’ eyes had widened, feeling Papyrus tense as much as he. Had he heard it right? No, he couldn’t possibly…

As if reading his incredulous mind, Papyrus’ nervous hands raised his chin. Sans’ pupils became larger, looking into the other’s gaze.

“…w-what?”

Papyrus’ other hand that was still holding Sans’ cheek caressed it tenderly. In that moment, Papyrus’ soul gave off a strong beat and he seemed surer than ever.

“I love you, Sans. With all my soul and being.” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “I want to be with you.”

Sans blinked. The words sounded so foreign, something that he had not even allowed himself to fantasize about... yet this was reality, he was sure of at least that. Was it true then?

“a-are you sure you…?”

**_you don’t want to be with me. that’s not how it’s supposed to work. i don’t deserve it._ **

And although he didn’t deserve it, it was happening anyway. Papyrus seemed to be nervous again, looking at him expectantly.

“I…I had planned to tell you at maybe our third date but…it couldn’t wait. I love you.” Papyrus looked to the side then, clearing his throat. “Do you…huh…perhaps feel the same?”

Sans crumbled then, grin tilting up as he chuckled. He nodded, almost too eagerly, and flung his arms around Papyrus’ neck, pulling him ever closer. A few words managed to escape him:

“stars, i do. i love you so much…”

-before he was pulled into a loving skeleton kiss. His flickering soul was answered by Papyrus’ ecstatic flow. Their energies mixed and allowed their true feelings to show to each other. Papyrus was shown the guilt, self hatred and absolute devotion dedicated to him and Sans was shown the endless trust and pure love in all its forms. It was indescribable.

They will stay together. It only made sense.

As they parted, Papyrus gave him one last skeleton kiss, this one short and sweet and Sans was about ready to melt into it. Sans nudged him, gesturing towards the couch.

“how about we go watch some mttv show? today’s tuesday.”

Papyrus’ whole expression lightened up, loving gaze not replaced but muffled with excitement.

The creeping feeling of self indulgence and the fear that Papyrus still didn’t quite know what he was doing was still there. But for now, Sans decided he would trust the words that had been spoken louder than the silence and the glows that had shined brighter than the darkness.

Perhaps Grillby had been right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have also created a [tumblr](http://sizzlin-teapot.tumblr.com/) ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just so amazed and happy that you all like this fanfiction of mine, I never expected it to be so loved, truly! Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart! Please enjoy the eleventh chapter! <3
> 
> (I might as well just listen to this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48VSP-atSeI) for the remaining chapters. It does settle the mood quite well :3 )
> 
> All my love to the wonderful Blazestreakerz17 and YaoiAddiction for creating such amazing and cute fanart: [here](http://blazestreakerz117.tumblr.com/post/138781957836/i-drew-this-art-cover-from-a-fanfiction) and [here](http://yaoiaddictionstar.tumblr.com/post/138779086660/gift-for-the-lovely-writer-for-making-an-angsty). Please give them some love as well ★~(◠ω◕✿)
> 
> Thank you so much once again, dearies!

It was morning and the rays of magic fabricated daylight shone down through the windows, highlighting the two skeletons sleeping peacefully in the couch, snuggled close together. Their poses weren’t the most comfortable, having fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of their TV watching session and their legs were intertwined. Sans was laying on top of Papyrus, arms clinging to his torso tightly, unconsciously afraid of ever having to let go once again. Papyrus had an arm flung across his face, covering his closed eyes and mouth open in mildly loud snores. His other arm rested loosely around Sans’ back, his hand grazing the other’s lower back. One of his boots had fallen off his foot and his uncovered toes wiggled now and then in his sleep. He had long outgrown the length of their couch and his legs folded at the knees, dangling on the armrest.

With the arrival of daytime, Papyrus was the first to stir, a faint ‘nyeh’ escaping him. He scrunched his eyes, raising his arm away from his face and slowly opened them, blinking. His spine felt weird. He stayed still for a bit, taking in the soreness of his body and concluded that falling asleep on the couch wasn’t one of the best ideas.

He felt movement on top of his chest and he raised his head from the other armrest, looking down at Sans in surprise before the events of yesterday came flooding back. He smiled fondly, hand moving to tentatively caress the top of his brother’s skull. He heard Sans making a small noise, his head moving slightly in a small nuzzle. His grin looked a good kind of neutral and his face was relaxed once again. He looked calm.

Papyrus’ cheekbones were tinted a faint orange, feeling absolutely satisfied with the vision of Sans in his arms, safe and sound. The blissful glee and anticipation that filled him made him picture all the possible things they could do together and his blush deepened as he recalled some of the last pages of the ‘Dating Book’. He wouldn’t mess it up this time. He was going to love Sans properly this time. It only made sense that The Great Papyrus would also be the greatest of lovers, after all!

He stayed there for a while, fingertips still caressing his brother’s skull in fleeting brushes and he tried to shift his position, trying to make himself more comfortable. He realized his spine felt weird because he had it twisted at an awkward angle to accommodate Sans and now he was paying the price. Given the circumstances, he couldn’t feel too bummed about it. Sans was also in an odd position. His lower half was twisting sideways, both of his legs wrapped around Papyrus’ thigh. His slippers had fallen off too, leaving his sock covered feet exposed. Scandalous!

Papyrus traced the soft lines of his brother’s face, fingers tugging gently at the corner of his grin and felt Sans squeeze him in response. Papyrus could get used to this kind of lollygagging if he could do it with Sans. He found in himself that he didn’t mind it one bit. The beats inside him reverberated in agreement, assuring once more just how right this felt. Whenever he looked at Sans, this is how he felt.

**_“i love you so much…”_ **

It was almost ridiculous how those words had hit him in all the right ways, making him almost stumble. He had never felt so happy. He had had his suspicions but hearing Sans saying it out loud was definitely something else altogether. The words were like honey, sweet and smooth and just about everything that he needed. Having his brother being so open, no pretending, no downturn of his grin whenever he thought Papyrus wasn’t looking, made him realize just how long he had been waiting for it to happen. He was more than ready for this.

He found himself not looking forward to return to his puzzles but to the moment Sans opened his eyes, so he could have his ‘good morning’. He shifted a little again and Sans stirred, his hold around Papyrus’ torso loosening a bit. He hummed and his grin twitched, eyes fluttering as he started to wake up. Papyrus’ smile widened, fingers stilling their caresses as he watched the way Sans always seemed too lazy to even open his eyes; taking his time even in that. The legs wrapped around his thigh stretched slowly and bones popped. Papyrus had the grace to look away, his blush an inexplicable bright and blatant orange by now. The way Sans moved, so slow and languid, brought out a foreign sensation within him that now he felt he could explore a little more.

Sans raised his head, opening his eyes and his tiny pupils formed. There was a moment of silence as he also took in the events of yesterday and his arms slowly untangled from their hold on Papyrus to tentatively rest one hand on his chest, raising himself up. His grin seemed almost meek but his eyes were still hazy with sleep.

“morning, bro.”

There it was.

Papyrus wrapped his arm around Sans, tugging him closer. He propped himself up on the armrest, now sitting up a bit more comfortably. He leaned down and gave him a small skeleton kiss, the corners of his smile twitching as he saw Sans still sputter even now, his hands trembling slightly and fidgeting before settling on holding Papyrus’ cheeks, fingers curling hesitatingly in tiny caresses. As they parted, Papyrus was more than satisfied to see the matching blue glow on Sans’ face.

“GOOD MORNING, SANS!!”

Sans’ grin tilted upwards, his gaze softening and one of his hands slid down Papyrus’ cheek.

“you really serious with this…?”

Papyrus nodded, his expression sobering up a bit –well, he tried, but he felt too happy to hide it. He bumped their foreheads together playfully.

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS SERIOUS!”

Sans let out a chuckle, eyes darting towards Papyrus’ mouth. Papyrus understood that all too well and kissed Sans once again, this time lingering a bit longer. This was starting to become one of their best mornings. The shadows of the past were finally backing away to give room to the bright light of their future. They will be brilliant together.

Detaching himself from the kiss, Papyrus winced as Sans slipped down a bit and pressed some of his weight on his sore spine. Noticing this, Sans was quick to move, finally realizing that they spent the whole night like this. He ignored the increasing cold on his cheeks and gave Papyrus an apologetic glance.

“you alright there, bro?”

Papyrus nodded, propping himself up and rubbing his back.

“I’M ALRIGHT!! …SLEEPING ON THE COUCH JUST DID A NUMBER ON MY BONES, THAT’S ALL!”

It made sense. Their couch was comfortable but it wasn’t exactly sleeping material either. He felt a little sore himself but had been greatly cushioned by Papyrus’ body and with him sleeping basically anywhere, he was used to it by now. As he didn’t like seeing Papyrus uncomfortable, he didn’t even think about it when he gently brushed Papyrus’ hand away and replaced it with his, fingers kneading the sore ridges tenderly. He had done this to himself before to alleviate his own back pains sometimes and thought nothing of the way Papyrus’ breath hitched, long legs shifting and closing in a little around him. He pressed and caressed, shamefully taking in the feeling of finally touching Papyrus’ body, even if his motives had been relatively innocent. It wasn’t until he heard a noise that he never imagined he would ever hear from Papyrus that he realized just what exactly he was doing, hands stilling.

“WOWIE!! THAT IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME FEEL BETTER!!!”

Papyrus’ expression seemed much more significantly relaxed, a sigh of relief accompanying his words before he looked down at Sans’ flushing face, tilting his head.

“WHY DID YOU STOP???”

Sans’ eyes widened, wanting to just go hide in the deepest hole as he realized that interacting with his brother was going to be even worse now. The fact that he was taking such liberties with Papyrus’ body, touching him so freely, and his brother wasn’t minding it and actually _liking_ it…he still couldn’t believe this was reality and not just one of his twisted up dreams influenced by his love struck self. He had never even dared of fantasizing about enjoying such intimacy with Papyrus, preferring to just pour it all out in monthly nights of suppressed desire and misery. This kind of feeling, this type of companionship…he could almost say they were a couple.

And it was a scary thought. He had wished for this for so long. But he was also scared of it, of tying himself to someone that deeply. Even if that someone was his beloved Papyrus.

And stars, the face he had made when he asked why he stopped: eyes half lidded and smile resembling more of a relaxed smirk. It was easy to twist that up into something physical, even if nothing in Papyrus was hinting at such. He just seemed curious and happy.

He needed to get off him if he wanted to retain his sanity while also not doing anything stupid.

“huh, sorry, paps.” He said, looking down and making a move to get off, blush deepening as he also noticed Papyrus’ legs had been almost wrapped around his waist. Papyrus’ gaze followed him, eyebrow raised.

Sans put on his slippers and shoved his hands inside his pockets, feeling grateful that the ketchup packets were still there.

“perhaps you should go lay down on your bed for a bit. sorry for making you so _bone-weary_.” Heh, that one was lame.

Papyrus still shot him one of his subdued dirty looks for it, rolling his eyes. His smile twitched. He sat up, straightening fully and reached for Sans’ arms, tugging him closer.

“NONSENSE, SANS!! I HAVE NO TIME TO BE LAZYING ABOUT IN BED!!! BESIDES…”

He tugged at Sans’ hands, coercing them out of their pockets. He joined them together and gave a skeleton kiss on the knuckles –he had seen this in the book and it was becoming one of his favorite ‘moves’!- smiling brightly and gaze gentle with appreciation.

“YOU DID MAKE IT A BIT BETTER!”

Stars above, when did his brother gain all this genuine charm? Sans had nothing to say, he just wanted to fall back into his arms! He had a way of turning his honesty into something so innocently romantic and it was taking every fiber of Sans’ being to not act out like a fool in love. Well…more of a fool in love, that is.

“h-huh…a-awesome, bro.”

Papyrus let go of his hands and Sans took a step back as he stood up, tall form looming over him.  He put his hands on his hips and the familiarity of it made Sans’ grin widen.

“WELL THEN!! ARE YOU HUNGRY, SANS??”

Sans chuckled, shrugging. He sure could get a bite to eat. It’s been some time and he had only consumed ketchup. He could survive on that but it wasn’t exactly ‘magic healthy’.

“sure. i could eat something.”

Papyrus seemed more than satisfied with that answer and leaned down, one more skeleton kiss to the top of his skull as he then headed off to the kitchen.

Sans’ pupils slowly vanished. His hand twitched, fingers unconsciously making a grabbing motion at the thin air.

Stars save him.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡° )
> 
>  
> 
> My apologies for it being so short but as I was writing it, I just felt this was the perfect note to end it. This is more of an introduction chapter, similar to the first one, but to a completely different stage of their relationship (*cough cough*). I still want to create something special, so bear with me and my slowness ┐(‘～`；)┌
> 
> Time to flip through the last pages of the 'Dating Book' (´･ω･`)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent the whole day in my pajamas writing this. I regret nothing. (´ー｀) Please enjoy the twelfth chapter! <3

The water bubbled up, boiling and Papyrus hummed one of his random little tunes as he stirred the spaghetti, wooden spoon making hollow thuds every now and then as he scraped the bottom of the pot. The wonderful smell of it, that always brought up the nicest memories, made his smile widen. He had improved significantly since Undyne gave him his first lesson and had added a few perks of his own. The corner of his eyes crinkled, taking a pinch of the chopped up tiny bits of herbs that he had stored in a neat, simple jar and sprinkled them _gently_ over the boiling spaghetti. It had been a gamble of his but Sans had seemed to genuinely like it so he guessed this one was a success and so had to stay in his personal recipe. He didn’t know when it had started but his love for cooking had always been a second companion in his life. Had a bad day? Make spaghetti! Puzzle not satisfying enough? Make spaghetti! Sans was feeling down? Make spaghetti!

It didn’t even matter that spaghetti was basically all he knew how to cook, he still had fun while doing it and that’s what really mattered. And his improvement gave him motivation to keep going; assurance that he was in fact great. In fact, he had a lesson scheduled with Undyne today. Perhaps he would store some of this batch and bring it to her. It would be nice to know her opinion. Behind him he could hear their TV turning on and Sans’ sigh as he probably plopped down on the couch again, waiting for the food to be ready. Papyrus’ smile softened, soul glowing gently as he enjoyed the peaceful ambience that had settled in their house, a harmonious coexistence that was slowly reforming as both of them found their places with each other.  He let the spaghetti boil, one of his hands raising to brush against his mouth and his fingers reflexively flinched back as a pleasant blue and orange spark flew.  He had read it in the book but, golly, he still couldn’t believe how good kissing felt. He didn’t have a stomach to feel ‘butterflies’ in it but his soul made up for that with the fluttering and skipping of its beats. He could feel warmth on his cheeks again as he rubbed the back of his spine, still sore, but the lingering feeling of Sans’ touch had also made it tingly. His fingers had been almost skilled with the way they searched for the most sensitive spots, pressing with just the right amount of force to then caress the strained bone tenderly, alleviating the stress. It made him…wonder.

Really, although he had never had the curiosity before –mainly because he never felt the need to- the sensations he had felt in that one moment weren’t exactly a total stranger to him. It had felt good, really good, and he wouldn’t mind feeling it again. In fact, it had been too short lived and he wished Sans had kept going, kept touching, kept making him feel good.

Nevertheless, he would never demand anything from Sans and there had been a silent agreement between them that they would keep their own paces. This was all too new and rather impulsive but it was genuine and only good things could come out of it, if they put their minds to it as well.

Even so, he just felt appreciation over Sans’ thoughtful and kind act to try and make him feel better. There had never been a balance between them: Sans sacrificed himself too much, always zealing for his happiness and never searching for his own; instead he contented himself with simple and self indulgent pleasures to ignore that unhappiness and unfulfillment. But now they were treading different grounds and Sans was testing them, letting himself pursue some of his happiness for once and that was what Papyrus had always wanted. It was the cherry on top of the milkshake that they could both share that happiness as well. It was only a matter of patience and mutual understanding.

Still, he made the mental note to encourage Sans a little more next time he touched him. If they were going to do this, they needed to get rid of these ‘bounds’ that had been drawn between them. He needed to be more vocal and Sans needed to be more personal. Papyrus liked to think that they were fine now but even then, he knew Sans was still battling himself. The conflict in his gaze, the trembling of his hands, the twitching of his grin…it was all so unlike Sans yet he had long gotten used to seeing it in him as well.

He scooped up a string of spaghetti, tasting it and nodded in satisfaction. It was ready.

“SAAANS??”

“yea, bro?”

Papyrus jumped slightly, turning around to see Sans standing right behind him. It always confused him when Sans just appeared out of nowhere –he thought he had still been on the couch watching TV, as the sounds of it could have still been heard when he had called him- but he had long stopped scolding him about it. He waved the wooden spoon and put a hand on his hip. Sans’ eyes followed his movements.

“BREAKFAST IS READY!!”

Sans’ grin widened, hand on his pocket grabbing at a stray ketchup packet.

“sweet.”

They set up the table and Sans was about to sit down when Papyrus accidentally bumped into him, holding the steaming pot. Sans chuckled, eyes looking down and bumped against the other back, gently, minding the other holding the food. Papyrus caught on the playfulness and ‘nyehd’, giving Sans a fond look. He served them their plates and they sat down, enjoying their meal. Taking the first bite, Sans chewed lazily and hummed in appreciation, noticing that Papyrus was still using the herbs. He gave an equally lazy thumbs up and Papyrus’ expectant expression turned into happiness, pleased that he had done it right once again.

“so…what are your plans for today, bro?”

Papyrus finished chewing and scooted his chair closer to Sans, his whole stance showing his excitement.

“I HAVE A COOKING LESSON SCHEDULED FOR TODAY WITH UNDYNE!!”

Sans leaned his head on his fist, hazy pupils looking up at his brother in adoration.

“that’s great, bro. are you going to bring her this batch?”

Having Sans asking him what he had already thought about made him drop his fork, the tingling sound of it hitting the plate resounding. His smile widened.

“YOU REALLY THINK I SHOULD???”

Looking to the side, Sans’ hand on the table neared Papyrus’, fingers shyly reaching out to trace the longer, slimmer ones. Papyrus’ response was almost immediate, moving his hand with a sureness that Sans only hoped to gain one day, and intertwined their fingers. Sans seemed to lean closer, grin relaxing but posture slightly tense.

“why not? this one tastes pretty good. i’m sure she’ll like it.”

There was a brief moment of silence and Sans wondered if, by any chance, he had managed to do something wrong again. He turned his head, glancing up only to be met with Papyrus’ mouth against his. A sudden burst of energy had him making a small sound of surprise, hand raising up to touch the other’s shoulders, fingers curling in bliss and hanging on to it. The kiss was longer, much more intense and Sans held on to it as much as he could, his own energy answering with repressed passion. Their intertwined hands on the table squeezed, sending tiny pleasant tingles up each other’s arms.

Sans was the first to depart this time, feeling the warmth coming from Papyrus quickly increasing into a slight heat, too quickly. The hand on his shoulder slid down towards his chest and pushed gently, chuckling. Papyrus looked different for a change, his gaze almost as hazy as his. It was refreshing.

“YOU REALLY THINK SO??”

Sans squeezed his hand, winking. Papyrus’ blush deepened.

“absolutely. go for it, bro.”

And like a switch had been turned he was given a quick skeleton kiss again, this one resembling more of a peck as Papyrus shot up from his seat, giving one last squeeze to Sans’ hand before letting go. He finished his meal in almost one go and threw the dirty plate and fork into the sink, the sound of china being thrown so carelessly had Sans’ shoulders shaking in inward laughter. Something had definitely been broken.

Papyrus seemed oblivious to it as he poured the remaining spaghetti on a container, sealing it. He held it almost reverently and sat back down, hands cradling the container, and expression the pure manifestation of excitement. Sans only kept eating, amused.

“I CAN’T WAIT, SANS!! UNDYNE IS GOING TO BE SO PROUD, I’M SURE!!!”

He finished his own meal, chewing on his last forkful, and let the fork fall onto the plate, mouth closing into his permanent grin. He could feel the magic from Papyrus’ spaghetti comfortably settling with his and mixing, strengthening it. Even if it was repetitive, it was always a fulfilling meal. Papyrus stood and took his plate, throwing into the sink again and Sans couldn’t contain a snort, touching the other’s arm as Papyrus made a move to start washing them.

“i’ll do it, bro. you go on ahead. don’t wanna be late for your lesson, do you?”

 Papyrus blinked almost comically before gasping, looking strangely touched.

“YOU’RE GOING TO DO THE DISHES…???” Papyrus looked up, as if talking to some kind of deity. Sans only tilted his head in confusion, eyes half lidded. “WHAT A BLESSED DAY!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS TRULY THE STRONGEST OF INFLUENCES!!!”

Sans huffed good naturedly, letting Papyrus have the satisfaction of saying that. It wasn’t exactly a lie, after all. In all honesty, Sans just feared that in Papyrus’ excitement, more of their tableware would suffer. He could always just use his magic to do the job.

Papyrus grabbed the container and headed towards the front entrance, Sans following him. He adjusted his scarf and turned around, expecting Sans to be looking down as always.

But he wasn’t.

His grin was tentative and his hands weren’t inside his pockets anymore but fumbling nervously in front of him.

He was looking at him.

“see you later, paps.”

His grin widened, eyes crinkling at the corners in a rare, breathtaking and absolutely beautiful genuine smile.

“have fun.”

Papyrus stood still for a split second, simply basking in the moment. Golly, he had given his all and more to see that smile and here it was in all its glory.

 He couldn’t help himself.

He reached out and tugged Sans closer into his embrace, long arms wrapping around his waist and mouth resting on the top of his skull in a skeleton kiss. Sans was comfortable to return the embrace, hands clinging to his back. They departed slowly, leaving an air of expectancy and a good kind of tension. It was true that Sans still didn’t like to see him leave, and Papyrus didn’t like to leave Sans either, but now they looked forward to their return, to all the wonderful things they could do together; to just being together. There was no fear anymore, no hiding, no isolation.

“I’ll see you later…” It sounded more of a promise than anything, something to make up for the one Sans made and his tiny pupils widened slightly, always never expecting it when Papyrus used such a lower, intimate tone.

Papyrus leaned back, winking and Sans found it adorably innocent in comparison to his own winks.

“…SUGAR!”

Sans choked on his own magic but before he could say anything, Papyrus was leaving, giving one final wave and setting off. The door closed with an air of finality and Sans sighed. It felt like a chapter of his life had ended to give start to another. He chuckled, shaking his head and looked back at the kitchen. Promises and more promises…

**_“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS TRULY THE STRONGEST OF INFLUENCES!!!”_ **

Sans touched his mouth and made his way to the kitchen, left eye glowing softly as the shards of the one broken plate started to hover and made their way towards the trash. He rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie jacket and grabbed the really tall stool in the corner that he had made in secret –why did Papyrus make their sink so tall??- climbing it and turning on the faucet. Unconsciouly, he lazily hummed a random tune.

**_the best._ **

 

* * *

 

The snow crunched underneath his boots, hurried steps resounding as Papyrus almost power walked towards Waterfall. He waved at the other monsters he passed by as usual and almost everyone waved back, used to his selfless sympathy and cheerful mood. Clutching the container close to his side underneath his arm, he was almost vibrating with giddiness. He had said it was good! Well, Sans had never complained about his cooking but there was only so much he could hide before he started to notice his slight disinterest in it at the beginning. He had come a long way, had endured many lessons and experimentation of his own to get to where he was now: an almost unnoticeably hum of satisfaction and genuine approval. He really couldn’t wait for Undyne to taste it!

He could hear the sound of rushing water as he entered Waterfall and he loosened his red scarf a bit since it wasn’t as cold in here as it was in Snowdin. He passed by a few other monsters here too, waving at them. As he wasn’t paying attention, he felt something bump into his legs and he stopped walking immediately, looking down to see it was that armless kid that would often play around in Waterfall. He recalled that this child was from Snowdin, like him.

“OH GOLLY!! FEAR NOT, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL HELP!!!”

He maintained a tighter grip on his container with one hand and knelt down, using the other to help the kid up, who stumbled a bit in unbalance. Papyrus gave him his easygoing smile and Monster Kid blinked, knowing he had seen this skeleton several times before but never had actually spoken to him. He was very tall and always walked in such a confident way that Monster Kid never had the nerve to say something to him, even if he waved at him in greeting every time he passed by. But now, he actually didn’t seem so bad. He seemed nice.

He also knew this skeleton hung out with Undyne pretty often. That was cool.

“Are you cool like Undyne too?” he blurted out. If he had hands, he would have covered his mouth with them.

The tall skeleton didn’t seem the least bothered with his silly question though. His gaze became excited, pointing a thumb at himself.

“I AM PRETTY COOL!! I AM TRAINING TO BECOME PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD!”

Monster Kid’s mouth resembled an ‘o’, the mention of the Royal Guard making him starry-eyed.

“Awesome!”

“NYEHEHE!”

Papyrus got up after he made sure the child wouldn’t stumble anymore and put his free hand on his hip.

“I NEED TO KEEP GOING NOW!! CAN’T BE LATE!!! TAKE CARE!”

And he continued walking, leaving Monster Kid whose eyes followed him, a wide smile slowly forming.

_So cool!_

He wondered what that container was for.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus took a couple more turns before he arrived at Undyne’s house. He saw Undyne’s neighbor, the ghost. What was his name again? Spooky Bloo Bloo? Napper Hog? Either way, he waved at him but the ghost, realizing he had been spotted, only seemed to become nervous as he slowly vanished. Papyrus wasn’t too put out by it; he always did that every time he tried to greet him. He turned towards Undyne’s house and gave the loudest, strongest knocks he could muster. Which he humbly thought was pretty loud and strong. He could hear Undyne playing the piano from outside before it stopped as he continued knocking. He could hear her loud footsteps coming to answer the door and he kept knocking, smile widening.

“Papyrus, stop that!! I know it’s you!”

“HELLO, UNDYNE!!!”

He snickered as the door was swung open, Undyne’s large and sharp smile greeting him. She held out her fist and he bumped it with his before she stepped to the side and let him in. Hearing the door close behind him, he made his way towards the table and laid the container on top of it. Undyne was making her way to the fridge to get the ingredients needed for their cooking lesson. As she was laying them out she noticed the container Papyrus had brought and raised an eyebrow, nodding towards it.

“What’s that you got there?”

Papyrus put his hand on his hips and ‘nyeh’d’.

“IT’S THE LATEST BATCH OF MY DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI!!! I WANT YOU TO TRY IT!”

Undyne’s smile widened, making her way towards the table and sitting down, reaching for the container. As she opened the lid, steam came out. It was still hot.

“Whoah.” She leaned in and sniffed the food, blinking at the absolutely pleasant aroma. It’s been some time since Papyrus brought her his spaghetti for her to taste and last time…well, it hadn’t been the best of experiences. Truth is, she knew she couldn’t cook for her life and often felt bad for giving Papyrus such an obviously made up alternative ‘training’ but she was doing it out of her best intentions. She hadn’t really expected him to learn _anything_ from her lessons.

But he obviously did.

She picked up the fork she had brought and wrapped the spaghetti around it with a few twirls. The strings were soft but not too soft –she remembered that one time where Papyrus would turn up the heat too much, just like she had taught, and the strings became almost mush, yikes- and soaked with a not lumpy at all tomato sauce –seems like he wasn’t punching the tomatoes anymore, just like she had taught, the absolute sissy! She brought up the forkful to her mouth and took a tentative bite. Her eye widened as the explosion of flavor greeted her tongue. The taste was…indescribable*.

Beside her, Papyrus was fumbling with his gloved hands, gaze expectant and slightly nervous.

“SO…WHAT DO YOU THINK???”

Undyne swallowed and looked up at the skeleton.

“Whoah.” It was all that she could say.

She was impressed, truly. He had done this basically by himself. There was no way he could have done something this edible by following her ‘lessons’ alone. She stood up, solemn look on her face and Papyrus was suddenly unsure. Perhaps it wasn’t that good after all.

She slapped a hand on his shoulder, the strength of it enough to make anyone else fall, but Papyrus didn’t waver. He was one of the few people that could take Undyne’s less than delicate friendship.

“It’s much better than your brother’s midnight snacks, I’ll tell you that!!!”

Her voice was loud and boisterous but her tone seemed excited and Papyrus brightened up at her questionable praise. It was still praise though!

“WOWIE! UNDYNE!!! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THAT!!! REALLY! I DON’T KNOW!”

Undyne snorted at Papyrus’ blatant confusion yet sheepish humility for her praise.

“ACTUALLY…!”

Undyne raised an eyebrow as she saw Papyrus’ stance suddenly shift, hand scratching the back of his neck. Was that an orange tint on his cheeks??

“IT WAS SANS THAT TOLD ME I SHOULD BRING IT TO YOU! HE SAID IT TASTED GOOD!!”

It took a while but seeing Papyrus actually looking flustered was enough for her to put the pieces together. Her smile turned into a smirk. Somebody was crushing hard.

“Did he now??” Papyrus didn’t seem to notice the underlying teasing tone and nodded excitedly, blush deepening.

Fuhuhu!!

She made a mental note to leak this out to Alphys.

She smiled widely once again and closed the lid of the container, taking it to her ‘hot-fridge’ and storing it there for later consumption.

“Well, your brother was right!! That spaghetti was freakin’ TIGHT!”

Papyrus was positively beaming, heading over to Undyne’s counter. He saw the ingredients and was mildly confused. These didn’t look much like the ones they normally use.

“ARE WE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, UNDYNE??”

As if being reminded, Undyne snapped her fingers and nodded, opening her cutlery drawer and snatching a small notebook from there, waving it–why the notebook was there, nobody knew.

“Alphys found this at the garbage dump!! It’s a recipe book! I thought we could try one of them! It’s called lasagna!”

Papyrus’ eyes widened. A new recipe! Golly, that would be great now that he had mastered spaghetti –he was always the master of spaghetti but now it was official.

Undyne opened the notebook and the lasagna recipe was right on the first page. She laid it down on the counter, squinting her eyes at it. Oh boy, it was a handwritten recipe book.

“Well, huh…I’m pretty sure it says here that we need to cook up the meat first so let’s just do that!!”

She slammed a pot on top of the stove and just threw the meat there. Behind her, Papyrus had his arms crossed, one hand raised in a fist and supporting his chin as he observed with all his attention. He was also making notes in his mind because he had excellent memory!

Undyne took another glance at the notebook.

“Oh! Says I should also add chopped onion and garlic!! Can’t get enough of those vegetables, huh!!”

Papyrus nodded in agreement as Undyne raised her fist, slamming it on the poor innocent onions and garlic. Pieces went flying everywhere until what remained on the counter seemed more like dust than chopped up pieces. She scooped it up and threw it carelessly on the pot too.

“Ok! So, now we need to make the lasagna noodles!! Papyrus come here!”

“ALRIGHT, UNDYNE!!”

He excitedly awaited for more instructions but Undyne seemed to get annoyed already as her eyes roved quickly over the recipe. She seemed to become overwhelmed.

“What the…WHY IS THERE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO??? NGAAAAAAAH!!”

She grabbed the bag of flour and salt and dumped it whole on the counter, creating a big mound of it. Papyrus was absolutely amazed. Undyne was really dedicated to her craft!

She also took the eggs and slammed them inside the mound. She put her hands on it and started to violently mix it all together. A large part of it was falling messily on the floor…

But the remains of it were starting to become sticky and malleable! Soon, there was a large amount of dough ready and Undyne’s eye twinkled.

“Alright, Papyrus!! You take care of that end! And I’ll take care of this end!! Ready? GO!!!”

She started to slam her fist on the dough, flattening it instantly and Papyrus followed right next, doing his best to keep up. She kept it up, laughing her loud, obnoxious laugh that Papyrus just thought it was so contagious. These lessons were always so much fun!

“Keep it, Papyrus!! It says here that we need to keep going until this stuff is ‘smooth and satiny’, FUHUHUHU!!”

“NYEHEHEH!! I THINK IT’S WORKING, UNDYNE!!!”

It wasn’t.

Five minutes passed and Undyne suddenly stopped, grabbing the enormous amount of dough and just slamming it in the tray.

“I think we can just skip these couple of steps for the noodles!! They’re booooring!!!”

“SURE THING, UNDYNE!! YOU ALWAYS KNOW BEST!!”

Undyne’s smile widened even more.

“Yeah! You’re right!! I do know best!! Who needs this wimpy notebook anyway??!”

She grabbed the notebook and threw it behind her, stray pages of it scattering everywhere. Papyrus wasn’t the least concerned.

Undyne grabbed a wedge of cheese and ‘karate chopped’ it, throwing the halves on the tray with the dough, more eggs –whoah, that’s a lot of egg- and even more cheese (this one seemed different; another type of cheese perhaps). She shoved the whole wedge of that one.

The smell of something burning hit her nostrils and she sniffed deeply, turning sharply to where the meat had been cooking on the stove. The flames were high and the pot was starting to turn black at the bottom.

“AH! The meat is ready!!”

She grabbed the pot and flipped it over, its contents falling onto the tray she had been ‘preparing’. Papyrus gasped at the almost finished product.

“THAT LOOKS AMAZING, UNDYNE!!!”

It didn’t.

Undyne’s eye twitched as she laughed.

“I KNOW!!”

She grabbed the tray and opened the oven-

“INSIDE YOU GO!!”

\- shoving the tray inside and slamming it shut. She then started turning the heat switch aaaall the way to the right.

…Beyond all the way, actually. How was that even possible?

“IT NEEDS TO BE HOTTER!! SO IT STAYS NICE AND CRISPY!!!”

Papyrus was still just completely amazed at Undyne’s unmatched cooking skills. Truly a master at her craft.

“HOTTER!!!! HOOOOOTTER!!”

The insides of the oven started to redden, heat practically emitting in waves from it. Still, Undyne kept going.

The whole oven started to tremble. It was not the first time this happened. Undyne picked up on the signs and stopped turning the switch just at the right time, turning.

“PAPYRUS GET BACK!!”

And then she ran, bending to pick up the previously shunned recipe notebook. Knowing it was their cue to leave, Papyrus jumped through the window, breaking the glass. He did a perfect barrel roll as he landed.

Nailed the landing once again!!

Undyne was quick to follow him and a loud ‘BOOM’ resounded right from behind her and pretty much echoed across all of Waterfall.

It was all a part of the cooking lesson, of course.

Undyne gazed upon the remains of her kitchen –thank ASGORE it didn’t damage her piano! This time…

She thought she could see the charred result of her cooking plastered on the walls. Didn’t look that bad!

Oh, who was she kidding.

“THAT!”

Undyne looked to her side, seeing Papyrus with his mouth open in awe.

“WAS! AWESOME! UNDYNE!!! I KNOW HOW TO MAKE LASAGNA NOW!! HOW COOL IS THAT???”

Undyne snorted before bursting into laughter, flinging an arm around Papyrus’ shoulders and shook him playfully. How they were still doing this, she didn’t know. She just gave him the notebook and Papyrus took it absentmindedly, eyes still focused on the ‘lasagna’ all over the house.

“Here, just take this and read it. It’s your homework.”

Her house was partially ruined.

She wondered if Alphys would be up for another prolonged pajama party…

 

* * *

 

Papyrus burst through the front door, his arms filled with paper shopping bags.

“SANS!! I’M HOME!!!”

“welcome home…! paps! why did you get all this stuff?”

Papyrus felt the weight on his arms alleviate a bit as one of the bags was lifted by Sans’ magic, floating.

“THANK YOU, SWEETHEART!!”

The floating bag almost fell at that.

 Papyrus shifted the remaining bags on his arms so they weren’t in front of most of his face anymore. He smiled down at Sans who was giving him an amused grin, cheeks tinted blue. So the endearments were working after all!

He shut the front door with his boot and walked towards the kitchen. Sans trailed behind him with the floating bag, left eye glowing faintly. He promptly dumped the bags on the counter –Sans was more careful and just laid the one had next to the counter on the floor. Papyrus took out the notebook Undyne had given him and opened it, laying it on the counter too.

“so. how was your day, bro?”

Papyrus’ smile widened as he turned, still barely able to contain his excitement. He leaned down and gave a skeleton kiss to Sans’ forehead. Sans didn’t fight that anymore, eyes closing in bliss for that split second.

“IT WAS FUN!! UNDYNE TAUGHT ME A NEW RECIPE!!!”

Oh boy…

Sans’ grin twitched in uncertainty as his eyes roved over all the bags Papyrus had brought. He remembered the first time he had come back from Undyne’s and wanted to try out making the spaghetti by himself. It hadn’t been pretty.

Still, he wouldn’t stop his brother. Doing this made him happy and Sans would never interfere in that. He shoved his hands in his pockets instead, trying to see what Papyrus was doing.

“what did she say about your spaghetti?”

Papyrus seemed to brighten up even more at his question and Sans allowed himself to relax completely. Today had been a good day.

“SHE SAID IT WAS BETTER THAN YOUR MIDNIGHT SNACKS!!!”

Hey, that was a matter of preference but it’s not like she wasn’t right. Sans shrugged, looking to the side.

“heh. it sure is, bro.”

Papyrus hummed in satisfaction before proceeding to dump an entire bag of flour on the counter.

Sans huffed, eyes half lidded. There we go.

It was then that Papyrus had a brilliant idea. The ‘Dating Book’ had said to share interests, hadn’t it? Cooking was a great way to bring two people together! And it was one of his favorite things to do! So really, it would do for a great date and he could start mastering this lasagna recipe as well! Truly, he was a genius!

“SANS…DO YOU PERHAPS WANT TO HELP ME??”

Sans tilted his head, not sure if he had heard right. Him, the lazybones, had been asked for help? Help Papyrus cook? That was rather unusual.

But…well, it’s not like he had anything better to do. And it could be a way to prevent Papyrus from blowing up their kitchen, while at it. He shuffled his way to Papyrus’ side and nudged the other’s hip with his, rolling up his sleeves. Papyrus’ smile widened, a chuckle escaping him as he nudged back.

“ALRIGHT SO…I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE THE LASAGNA NOODLES FIRST!!”

Sans only shrugged. His hands were ready for the least amount of work he could muster.

“lead the way.”

Papyrus tried to recall how Undyne had done it, while also paying in mind the instructions that were in the notebook she had told him to read. He added the salt and eggs and slammed a fist into it, flour spouting everywhere and onto their fronts. Sans coughed, a white puff of flour coming out of his mouth. He felt conflicted between the loud commands of Undyne to just punch the living daylights out of it or softly kneading it until it was ‘smooth and satiny’ like the notebook instructed. He decided to just do a mix of both and stretched one of its ends towards Sans when it started resembling dough.

“START DOING WHAT I DO OVER THERE, SANS!!”

Sans’ grin twitched in amusement, laying his hands on it and his eyes would dart towards Papyrus’ movements, especially when he was ‘softly kneading’. He couldn’t get his eyes off the way those long fingers played with the dough, pressing and caressing –much like the way he had done so to Papyrus’ spine before- and he started feeling slightly ashamed when he felt an increasing cold within him, soul flickering and sending almost electrifying sensations to all the extremes of his body. In that moment, he wished he was that dough.

*SLAM*

He blinked as Papyrus’ fist suddenly slammed down onto it.

Or maybe he was happy enough to be himself and not that dough.

He glanced up and chuckled, noticing the large spot of flour on Papyrus’ glowing cheek. He took his hands out of the dough and turned.

“hey, paps, c’mere.”

Papyrus stopped slamming his fist on the dough and turned with a curious gaze, leaning down.

“WHAT IS IT, SANS??”

Sans cupped his other cheek and, with his other hand, wiped the flour from Papyrus’ face.

“you had some here.”

“OH!! NYEHEHE! THANK YOU, SANS!!!”

They didn’t depart though. Sans cupped his now clean cheek too and felt the urge to just kiss him. Could he do it? He lacked the courage but he was feeling it right now. And it wasn’t like Papyrus would mind, right?

Grin twitching nervously, he leaned forward and bumped their mouths together. He felt Papyrus gasp in surprise for a moment before he leaned into it, releasing his energy too.

The increasing cold that he had been feeling became even more intense and Sans became a little bolder, arms wrapping around the other’s waist and tugging him closer. Papyrus only did the same, his own soul getting warmer and reacting wonderfully to their proximity. Golly, this felt amazing. Sans felt amazing. He wanted more.

It was when he felt Sans’ hands starting to stray, one of them sliding up and underneath his battle body, fingers leaving faint trails of blue and giving a rather more than tender caress across the sides of his ribs that he gasped –this was much different than when they had their tickle fight- and his hand raised up reflexively, grabbing Sans’ wrist.

Sans immediately detached himself, pupils vanished.

“s-shit, sorry, paps, i…sorry, i won’t do that again.”

Tilting his head in confusion, Papyrus’ eyes widened at Sans’ meek words. Another misunderstanding. But he would be quick to rectify it, this time.

He reached out and grabbed Sans’ hand again, tugging him closer. Sans looked up at him in confusion when he rested it back against his ribs, gaze gentle and understanding.

“Here, Sans. It’s alright.” The grip on Sans’ wrist moved, making the hand mimic the caresses Sans was giving him before he was interrupted. “Touch me.”

It sounded innocent and Papyrus was surely just assuring him that it was alright but Sans almost groaned as the words sounded especially sinful and in that low, intimate tone, no less. Sans wrapped an arm around Papyrus’ waist again and buried his face on his chest, flustered and irreversibly seduced.

“i don’t deserve you.”

The words were muffled but Papyrus heard them loud and clear and he couldn’t help but sigh, his other hand resting on top of Sans’ skull. His breath hitched as Sans’ fingers moved now and then, tentatively, tracing the edges of his ribs and sending pleasant tingles down his spine and towards his warm soul. Golly, that felt really really good.

“Yes, you do. Silly.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡° ) intensifies
> 
>  
> 
> *I like to think that Papyrus' spaghetti is actually pretty good, ok? x3  
> Also I love how in the end of True Pacifist, Monster Kid decides that Undyne is a bit too much of a 'meanie' for him and starts idolizing Papyrus instead. It's cute.
> 
> I literally just listened to ["Spear of Justice"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrBB3_rFPjg) while writing Undyne's cooking lesson. It was an enlightening experience. ❀‿❀


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, dearies!! (I might do a little something for the special occasion too, later!) Please enjoy the thirteenth chapter! <3

Stars, he felt like the biggest pervert in the history of perverts.

What was he thinking, touching Papyrus like that? It was supposed to be only a kiss! An innocent, loving, little kiss just like the ones he had been so generously given so far. Why did he even move, he should have just stayed still and kept kneading the blasted dough.

His arm around Papyrus’ waist shifted slightly, fingers accidentally brushing against the side of his exposed pelvic girdle. He really was reconsidering his life choices –namely of letting Papyrus wear the almost skimpy costume, that they had made for that one party, every day. Papyrus fidgeted in response, fingers curling slightly on the top of Sans’ skull. He could feel the shivering of the warm soul, the tiny, tentative beats of first time pleasure as it glowed dangerously near his hand. He should back away now, should just awkwardly and lamely pun his way out while he can. He knew it would ruin the mood perfectly: Papyrus would be too outraged by his choice of humor and they would get back to cooking, hopefully like nothing had happened.

His thumb pressed against one of the lower ribs and rubbed, drawing out another low hum out of Papyrus. Another beat, this one much warmer, grazed his hand.

“Hmm…S-Sans…”

Sans’ grin twitched, almost voicing a groan again as he pressed his face even more against Papyrus’ chest. Hearing his name being called like that…

Sans felt his sins crawling on his back.

“yea?”

His words sounded even more muffled. The wispy trails of blue that followed the tips of his fingers lost stability and became hazy. Papyrus’ grip on his wrist loosened, long fingers tenderly careful as they moved upwards until they reached his own stubbier ones. Sans’ soul flickered and his caresses wavered until they completely stopped. His sudden burst of courage had gone and he sighed.

“It’s alright, Sans.” Papyrus repeated, trying to will Sans to look up at him. He too had enjoyed the moment but had quickly become worried when Sans had just stayed there. It was as if he was stuck in his thoughts and Papyrus already knew they weren’t good.

“i want you.”

Papyrus blinked, a shiver traveling up his spine as he finally processed the words that had been uttered lowly and his blush deepened dramatically. Sans’ voice had sounded different –Papyrus was no stranger to the ways Sans could change his voice, he seemed to have a beyond natural control of it- and he had never heard it like that. It was deep, deeper than normal, and breathy, with an underlying echo of emotion that was less than positive.

“Oh.”

A humorless chuckle.

“do you get it now, papyrus?” His grin widened and he detached himself from the other’s chest, looking up with pupil less eyes. Papyrus didn’t remove his hand from the top of his skull, instead, he kept his own caresses. Sans sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and his shoulders slumped, body still leaning against his brother’s.

“it’s not alright. i want to touch you, i want to feel you, i want…” His voice drifted off abruptly, his subconscious shutting him up as his shame caught up to him again. Stubbornly and, perhaps stupidly, he didn’t let go of his hold on Papyrus. And Papyrus didn’t let go of him either.

His smile wavered, pondering on Sans’ words. He couldn’t know what Sans was feeling, that was a given. But he had long learned to understand the guilt in these feelings. He had seen the result of these feelings in a dark bedroom filled with loneliness and misery. He didn’t quite know but he was starting to. And to have such a gentle initiation, such thoughtfulness in every touch, every kiss, every intimacy, was more than he could ever ask of Sans. It was what he had always expected of him and he never thought less of him for all the stifling darkness he held inside or even for that one night where he had seen him at his worst. In fact, it only made Papyrus admire him more. Sans was strong. Stronger than any other monster he had ever met.

He leaned down and gave a skeleton kiss to the top of his skull. Sans slowly removed his hand from beneath Papyrus’ battle body, his grin becoming apologetic. He still blamed himself.

“Sans, I love you.” Sans’ pupils reformed, hold on his waist tightening slightly in a gentle squeeze. It was good that he didn’t seem to doubt that anymore and Papyrus’ soul became warmer, happy that his deepest, most honest feelings were so readily accepted.

“i love you too…” His voice sounded normal once again, soft and the lazy drawl of it had an underlying tenderness. Papyrus’ smile and expression brightened, his other hand, where their fingers were still intertwined, raised them to his mouth and kissed them lovingly.

“Isn’t that all that matters? Isn’t that enough? We’re in this together, Sans.” His eyes crinkled at the corners, his own words giving him peace. “Just like always.”

Papyrus always made so much sense, even when he did so in the most ridiculous ways possible. It was like reality had knocked at Sans’ door and his soul pulsed. His words felt stuck inside him so he simply nodded.

“And this?”

His grip on Sans’ hand shifted once again, guiding it back beneath his battle body. Sans’ eyes searched his face, finding only an unwavering smile and a trustful gaze. They both shivered as Papyrus rested his hand on his sternum, where the warmth of his soul was the strongest. The vision, the sensation, it was all so surreal to Sans. This amount of trust was something he also did not deserve. But Papyrus was giving it to him anyway.

“What we have is much more than just this, Sans.”

It sounded so simple. So easy.

And it was.

Sans sighed, nodding once again before he respectfully removed his hand from Papyrus’ grip and threw his arms around him in an embrace. Papyrus was more than happy to return it, nuzzling the crook of his neck –a place that they both favored.

“So yes, it is alright.”

And that was that.  Nothing more needed to be said. Sans would still have his moments of weakness but Papyrus would always be there to help him get back up again. And in return, Sans gave him all the love he had to give, undisputable and, one day surely, unrestrained. What they had could be quickly overshadowed but never forgotten. For Papyrus, he would do anything.

They parted and Papyrus’ blush was still very evident as he adjusted the bottom of his battle body and Sans had the grace to look to the side. He also noticed that they were also still covered in flour. Papyrus hid his giggle behind his hand, the other stretching to gently wipe a spot near Sans’ eye.

Papyrus put his hands on his hips and nodded towards the counter where everything was still set. What a mess…

“I BELIEVE WE HAVE A LASAGNA TO MAKE!!! LET’S GET BACK TO WORK, SANS!!”

Sans chuckled, following Papyrus back to the counter.

“sure thing, bro.”

They went back to kneading the dough, dirtying themselves with even more flour. Papyrus gave him a strange look but before he could question him on it, a handful of flour was thrown at his face accompanied by the cheerful sound of Papyrus’ laugh. Sans coughed, hands raising to try to wipe his face and his grin widened mischievously. Papyrus’ eyes narrowed as he saw Sans’ left eye glow slightly, not noticing the spare bag of flour he had bought being opened and hovering above his head.

“SANS, THAT’S CHEATING AGAIN- GAAH!!!!!”

His soft warning was interrupted by a whole bag of flour being dumped on his head. Sans chuckled as Papyrus sputtered, coughing out puffs of flour too and being absolutely covered in it.

“SANS!!!”

Sans simply shrugged, winking at him.

“c’mon, bro. i thought you had said we _kneaded_ to get back to work.”

Papyrus gave him one of his unamused looks like expected but his smile twitched like always. Sans knew Papyrus had always found his lame puns funny and it was one of the reasons why he said them all the time.

“NYEH! I GUESS I HAD THAT ONE COMING.”

It was truly something else to see a tall skeleton covered entirely in flour kneading and punching dough. It was truly worth a picture but since they didn’t have a camera with them, Sans contented himself with storing it in his memory, holding it there dearly. Papyrus would glance at the notebook now and then and after a few more minutes, he stopped and made a gesture for Sans to stop too as he started cutting the dough into strips.

“I THINK THESE SHOULD BE THIN BUT NOT TOO THIN!!!”

Sans only held up a thumbs up, grin lazy and easygoing.

“you’re doing great, paps.”

Papyrus beamed at the encouragement, not resisting in leaning down and bump their mouths in a small skeleton kiss, a tiny orange and blue spark emitting from it. They found it funny that they both smelled strongly of flour but they could still recognize the smell of spaghetti on Papyrus and of ketchup on Sans.

Papyrus was quick to prepare the other ingredients, cooking the meat with the onions and garlic like Undyne had shown him: the flames were high but not as much as Undyne liked them to be, due to Sans’ watchful gaze. They both laid out the dough on the tray and then Papyrus took out the various kinds of cheese wedges from the shopping paper bags, deciding to mash them all together. Sans’ grin widened, watching Papyrus bringing down his fist on those as well. Everything about it screamed Undyne. Satisfied with the outcome, Papyrus was then rather gentle as he laid out the mashed pieces of cheese over the dough and Sans found it cute how he was still trying to merge the instructions together: the indisputably right and clear instructions of the notebook and Undyne’s brash and _explosive_ cooking lesson.

He just hoped their kitchen survived another night.

The smell of something slightly burning hit their nostrils and Sans scrunched his face slightly, looking at the pot on the stove. It was turning black at the bottom…

“OH!!! THE MEAT IS READY!!”

Papyrus went to get it and then promptly flipped the pot over the tray.

They were going to eat that.

And then Papyrus punched the meat as well. It quickly became mashed and mixed with the cheese. Sans was becoming impressed with how this was almost working. Almost.

He helped Papyrus lay the other strip of dough over what had been prepared. Papyrus knew the notebook said there were two more layers but, since he was a beginner in this recipe, he decided to do only one for now. Slow steps.

They both looked at the somewhat sloppy looking uncooked result and Papyrus rubbed his chin. The notebook had pictures glued on every recipe page, showcasing how the food should look like after following its steps and on the lasagna it had two: one where it was uncooked and another where it was ready and completely finished. Both of them had a human hand giving a thumbs up near the displayed lasagna (he knew that because he had the illustrations on the ‘Dating Book’ as a reference). Absolutely amazing, he now had two human books! Sometimes he wondered if he could study them or scavenge for other human memorabilia…to improve his human capturing skills, of course!

Either way, this didn’t resemble the picture in any way. He frowned, making mental notes to perhaps…follow the notebook just a little more. It wouldn’t be against Undyne’s instructions; she had told him to read it, after all! He stole a glance at Sans, trying not to giggle at seeing him covered in flour –golly, they both looked so silly. Sans seemed pretty relaxed, if not sleepy already; his eyes were half lidded but seemed to be dropping very slowly sometimes. It wasn’t even that late but Papyrus knew it was normal for his brother to be snoozing at this time. That he was even making an effort to stay up and help him was absolutely lovable.

It made him feel really nice. He had never noticed this huge gap he had been missing in his life. To have someone so special that truly appreciated him. And yes, he was aware he had just described Sans. It made him feel even more silly for not realizing it sooner. But now he really had that special someone and he wouldn’t give him up for the world.

Not even for a human to capture.

Sans seemed to notice he was looking at him and gave him a lazy grin and another equally lazy thumbs up. Papyrus sighed in happiness, having the approval of someone who truly mattered and grabbed the tray, making his way to the oven. Sans stepped aside but his eyes followed his movements, making sure he wouldn’t hurt himself even now (he remembered Sans had been adamant to let him use the kitchen in the beginning, when he had started his cooking lessons with Undyne; he had been still relatively young and carelessly enthusiastic -…alright, but he was less young and carelessly enthusiastic now! A bit.). He opened the oven and almost shoved it inside –Sans almost laughed at the loud sound it made- and shut it closed, turning the heat switch all the way to the right. Unlike Undyne, he (fortunately) couldn’t do the impossible and go any beyond all the way. He ‘nyeh’d’ in satisfaction and they both looked at the oven doing its work. The insides were becoming alarmingly red and heat was emanating from it. Papyrus was more that satisfied. It wasn’t like Undyne had done but it was pretty close!

“WELL, NOW WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT FOR A WHILE!!!”

Papyrus’ blush deepened as he reminded himself that this had, technically, been a date. Their third date. And it had gone pretty well, if he said so himself. They cooked –golly, they had cooked together! He was so happy! (even if he had done most of the work)- and they had laughed and joked, they had kissed and t-touched, they had been honest with each other and were once again at peace, they had played and the kitchen was now an absolute mess –he would freak out about it later. They had fun. They had spent time together. That’s what really mattered.

Papyrus deemed it safe to label this date as successful.

“THIS WAS FUN!!”

Sans looked up at him, his eyes crinkled at the corners. His gaze was still soft with sleepiness. Cute.

“it sure was, paps.”

Papyrus fumbled with his hands and looked away. Sans took advantage of that to lower the oven’s heat switch. Phew.

“WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN, SOMETIME!”

The words sounded familiar and Sans huffed good naturedly. Really, Papyrus shouldn’t have to ask to spend time with him and he blamed himself for that. Still, it made him happy and that was all Sans wanted.

“sure, bro. whenever you want.”

He shrugged, body not resisting his drowsiness and leaning against Papyrus’ body, skull resting against the side of his torso*. Papyrus wrapped an arm around him and tugged him closer, smiling gently down at Sans. The lasagna could wait until tomorrow, there was no hurry. For now, they would clean up and rest. He had been looking forward for a bedtime story but he would read it to himself this time, since Sans was practically falling asleep on him. Lazybones.

“UP YOU GO!”

“…huh?”

Papyrus grabbed him under his arms and lifted him. Sans’ arms and legs automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and waist, like always, and he gave a tired chuckle, looking up. His loving gaze silently conveyed his thanks. As they left the kitchen, Sans looked back, not really caring for it but voicing his concern anyway.

“don’t you want me to help you clean up too…?”

It really was a huge mess. And he was _definitely_ going to freak out over it later. He was surprised and strangely touched once again that Sans had offered to help in tidying up.

Slow steps.

Patience.

One day he would be able to convince Sans to pick up his sock.

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT, SANS!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL HAVE EVERYTHING TAKEN CARE OF!!!”

Sans was too tired to question that and decided to just lay his head back down against his brother’s neck. The flour tickled his nose hole. He allowed his eyes to close and if he could, he would just stay like this all night, nestled and snuggled comfortably in Papyrus’ arms.

“thanks, bro. you’re so cool.” He managed to utter, voice low and slightly raspy due to his tiredness.

Meanwhile, Papyrus was trying hard not to just smother Sans in his affections. He thought he was cool and he liked his spaghetti. Truly, Sans met all his standards! How could he have been so blind??

He climbed his way up the stairs and, looking down at their messy state, made his way to the bathroom**. Sans seemed to wake up a bit more as he noticed he wasn’t being brought to his bedroom and shot Papyrus a curious, sleepy look.  Papyrus looked down at him and smiled brightly.

“YOU DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE GOING TO SLEEP IN THAT STATE, DID YOU???”

Sans shrugged.

“maybe.”

Papyrus shook his head, gently putting Sans down as they entered the bathroom.

“COME ON, LAZYBONES, I’LL DRAW YOU A BATH!!!”

Papyrus made his way to their bathtub, kneeled by it and turned on the hot water tap. Sans shuffled towards him, leaning against him again as they waited for the tub to fill. Papyrus tugged him closer and laid a skeleton kiss on his cheek. A faint blue glow appeared on it. They could hear their souls beat and pulse in harmony.

“thanks, paps.”

Papyrus already knew he wasn’t just thanking him for the bath or for carrying him. He turned off the tap as the tub was almost filled to the brim by now.

“You’re welcome, Sans.”

And then he got up and walked out of the bathroom to give Sans some privacy.

Sans looked back as the door closed softly and then lazily started undressing, looking down at his reflection in the water.

He found it wasn’t as painful to look at himself anymore.

 

* * *

 

When Sans was done with his bath and got out of the bathroom, he was already in his comfy bathrobe and slippers. Papyrus had been waiting with his old light orange pajamas, littered with cartoonish femurs***, in his arms. It has been some time since he had worn them but since his costume was dirty, he would need to get out of it to wash it. He smiled down at Sans.

“i drew you a new bath.”

Papyrus nodded in appreciation and leaned down, knowing Sans would go straight to bed now. Hands inside the pockets of his robe, Sans leaned up to meet him halfway and they bumped their mouths together, another delightful spark flickering between them.

“GOODNIGHT, SANS!!!”

“night, bro.”

Papyrus sighed as he looked at him sluggishly make his way towards his bedroom. His eyes were almost closed from how sleepy he was.

Papyrus hid his giggle behind his hand and went inside the bathroom to have his much deserved bath. His rubbery duck friend awaited him with new adventures!!

In his bedroom, Sans promptly plopped down on his mattress, arms spreading and enjoying how his hands met stray notes and crumpled covers. He was in his natural habitat.

His pupils disappeared and he closed his eyes, falling quickly into the land of dreams and with Papyrus’ smile fresh on his mind.

 

* * *

 

“CURSES!!! MY LASAGNA!!”

Sans groggily opened his eyes, groaning and grabbing his pillow, pressing it on top of his head to muffle the already very _early_ and very _loud_ ruckus. Early and loud, what an amazing combination. He could hear several sounds of things crashing and sometimes breaking, the thumping of boots and…a bark?

“SAAANS!! IT’S GOING UP THE STAIRS!!!”

His door was swung open and he heard the pitter patter of paws energetically stepping on the wooden floor.

“shit.”

His swear was muffled by the pillow as he then felt his mattress dip. Another bark. The pillow was thrown from his face and he saw the white dog that liked to plague their lives now and then near his face.

_please don’t do it._

He made a faint sound of disgust as the dog’s tail wiggled energetically and a slobbering tongue licked his cheek. He sat up, trying to get away from it but the dog jumped on his lap and littered his face with more of its kisses. It had a reddish sauce around its muzzle and its breath smelled strongly of cheese.

Little rascal.

“stop, stop, geez.” A chuckle escaped him. For the life of him, he didn’t know why the dog had taken such a liking to him.

He could hear Papyrus making his way up the stairs and the dog’s ear perked up, already knowing it was its cue to leave.

Papyrus had the chance to see it still tormenting Sans-

“DON’T LET HIM ESCAPE!!”

-before the dog jumped, crashing through Sans’ bedroom window and vanishing. Papyrus rushed to it and waved his fist, seeing it cheerfully skipping its way across the snow.

“YOU BLASTED CANINE!!! ONE DAY I’LL GET YOU, MARK MY WORDS!!!!”

“morning,bro.”

Papyrus huffed, hands on his hips before he turned, gaze instantly softening.

“GOOD MORNING, SANS!!”

As expected, Papyrus was already in his freshly washed costume, very much awake and active.

He then frowned, gesturing to the broken window.

“IT ATE THE LASAGNA WHILE I WASN’T LOOKING!! AND THIS IS THE FOURTH WINDOW IT BREAKS!!!”

Sans stood up, stretching and then made his way to his fuming brother, wrapping his arms around his waist in an embrace. He wasn’t the least bothered, like usual.

“yea, bro, that dog sure is problematic.”

He closed his eyes as he felt Papyrus wrap an arm around him in return, sighing in exasperation. Sans’ grin widened mischievously, his eyes squinting in playfulness.

“it’s just… _pawful_.”

There was a moment of silence before Papyrus sighed once again. Sans’ shoulders shook as he chuckled. Papyrus made a sound of disbelief, pushing him away but Sans held on, not wanting to let go.

“SANS YOU’RE UNBELIEVABLE!!!”

Sans’ hold on his waist tightened in a squeeze and Papyrus tried to will the warmth on his cheeks away. He couldn’t go soft on Sans for his bad puns! Even if the way he looked at him, eyes still half lidded with sleep, made his soul skip a beat.

“aw, don’t say that, paps.”

Sans winked in an obvious flirty way. Papyrus still tried to ignore the now very much visible glow on his cheeks.

_BE STILL MY SOUL!!_

He huffed again, this time in resignation.

“WELL, IT’S THE TRUTH!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD START THIS EARLY!!!”

Sans sighed, being reminded of all the sleep he could have still gotten.

“yea. early.”

Papyrus had the grace to look slightly apologetic, giving Sans a skeleton kiss on his forehead. He knew there were a few more hours to go before Sans would usually wake up.

“WELL…GUESS IT’S MY DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI FOR BREAKFAST AGAIN!!”

Sans chuckled, giving Papyrus one last squeeze before letting go, nodding.

“you go on then, bro. i’ll be downstairs soon.”

Papyrus smiled brightly and hummed in agreement, making his way towards the door. As he was about to get out of the bedroom, he suddenly remembered something from the ‘Dating Book’ and turned around. Sans looked up, tilting his head in curiosity and Papyrus brought a hand to his mouth, making an airy sound as he then stretched his hand, blowing him a kiss. He returned the wink from before and was satisfied to see the matching blue glow faint on Sans’ cheeks as he chuckled sleepily, making a grabbing motion as if ‘catching’ the kiss.

Pleased that Sans had played along, he smiled and shut the door softly, happily making his way downstairs and into the kitchen. He laid out all the ingredients for his spaghetti, looking around suspiciously for any delinquent canines and filled a pot with water, letting it boil on the stove. This would as good of a time as any to go check their mail.

As he went outside, he waved at a few passing neighbors, saying his usual good morning and walked towards their mailboxes. He shook his head at Sans’ mailbox, still overflowing with unread mail and bills. As he was about to open his, he heard a loud commotion in the distance and he looked up, seeing a somewhat familiar figure in the distance, holding something absolutely humongous over their head.

“HEADS UP!! NGAAAAAAAAAAH!”

He heard a few startled screams and his eyes widened in awe as he saw a flying bolder with something attached to its front flying at a high speed towards him. He hurriedly stepped away and the boulder hit just beside him and the mailboxes, a wave of snow hitting him. He wiped it from his eyes and blinked, noticing that what was attached to the boulder was a neat envelope with rather hasty handwritten scribbles on the front.

To: Papyrus…and Sans.

From: Undyne and Alphys! ^.^

Papyrus smiled brightly, taking the envelope and looking at the figure in the distance. The other monsters were still looking at her wide eyed but Papyrus just waved at her energetically, envelope crinkling with his movements.

“HELLO, UNDYNE!!! I GOT YOUR MAIL!!”

He thought he saw her giving him a thumbs up to then wave her arms wildly.

“I WAS NEVER HERE, DORK!!!”

And then she turned and started running, probably back to Alphys’. Papyrus continued waving.

“OK!!”

“what’s up?”

Papyrus jumped as Sans appeared out of nowhere again. He had heard the loud, obnoxious commotion and then the almost earth shaking landing of the boulder and had come out to see what it was all about. He wasn’t exactly surprised though.

“SANS!! WE’VE GOT MAIL!”

“oh? what does it say?”

Papyrus was curious about it too and promptly opened the envelope, taking out the lone folded sheet of paper. He unfolded that too and the straightforward message was loud and clear.

**Come over! We’re having a pajama party! D-Don’t be late, if you can!**

**PUNKS!!**

It was obvious that it had been written by both of them. Even so, Papyrus was absolutely overjoyed with the invitation. And they had both been invited!! It’s been some time since Sans had went with him to a party!

This was going to be fun.

“WE WERE INVITED FOR A PAJAMA PARTY, SANS!!”

Sans tilted his head.

“…both of us?”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. Sans’ grin twisted unsurely.

Oh. Ok?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Rough example of Sans' height in my story, I guess.
> 
> **I know in the game their house doesn't seem to have a bathroom but since I believe the house wasn't fully explored (you can see a balcony from outside that was never explored inside, for example) they have one in my story 
> 
> ***Sounds familiar? (◕‿-)  
> Papyrus said once in one of his calls in the game that he used to make lasagna but he didn't anymore because a dog kept eating it (lol). 
> 
> Undyne's Express Delivery Service! 
> 
> Also: ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡° ) is off the charts!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to break this chapter into two, since it was turning out to be really long. It's really late in here and I'm directly going to sleep now but it was worth it! ❀‿❀ Please, enjoy the fourteenth chapter! <3
> 
> Also a huge thank you and all my love to amortem-kun for the absolutely amazing and adorable [fanart](http://amortem-kun.tumblr.com/post/139537484030/i-really-fell-in-love-with-this-breaking-point). This is just so precious.

Sans could really just stand there, holding and sipping on a ketchup bottle as his eyes followed Papyrus busily power walking around, tidying up the whole house (again). The familiar aroma of spaghetti cooked up in the kitchen and Sans’ grin widened. His brother really was excited.

“OH SANS I CAN’T WAIT!! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN, YOU’LL SEE!!!”

“no doubt, bro.”

To be entirely honest, Sans wasn’t really looking forward to it. Alphys and Undyne were nice gals and he had no problem with them but well…they were more Papyrus’ friends. He didn’t really know why he had been invited or what he would be doing there. It’s not like he shared their enthusiasm for everything they did. Just hearing Papyrus talking about all the things they did whenever he spent time with them made him feel tired. Maybe he could hold an interesting conversation with Alphys, they shared the same passion for science and Sans wouldn’t mind even visiting her lab. But she was also always so nervous and anxious that, the few times he had talked with her, the conversation just slowly and awkwardly drifted off to an expectant silence. Then she would just stammer some excuse and leave.

And Undyne, well…the most usual topics of their conversations were his slacking off at his sentry posts and Papyrus’ coolness. Last time he had attended a party where she was in –the costume party, woah time flies- she had challenged him to a boulder suplexing contest. He had the feeling that it wasn’t what she had originally planned when she had approached him but she just blurted it out, as an icebreaker perhaps. He had blinked, looking around to see if she was indeed talking to him and when everyone was just looking at him expectantly, he just shrugged.

Needless to say, he fell asleep when Undyne was on her fifth boulder suplex.

He faintly remembered snuggling into Papyrus’ arms as he carried him home hours later but that was about it.

Looking back, Sans’ grin softened, watching Papyrus still busying himself with fondness. He did have a lot of good memories with Papyrus. Even before he had ruined everything. From their silly little games to their carefree affections, always caring for each other. It had always been just them. It was a lifetime together.

He had been such a fool to think Papyrus would remain unaffected. A fool to think things would remain the same as if they really were. He had underestimated his brother-he found that even with how much he believed in Papyrus, he still managed to underestimate him now and then- and in all his efforts to protect him, to keep him safe, he had still hurt him. Deeply. He knew there were times when Papyrus would look at him differently, as if assuring himself that things really were different and not the ‘same’.

And he still hated himself for that.

Every time he looked back, he was startled by the reality that ‘same’ hadn’t been a long time ago. ‘Same’ had been months and months of darkness and silence; ‘same’ had been his increasing misery and Papyrus’ realization. ‘Same’ had been him being a worthless coward, too deep in his own comfort zone, too focused on himself, punishing himself for all his flaws and sins and yet still shamefully indulging in those same flaws and sins while Papyrus went along with ‘same’, confused but with always the best of intentions.

‘Same’ had been a dangerous path. A path that led to an unbearable and self consuming state of uselessness, of powerlessness. A path that had been utterly destroying him.

He still didn’t really know much about souls and a lot about them still remained a mystery to monsters. He knew it was part of Alphys’ research, by King Fluffybuns’ demand. There wasn’t much to be heard from here on that aspect. She didn’t seem to have much success. It was something just too intricate and deeply woven into their beings to be so easily understood. It was as if searching for the meaning of their existence. There were too many theories. Sometimes he wondered if he should talk to someone about it, if it would make a difference.

But then he would look at Papyrus, so happy and full of life and any thoughts of going _back_ vanished. He had said he was going to try.

Papyrus hadn’t made him try. He had made him _do_ it.

And if he owed his brother anything, it was definitely everything. If there was a reason he was standing here now and he didn’t have the urge to lock himself in his bedroom, like the self absorbed wretch he had become, it was because Papyrus had stomped his foot on it and still gently stretched his hand out to him at the same time.

No, he didn’t deserve Papyrus. Sans didn’t think he ever will. But Papyrus more than deserved him, even if he couldn’t understand why he would want him to begin with.  

In Grillby’s words, if his brother found worth in him then he wasn’t completely worthless.

His ketchup bottle had been almost emptied while he mused and as so, didn’t notice that Papyrus had cleaned the whole house and was now heading towards him, mop in hand. Sans looked up at him lazily, the widening of his grin now an almost instantaneous response to having his brother near.

“EXCUSE ME, DEAR!”

He only made a small noise of surprise –still groggy from his early awakening- as Papyrus picked him up and carried him towards the couch. He sighed at the instant warmth but quickly berated himself for showing clinginess. Stars, this really wasn’t healthy. After so long, he was so starved for Papyrus’ attention, for his affection that now whatever he got felt too wonderful. He just wanted to get lost in it.

He was gently put down on the couch –oh it really was looking much cleaner- and his eyes followed Papyrus as he returned to the spot he had been in and promptly cleaned it too. Sans shook his head, letting out a chuckle. Papyrus really was always so rigorous with himself, always wanting be the best in whatever he did. Whenever he put his mind on something, nothing could stop him.

No matter how many times Sans had discreetly shunned him away, avoided him –wow, he really had been shitty…- made half assed excuses, Papyrus had never ever given up on him.

His grin softened, leaning on the armrest and watching his brother being satisfied with his work, putting his hands on his hips and nodding. Papyrus noticed he was being watched and gave him a bright smile, putting the mop away and heading to the kitchen. Sans could still see him from the couch, as the kitchen was connected to the living room by an open archway. Papyrus put on his apron and checked on the spaghetti being cooked. He stirred the noodles and brought one to his mouth for a taste test, humming. A few more minutes and they would be ready.

“BREAKFAST SHOULD BE ALMOST READY!!”

Sans stood up and headed towards the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Papyrus’ waist from behind and nuzzled into his back, sighing. He felt Papyrus jump slightly at it but quickly settled into the embrace, leaning back slightly.

“do you want me to help?”

It really was something that baffled them both sometimes, how Sans was slowly but surely becoming more active and wanting to do things. And if those things were with Papyrus, the better.

Papyrus’ smile softened, his hands moving to meet Sans’ and intertwining their fingers, tenderly caressing them. The small, ever flowing manifestations of their energies sent tiny, pleasant tingles up their arms.

“IT’S ALMOST READY, SANS! BUT THANK YOU!!”

Sans hummed, feeling himself slowly waking up now as they just stood there. Papyrus would stir the noodles now and then, adding some seasoning with one arm and still caressing his hands at his waist with the other. All the rich scents around him reminded him of Papyrus somewhat and he made a mental note to spend more time with Papyrus in the kitchen. He knew it would make him happy. And it was one more excuse to indulge himself in his love’s presence, to hold him and just be with him. He decided he would try just a little more to make an effort, just to never see that wonderful smile falter.

What a sap he had become. If he kept going like this, they would outshine dog marriage.

And that wasn’t something he would pride himself in. He didn’t want them to be nose nuzzling champions –he didn’t even think they were anatomically able to? well…where were their noses? – after all.

 The sounds of boiling water and Papyrus’ wooden spoon scraping the bottom of the pot now and then lulled him into a good mood and he slowly slid his arms out of their hold around the other’s waist, moving to stand beside him. Papyrus gave him a curious glance as he seemingly examined all the utensils laid out on the counter that Papyrus often used.

“you going to give the lasagna another shot?”

Papyrus’ eyes narrowed for a second, being reminded of his first lasagna’s fate but then sighed, smiling down at him.

“OF COURSE I WILL!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS ISN’T SO EASILY DEFEATED!!!”

Sans buried his hands in his pockets, grin widening.

No. He definitely wasn’t.

After the spaghetti was ready, he helped his brother set up the table, not even using his magic for it. Papyrus placed a small skeleton kiss to the top of his skull in thanks and they both sat down, serving themselves and started eating. They both had a busy day ahead: Sans still had his jobs to attend to and Papyrus had his puzzles and morning/afternoon patrol. While Sans still didn’t feel like going outside and work, it also didn’t feel as painful, now that he had something to look forward to whenever he returned home. It really made him a bit ashamed that he was only thinking so now than him and Papyrus had cleared the air around them-something that was more his fault than anyone else’s- and were establishing a bond that went beyond what he imagined but had also wanted. He still didn’t really know what to make of their relationship now, it was all so new and foreign but also familiar and comfortable. They were more than used to each other and taking this one more step forward just didn’t feel as strange as Sans thought it would be. Perhaps he did think too much into it, but, given the circumstances…and the monster in question, he couldn’t be too careful.

It was one thing if he had developed these…feelings, this yearning for any other monster and he did feel small attachments and attraction to other monsters before, he just never really cared to pursue them, never had an actual interest. But…when those feelings started being directed at Papyrus, someone he cherished more than everyone, someone he had shared his whole life with, someone who had always been there with him, anywhere and anytime, someone that he admired more than anyone else…he couldn’t even begin to take it in. He couldn’t even process those feelings and tried ignoring them to the best of his abilities. He tried not to care, like he always did.

But he failed miserably. And it just went downhill from there. He had tried to stop it but like always, he was powerless. No, not powerless. Selfish.

Deep down, he hadn’t really wanted to stop. Deep down, he really hadn’t cared.

He hadn’t cared whenever his eyes, his hands, his thoughts would stray. He hadn’t cared, as long as he could secretly keep doing it and still keep his brother safe and oblivious –or so he had thought.

He had just given in. Turned himself into the darkness and the silence, into his own self made alternate reality where he could just…touch and talk to Papyrus as if he didn’t have these feelings that would slowly choke him up and prevent him from doing so in actual reality. Or…whatever timeline this was.

He was so messed up…

“Sans.”

He blinked, realizing that he had been stuck in the same position –twirling his fork and wrapping the remaining spaghetti on his plate around it and leaning his face on his fist, tiny pupils hazy and staring blankly ahead- for the while he had been spacing out and Papyrus was looking at him with a gentle but slightly worried smile, probably being finished with his own meal for some time now.

What was wrong with him today?

What was wrong with him?

Things were much different now. If he wanted it to work –which he certainly did- then he couldn’t lose himself in these thoughts anymore. He didn’t need to. He wasn’t alone. He never was.

He finally brought that last forkful to his mouth, chewing it and hummed, trying to give his grin a carefree tilt once again.

“yea, bro?”

Papyrus’ eyes searched him for a second but his smile then brightened. He really didn’t know what that meant but his soul felt lighter somehow. It was as if he had passed some sort of test.

Papyrus reached out and caressed his cheek. Sans leaned into it, arching a brow curiously but wouldn’t question how affectionate Papyrus really became in a relationship. He had wondered it, once. Tortured himself imagining his brother happy with someone else. He had no doubt whoever it was would be the luckiest being in the world. He had no doubt Papyrus would put his soul and being and dedicate himself to that one person and their relationship. He had no doubt Papyrus would be the most wondrous, loving companion anyone could ever ask for.

He had never really thought that person was to be him.

And he had been right. He really felt like the luckiest being in the world. He felt like fate had smiled down upon him, for once.

“Nothing.” He finally answered, leaning down and bumping their mouths together. Sans was more than happy to sink into the kiss; all of his stormy thoughts wiped away by a bright orange light. He would return to them again, one day, faulty being that he was. But it was enough for today.

For now, nothing else matters.

They parted and Sans almost didn’t want to. He felt the now lively pulse deep within him asking for more and he contained it. Patience. Steady. They would figure it out together. He was more than content to wait for Papyrus, to let him set the pace of that one step on his own. They would know when the time would be right.

He took a ketchup packet from his pocket and sipped on it, still sitting at the table while Papyrus started washing the dishes. He hummed his little silly tune, swaying his hips now and then and Sans tried to look anywhere but at him and his innocent and rhythmic movements. Papyrus did that all the time, why was he suddenly so bothered by it?

Oh, right.

Meanwhile, Papyrus was more than aware of his little dancing, even if it had come naturally to him. One of the pages of the ‘Dating Book’ had said that ‘teasing’ was a nice way to ease off tension and build up a different kind, something that would give them time to decide what they were going to do while also experimenting with it. He didn’t really understand what that had meant much but it had said that dancing could be a form of ‘teasing’ and since it was something that he did sometimes almost mindlessly, he didn’t see any harm in it.

Taking a peek at Sans calmly sipping on his ketchup, he felt…what? Disappointed? No, that was not it. Perhaps confused. Maybe Sans just didn’t find it appealing. He would have to scratch it off his little list, right beneath ‘surprise massage’. The little song in his head was something upbeat and cheerful and it was easy to get swept by it. He happily remembered himself that he would probably hear it soon, since it was from “Mew Mew Kissy Cutie”. He really couldn’t wait!!

“…cute…”

He blinked, stilling for that bit. He could have swore that Sans had mumbled that. He turned and gave him a curious look but also a little pleased. Maybe it had been working after all!!

Realizing that he had been heard, Sans’ cheeks colored faintly, eyes immediately looking away.

“DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, SANS???”

There really was that different kind of tension the book had mentioned and Papyrus really was trying out new territory. Sans also didn’t see any reason to lie and, with blush slightly deepening, he answered.

“…i said cute. you looked cute.”

Papyrus blinked, taking in the response and immediately felt warmth on his cheeks as well. He wasn’t expecting that! Well, he was...but also wasn’t! What was he supposed to say to that?? The book hadn’t told him!!

And he didn’t consider himself cute! He was great! He was incredibly handsome!

But he could recognize a compliment when he saw one and knew it had taken a lot for Sans to voice his appraising like that.

“O-OH!! T-THANK YOU!! …?”

Sans chuckled, trying to tone down the cold in his cheeks. Stars, why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut –he he, that was funny because his mouth had been shut, like always.

“don’t mind me, paps. i’m just being a-“

“WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK OF ME???”

Sans’ eyes widened as Papyrus finished washing the dishes and was now approaching him, gloved hands wringing somewhat nervously in front of him and gaze expectant.

Was…was it really okay?

“uh…whaddya mean by that, paps?”

Papyrus seemed to be rethinking what he had said, his gaze showing a little doubt as he now stood directly in front of him. He gave a little sigh, smile still wavy with nervousness but also cheerful.

And then it clicked on Sans and he almost berated himself.

“AM I JUST ‘CUTE’ ?? OH, NEVERMIND, SANS- !!”

Sans stood up and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Papyrus’ answer had been cut off by a small yelp of surprise, looking down at Sans with curiosity. His unoccupied hand was still inside his pocket, grip tight and still telling himself to not do anything stupid.

“i think you’re… _’boneful’._ ”

And then he winked, grin tilting in a lazy smirk.

A few seconds of silence stretched as Papyrus’ blush deepened, finding himself speechless for once. He really couldn’t decide whether to be outraged by Sans making a pun even at a moment like this or feel flattered and flustered. He could feel his soul heating up, the unfamiliar pace that set in beats slowly becoming more familiar. He only felt this way when he was with Sans, this close and intimate. He was still very much aware of the gentle hold on his waist.

And, well, it felt really good, if he was honest. There was a silly playfulness in Sans’ words and gestures but also an underlying…sensuality? Was that in the book? He was sure that it was, that book went beyond these fairly innocent caresses and compliments, he shyly recalled. Really, in comparison, they were still nervously experimenting around the boundaries, still not sure what to do.

Maybe he could ask Undyne or Alphys for advice again…

“sorry, paps, that was lame.”

He blinked, noticing that Sans didn’t seem so sure of himself either anymore. That wouldn’t do!

“It wasn’t that bad!!”

He slid a hand underneath the other’s chin and gently tilted it up, his other resting on Sans’ chest, feeling the answering, pleasant coldness. Golly, Sans felt so alive, so intense. He could feel his magic, his energy right beneath his fingertips. It was…intoxicating.

They really should be going. They had duties to attend to.

He gasped as Sans gripped his wrist, the sight familiar. Their roles had been reversed. The cold beneath his hand increased, the blue glow more than visible beneath the shirt and between his fingers. Sans’ purest form of being was right there, exposed to him. Power sizzled and crackled up his fingers and a particular jolt had him jumping slightly, a spark of increasing pleasure awakening his own soul to it and he shuffled impossibly closer, making Sans sit back down on the chair once again. The grip on his wrist loosened slightly, stubby fingers moving in small caresses and another jolt was sent. A small, almost imperceptible moan escaped Papyrus, burying his face on the crook of Sans’ neck. He couldn’t care less that their position was a little awkward and uncomfortable, him having to lean and bend down so much to be able to do so. This felt new and wonderful and it was from Sans and he didn’t want him to stop.

He really didn’t know how Sans was doing it. He could feel within himself the urge to do the same but he lacked the knowledge. This was Sans’ power but it wasn’t hurting him. Far from it.

“O-Oh, Sans...! You feel…amazing!”

Sans closed his eyes, hold on Papyrus’ waist tightening. Stars, he had never done this…but it had just felt so right. Exposing himself like this was bad and he would probably regret it greatly later. But for now, he didn’t want to let go.

Papyrus’ fingers moved, curling on his shirt and holding it tightly. Another jolt and Papyrus let out another small moan, resting a knee on the chair, on the space between Sans’ legs. The hand on Papyrus’ waist slowly, tentatively slid up his spine and it arched. His whole body was becoming too warm and Sans felt too cold. He craved it and pressed himself closer, his free hand holding on tight to Sans’ shoulder.

Sans groaned, his left eye flashing from having unleashed his magic.

“…we shouldn’t be doing this.”

He could sense Papyrus’ soul almost bursting, overwhelmed with the new sensations and use of energy. He hadn’t meant to push Papyrus so far and he was about to put a stop to it, when he heard another moan –stars, he hadn’t ever imagined such a sound even in his darkest fantasies. Their chests were practically touching and Papyrus was almost straddling him.

“I…can feel something…it’s…close.”

Papyrus then really climbed on his lap and he couldn’t help but groan again, looking up dazedly to see Papyrus had raised his face from his neck and had his brows furrowing in a special kind of concentration. His half lidded gaze looked hazy but still focused. Sans let go of his hold on Papyrus’ wrist, damning it all to Hell, and joined his other hand at the other’s back, clinging tight to the battle body. He kept caressing his spine, shamefully taking in the delightful shivers and jostles and small little sounds of pleasure.

“Hmm…! S-Sans! Wha-?”

“just…let me take care of it.”

He didn’t need reciprocation, this was all about Papyrus. He really shouldn’t have let his soul manifest itself in such a way but the ‘damage’ was done now.

He sent another, stronger jolt and Papyrus’ soul glowed brighter than ever, gasping. His hips had ground against the other’s lap unconsciously and Sans cursed, not really wanting to torture himself in that _way_ too, and his hands flew to still Papyrus’ hips.

“Unnnf…S-Sans…this feels…I can’t…-!”

And with another almost encouraging jolt, Papyrus stilled completely, eyes falling closed and his soul engulfed them in a bright orange light. Sans’ power gently backed away and let Papyrus bask in the feeling of being exposed to his own purest of forms. If his mind wasn’t already sullied with the filthiest of sins, he would almost feel proud of himself for helping Papyrus in discovering himself in such a beautiful way. His soul was perfect and it radiated a soothing warmth that could now rival against his slightly more aggressive but pleasantly calm cold.

Papyrus slumped against him and Sans successfully attempted to tone down his erratic soul, his own much deeper desire unfulfilled. And it would stay that way.

“W-Wowie…”

Sans chuckled –it sounded a bit strained but it was genuine. He couldn’t believe they had just done this.

“are you ok, paps?”

And then Papyrus raised himself up, looking at Sans with one of the happiest expressions he had ever seen in him. He seemed to be caught in amazement.

“I’M MORE THAN OK!!! I FEEL WONDERFUL!!”

Sans blush deepened. He couldn’t help but wonder if Papyrus would still be this energetic after the real deal.

…Probably.

Papyrus grabbed hold of his hands and brought them up to his mouth, giving them an adoring kiss.

And as if something had clicked, Papyrus was up and out of his lap, eyes wide.

“SANS, WE’RE SO LATE!!! WE SHOULD HAVE GONE OUT RIGHT AFTER WE ATE BREAKFAST!!!”

As Papyrus practically ‘spazzed’ out in the background, adjusting his scarf and costume and looking absolutely flustered, Sans leaned back on the chair and searched his pockets for a ketchup packet, disheartened when he didn’t find any.

He could really use one right now.

He would scream internally at himself later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I got too carried away. 
> 
> Pajama party next! Oh boi! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter! ☆(◒‿◒)☆ Please, enjoy the fifteenth chapter! <3
> 
> A huuuge thank you and shoutout to bonesinner for the [masterpiece](http://bonesinner.tumblr.com/post/139643221656/it-took-me-more-time-than-what-i-expected-to-be) she has bestowed to this fic. Words cannot describe just how grateful I am. (●´ω｀●)

Night was falling when Sans arrived home. Shuffling his way inside, he could hear Papyrus’ usual ruckus in the kitchen and his tired grin lightened up, shutting the front door. He didn’t need to announce himself as Papyrus instantly peeked from the kitchen entrance, smiling.

“WELCOME HOME, SANS!! HOW WAS YOUR DAY??”

Sans made his way towards Papyrus’ open arms and slumped into the embrace, sighing. This really was worth looking forward to. This day had been crazy and he knew it wasn’t over yet but for now he let himself empty his mind for this one moment, feeling Papyrus’ arms around him and his around Papyrus. He hummed, nuzzling against the warmth of his brother’s chest, hearing the faint but strong beats that were the embodiment of the other’s soul and energy. They felt different. Complete.

His grin softened. He had scolded himself enough about what happened but truth was he couldn’t regret it, no matter how persistently his self hateful, reason led mind kept berating him for doing so. He had followed his soul for once and it had been wonderful. He just wanted to sink into the feeling and never let go. He was home.

“not bad, paps. not bad at all.”

Papyrus gave him a squeeze, leaning down and placing a skeleton kiss on his cheek. Sans closed his eyes and squeezed back. Stars, it was always so hard to convince himself that this was not a dream. That in the blink of an eye everything wouldn’t be taken away.

His hold tightened for a moment, fear tainting his mind for that one second. But as quickly as it came, it was gone. The scent of spaghetti was still there. Papyrus was still here. He was still home.

“GREAT!! I’M MAKING SPAGHETTI SO WE CAN BRING DINNER WITH US TO THE PAJAMA PARTY!!!”

They let go of each other and Sans looked up, tilting his head. He chuckled, stuffing his hands inside his pockets.

“i think they will like that.”

Papyrus ‘nyeh’d’ in a matter of fact way, making his way back towards the kitchen, boasting as he went.

“OF COURSE THEY WILL!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL PROVIDE THEM THE MOST BALANCED OF MEALS!!!!”

Sans didn’t even dare to think otherwise, plopping down on the couch and turning on the TV to see what was on. It wasn’t Tuesday or Friday so no MTTV specials but he settled for a cheesy, predictable soap opera that Mettaton has been working on for some time now. Sans actually got some amusement from being always right on who was cheating on who and who was the father. It was hilarious.

And the murderer was the butler, of course.

He snorted as he saw Mettaton dressed as a butler holding his hands up, arrogant expression on his face and monologue about how he was about to get away with it if it wasn’t for the protagonist (Mettaton dressed as a detective).

“i knew it.” He whispered, eyes narrowed.

“SANS!”

He had been so focused on the soap opera he didn’t notice Papyrus standing beside the couch, leaning a hip on the armrest. He was drying his hands with a kitchen rag and Sans turned to him lazily, grin widening.

“yea, bro?”

Papyrus seemed amused for a second, looking between him and the soap opera but then frowned and put his hands on his hips.

“WHY AREN’T YOU GETTING YOURSELF READY??? WE’RE LEAVING SOON!!”

Right. The pajama party.

He blinked and turned off the TV, standing up.

“i’m going, i’m going.”

“YOU COULD AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE EXCITED!”

Sans stopped immediately, looking up with an eyebrow raised. Papyrus had sounded genuinely bothered, underneath his normal nagging tone. He was looking down at the floor, hands wringing the kitchen rag in a mix of frustration and self consciousness and Sans’ grin wavered. Was he being that obvious?

“…paps?”

Papyrus sighed, giving him a sheepish look as his smile wavered. He seemed to want to say something but was preventing himself from doing so, stammering something else instead.

“I K-KNOW IT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU USUALLY DO FOR FUN BUT…”

He drifted off then and Sans shuffled closer to him, hands reaching for the ones still wringing the kitchen rag. He felt warm, as always but his newly and fully awakened soul seemed uneasy. He knew Papyrus was probably being exposed to new feelings, feelings much more complex than the ones he was used to and Sans felt conflicted.

“…It’s been so long…”

Sans’ eyes widened as Papyrus’ shoulders slumped, his hands dropping the kitchen rag to cling to his, thumb tenderly caressing his palm. He knew Papyrus had hidden from him, in his own way, too. He had hidden how hurt and lonely he had really felt while Sans wasted away on his own thoughts, had hidden all the confusion and bittersweet acceptance of the state of their relationship. He had hidden it all behind his gentle gaze and cheerful smile and silly, energetic disposition.

And he knew it had all been hidden because he thought it was best.

Sans really resented those times and if he could go back, he would have shook his past self until he woke up and snapped out of it. He would have done something that he never did, he would have screamed and yelled all his frustration at his past self, would have done so until he finally got the message across.

That he was truly an idiot.

Papyrus chuckled, his smile tilting up as he straightened himself, expression slowly going back to normal.

“NEVERMIND THAT, SANS, LET’S JUST- !!”

“i wish you didn’t have to go through all that. it was _fucked_  up.”

Papyrus’ breath hitched, eyes widening at Sans’ words.

“S-SANS, L-LANGUAGE-!!!”

Sans’ eyes crinkled at the corners, grin widening sadly.

“paps, please. you don’t need to pretend anymore.”

It was as if something clicked within Papyrus. His eyes widened even more, being faced with the familiar words of a past that wasn’t so distant. And that was scary. He didn’t want to go back to that past. He wanted this future to be him and Sans, together like always. _Really_ together.

He sighed, leaning down and resting his head on Sans’ shoulder for a bit. The weariness of it all was starting to show and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want Sans to start worrying only over him again. He wanted to be strong like Sans.

He felt a hand caressing the back of his skull, just like he usually did to Sans and he felt a strange urge to laugh. But he didn’t. He didn’t actually want to laugh. He just wanted Sans to be with him, being his charming, lazy self that he loved so much and would never change. He wanted to forget what had happened.

But that would never be possible. And he didn’t think he should. He should remember what had happened. He should hold tightly to those memories and revisit them from time to time.

So that they wouldn’t repeat themselves ever again.

“don’t ever be afraid of telling me what you think. _please.”_

He raised his face from the other’s shoulder and his eyes searched Sans’ expression. His tiny pupils were still there, trembling but very much lucid and his grin was a genuine, encouraging one. He raised a hand to the other’s cheek, his own smile gaining strength.

“Oh Sans…it’s not that, it’s just…it’s silly. I have no reason to but sometimes I have my own doubts as well.”

He seemed almost ashamed for saying that and Sans shook his head.

“you do have your reasons, paps. i’m sorry for being a shit brother.”

“Sans…”

“i’m sorry for being a shit companion.”

“Sans!!”

Sans looked up, raising an eyebrow at Papyrus’ more than outraged call. Wasn’t he saying the truth after all?

He was pulled into an embrace –the second one today, amazing- and Papyrus breathed in deeply.

“Sans, you’re the best brother and companion I could ever ask for. What really hurts is hearing you say things like that…”

Sans’ form trembled slightly, hands raising to clutch tightly at the back of Papyrus’ battle body, bringing him closer. He wished they didn’t need to have these kind of conversations but there was just so much left unsaid. He just never wanted to talk, never wanted to bother himself and others. He preferred to have these conversations with himself, safe and secluded in the depths of his mind. Where no one could tell him that he was wrong, that he wasn’t being reasonable.

That he wasn’t being himself.

“Sometimes I just…I just think I’ll never be good enough or strong enough. I want to be with you but…sometimes I think you don’t want me to.”

Sans raised his head in an immediate reaction, chuckling in disbelief.

“papyrus, that’s -!”

“ –Ridiculous, isn’t it?”

Yes. Absolutely.

Their chuckles bubbled up into a light laughter, Papyrus leaning down to nuzzle Sans’ neck. Sans closed his eyes, grin tilting up peacefully. He could feel such a strong connection with Papyrus now. It was as if words were necessary but no longer obligatory. A simple gaze, a simple smile, a simple shift was all that it took. It wasn’t as hard to give himself so completely anymore. He no longer feared it as much either. There was no one he trusted more than Papyrus and if there was someone he would expose himself and his feelings to at all times, it was him. He had been sure of it a long time ago. He just never really had the guts –he he, nice one- to acknowledge it.

And Papyrus was also feeling much better now that his doubts had been voiced and soothed down. They really sounded preposterous and he was faced with the reality of how Sans has probably been feeling: this ever present nagging background voice that kept reminding you of your flaws and insecurities, that kept telling you that you weren’t that great.

But he was great!! At the end of the day, it was just a silly little voice that was simply there because you let it be. It was a part of yourself.

He had another voice, deep and with a lazy drawl, lovingly proving that nagging little voice wrong. And this voice was very much real.

So, logically, its words were much more real too.

“what would i do without a cool bro like you.”

Papyrus giggled and squeezed Sans, lifting him up in the process. Sans made a little sound of surprise before he chuckled too, flinging his arms around Papyrus’ neck and leaning up, being now at a good enough range to initiate a kiss. He bumped their mouths together, both closing their eyes. Papyrus felt different now, the sparks of their kiss felt much more intense and his soul was practically beaming. He had the faint suspicion that it was about what had happened this morning and his cheeks colored faintly, the memory of it making him recall all the wonderful sensations he had gotten from it. He _really_ wouldn’t mind doing that again but it had felt very one sided. He had the notion that what they had done had been a pretty big deal and he had felt some hesitation on Sans’ part, despite having started it. But he had never felt so close to him. The absolute feeling of bliss in the end had him craving for more. He hoped it hadn’t spooked Sans off, in a way. He was aware that Sans was still tip toeing around him in these sort of things and even if he was confused, he wanted to know and experience more. He wanted Sans to show him everything. He knew there was much more beyond that and if it had felt _that_ amazing…

They parted and he let Sans slide down to rest his feet on the floor. He grabbed his hand and placed a tender skeleton kiss on it, his lazy grin and loving gaze directed towards him.

“c’mon, let’s go get ready then.”

Papyrus looked to the side, smile softening.

“SANS, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GO, IT’S FINE!! I’M SURE THEY WOULDN’T MIND.”

“i want to. don’t worry.”

Papyrus’ smile brightened, not questioning him anymore and nodded. He would have been saddened if Sans didn’t go with him but he would have understood. But now, he just felt excited once again that he was going to spend time with his dear friends and sweetheart. He wondered what they were going to do.

They both headed towards their respective bedrooms, putting on their pajamas: Papyrus is usual light orange one and Sans his old light blue striped pajama set that he didn’t use for a long time now. He usually couldn’t be bothered to change into pajamas as he just took off his hoodie jacket and shorts (on a good day, otherwise he just passed out as soon as he hit the mattress, fully clothed). They grabbed their pillows and blankets and carried them underneath their arms.

Papyrus giggled, seeing Sans in his pajamas had become such a rare sight. He looked positively adorable, all ready for bed and his normal lazy expression more than complimented the look. He sighed as some of the buttons of his shirt were misplaced and went over to him to correct that. Sans looked down as if surprised that he had made such a mistake and chuckled, blushing slightly as Papyrus’ long, slender fingers unbuttoned the buttons at the bottom of his shirt to then button them up correctly. He nodded in satisfaction and gave him a skeleton kiss on his forehead before they both headed down the stairs and opened the front door.

They went off, hand in hand and as close to each other as they could.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the Lab at a pretty reasonable time since they took the River Person’s boat. Papyrus gave a few firm and loud knocks on the metallic surface of the Lab’s door and they immediately heard a crash from the other side, accompanied by Undyne’s loud laughter and Alphys’ stammering as she hurriedly made her way to press the button that opened the door.

As the door opened, Undyne immediately pounced on Papyrus and gave him a noggie to the top of his skull, both of them breaking into obnoxious laughter and Papyrus started trying to wrestle his way out of her hold. Sans watched them with the same normal expression but inside he was already counting his blessings.

“H-Heya, guys!”

He turned to Alphys who was standing at the door dressed in a pink night gown littered with tiny yellow hearts. Undyne was already in her night wear too, dressed in her simple black tank top and red shorts.

He made a move to stuff his hands inside his pockets but awkwardly realized that his pajamas didn’t have any so he just kept holding his pillow and blanket.

Welp. That meant no ketchup packets.

He hadn’t thought this through.

His lazy grin didn’t betray his awkwardness.

“sup.”

They both waited for Papyrus and Undyne to settle down –Sans wondered if he would have to say something- and when they did, he wheezed in surprise as Undyne slapped him _hard_ on his back.

Sweet ketchup, that had knocked the wind out of him.

“Sans!! So you did show up, you lazybones!”

He saw Alphys giving him an apologetic look before he turned towards Undyne, shrugging.

“yup.”

Undyne crossed her arms, nodding. He found it amusing how she and Papyrus had a few similar mannerisms.

“Good!”

Noticing that they were still all just standing outside, Alphys blushed in embarrassment and stepped aside, stammering out a welcome.

“Oh! S-Sorry! Please, come in!”

They did so and Sans looked around the place, taking notice of all the high technology the whole place was built on. It was fascinating. Alphys probably had some pretty impressive equipment in here.

They went to her bedroom where the TV was already on and there was a massive collection of DVD cases spread on the floor in front of it, all of them colorful and with weird pictures. Probably the ‘anime’ Papyrus had told him about. Seems like Undyne and Alphys had already been watching it before they arrived.

Undyne promptly plopped down on the couch in front of the TV and started going through the DVD cases, probably to pick one to watch. Alphys gestured to the space behind the couch and between her own bed where a sleeping bag was placed.

“Y-You can drop your stuff here. I only have one sleeping bag, if you g-guys don’t mind sharing. Sorry about that!”

From her place on the couch, Undyne snorted.

Sans shrugged, dropping his pillow and blanket and Papyrus did the same but taking care to readjust both his and Sans’ bedding. He smiled reassuringly at Alphys, giving her a thumbs up.

“NO PROBLEM AT ALL, ALPHYS!! ME AND SANS DON’T MIND!!!

Alphys seemed visibly relieved at that and smiled back. Papyrus then proudly presented the spaghetti container he had brought, handing it to her.

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS ALSO BROUGHT DINNER!! IT’S MY FAMOUS AND DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI!!!”

Alphys accepted it and Undyne looked back at them from the couch, an expression of surprised satisfaction on her face.

“You brought the grub?? AWESOME!! I’M STARVING!”

Near the TV were empty cups of ramen but that had been their lunch since they had binge watched anime practically all day.

She stood up and walked to Alphys, taking the container and opening the lid. Warm, aromatic fumes were released from it and Undyne went to get them all plates and forks so they could eat.

As they sat on the floor, food equally distributed on their plates, Alphys seemed a bit unsure, since Undyne had told her that she was giving Papyrus ‘cooking lessons’.

Said cooking lessons that were the reason why Undyne was staying at her home for the moment, since her house was under repairs.

Noticing her hesitation, Undyne swallowed the forkful of spaghetti she had already shoved into her mouth and laughed.

“Eat up, Alphys! This is great stuff, even Sans said so! Didn’t you, Sans??”

They both looked at Sans, who blinked. Beside him, Papyrus was absolutely beaming with happiness from having his cooking praised and his cheeks were colored a faint orange as he was reminded of Sans’ encouraging words about it.

Noticing it, Undyne wiggled her eyebrows and Sans choked on his own forkful, coughing. Papyrus looked at him curiously, noticing Sans seemed slightly flustered about something. Was it because the attentions were directed towards him?

“THAT’S RIGHT!! MY SPAGHETTI IS NOTHING BUT THE BEST!!! YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE IT, ALPHYS!!!!”

Alphys was more than convinced as she took a bite of her own and the flavors hit her taste buds, the herbs giving a richness to the sauce that she couldn’t even describe.

“W-Wow! This is pretty good, Papyrus!”

She really hadn’t been expecting it.

Sans was back to normal, finishing his own meal and setting the plate aside. For someone who ate slowly, he had been the first to finish. The others had been caught in casual conversation: Papyrus gave a few cooking tips and Undyne talked about his training while Alphys added her opinion now and then. Sans just wanted to forget the looks Undyne would give him whenever Papyrus mentioned him.  What was up with that?

Papyrus insisted on washing the plates, just to clear some of the mess –Sans was much worse than them on that matter but still! When he returned, Undyne and Alphys were sitting in front of the TV while Sans had opted for the couch, resting his elbow on the armrest and leaning his cheek on his fist. Noticing that he was back, Undyne perked up, dropping the DVD case she had been holding.

“Hey, Papyrus! What do you say we play a game the four of us??”

Papyrus gasped, clapping in excitement.

“A GAME?? WOWIE!! OK!!!”

He sat down beside Sans on the couch and leaned forward in anticipation.

Undyne smirked at Alphys.

“Alphys taught me this one. It’s called Truth or Dare!! It’s funnier with more people though so that’s why I’m asking.”

Just by the name of it Sans knew it wouldn’t be good.

Papyrus became even more excited, always up to a game.

“SO WHAT ARE THE RULES??”

Alphys decided to explain that part.

“O-Oh, it’s very simple actually! We all have our turn of asking Truth or Dare to whoever we want to and the person who is asked has to choose between answering truthfully to a question or being dared into doing anything the other person says.”

Undyne smiled widely at that.

“Yeah! So no ‘wusses’ allowed!!”

Papyrus nodded, crossing his arms.

“THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS ACCEPTS IT!”

Both Undyne and Alphys turned to Sans who was watching them with the same expression.

“W-What about you, Sans? Are you in?”

At Papyrus’ expectant gaze, he chuckled, shrugging.

“sure, why not. sounds fun.”

They all beamed at that and Undyne and Alphys huddled closer to them.

“Alright!! So who’s first??”

Alphys searched for something in her pockets and took out a few slips of papers. One of them was shorter than the others. She gathered them all together and mixed them in her fist, holding them to the others.

“D-Don’t mind the scribbles on them, they’re just a few anime names t-that I had written down. The one that picks the shortest one is first.”

“Great idea, Alphys!!”

Alphys blushed slightly at the praise and everyone pulled out a strip.

The last one was Sans who had also pulled the shortest one. Undyne snorted.

“Guess it sympathized with you, shorty!!”

Even Papyrus let out a giggle, hiding it behind his hand.

Sans held the strip in two fingers, grin twitching slightly. Heh, he was a well humored guy, he could see how that had been funny. He chuckled and everyone was comfortable to laugh freely at the joke at his expense.

“S-So, who are you going to ask Truth or Dare?”

Sans hummed thoughtfully before shrugging. Papyrus wouldn’t stay still in his seat, gaze practically screaming ‘pick me!’.

“paps, truth or dare?”

“OH! OH! DARE!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN TAKE ON ANY CHALLENGE!!!”

Sans’ grin widened slowly as he leaned back on the couch.

“say a pun.”

The room got silent as Papyrus’ eyes widened, mouth open in shock. To have been lured to such an obvious trap!!

“SANS!! HOW DARE YOU??!”

Alphys chuckled, giving him a sympathizing look. Undyne laughed mercilessly.

“So?? Are you going to ‘wuss’ out, Papyrus?”

Papyrus seemed almost offended at that and crossed his arms, giving Sans one of his dirty looks. Sans had already built immunity to those though and just patiently waited.

Papyrus sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT!! I…I FELT IT IN MY BONES!!!”

Undyne fell backwards on the floor laughing at Papyrus’ utterly outraged face. That had been really painful to him!

Sans was simply satisfied with that classic one. This wasn’t that bad. He was having fun.

They switched turns, mainly asking harmless questions and doing silly dares, like Undyne’s obligatory boulder suplexes (dared by Alphys) and Papyrus asking who was the coolest (all of them agreed that it was him, it was undisputable).

It was at Undyne’s fourth turn that she had a curious glint in her eye.

“Papyrus! Truth or Dare??”

Papyrus seemed to think on it for a moment before answering.

“TRUTH!!”

Undyne smirked.

“Who is it that you love the most??”

Papyrus blinked before his cheeks colored slightly once again.

“OH!! THAT’S EASY!!!”

He flung an arm around Sans’ shoulders and pulled him close, their sides touching.

“SANS!!”

Alphys ‘awwed’ and Undyne gave them one of her trademark fanged grins. That really had been cute.

“heh. love ya too, bro.”

It was at Undyne’s fifth turn that she picked Sans, the curious glint in her eye still there.

“Sans!! Truth or Dare??”

Sans shrugged, choosing dare for once. He was the only one who hadn’t done one yet.

“dare.”

Undyne’s grin widened. Perfect!!

“I dare you to kiss Papyrus!! On the mouth!”

Their blushes were blatantly obvious then. Alphys stuttered out in shock in the background, adjusting her glasses and giving her an intrigued look.

Sans’ pupils had vanished in mortification but Papyrus didn’t seem as put off, turning to him expectantly. Sans turned to him too.

“S-SO?? ARE YOU GOING TO ‘WUSS’ OUT, SANS???”

It wasn’t really something that Sans would have a problem doing in public, their relationship would be known soon enough. It just had been so sudden.

He didn’t plan on making it a habit doing these things in front of other monsters. Especially out of a ‘dare’.

But he also didn’t want Papyrus to feel any kind of rejection. He would be more than happy to kiss him. Even if it had to be in front of Undyne and Alphys.

As so, he leaned forward and gently grabbed his cheeks, bumping their mouths together.

Alphys squeaked, blushing deeply and even Undyne felt warmth on her cheeks. Hey, they actually looked pretty good together.

Her gaze was drawn to the increasing glow beneath their shirts and her eye widened. Papyrus’ soul. It was…

What the heck???!

They had already formed a connection! A pretty deep one at that! When did that even happen??

She narrowed her eye at Sans as they parted and stood up. Alphys looked up at her, seeing her sudden serious expression.

“U-Undyne?”

She started walking out of the bedroom, calling out.

“Hey, Sans, can I talk to ya for a sec?”

This was why he had been hesitant to do it in the first place. He wasn’t really sure what awaited him now but he stood up anyway, nodding. Both Alphys and Papyrus gave them a worried and curious look respectively, their eyes following them as they got out of the room.

When she was sure they weren’t being heard, she nodded towards the front door.

“Let’s take this outside. I need some fresh air.”

Even if that ‘fresh air’ was the ever hot, heavy air of Hotland. Stars, she hated this place. The only reason she ever came here was because of Alphys. She didn’t like constantly having to drink water to keep herself hydrated.

Sans didn’t object, even if he was feeling slightly apprehensive at the situation.

This was really awkward.

As soon as they were outside, Undyne took a deep breath.

“Ok. What the hell was that?”

Sans shrugged. His pupils hadn’t reformed yet.

“what was what?”

Undyne made a noise that resembled a low growl, crossing her arms. She glanced at Sans, seeing him looking like his usual carefree, lazy self. It was slightly infuriating at the moment, to say the least.

“You know what I’m talking about. When you both kissed I noticed how Papyrus’ soul looked different. And I know damn well what kind of different that is.”

Sans raised his head to look up at her, grin twitching.

“it happened.”

Her eye widened in outrage, slitted pupil dilating.

“It HAPPENED?? Does Papyrus even KNOW just how serious your relationship has become??!”

Sans’ pupils reformed then, looking to the side shamefully.

“to an extent.”

“Are you even planning on TELLING him??!”

Sans frowned, grin twitching again.

“of course. we’re just taking our time.”

Undyne shook her head, looking at the ‘sky’ and sighing. She gave a dry chuckle, before she looked at him again, lip raising to bear a fang.

“You better say your prayers, Sans.”

Her hand moved swiftly, taking hold of his collar and raising him up, her words threatening. Sans’ pupils vanished, once again.

“ ‘Cuz if you hurt Papyrus, I swear -!!”

“l e t  g o  o f  m e .”

In shock, she did so reflexively, surprised even at the sudden chill that Sans’ unusually cold, guttural tone had given her.

He straightened his collar, looking up at her with his own empty gaze.

“you don’t need to give me the protective pep talk, undyne.”

His pupils finally reformed for good, his grin becoming relaxed once again despite there being a certain conflict in his expression still.

“i’ve been doing that to myself for years.”

She raised an eyebrow, opening her mouth to ask him just what he meant by that when they heard Alphys and Papyrus calling for them, probably wondering why they were taking so long.

She looked at Sans, giving him a final narrowed glance before she sighed. Her warning had been given, for all purposes. This felt all very surreal. She had been curious and she had had her suspicions but she never thought…

Sans gestured to the door.

“after you.”

She didn’t like having anyone behind her but she saw the gesture for what it was, polite and peace offering. It was easy to accept, this time.

Once they returned, Papyrus immediately questioned them, eyes narrowed playfully.

“WHAT WERE YOU BOTH TALKING ABOUT??”

Sans just plopped down on the couch once again, taking his seat beside Papyrus.

“no _fin_.”

There was another silence of disbelief –something that was usual after one of Sans’ puns- until Undyne snorted, not resisting a laugh. Papyrus was absolutely disgusted.

“SANS I SWEAR-!!”

He then added mournfully.

“NOT EVEN UNDYNE IS SAFE!!!”

Alphys tried holding her own laughter to no avail, holding a DVD case she had picked for them to watch.

It was the “Mew Mew Kissy Cutie” episode that Papyrus hadn’t watched yet.

Not even ten minutes in and Sans was already asleep, leaning comfortably on Papyrus’ shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Once they were all sleepy enough, they decided to call it a night. Papyrus carried Sans, shaking his head fondly at how tired his brother had been and laid him gently on the sleeping bag they were sharing, joining in too and covering them both with the covers. Undyne and Alphys shared the bed too, settling in cozily and they all said their goodnights.

Papyrus fell asleep with his usual smile on his face, feeling Sans moving to rest his head on top of his chest and wrapping an arm and leg around his torso and waist.

Once they were both snoring, Undyne shook Alphys, who was still awake and nodded towards them, holding a finger to her mouth in a shushing motion.

She then held up two black markers.

Quickly catching on to her intentions, Alphys put a hand on her mouth to muffle her giggle, accepting one of the markers. They approached them as quietly as they could and uncapped the markers, snickering quietly to themselves.

Alphys drew a thin curly moustache on Papyrus and wrote ‘Otouto’ * on his forehead with a little heart.

Undyne drew huge, nerdy glasses on Sans and wrote ‘Aniki’ * on his cheek.

They stood up, looking at their finished work proudly and nodded to each other, going back to bed. Undyne flung the covers over them both and they chuckled a bit more at how ridiculous but also cute they had both looked.

They couldn’t wait to see their faces in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Little Brother and Big Brother in Japanese, those weebs.
> 
> Well, this was quite intense. (´･ω･`)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, not too happy about this one. It feels more like a filler so I might tinker with it. Inner conflicts aside, please enjoy the sixteenth chapter! <3
> 
> Shoutout and all my love and thanks to blazestreakers117 (once again), amortem-kun (once again) and mischievousart for their precious, adorable and wonderful fanart: [here](http://blazestreakerz117.tumblr.com/post/140106898756/sans-folds-artwork-into-a-paper-airplane), [here](http://amortem-kun.tumblr.com/post/139974241405/heres-more-fanart-based-on-breaking-point) and [here](http://mischiveousart.tumblr.com/post/140090035455/blows-kiss-amor-guys-if-you-like-papysans-and)! Also, all my love to bonesinner (once again) for the absolutely gorgeous [sketches](http://bonesinner.tumblr.com/post/139883650846/i-was-going-to-post-this-earlier-but-i-took-a-nap)!! (╯3╰)
> 
> And a huge thank you to Asider for translating my work to Russian!! I am so honored! (´∀｀)
> 
> Thank you so much, you are all so lovely! ♥‿♥

The wind was strong and chilly yet its howling was unnaturally silenced. All around him, he could only see the vast whiteness of Snowdin’s wintery landscape, the thick, dark forest looming ahead. He looked down at himself, dressed in his usual outfit and felt the beginnings of that all too familiar sensation of misplacement, of…wrongness.

He was dreaming again.

For the past couple of days he had managed to keep his sleep blank and dreamless, peaceful in a way where he could be lost in a different kind of darkness; a darkness that granted him momentary rest and the still much needed seclusion from reality. Submersed in his own musings and constant thoughts of Papyrus and their blooming relationship, it had been easy to forget the other side of that darkness. Even then, his soul had been peacefully responsive, lulled by the remnants of companionship strengthening their newly formed connection, pulsing steadily inside him.

He couldn’t feel anything now and his movements didn’t feel like his own as he started walking. He wasn’t wandering like he usually did in his dreams. He wasn’t lost. There was a purpose in his steps that seem to get faster and faster, until he was eventually set in a power walk, hands tightening inside his pockets, the plastic of the few packets of ketchup crunching. In his own mind, Sans was questioning himself. He wasn’t in control.

This _dream_ was playing out more as a distant memory, and even though he was definitely sure he had never walked like this in the middle of Snowdin, where a deathly silence was thick and suffocating, he was also not sure it didn’t exactly happen. It wasn’t the first time he had this kind of perception of particular dreams but they were usually small fragments, remnants of what he theorized as alternate realities. If they were a simple conjuring of his tired, hopeless mind, or…something else entirely, he had no idea.

This, however, was certainly different. He never lost control of himself before, never had a set destiny and it was obvious this wasn’t just a simple fragment but a complete ‘piece’. Since he was powerless at the moment, he just let himself go with it, see what it had to show him. The atmosphere was certainly something to be wary of but strangely enough, he still didn’t feel anything. His own soul glowed gently but it felt icy and still.

He didn’t feel like himself.

This was him but also not…

The snow crunched as his hurried footsteps became heavy, the layers of it becoming higher and deeper and he had to make more of an effort to lift his legs. Still, he kept going, with an urgency that Sans was now starting to understand.

There could only be one reason for him to be acting like this.

*THACK!*

The sound reverberated across the whole zone and birds flew from their perches on the trees, scattering in distress. Sans was forced into a halt, his whole body becoming paralyzed as he listened, _praying_ to hear something else.

But he didn’t.

Only silence met him.

Deathly, lonely silence.

**_“…”_ **

He wanted to say something just to kill that silence but he couldn’t. The words were stuck at his throat, making it feel scratchy. A full minute passed before his legs resumed movement. It didn’t take long before his footsteps started slowing down, walking up a small hill to have even more snow spread out on the horizon. Far ahead, were the beginnings of the forest.

Sans, still a prisoner of this sudden unfolding of events, could only watch as a spot of vibrant red violently contrasted on the white, dancing with the wind on the ground.  He felt his grin widen, footsteps becoming even heavier until he was almost dragging himself towards it. The otherworldly will of this ‘memory’ was forcing him to do so but his soul was already crying out against it.

He didn’t want to see this.

He felt his pupils vanish, legs finally buckling and succumbing as he arrived, falling down on his knees. His hands caught him before he could fall head down on the dusty scarf and he stayed like that, his mind racing as to why this was happening yet deep down he knew the answer. He always did.

His hands trembled, grin softening in increasing sadness as his fingers dared to caress the rough fabric. Remnants of magic, _his_ essence weakly prickled the tips of his fingers. It was still warm.

Sans was raging inside, feeling his power bubbling up and sizzling in distress, wanting a target, something to blast to pieces. Nevertheless, he did none of that because it wasn’t what had happened. Instead, his fingers kept caressing the scarf, becoming more daring as he reverently brought it closer to himself. He willingly ignored the pile of dust near it but the scarf itself wasn’t as merciful and his hands were soon covered in it.

**_“i’m sorry.”_ **

In a way, his hands were really covered in that dust, not only literally. Inside, Sans was questioning his whereabouts when _this_ took place. Where was he? What had he been doing that it was more important than to prevent this??

The emptiness he was feeling inside was terrifying. It was something he had never felt before but he also knew it was very much real. Or…it had been.

He was still in a state of disbelief, knowing now that this could only be one of his nightmares. He wanted to believe that anyway. This…version of himself that seemed to control everything he was doing was sitting on his knees, caressing reverently a dusty red scarf with an empty gaze and grin, all too knowing of his guilt yet all he could do was utter an emotionless apology.

No…not version of himself. He could still recognize himself, in all his self pitying, worthless glory. This was him.

He dropped his head on the scarf in his hands, hood falling with the movement and covering his skull, burying his face on it and closing his eyes tiredly. His whole body shuddered, breathing in deeply as he kept it all in. Sans was overwhelmed. Such violence, such…hopelessness.

He could still catch his scent, the richness of spices giving a painful tang in his emptiness, something that he desperately tried to muffle and ignore. It felt all so real that Sans was starting to become true fully frightened, wondering if perhaps this really was reality finally hitting him back in all its cruelty. If he had really just lost… _him._

The scarf slipped from his fingers then and he slowly stood up. For a second, Sans could see himself, as if he was standing right in front of a mirror. Grin wide and unwavering, pupils slowly reforming and gaze shadowed by his hood, darkening his eye sockets so that his stark white tiny pupils contrasted in a way that Sans could only describe as accidentally sinister. Or perhaps not.

But that was for only just a moment. He was walking again, not once looking back, following the trail of dust and the smell of death. Sans wanted to protest, feeling as if he was abandoning his brother somehow. And perhaps he was.

The edges of his vision became hazy and a series of events flashed across his eyes, too quick for him to notice. This was what he already had experienced before as fragments. It seems this ‘piece’ wasn’t so complete after all. From what he could see it was a full on out deconstructed set of ‘memories’.

He saw gold.

He heard the birds singing.

He saw blue.

He heard the blasts of his own recognizable attacks; violent explosions loud and sharp.

…

He saw red.

He heard nothing.

* * *

 

Sans woke with a choked gasp, sitting up, one hand coming up immediately to cover his left eye that was flickering blue and yellow quickly, power unstable and still ready for battle; the remnants of the ‘dream’ still supplying him with flashing images now and then. His other hand clutched at his chest that was rising up and down, feeling his soul thankfully erratic and responsive.

He was alive.

It was just a _dream_.

Right?

“…Sans?”

His uncovered eye looked up in the direction of the voice, being faced with Undyne, who had probably woken up with him. She was a light sleeper, always ready for anything. She had a rare uncertain expression on her face, taking a tentative step towards him, her hands rising in a gesture of peace. Beside him, he felt Papyrus shift, probably unsettled by his sudden absence from his embrace.

Sans cleared his throat when he saw Undyne taking another step, raising his hand too in a reassuring gesture. Undyne didn’t seem convinced.

“sorry if i…huh…woke you up.” He whispered, not wanting to wake the others too. Unyne raised an eyebrow, glancing at Alphys who was also shifting inside her covers but a small snore confirmed that she was still sleeping.

“It’s alright.” She whispered back, crossing her arms and shrugging. “I was going to soon anyway.”

She was looking at his covered eye with a wary curiosity. The slight chill that had taken over Alphys’ bedroom had had her confused and she had heard a sharp gasp as she woke up, getting out of bed immediately in a practiced reflex. Seeing that nothing was amiss and yet Sans was looking so obviously distressed only confused her even more. She had never thought she would get to see Sans like this.

She nodded towards his hand covering his eye, frowning.

“Are you…ok?”

His grin twitched, uncovered eye looking to the side and he sighed almost imperceptibly. He took a chance to close his eyes then, little pinpricks of magic making his head hurt as he tried to calm down. His free hand rubbed his forehead and he nodded.

“yea. i’m fine, don’t worry. just a…weird dream.”

Undyne really wasn’t someone who was so easily convinced. Looking at Sans and seeing him like that made her really wonder if he was hiding something. He was always someone so impersonal; she didn’t know much about him. But now she was witnessing a small crack in that mask and she didn’t quite know how to respond to it. It was starting to become awkward.

That and also the events of yesterday kept nagging her to talk things over. Despite everything, she didn’t dislike Sans and he was deserving of respect. So, she sighed through her nose and sat down a few spaces in front of him, cross legged.

Sans raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t say anything and she narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms. Fair enough, she would have to swallow her pride this time.

“So…about yesterday.”

The glow beneath the hand Sans was using to cover his eye seemed to finally dissipate and he hesitatingly removed it. Undyne was faced with the emptiness of one eye socket before its pupil reformed too.  Her lips twitched as she tried to contain herself from laughing at the huge glasses that were still drawn on Sans’ face.

Sans tilted his head, waiting patiently for her to continue. She really was going to have to swallow her pride.

“I’m not going to apologize for it, if that’s what you’re expecting!”

Her voice had raised a bit from her whispering and Sans brought a finger to his grin in a shushing motion, nodding behind him towards the still sleeping Papyrus and Alphys. She huffed but nodded apologetically and continued on, looking him in the eyes fearlessly.

“I don’t regret it, I just acted that way because I thought it was best. I wanted to get the message across.”

In perfect timing, Sans felt an arm snake around his waist, tugging him closer to Papyrus. They were both startled, thinking he had woken up but it seemed it was an unconscious move as Papyrus snuggled closer to Sans’ side, snoring gently. Sans looked back at Undyne with what could only be perceived as a smug expression.

She almost felt betrayed.

She rolled her eye, sticking her tongue out meanly. Sans’ gaze softened, one hand resting on Papyrus’ skull and caressing it.

“look, i get it. i know you’re probably feeling confused and you only want to protect paps.”

He then looked down at the sleeping Papyrus and his grin softened as well. Undyne couldn’t help but feel slightly attenuated at all those loving gestures. They were all good signs that perhaps she didn’t need to worry so much.

He then looked back up at her, eyes half lidded in his normal lazy expression.

“and i really do appreciate and admire that. it’s good to know paps has friends that are there for him.”

She nodded proudly.

“i didn’t plan this, you know. if it had depended on me, we wouldn’t ever even have to have this conversation.”

She raised an eyebrow, looking at him curiously. What did he mean by that? Was he really being serious when he said it just…happened?

Sans’ hand lowered so that he was caressing Papyrus’ cheek with the back of his hand, grin widening.

“he did. and he never _ever_ gave up on me. i know i don’t deserve him, undyne, but…”

Papyrus sighed in his sleep and Sans’ movements hesitated for a bit but then continued as Papyrus smiled.

“…i can make him happy, somehow.”

Undyne watched them interact and the sight made her expression soften, an understanding smile tilting on her lips. She still didn’t understand this sudden shift on their relationship –even though she thought that they already acted like a couple before- but she accepted it. Really, Papyrus could have ended up with someone much worse. Like…Aaron. She shivered.

It really was the best outcome. It was possible that nobody could love him more than Sans. And her concerns of him being hurt seemed petty when that was something that Sans has been fretting over all his life.

She sighed.

“I acknowledge that I was a bit out of line, threatening you like that. And I shouldn’t have grabbed you.”

Her eye focused on Sans’ loving caresses and she started feeling a bit awkward. She had said she wasn’t going to apologize but this was starting to sound like one.

“I see now that you’re trying to do things right. That’s all that I want for Papyrus.”

Sans nodded, a few seconds of silence hanging heavy between them before he uttered.

“that’s all i want too.”

Another silence stretched on but this one was a bit more comfortable. As she kept staring at them though, her lips twitched again and she contained a snort. She wasn’t very successful.

“So, huh…we’re cool??”

Sans’ grin widened even more as he gazed at Papyrus, his vision being more focused now.

“sure. just one more thing…”

He then looked back at her with a pupil less gaze and Undyne’s eye widened as his voice deepened.

“you both drew stuff on our faces, didn’t you?”

She couldn’t contain a snort then, slapping her hands on her knees. She wasn’t going to admit even to herself the creeped out chills he always gave her when he did that.

“Welp!!”

She stood up, already making her way out of the bedroom, not bothering being silent anymore.

“I’m gonna go grab a bite to eat!”

As she left, Sans chuckled and shook his head. He was losing at his own game, being pranked like that.

His grin shifted into a slight smirk as he looked back at the ‘sleeping’ Papyrus, caressing his face one more time.

“it’s rude to be eavesdropping, paps.”

Papyrus opened one eye, smile wavering nervously as his arm tightened the hold around his waist, looking up sheepishly. Sans quickly reformed his pupils so he didn’t look so serious. He wasn’t upset, after all. He laid back down on his side, facing Papyrus and was pulled closer, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. He hummed, cheeks feeling slightly cold as Papyrus nuzzled his neck fondly, his words sounding muffled.

“I’m sorry, Sans! I didn’t mean to!! I just…” He raised his head from the snug spot of his neck and their gazes met, Papyrus still looking apologetic.

“I woke up in the middle of your conversation and didn’t want to interrupt! It sounded important…”

Sans shook his head, trying to contain a snort himself as he tried to overlook the silly moustache drawn on Papyrus. What a classic.

“it’s alright, paps.”

A few more seconds of silence and Papyrus’ still nervous fidgeting, his cheeks warm and tinting a slight orange and Sans sighed.

“how much did you hear?”

Papyrus cleared his throat, tugging him even more closely and Sans had to move his legs to accommodate him between them, his blush deepening. What a morning.

“Enough.”

His gaze softened, smile widening.

“She’s a great friend.”

Sans’ grin tilted in agreement, nodding. Papyrus made a sound of amusement then, seeming to finally notice the drawings on Sans’ face and brought a hand up to cover his mouth as he giggled. Sans chuckled, eyes shifting to the side.

“i probably look ridiculous, don’t i?”

Papyrus nodded sheepishly, raising a hand to trace the drawn curves of the glasses and Sans rolled his eyes, figuring out what they had drawn on him. That one was so old.

Papyrus’ fingers lowered to his cheek, mimicking the caresses he had given him before.

“If it counts as anything, I think you look quite adorable!”

Sans’ blush was obvious as he chuckled, his own fingers tracing the curly thin moustache on Papyrus.

“What about me??” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sans snorted, eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement.

“charming. it fits you.”

Papyrus seemed genuinely pleased with that, making a motion with his fingers as if tracing the moustache, following the curve at the tip.

“You know, if skeletons had hair, I would have grown one myself!!”

Sans laughed then and Papyrus beamed, pleased to see him so carelessly happy for once (and also proving himself that he could make Sans happy, too). They snuggled closer and could hear Undyne making a ruckus in Alphys’ kitchen –she managed to be louder than Papyrus- but they didn’t mind it, deciding to laze a bit more in bed together. They hushed their voices though, being mindful of the still sleeping Alphys.

“I really do love you, Sans.” Papyrus whispered, expression gentle and loving. Sans’ breath hitched.

“I’m glad that it’s you that I’m with.”

Sans closed his eyes, shaking his head. His lazy grin twitched.

“you don’t need to say that, paps.”

Papyrus gave him a skeleton kiss on his forehead, hand caressing his cheek and thumb tracing the edge of his eye socket, something he liked to do. He leaned in, mouth close to his.

“Yes, I do.” He affirmed, his gaze expressing more than all the pretty words in the world and Sans felt his soul pulse in guilty delight, wanting to keep that look to himself and only him. They bumped their mouths together, little sparks bringing the all too familiar sensation of bliss and Sans let himself move to lay on his back, Papyrus following him and settling on top of him.

“i love you too. so. much.” He managed to utter between kisses, trying not to pay much attention to their closeness, how their bodies were pressing together, creating a sinful friction that had his legs involuntarily tightening their hold around Papyrus’ hips. Their energies danced and intertwined and Papyrus felt that unknown but also familiar excitement that made him want more of Sans. Their breathing deepened in sighs, wanting to prolong the moment but Papyrus was curious and he had wanted a chance to be with Sans like this again. He wanted to explore a little more, lose himself just a little more in these new pleasure filled sensations and so, didn’t even think when his hand settled on Sans’ hip and slid upward slowly, touching him just like he had wanted and feeling the answering power starting to manifest itself again. Intrigued and following his urges, Papyrus continued his explorations, hand burrowing underneath Sans’ pajama shirt-

Sans let out a low half gasp, half moan, his still unsettled soul sensitive. Things were getting out of control and although he had told Undyne they were taking their time, he himself didn’t even know if that meant they were going slow. It just meant he would wait for Papyrus to feel comfortable…or himself, really, he didn’t even know anymore.

He was just all too aware that Alphys was right behind them. Sleeping but still present.

“uunf…w-wait, paps-!”

He flinched, a surge of pleasurable energy making him shudder as Papyrus’ hand reached his ribs, his caresses seemingly mimicking the ones Sans had done to him yesterday. His touch was a bit heavier in his excitement and seeing that he was doing something well, Papyrus beamed, being a little less hesitant in his motions.

It was when Papyrus’ hips accidentally thrust against his that Sans stilled, grabbing his wrist. He really didn’t trust himself not to do anything stupid if he let Papyrus keep going. He knew Papyrus just wanted to explore intimacy a little more and his hands, although wandering, were not ill intended but he feared he couldn’t keep it innocent at this pace. And they _weren’t alone._

Papyrus’ expression seemed to change into a pout, gaze questioning as Sans gently removed his hand from underneath his shirt and kissed it. He opened his mouth to probably protest against the interruption and Sans was wondering what he would answer when the loud boom of an explosion interrupted them, their gazes immediately being drawn to the semi closed door of Alphys’ bedroom.

“You gotta BE KIDDIN’ ME!!!!” They heard Undyne’s enraged voice shout. It was possible the explosion came from the kitchen.

Alphys had woken up from that of course, eyes wide and putting on her glasses hurriedly, getting out of bed. She gave them a nervous smile and a hasty good morning before she donned on her robe and went to see what had happened.

Sans and Papyrus raised an eyebrow at each other before they both stood up too. Heading towards the kitchen, Papyrus’ eyes widened and Sans’ grin twitched in amusement as the explosion had been just loud and thankfully the damage hadn’t been great. Undyne had just completely wrecked Alphys’ stove.

“U-Undyne, what happened??”

Undyne grabbed at her hair in frustration, making it look even messier than it already was.

“I don’t know!!!! I was hungry and there wasn’t any ramen left!!!”

She then sighed in exasperation and let herself fall on one of the kitchen chairs, looking at Alphys with a frustrated expression.

“I just wanted to fry an egg this time, I swear.”

A few seconds of empty silence passed until Alphys raised a hand to her mouth and tried to unsuccessfully muffle her laughs, shaking her head.

Undyne examined the damage and had the grace to look sheepish as she scratched the back of her neck, smirking.

“Sorry about that.”

Alphys only shook her head again, making her way towards her and wrapping her arms around her shoulders in a hug, pulling her close. Undyne felt warmth on her cheeks that she desperately tried to ignore.

Alphys then examined the damage as well and put a hand on her hip.

“It’s a-alright, Undyne, I can fix this no problem!”

Undyne looked up at her in admiration from her seat and Alphys felt flustered and humbled at the same time. They then looked back at the skeleton brothers and Alphys chuckled, heading towards the fridge.

“W-Well, I’m sure I still have something we can eat for breakfast! H-Hold on!”

She rummaged inside it and took out a bag of Popato Chisps and some packets of strawberry milk. She laid them on the table and poured the Popato Chisps on a large bowl so that they could share and handed them a packet of milk each.

Sans looked down at the food and shrugged, starting to eat. This was fine by him.

Papyrus was a bit more critical about the not so healthy meal; the ‘chisps’ had a texture and taste that resembled grease too much. And, well, it wasn’t spaghetti. Still, he didn’t complain, of course.

Undyne just grabbed a handful of the ‘chisps’ and wolfed them down, drinking almost half of the milk in one go. She was always hungry in the mornings.

To fill in the comfortable silence, Alphys decided to disrupt it.

“I-I really had fun yesterday with you guys. We should do this more o-often! I-If you want to, of course!”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically and Sans simply shrugged lazily. It had been fun.

Undyne had been the first to finish, unsurprisingly. She gave a quick kiss to Alphys’ forehead, who sputtered shyly, and hurried back to her room, probably to get herself ready. She was Captain of the Royal Guard after all, and had duties to attend to early in the morning. Still, Papyrus hurried to finish his own meal and stood up, Sans giving him a curious look but didn’t say anything as he saw him heading back too.

Knocking on the door, Papyrus waited for Undyne to tell him to enter. When she did, he saw her in her armor already, just finishing putting on her gauntlets.

“Hey, Papyrus! Do you need anything??” She asked, giving him her usual fanged grin.

Papyrus smiled back, nodding and closed the door gently behind him. He seemed nervous for a moment before sighing, fidgeting with his hands.

Noticing this, Undyne raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up? Something wrong??” She knew she had been reassured but if Sans had already messed up…

“UNDYNE, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!!”

Seeing her and Alphys acting so comfortably with each other had made him wonder if he and Sans were doing something wrong. They were comfortable enough with each other but he had seen an intimacy between her and Alphys that he knew him and Sans hadn’t been able to reach yet. There was the issue with Sans’ hesitation and the undeniable fact that Sans thought he still didn’t quite know what he wanted, even though that was not true. Papyrus had always been sure of what he wanted, he always looked to be sure of everything, after all, and he felt like he needed to prove that to Sans for him to finally get it.

But he realized that he was going to need more than a book and his own speculations if he wanted it to work. And with Undyne’s concern on their relationship, maybe she could help.

She nodded in encouragement.

“What is it??”

Voice lowered in secrecy, he had the conscience that what he was about to ask was something very private.

“How do I…take a relationship to the ‘next level’ ??” He had read that term on the ‘Dating Book’, as an introduction to the final pages.

Undyne blinked, seemingly still taking in his question before her eye widened, her whole stance shifting to such a mortified state that she resembled more of a cat arching, startled.

“You want me to tell you WHAAAAAT???”

Papyrus cringed, really aware that the question wasn’t something he should be asking Undyne but he also didn’t think it was that bad.

Her overreaction faded as she saw how unsure and nervous Papyrus looked and she scratched the back of her neck. She sighed and sat on Alphys’ bed, her armor making a clinking noise as she moved. She patted the spot next to her in invitation and Papyrus politely accepted it, looking at her sheepishly.

“So, huh…let me get this straight. You want to…get it on with Sans?” She added an ‘already?’ inside her mind.

Papyrus blushed deeply and nodded.

“It’s just…we’ve been experimenting with our own boundaries and it’s been great so far! But I always have the feeling that Sans isn’t as comfortable.”

Undyne raised an eyebrow at that, her expression showing her confusion and Papyrus explained.

“Not for being with me! More like…he isn’t comfortable with himself. He doesn’t trust himself, he tries to involve himself as little as possible. And I guess it affects us a little as well…”

Undyne already figured that the problem was indeed that Sans had probably some inner demons that prevented him from living to the fullest and, although he had the best intentions, it was undeniably affecting the natural progress of their relationship. Sometimes you just need to let things flow at the pace they are naturally set in. Don’t force anything but also don’t delay anything. And in all his carefulness, Sans was accidentally making Papyrus feel inadequate and, consequently,  both of them unsatisfied.

“I’m sure the problem isn’t you, Papyrus. There’s something that is holding him back and only you both can get to the bottom of it. I’m not exactly a love expert, y’know??”

Papyrus smiled then and Undyne returned it fondly. She crossed her arms, making a ‘know-it-all’ face.

“I think you should just talk things over. A real talk. No stepping around it! Be completely honest! It’s what I usually do with Alphys.”

Papyrus seemed encouraged by that yet he wished it was as easy as it sounded. What if he was thinking too much over it? What if he upset Sans in a way? It wasn’t that he was unhappy, far from it, but he just felt like he was being selfishly doted on and just wanted to start reciprocating that same doting. Maybe Sans really just needs a push, some kind of drastic action that would make him see what Papyrus wanted.  

Thinking on it, he thanked Undyne for her time and stood up to leave, letting her finish getting ready in peace. As he opened the door, he stopped as Undyne called him.

“I am happy for you both.”

Papyrus beamed, his cheery disposition returning full force at her approval. Secretly knowing of her talk with Sans, he only felt even happier for hearing her say it.

He nodded in appreciation and left then. Him and Sans needed to go home soon too so they could get ready for their own duties.

 

* * *

 

Waving goodbye at Alphys –Undyne had already left in a hurry- they both headed off to the River Person’s boat, clutching their pillows and sheets. They didn’t say much to each other, holding hands and thoughts filled with their own concerns. Sans was finally musing over the ‘dream’ he had and what it had meant. His grip on Papyrus’ hand tightened, the vision of his dusty scarf something that he wanted to forget but couldn’t. He convinced himself that he would never let that happen but the powerlessness he had felt then, he was feeling now. It was not something he liked to think about.

 Stealing a glance ever now and then at Sans, Papyrus mused on his own predicament. He decided he would revisit the ‘Dating Book’ once again and keep Undyne’s words in mind. Their whole relationship had been always based on trust so, really, he shouldn’t even be feeling hesitant on being completely honest with Sans. It’s what he has always been after all. Even so, he decided he was going to show Sans what he really wanted.

That he wanted him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing is more relationship development is coming! 
> 
>  
> 
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *covers blushing face* I'm so nervous about this one. (◠﹏◠✿) Please enjoy the seventeenth chapter! <3
> 
> ([Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn9AQoI7mYU) I heard for this chapter. I like the lyrics c: )
> 
> Thank you so much to lilian-the-fox for the absolutely breathtaking [ illustrations](http://lilian-the-fox.tumblr.com/post/140340417938/some-illustrations-to-the-lovely-fanfiction) for this fic. I have no words!!
> 
> And you won't believe it but cheesearoni is making a [comic](http://cheesearoni.tumblr.com/post/140365356240/chpt-1-part-1-breaking-point-next-notes) based on this fic!! Holy Guacamole!! I highly recommend it, it's looking so promising!!
> 
>  
> 
> (Warning: NSFW chapter! )

Once they arrived home, they shook the snow off their shoulders and stepped in. Sans closed the door softly behind him and they sighed silently to themselves, enjoying the familiar scent of their house. They still had a bit of time left before they had to leave again and they headed towards their respective rooms to get dressed in their usual outfits.

Needless to say, Sans just took his pajamas right off and let them drop somewhere on the floor, putting on his shorts, shirt and hoodie jacket that were also picked up from that same floor. He went to his sock drawer and scratched his cheek absentmindedly, being faced with the fact that his sock drawer was practically empty, since all his used socks were scattered around. Papyrus was going to have a fit. He put on the one pair that was still in the drawer, clean and neatly folded –even he was feeling disbelief at himself since laundry day had been just a few days ago- and sighed in contentment as he put on his fuzzy comfy slippers once again. He went to the bathroom then to clean his face, at last.

Papyrus folded his pajamas neatly and hung them inside his wardrobe, passing a hand across the soft fabric to straighten it. He took a few tissues from his desk and wiped his face, holding a spare hand mirror and nodding in satisfaction when it was all clean. He put on his outfit, smiling softly at the few scratches in it. It was as immaculate as it could be and those scratches were only a mark of Sans’ craftsmanship on it when they had made it together.

It was a fond memory of his: _Sans asking him what he wanted to wear and when he replied he just wanted to have armor of his own, a battle body, just like the Royal Guard, Sans hadn’t even questioned him, his grin widening and nodding in agreement. As Sans went out to get the materials needed from the shop, Papyrus excitedly drew the design he had had on his mind for a long time now, smile bright with happiness as he drew himself in a heroic pose donning the battle body. He would even have a cape, just like he had seen in those hero filled books he liked to read! He was going to look so cool._

_When Sans returned, suddenly appearing behind him and startling him –Golly, Sans really needed to stop doing that!- his arms were filled with materials. Red, white and gold were the dominant colors and, although he hadn’t had time to color his sketch yet, he was pleased with Sans’ choice on the palette. He showed his drawing to Sans as he put the things down on their living room’s coffee table and his older brother examined it with all his attention, gaze taking in all the details fondly. Papyrus had felt warmth on his cheeks, finding himself staring at Sans even then, taking in his soft, lazy expression and thinking to himself just how charming he was in his own way, how endearing it was that he really didn’t mind doing as he asked._

_His focus was on Sans for the remainder of that afternoon, on how they worked together to make the outfit. Papyrus’ eyes followed Sans’ hands, precise and dexterous as he helped him work on the upper battle body, his left eye glowing now and then as he used his magic to bring the materials to them when needed. When they were done with the main parts, he had asked Papyrus to try it on and he did so enthusiastically, taking it to his room and changing into it. He remembered how Sans had actually done a double take when he returned, showing it off to him. His widened gaze had expressed an admiration and appraisal that he had unexplainably flushed at, asking him just how cool he looked innocently._

**_“the coolest.”_ **

_But something was missing, after all. He still needed his cool cape! Voicing it to Sans, his brother’s grin twitched, rummaging through the things he brought before he took out a strip of red fabric. It was thin but long and after making a few adjustments –Papyrus simply sat down cross legged beside him and watched him work in amazement, admiring the way the stubby fingers moved effortlessly and weaved the arrangements on the stray ends of it, making it sturdier and less prone to tear- Sans turned to him and motioned for him to come closer. He did so and his breath hitched as Sans threw the now made red scarf around his neck, wrapping it so that it trailed behind him graciously._

_He remembered how Sans’ fingers had lingered on the fabric reverently, how he had looked at him wearing it fondly and Papyrus had decided in that moment that he would wear it always. Although Sans had helped him make the whole outfit, the scarf felt more like a gift; an intimate gesture that had instantly made it one of, if not his most prized possession._

_Sans had scratched the back of his neck, looking at the side._

**_“not exactly a cape but it looks just as cool, right?”_ **

_Papyrus’ gloved fingers had trailed the ends of it tenderly, feeling an unknown sensation within his soul –the first of many to come-  and had nodded, absolutely beaming in happiness._

Unfortunately at that time, Sans had already started to distance himself and, fearing he would upset him in some way, didn’t give him the thankful embrace he had wanted to. He just kept boasting about how cool he looked and how Undyne would definitely let him join the Royal Guard, powerless to the way Sans’ grin would waver, his eyes looking tired and lackluster. Still, for that brief moment when they had worked together, he had felt harmony between them. It had been nice to have Sans doing something with him and having his loving gazes to himself, even if temporarily.

Gloved fingers trailing the same, now slightly worn down, scarf, Papyrus’ smile softened, sitting on his race car bed and just sighing, happy that such memories existed, despite being bittersweet. It really had been a long time coming and he wondered why he hadn’t taken action before, how he hadn’t caught on those loving gazes and gestures earlier. How he hadn’t realized sooner that Sans had always loved him. Truly, deeply, loved him.

It was a nice feeling that he now could enjoy that love, could be a little more true to himself and to Sans.

Well…almost.

He sighed, still caressing the scarf absentmindedly, when he heard a knock at his door.

“YES??”

The door opened softly and Sans grinned at him from it, shuffling his way in. Papyrus returned the smile, patting the spot beside him on the bed and Sans’ cheeks tinted slightly but accepted the invitation anyway, hands stuffed in his pockets. It was nice to have pockets again.

“hey, bro, what’s up? you were taking some time so i came to see if you were alright.”

He thought Papyrus would have wanted to make some spaghetti for breakfast since they didn’t exactly eat much at Alphys' and he was sure Papyrus would have been craving for a decent, noodle full breakfast. He had been surprised that when he went downstairs Papyrus hadn’t been there already, making said spaghetti but rather still in his room, fully clothed and sitting on his bed with a fond and nostalgic expression on his face. Casting a curious glance, Sans sat down on the bed, the comfy mattress dipping softly.

Papyrus kept caressing his scarf, holding it up to Sans and lowering his head to lean on the other’s shoulder.

“Do you remember when you gave me this, Sans???”

Sans blinked, grinning down tenderly at Papyrus and placed a small skeleton kiss on his skull, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and tugging him closer.

“sure. it wasn’t that long ago.” He answered, voice low and intimate. It held a soft and fond tone, as if revisiting the memory as well.

Papyrus closed his eyes and hummed, nuzzling the other’s neck. One of his hands came up and caressed under Sans’ chin, trailing up slowly to his cheek and back down again in soothing motions.

“I remember even then thinking how wonderfully kind you are. How thankful I really was to have you by my side.”

Sans’ grin wavered, his soul pulsing in a mix of happiness and sadness. That was one of the few recent memories where they had spent time together, where he hadn’t felt too guilty to even be in the same room as Papyrus. To hear such things from his brother now, about that time no less, made him feel unworthy of such praise. Kind? He wasn’t so sure about that.

“You’ve always done so much for me, Sans…”

Even so, Papyrus sounded so sure of his words that Sans had no choice but to accept them as a reality. He really had always done everything to assure Papyrus’ happiness, even if he had to sacrifice his own. He certainly had no problem doing that since he had felt that what would have made him happy was depraved and unsightly in comparison. Papyrus always acted with such grandeur but it wasn’t hard to keep him happy. He contented himself with little nice gestures, even if all you’d do was tell him his spaghetti is good. 

He had taken care of him for the most part. But he had overlooked that they were supposed to take care of each other and that Papyrus had always tried to do so.

Sans exhaled, shifting closer to Papyrus. He chuckled.

“you’re the most important person to me, paps. i’ve just treated you as such.”

The honesty of his words made him feel heavy inside but also as if a weight was finally being lifted off his shoulders, now that he could talk so freely with Papyrus, without fearing he would ruin everything. He already understood that Papyrus returned his feelings and, although it still didn’t fully sink in, he was starting to truly believe that he didn’t need to be so miserably unlucky at everything.

He heard Papyrus sigh contently and they just stayed like that for a few moments, relishing in their closeness and the rejoicing of their souls. The light of day shone down from Papyrus’ window, bathing them in a soothing tone of gold, bright and warm. Sans could almost feel his lids droop, lulled by the peacefulness of such a moment and Papyrus’ caresses under his chin and across his cheek. Stars, he had yearned for this for so long…

To just be with Papyrus like this, like he had imagined in the deep recesses of his mind. To share such a complete and utter understanding with him that no words were necessary. To coexist in such harmony, despite their very different personalities, that nothing could separate them.

He knew that no matter how many times he tried to convince himself, he wouldn’t ever be able to forget or let Papyrus go. His feelings were too strong, his soul too attached to the other –he feared that such a bond had been developing since forever. The absolute feeling of wrongness and slight nausea every time he had tried to envision Papyrus with someone else just proved him so.

He would let him go if it meant Papyrus would be happy. But that would mean letting go of a large part of himself as well. And he really didn’t want to think of such an alternative outcome.

They were in each other’s arms, sharing a loving relationship and that’s what he should focus on from now on.

“You’re looking thoughtful.”

Sans blinked, the soft uttering interrupting his musings and looked down at Papyrus, who had hunched over a bit so he could lay his head comfortably on his chest. His cheeks tinted a deeper shade of blue, squeezing affectionately the other’s shoulder as he looked to the side sheepishly.

“just thinking…about us.”

Papyrus blushed as well, his free hand fumbling with the stray ends of his scarf absentmindedly as he smiled innocently.

“Only good things, I hope!!”

Sans was genuinely taken aback, feeling an answering warmth enveloping his body and his grin wavered, flustered as Papyrus’ hand left his scarf and his arm enveloped his waist by the front, pressing his body against him. It was a gesture made of pure affection but Sans was finding it hard not to see sensuality in it, in everything that involved having Papyrus so close and personal with him lately, actually.

He chuckled, a slight waver in it betraying his growing nerves.

“yea, paps.” His gaze softened, repeating the words reverently, like a mantra. “only good things.”

Papyrus seemed satisfied with that and leaned up to bump their mouths together gently. The exchanged caresses of today’s early morning were still fresh in their minds and bodies and Sans shivered, feeling this kiss a little more strongly. He dared to wrap his arms around Papyrus’ wider shoulders, the fingers of one hand trailing up and down. His energy prickled the tips, wanting to manifest itself but he was adamant in doing so. He didn’t want to start something he was not sure they were both ready for. Again.

As so, they departed slowly with a final little peck, his wandering hand at Papyrus’ back moving to his chest and giving a gentle push. Papyrus blinked at him curiously, his gaze half lidded and entranced looking and Sans felt the coldest sensation ever all over his face. That expression was looking too close to one of his more daring previous fantasies. His want was building up and he was unsure of what to do about it. One thing was to be alone with his hands for company and a shamefully active imagination but another was having the one he so desired right in front of him, touching him, kissing him, pressing against him so sweetly and looking at him as if he meant the world and beyond to him. He had lost count of all the ways he had imagined how it would happen: him being pushed down on the bed and having that body grinding down on him, sweet nothings being whispered softly to him and coming undone with those larger hands exploring his body in burning curiosity or himself doing the pushing, giving that same body all the proper worshipping it deserved…

He was an absolute pervert.

Papyrus was just being affectionate and loving and here he was having such filthy thoughts. He wanted to shake himself in frustration.

To avoid any possible awkward questions, Sans tried to make his grin seem as relaxed as possible, giving Papyrus a skeleton kiss on his cheek and making a move to get off the bed. Papyrus’ gaze was still questioning, wondering if he had done something wrong. Their snuggling was feeling so good and the kiss had been awakening that growing feeling within him. They were alone now, why had Sans stopped him?

“aren’t we supposed to attend our duties soon, paps?”

Oh.

Sans was reminding him of their duties?? Had the ‘sky’ fallen over???

Still, he had been so immersed in Sans’ company that he temporarily forgot why they had hurried home from Alphys’ lab. He couldn’t afford to slack off even now but he was being faced with the unknown feeling of not wanting to go at all, of wanting to just wrap his arms around Sans and pull him back to his bed and have them just stay there together and doing…something? He didn’t know what he would do yet but he was sure things would go naturally from there.

Maybe it was a good idea if they both took some time to think a little more.

Cheerful disposition easy to settle back in, Papyrus stood up too and grabbed Sans’ cheeks, placing one last loving and hearty skeleton kiss on his forehead.

“YOU’RE RIGHT, SANS!! TODAY IS PATROL DAY!!! SNEAKY, STRAY HUMANS DO NOT TAKE BREAKS AND NEITHER SHALL THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

He put on his boots that had been resting against the surface of his wardrobe, shining and squeaky clean. Sans huffed good naturedly, watching his brother hurry downstairs with sudden enthusiasm and felt slightly relieved. Although he couldn’t also help but feel a bit of disappointment either. At himself, of course.

This was all so straining and difficult. How does one figure out how to approach such a subject with someone like Papyrus? He was so used to seeing such things as shameful and disgustingly self indulgent that he had forgotten how good and freeing pleasure could feel. He knew it hadn’t always been like this. He could still remember a time where he had started to explore himself that way, a long time ago, and feeling a subdued kind of amazement at how satisfying it was.

Of course, at that time his motions had been as mechanical as his blank thoughts, only focused on the pleasure that he was giving himself and not on _who_ he would give it to and receive it from.

He felt like he was wronging Papyrus in some way. He wasn’t oblivious to the way the other’s soul had awakened fully –thanks to him and his impulses-, how Papyrus had accepted their bond with no reservations and was, naturally, feeling the urges to deepen it just like he himself had been feeling for a long time. He wanted to discover intimacy with his chosen soul mate and was approaching it in his own way, innocently lingering on their kisses and pressing their bodies together. Papyrus wasn’t sure what he wanted but he seemed to be getting an idea and Sans needed to be prepared for that. Papyrus didn’t deserve having his insecurities and deeply imbedded guilt getting in the way of his natural development, of a healthy sexual approach. He needed to be ready for it. Eventually.

_Eventually._

He sighed and rubbed his eyes, already feeling one of those over thinking induced headaches coming. He took one last glance around Papyrus’ room and shuffled his way out and downstairs, joining Papyrus at the front door that he had already opened and was adjusting his scarf at. Papyrus smiled brightly at him from the doorway and Sans did his best to return it, leaning up for a ‘see you soon’ kiss. As Papyrus walked ahead, he guiltily stared at the slight sway of his hips, groaning internally at himself. Not wanting to torture himself any further, he summoned his magic and promptly teleported to his post.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus had been an energetic bundle of activity for the most part of the day –well, more than usual- and was able to finish all of his duties much earlier, just as he had planned. The few monsters he passed by looked at him curiously, surprised at seeing him heading back home already but he was a skeleton on a mission! As he entered the house he shut the front door loudly, just in case Sans might have returned for some reason. When only silence met him, his smile widened and he rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom. He immediately reached for his ‘Dating Book’, stored carefully and discreetly in his book shelf and breathed in deeply. He looked for his most recent bookmark and after finding it, flipped the book open on the page it was marked on.

He could feel the warmth on his cheeks already. Eyes narrowing as he nervously looked at his stark open door, clutching the book closer to himself as if fearing being watched. He was being paranoid, he knew, Sans wasn’t coming back until almost nightfall but he couldn’t help feeling slightly anxious. He didn’t want anything to go wrong after all.

Coming to a decision, he walked over to his door and closed it fully, making a clicking noise. He then went over to his bed and sat on it, now ready to start reading.

The first few pages weren’t very descriptive and they referred more to the emotional beginnings that come with physical attraction, the wants and desires, the small ‘goosebumps’ –Papyrus didn’t know what that was but he remembered Undyne mentioning it once; must be a skin kind of thing- that would follow every lingering touch, every suggestive glance, every motion. Papyrus’ blush deepened, bringing the book closer to his vision as he recalled experiencing such things. Not exactly just like it said in the book but close enough. This was still a human book after all and there was only so much he, a skeleton, could get out of it.

If these ‘goosebumps’ could be the same as the shudders in his soul every time Sans touched him, if these ‘butterflies in his stomach’ could be the same as the flipping anticipation and strange nervousness he felt whenever Sans looked at him in that way of his, as if secretly beckoning him, suggesting at something, daring him to come closer, then… he was sure it was time he flipped to the remaining few pages left.

He was already forming a plan on his mind, knowing that if he wanted to go through with this he couldn’t falter. He needed to show Sans that this was what he really wanted and that he was even being the first to take the step forward. He knew it would certainly give Sans a little more confidence in himself and even some courage and he wanted to encourage Sans to pursue his wishes and desires as well. And if those desires had something to do with him, he would be more than happy to help him through it.

This page was a little more descriptive: it had an illustration of a human couple sitting on a bed, enveloped in a tight embrace. One human seemed to have their face buried on the other human’s neck, lathering it with kisses –Oh! He had done that before; Sans’ neck was one of his favorite spots to lather affection all over- and their hands were wandering low...golly that was _really_ low. They had intense, blissful expressions on their faces and Papyrus found himself imagining Sans’ face like that, looking up at him with that love struck half lidded stare, arching into his touch, grin parting as his mouth opened in a rare occurrence other than for eating and making small panting noises, voicing low moans of appraisal like the ones he had heard this morning.

He had never felt his face so hot. Or other places really. The imagery of such a thought made his soul throb with unfamiliar yearning, true, curious yearning and desire to make such an image a reality. How would Sans react? Would he be too surprised and flustered? Or would he return the favor, that unrelenting grin widening mischievously, strong hands touching him and making him ache for more, like he has been so prone to doing lately.

He closed his eyes for a moment, slightly confused at the intensity of these feelings. The more he thought about such things, the more he wanted to try them out, the more he wished Sans was right here with him, guiding him and telling him how right this was.

Because he was currently feeling sheepish as the book suggested he tried out what he liked to have done to him on his significant other, right there, highlighted on one of the corners as a ‘helpful’ tip.

What he liked to have done to him?

He didn’t quite know much about that, he just liked the way Sans touched him and looked at him. And his magic, his essence had felt so amazingly intense that he was starting to miss it. The snappy little jolts of it that had caressed his whole body and soul had felt so pleasant and, surprisingly enough, he was starting to feel the start of a slight build up within him, coaxing him to keep thinking about such things, to keep wondering.

Might as well try, right?

He knew there was a way to enjoy this and although the only time he had been exposed to something similar it had been that one time he had accidentally intruded on Sans’ privacy. He didn’t know how it could go but the more he thought about Sans, the warmer he felt. With the book’s words on his mind he breathed in deeply and put it aside on the bed, letting himself lay down.

What he liked to have done to him…

He felt a strange sensation of sudden shyness, feeling as if he wasn’t supposed to be doing this somehow but that must just be him being silly, of course. There was nothing harmful in it, he was sure. His thoughts were pleasant and filled with the one he loved and the warm anticipation heated up as he recalled when Sans had let his hand slip that one time, caressing his ribs in almost fondling motions, tracing the rims and leaving faint trails of energy across them.

He did so too, letting the memory guide him and he faintly gasped as he buried his hand underneath his battle body and did the exact same path of caresses. The sensation it brought was similar but not as strong and he searched for more, being less hesitant in his motions as he could feel the now hot glow of his own soul against his hand. His mouth parted, letting out a heated sigh, closing his eyes and thinking about Sans again, imagining him right there with him, looking at him in approval and telling him how well he was doing, his hand grabbing his and guiding it tenderly, telling him where to touch, where it felt the best.

He was quick to find it on his own, letting out a sharper gasp as his spine arched slightly. His other hand joined in with a bit more urgency, remembering how Sans had trailed his own down his vertebrae, feeling the bumped ridges and tracing the sensitive dips. As he tried his best to mimic it, a low half whining kind of moan escaped him. Goodness, that felt wonderful. He didn’t imagine it could still feel this good if he did it to himself but he guesses he never really tried touching himself this way before. He had been missing out, apparently.

“Mmmmm…S-Sans…!”

His mouth tilted up into a dreamy smile, picturing Sans on top of him, replacing the motions of his own hands and he found it easy to do so, found it easy to immerse himself in such an obvious fantasy. In his mind, Sans lowered himself to place small tickling nips along his neck, pressing his body closer. One of his hands would take its place beneath his battle body, making him arch into it as he was doing it to his own in reality, tugging the battle body higher so he could expose his ribcage more.

His breath hitched as he did so to himself, the slight cold air making him shiver. He grinded his knees together, feeling an increasing pressure in his pelvic area, a little nervous for not knowing what it could possibly be. He could feel an increasing warmth there and a slight gathering of his magic but not enough for it to fully manifest itself.

In his mind Sans would tell him it was alright, his other hand helping down at the motions on his spine and trailing down even lower, hesitating at the hem of his shorts and giving him a inquiring gaze, silently asking for permission.

He nodded to himself and, just like Sans’ hand in his fantasy, his own slipped down the front of his shorts and inside, his legs twitching and pressing together as the new sensations were suddenly heightened almost at the double.

“O-Oh!! Sans….! Yes….n-ngh…!!”

The hand at his ribcage left its spot to cover his mouth –a shiver of unexplainable satisfaction surged through him as Sans did the same in his mind, grin tilting in understanding- his pleading moans feeling out of place and awkward to him as he called out Sans’ name, wanting him there more than anything. He was feeling slightly embarrassed at his own eagerness, hips undulating and bucking in time with his slow exploring caresses. The building heat coiled tightly inside his soul and, curiously, centered around his pelvis as well. He could feel something gathering much more strongly there and his movements quickened as he looked up urgently at Sans in his mind, getting an encouraging and loving gaze in return.

He stilled as one of his fingers slipped in the midst of his hurried movements and slithered lower, being faced with a magic fabricated kind of entrance. He gave an unsightly yelp, removing his finger from it, hesitatingly wondering if he had unconsciously done that.  

It only took a few more hurried caresses, clumsy and inexperienced, but in his mind given with all the love, to have the pleasure toppling him over, eyes scrunching shut and feeling an intense bursting around his pelvis. Sans’ name was on his mouth and in his thoughts, the conjured image of him grinning down at him and watching him coming undone. Papyrus found himself liking that image, feeling completely exposed to the one he had already given himself to even if it was all only in his imagination.

His very, _very_ fertile imagination.

He sighed, his body sinking down on the bed. The coolness of the covers was soothing and he gave a relaxed smile, the Sans in his mind fading slowly with that hungry stare he had caught on his brother a few times, when he thought he wasn’t looking.

That had been pleasant and intense but not completely satisfying. He felt like there was much more to these sensations than what he had just experienced and he could feel the beginnings of frustration bubbling up. It was short lived though as he didn’t really have the will to get bothered after such a wonderful experience.

Not bad for a first time.

He sat up promptly and grabbed the book again, determined to go through the last pages today.

 

* * *

 

When Sans came back, he could already catch the wonderful aroma of his favorite of meals: juicy, greasy Grillby’s hamburger special with extra ketchup and a generous side of fries. Opening the front door, he tilted his head towards the smell, wiping the snow from his shoulders and unzipping his hoodie jacket. He closed the door softly, noticing the smell was coming from the kitchen.

He yawned, scratching his cheek and looking around. Weird, the lights of their house seemed dimmed…

“paps? i’m home.”

He called out, figuring his brother was probably in the kitchen. He was curious as to why he could smell the unholy grease that Papyrus wouldn’t touch even with a five meter pole in their home.

As he peered inside the doorway though, all of his questions were drowned out as he saw his brother putting a few candles on their table and lighting them up. He was dressed in a weird set of clothes, a combination of shorts, a shirt that said ‘Cool Dude’ and…were those little basketballs on his shoulders?

He seemed pretty focused on his task at hand and had probably not heard him or noticed him.

“…paps?”

Jumping, Papyrus turned around and blinked before giving him a brilliant smile.

“OH!! SANS!!! WELCOME HOME!”

He chuckled as he was swept into a tight hug, returning it easily and sighing. He would always relish the way Papyrus welcomed him back, arms and kisses at the ready and enveloping him in his soothing warmth. Any previous conflicting thoughts were easily swiped away and he didn’t indulge in them anymore, reserving the rest of the night for Papyrus and the love they shared.

And it really looked like tonight was specially for that, he noted, feeling his cheeks tinting in embarrassed appreciation.

“thanks. huh…what’s all this?”

He made a vague gesture towards the table and the soft and undeniably romantic mood going on and Papyrus made his way towards it, searching for something he had probably brought.

“OH, THIS??? I JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE TO EAT SOMETHING YOU REALLY LIKED FOR DINNER, THIS TIME. AS IN…YOUR FAVORITE!!”

He then brought up a grey simple paper bag, fingers carefully holding it at the top and making absolute sure not to touch any greasy spots –Sans’ grin twitched in amusement at that- and placing it on the table. Sans’ eyes widened as that heavenly smell hit him at full force now and he could feel himself rumble in hunger as an answer to it. Papyrus’ expression turned slightly unsure as Sans was taking a bit long to say anything –he was just staring at the bag on the table with a pleased gaze, slowly turning half lidded- and he opened the bag, making sure this really was what he had asked Grillby for.

“…THIS IS YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT???” It needed to be!! It was part of what he had planned for this date!

Sans seemed to snap out of it then, blinking and looking up at Papyrus in some sort of lazy awe.

“yea, it is.”

Papyrus sighed in relief, happy that he hadn’t already messed it all up. Sans shuffled closer to him and the table then, looking around the set up. His blush was deepening.

“wow. paps, what’s the special occasion?”

Papyrus pulled Sans’ chair for him to sit on and Sans’ grin wavered in growing nervousness, a strange sensation of anticipation making his soul skip a pulse. He took the seat and his grip on his pockets tightened as Papyrus placed a lingering, gentle skeleton kiss on his cheek.

“OUR FOURTH DATE!!!”

Fourth? It took some time before Sans realized Papyrus had been really counting their previous outings, before he had even revealed his feelings, as serious dates too. His face felt unbelievably cold.

“…a date? …now?”

Seeing Sans so flustered, Papyrus was starting to have second thoughts. He fumbled nervously with his gloved hands.

“IS IT TOO MUCH??? …IT’S TOO MUCH, ISN’T IT?? I’M SORRY, SANS, WE DON’T NEED TO-!”

“no, paps.” He was quick to interrupt, not having the intention of letting Papyrus believe that he wasn’t liking it. He sunk further into his hoodie jacket, never before had he felt his cheeks so cold and his soul was pulsing rapidly, happily. His gaze softened, looking up at Papyrus and giving him a reassuring stare.

“this is really nice.” He admitted, feeling almost giddy at how appreciated this little surprise had made him feel. Leave it to Papyrus to still have the ability to make him feel such a strong burst of happiness from such a simple gesture.

Papyrus beamed at his praise and that sight was more than enough for Sans to cast aside his initial embarrassment. It wasn’t possible to be embarrassed by such a thoughtful act, after all. Papyrus passed him the bag and he thanked him, taking advantage to grab his hand and giving it a loving kiss. Papyrus blushed happily, warmth surging through him as his smile wavered, hot flashes twisting Sans’ tender grin into a more mischievous one, his currently relaxed and appreciating gaze becoming intense and somewhat predatory.

Papyrus shook those images from his mind, not wanting to ruin it all like that and took a seat of his own, bringing up his own bag. Sans looked at it curiously, already digging in on his meal.

“i thought you didn’t like grillby’s.”

Unwrapping the carefully shut paper bag, Papyrus took out a lidded vanilla milkshake, eyes lightening up in delight at the sight of it.

“OH, WELL, THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN ADMIT THAT THE MILKSHAKES AREN’T THAT BAD!!!”

Sans snorted in amusement but he was glad that Papyrus had brought something special for himself too. His brother had really taken a liking to that milkshake.

As they dug on their meals, the silence that settled in was comfortable and homely. Nothing quite beats arriving home and having such a relaxing and delicious dinner with your significant other, who had prepared it all for you, no less.

It was really, really nice.

Though, Sans couldn’t help but feel as if there was something different in the atmosphere between them or, at least, coming from Papyrus. He had found his eyes glued to him often and not so discreetly, gaze curious and as if anticipating something. It was as if he had still something else planned, something much bigger. He tried not to think much of it as he enjoyed his meal, even if he was all too aware of the glances Papyrus would cast at his parting mouth too, as if wondering something about it. It made him feel a little self conscious but also pleased, in a way. Papyrus was showing such interest in him, much more than usual, and although he didn’t know how to feel about it, he certainly wasn’t disliking it.

There was something about his curious staring that had him feeling…wanted.

Sans was almost finished with his food when he felt a nudge along his leg and he made a low, slightly startled noise, feeling something sliding up and down his leg almost sensually.

It didn’t really take much thought to figure out it was Papyrus’ foot underneath the table and he raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, said expression melting down in returning embarrassment as said foot started going up, up and up and wouldn’t go down. In front of him, Papyrus was sipping innocently on his straw, milkshake almost finished as well.

Sans squeaked, actually squeaked, as the foot settled comfortably between his legs and nudged his inner thigh, feeling the soft tap on his femur. He cast a confused glance at Papyrus this time and, to his own mortification –or was it, really- felt the foot shift and slide deeper into his lap, nudging the front of his pelvis and making his breath hitch.

What was Papyrus doing??

He could already feel his magic reacting to the slight stimulus and he tried with all his will to contain it, fighting the pent up urges that he has been bottling up for too long. The last thing he needed right now was to pop a _boner_ at the dinner table!

Papyrus wasn’t really helping his case though.

Papyrus finally removed his foot to his relief and they finished the rest of their meals, lazing around for a bit and talking about their day. Sans tried to keep his words even, still recovering from his flustered and admittedly worked up state. Papyrus had just been playing, he was sure, he was probably not aware of what exactly he was doing and where he was touching.

Yep.

As Papyrus stood up to put away the dishes, Sans remained sitting down, doing his little internal pep talk and deciding that tonight he was going to have another special meeting with his hand. He could only take so much, after all. And he didn’t want such an embarrassing thing to ruin what he had with Papyrus.

He was surprised though when Papyrus just put away the dishes and didn’t start washing them right away, turning to him instead and walking towards him with an unknown coy kind of expression, taking his hand and coaxing him to stand up, which he obliged to, confused. Papyrus started to lead him up the stairs then, looking nervous but excited at the same time about something.

“Why don’t we take this to my bedroom?”

Sans had seriously blanked out for a few seconds at that. Never before in his life had he ever imagined Papyrus saying something like that in that _tone_ , the _tone_ that was undeniably fitting for a certain kind of innuendo.

“…w-what?” He could only utter dumbly, following Papyrus in a sort of daze.

Was this really happening? Or had he passed out on his way home somewhere and this was one of his weird dreams again?

He found himself hoping for both outcomes as they entered the tidy bedroom. It was dark, compared to rest of their home and yet it felt fitting as Papyrus clicked the door shut behind him and Sans felt himself shiver. Papyrus took his hand again and led him towards the bed, sitting down on it first and patting the spot next to it. The sight was familiar and he couldn’t believe he had seen Papyrus do the exact same thing just this morning.

“…paps, i…what do you mean?”

Papyrus’ gaze softened, patting the spot once again and Sans took it hesitatingly, looking at Papyrus anxiously.

Papyrus was starting to feel bad for leaving him in such anticipation and shuffled closer to him, the sound of clothes brushing against clothes loud in the heavy silence between them. Papyrus caressed Sans’ cheek and his other hand squeezed Sans’, having not let go of his grip on it yet. He looked down self consciously for a moment, knowing this was what he wanted and with his own resolve, leaned forward, resting his forehead against Sans’.

“I want to…try it again.”

Sans’ eyes widened, grin wavering in growing realization as he felt himself start to sweat. He needed to be absolutely sure that his hearing hadn’t betrayed him.

“…you sure…?”

Papyrus nodded in an immediate answer, pressing his body close against Sans’, trying to make him feel how his soul throbbed in anticipation, how he absolutely desired it.

“I want you.”

The thrilling spike of unrestrained desire was hard to ignore as Sans took in the words breathed out with such innocent honesty yet still retaining the sinful real meaning of it. Stars above, he really hoped he wasn’t dreaming now.

“…i…” A pause. A sigh. “just...promise me you’ll tell me if you want to stop or feel uncomfortable.”

Papyrus was quick to nod at that too and he let his power flow then, feeling Papyrus’ shiver as the first familiar jolts of energy prickled him gently and experimentally. Sans raised his free hand and slid it gently down the other’s long, graceful neck and down his shirt, the thin fabric making it easy for him to trace the ribs underneath it.

Still feeling slightly sensitive from his recent explorations, Papyrus gave a low, almost imperceptible whine, arching his chest towards his touch, silently asking him for more. Sans spent some time tracing the curves, basking in the little moans Papyrus would let out now and then, pressing insistently against him and Sans was about ready to start, feeling his power increasing and the blue trails left by his fingers manifested themselves a bit brighter. He laid his hand on the front of Papyrus’ chest, feeling the pounding warm soul beneath it before pushing him gently, taking a moment to simply stare at his laying form, looking up at him with a half lidded stare of pure love and want, of unquestionable trust.

It was beautiful. Papyrus looked beautiful.

Papyrus held his arms out to him, beckoning him and inviting him into his embrace and Sans accepted it with no reservations, feeling his left eye starting to tingle with his now active manifestation of his magic. Gently coerced by him, Papyrus’ soul had started to glow brighter too, the tips of his fingertips leaving soft, wispy looking trails of orange. He groaned into the other’s neck, hands gripping the covers of the bed tightly into fists as Papyrus wrapped his long legs around his waist and tugged him impossibly close, making a grinding motion that had him seeing stars.

Left eye glowing softly and vividly now, he raised himself up a bit and looked down at Papyrus’ calm yet also excited expression, his grin widening in genuine satisfaction. So he wanted to play?

He made sure that his hands trailed excruciatingly slow all over Papyrus’ body, leaning down and nuzzling against his chest as he tugged his shirt up and off, Papyrus’ hands coming down to help him do it too.

Papyrus arched at a particularly heavier touch, right  in the middle of his sternum and his hold around Sans’ waist tightened, feeling that familiar building up and gathering around his pelvis once again. The sensations were heightened to much stronger levels though and he could barely keep his eyes open as Sans’ hands kept exploring his body just like he had imagined –and maybe even more.

“Ummf!! S-Sans…!”

Abiding his call, Sans moved upward again, halting his own trail downwards to Papyrus’ shorts and looking him in the eyes once again.

“tell me what you want, paps.”

Confused and slightly overwhelmed –oh, this was much different that when he was alone!- he gave the most honest answer he could muster.

“You. I just want you. A-All of you…”

Sans’ blush was completely visible in the darkness as his grin softened lovingly and he nodded in understanding, realizing that Papyrus needed him to guide him for now, to show him what made him tick. Even if he too had never done this with anyone before, he was certainly the most ready of the two, having had his awakening years ago.

“i’ll show ya a trick then.”

He focused his magic on his mouth and looked down at Papyrus with slight amusement as he slowly opened his grin and a forming blue tongue appeared, the mesmerizing trails of magic weaving it were absolutely breathtaking.

Papyrus couldn’t deny the hot rush he felt at seeing it.

“Wowie…!”

Without warning, Sans leaned down then and he felt a wet, tingly sensation at his neck, arching it as the tongue was able to send those same power bursts as well.

“O-Oh, g-golly!! Sans!”

He felt Sans’ hands tug at the waistband of his shorts and he shyly spread his legs a bit to easy his access, hearing the sound of his zipper going down and feeling his shorts being shimmied down his legs. He kicked them off and they fell somewhere on the floor messily but he couldn’t even wonder about that as he gave a choked moan, surprised at the absolutely intense trail of pleasure that Sans was drawing on his body, hands working their same reverent path up and down his ribs and spine now followed by the new addition of the tongue. From his point of view, he saw Sans slip a hand under his pelvis and lift it up a bit towards his mouth, looking at him hotly and yet still respectfully hesitant. Papyrus nodded to then immediately throw his head back, a much louder moan escaping him as Sans gave an experimental lick across the middle of his pelvis, the cracking energy of the magic conjured appendage sparking up his own that was gathering on that spot. Still, he couldn’t seem to know precisely what to do with it, only able to ride the pleasure. His hips bucked gently against Sans’ mouth and Papyrus’ moans reverberated across the room as Sans started a steady pace, his free hand wandering underneath his spine and tenderly caressing the ridges just the way he liked.

“Nnngh…S-Sans…o-oh my…ah…! I f-feel…”

Sans gave him a gentle skeleton kiss on his hip encouragingly, his voice sounding uncontrollably deeper and breathy.

“relax, paps…”

Papyrus nodded to then arch his back once again, one arm stretching above his head and holding tight to the covers, bunching up the soft fabric in a fist as Sans continued. His other hand went down to the back of Sans’ skull, giving it a shaky but loving caress.

“S-So good…it f-feels so good, Sans…"

Sans groaned, the heaviness of his own arousal shamefully formed inside his shorts and his hand hitched to relieve it. He wanted to focus on Papyrus first though, admiring the wonderful sight and sound of his moans, the breathless praises and sighs for more edging him on.

He felt Papyrus’ hand on the back of his skull pressing him slightly closer and he felt the urgency in his borderline thrusts, his moans increasing in volume in a pleasure filled crescendo. Sans detached his mouth from it and slid upwards once again, wanting to look him in the face as he watched him come undone. Papyrus fought to keep his eyes open, mouth opening in another moan as Sans made up for the absence of the tongue –now hidden away inside his closed mouth once again- with the slightly faster pace of his fingers’ stroking, feeling the smooth prickly warm tingles of Papyrus’ gathered energy; feeling the beginning of Papyrus’ would have been conjured member if only he could muster to focus on the rest of it. With time, he would get the hang of it.

Papyrus threw his arms around his back and hugged him close, hips buckling wildly now as he looked into Sans’ eyes, wanting to memorize every detail as he felt the now familiar build up to his brink.

“Hnnngh! Sans!! I’m…I’m…”

Sans panted against him, his motions quickening while sending much more intense waves of his power, feeling the answering heat of Papyrus’ soul in return.

“just…f-fuck…l-let it happen…”

Papyrus’ cheeks colored at the slipped crude word before his expression twisted into complete bliss as his hips stilled, holding on to Sans tightly and finally slipping over the edge, his soul giving off a bright light once again, this time much brighter than before and he slumped down, taking Sans with him.

The sound of their harsh pants and the shifting of the covers was the only thing to be heard in the dead of the night. Papyrus’ legs shifted, feeling something prodding him between his legs and he looked down, seeing a faint glow through Sans’ shorts.

Curious and well aware that Sans has yet to be satisfied, he promptly slipped his hand underneath the waistband and came into contact with something cold but solid, thick but soft and hard at the same time. Sans yelped in response, giving an involuntarily buck of his hips, groaning as Papyrus wrapped his hand around his member and started stroking it in wonder, liking the texture and feel of it. And it seemed it was bringing pleasure to Sans too.

He wasn’t entirely naïve. He knew what it was.

“p-paps…oh, f-f…oh stars…”

Sans hesitatingly started thrusting in rhythm with his strokes, small groans and moans escaping him as he buried his face in the crook of his neck, eventually gaining more confidence in his movements as he moved a hand towards Papyrus’ and gripped his wrist gently, guiding the way he stroked, adjusting it to how he liked it the most. Papyrus was a quick learner, soon picking up how Sans liked him to linger at the base for a bit before quickly stroking upwards and thumbing the tip, repeating those motions over and over again, until even Sans’ grip on his wrist faltered and Papyrus’ body was easy to heat up once again as he saw and heard Sans making such a lovely expression and noises of pleasure. He tugged him closer, feeling the member on his hand getting increasingly colder and his other hand slid across his chest, caressing along the shirt and feeling Sans’ soul right underneath his hand, its glow beautifully alive and soothing.

“…k-keep going…uunghf…papyrus…”

He really liked hearing his full name being moaned like that, with an almost pleading tone. The way Sans' voice deepened, morphing it into an almost growl had him wanting to find all the ways he could draw out such reactions. He quickened his motions and his other hand slipped under Sans’ shirt, tracing the ribs while still holding on tight to him as Sans kept up with his pace, thrusting into his hand.

“That’s it…” Papyrus whispered appraisingly, eyes fixated on the face now right above him, his voice only encouraging. “You’re so amazing, Sans…”

Sans seemed to be strangely surprised at that, cheeks coloring and groaning, holding a hand up to trail it across Papyrus’ cheek lovingly.

“a-ah…! s-shit…i’m…p-papyrus…! nngh…ah!”

Gasping, Sans groaned and moaned loudly and stilled completely in Papyrus’ arms, giving a small cry of his name as he came undone as well. Papyrus felt him release in his hand and arm and gave a few more strokes, letting Sans ride it out gently, both of them panting. They slumped against each other and spent a few seconds just in each other’s arms, still shuddering with pleasure. He then heard a breathless chuckle and looked at Sans curiously as he raised his head from his favored spot on his neck.

“…damn.”

Papyrus’ blush deepened impossibly and he narrowed his eyes at Sans, swatting at him playfully.

“Language!!”

He brought his soiled hand up and out of the other’s shorts and looked at the residue with wonder. Sans colored brightly at it, getting up to bring him a tissue from his desk and wiping his hand and arm with it. Papyrus hummed appraisingly, tugging Sans down when he finished and initiating a gentle kiss. Their souls glowed brightly and the afterglow energies travelled their bodies, giving them a feeling of peaceful bliss.

As Sans turned, letting himself shift so that he was laying on the bed and at Papyrus’ side, they cuddled close. What had just happened didn’t seem to sink in just yet and he caressed Sans’ chest, feeling him rumble in a pleased hum. Still, he asked.

“…Was it good???”

He heard Sans’ snort and for a moment thought he would laugh at his question but Sans only looked him in the eyes, his grin soft and looking more like a smile.

It was quick to turn mischievous though as he opened his mouth and held his still conjured tongue out –Papyrus would admit he was increasingly taking a liking to it- giving a slow, sensuous lick along his neck and Papyrus arched into it, letting out a low shaky moan, still sensitive. Sans pulled him closer by the hips and winked.

“you had me _tongue-tied.”_

It was hard to process how Sans always had a bad pun at the ready for any situation. _Any._

Papyrus groaned, not bothering in even raising his voice.

“Saaaans!!”

Sans chuckled, even acknowledging to himself that that one was bad but he didn’t regret it.

He looked down at Papyrus’ half adoring, half annoyed expression and gave him a skeleton kiss on his forehead.

“sorry.”

He made to get up then, knowing Papyrus would probably like to go to sleep too but the arms around him tightened and Papyrus snuggled closer to his chest, shaking his head.

“Stay.”

And so he stayed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *plays [Careless Whisper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ) in the background*
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry if there are some errors towards the end, I basically pulled an all nighter for this x.x I'll edit it a bit later, after I catch on some sleep. (☉‿☉✿)
> 
> BREAKING NEWS (he he that was a good one, no? c: ): Here are more[ illustrations ](http://red-roka.tumblr.com/post/140472097763/yet-again-illustrations-for-my-favorite)for this chapter from red-roka!!! Thank you so much, darling, this is beautiful. <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *is still blushing too much* Oh my goodness, I'm really glad you all enjoyed the previous chapter! I wasn't so sure about it! Thank you so much for all the reassurance! (●´ω｀●) Please enjoy the eighteenth chapter! <3
> 
> My apologies that it took so long too, I'm still a little sick but I'm gradually getting better! 
> 
>  
> 
> (Warning: Still very NSFW chapter. Oh my stars, so much sin. Crawling on my back. (☉‿☉✿) )

The first thing that Sans felt, as he was slowly and gently pulled from his slumber, was warmth. Warmth prickled his body gently, being enveloped in it and he gave a half asleep induced sigh, snuggling closer to that warmth. His own coldness swirled in contentment deep inside him, dormant and happily so, letting him bask in it. For once he felt completely at peace; felt that he was in complete control of himself, at least. He contemplated not opening his eyes yet but as that warmth shifted into a tender caress across his cheek, he did so, slowly and sluggishly. As his vision focused, he saw an unforgettable smile, gentle and slightly more subdued than normal. As his grin twitched to return it, he was then looking into Papyrus’ eyes, very much awake and probably so for some time now. Behind them, the snow fell relentlessly through the window, covering Snowdin in even more white. The wind was strong but not so much that it could be considered a snowstorm and the slight whistle of it gave a relaxing ambience to this morning. It was a day fit for staying in bed, snuggled up inside the covers and just laze about.

Of course, Sans was sure Papyrus wouldn’t ever have such thoughts. Staying extra time in bed was a complete waste to him.

Still, as he leaned his cheek into the other’s touch, he thought Papyrus’ gentle stare from the other side of the pillow was looking extremely precious.

“morning, paps…” His voice sounded groggy and raspy but his tone was simply loving. There was something about waking up to the sight of Papyrus’ bubbly face that had him wishing for it for his every single morning from now on.

Papyrus’ eyes crinkled at the corners, lightening up. He shuffled closer to Sans, whose cheeks tinted as he noticed Papyrus was still completely devoid of clothes beneath the covers from last night.

Last night…

“Good morning, Sans!”

He shivered as he felt Papyrus’ body pressed against him. It was a pleasant kind of shiver, one that he hadn’t thought to ever be able to feel while indulging in such intimate physical contact, even one as simple as feeling the other’s body against his; feeling every dip and the smoothness of marrow. Even if he himself was fully clothed –ridiculously so- it still felt like he wasn’t; it felt like he could trace every single curve and dip, every single ridge with his eyes closed. He had stayed hours fantasizing about tracing the contours of Papyrus’ body and now he could stay hours memorizing the little sighs and moans that would come from such explorations. He could stay like this with him forever.

Last night was definitely something unexpected but he found himself relieved for not feeling a single ounce of regret. The absolutely happy expression on Papyrus was more than enough to strengthen that affirmation and their bond felt surer that ever. It was far from being consummated and they still had a long way to go for it to become stable and steady, just like their relationship, but they were on the right and fast way towards it. Their energies danced in harmony with no need for any effort. Together, they shared an understanding that went beyond any physical pleasure.

Even though it definitely helped, he thought, with a deepening of his blush.

He wasn’t recognizing the look Papyrus was now giving him, his cheerful smile tilting into a half smirk as he wrapped his long arms around him, one of his hands promptly burying underneath his shirt and leaving a slow, tender and warm trail up and across his naked back. Sans’ eyes widened, his spine arching slightly in response to the absolutely _delightful_ tingle that such a caress had given him and he sputtered somewhat shyly as Papyrus’ smirk widened into a kind smile once again.

“Slept well???”

 _yes_ , Sans thought fondly. He had slept blissfully dreamless, like he had been floating on a cloud amongst a vast white sky of nothingness. Just him and the warmth that guided him into inner peace, cradled carefully and figuratively in his hands. 

His gaze became half lidded as his body still felt slightly sensitive from last night’s activities –he still felt the cold in his cheeks intensify at all the arousing and very much real memories of sinful expressions and sounds of pleasure that he never really had the courage to fantasize about so perfectly. The hand on his back started moving once again, moving down along his spine and his breath hitched, one leg flinging around Papyrus’ hip and giving a tiny squeeze. He gave a breathy chuckle, feeling his magic responding to Papyrus’ more than suggestive movements and wondered if he had woken up a side of his brother that would be just as…energetic. He couldn’t contain another shiver as Papyrus’ face lowered down to his neck, lathering it with tiny skeleton kisses before his jaw opened and Sans jumped in surprise, feeling a sharp but pleasantly tingly sensation that came from the experimental nip.

Knowing that he still had a question to answer, his voice was blessedly steady as he did so.

“yea, it was alright.” Oh sweet ketchup, where was Papyrus’ hand going?

He gave a low hum of appreciation as those long fingers trailed down beneath the back of his shorts and his grin tilted up in slight mischievousness. Papyrus’ touches were still a bit hesitant but the burning curiosity lingered, now fueled with a knowing excitement that managed to still give them new sensations. His cheeks felt extremely cold as Papyrus thumbed the fabric of his shorts at the waistband, giving it small, almost teasing tugs, as if toying with the notion of pulling them off. Sans’ gaze became half lidded, arching his neck to give Papyrus a little more room while silently asking for more, allowing himself to indulge in these urges a bit more freely. It felt so amazing and it was all still so surreal. He was starved for it; he hungered for the intimacy that he didn’t deserve but asked for anyway and Papyrus seemed more than willing to share it with him, to allow him to be the first to do so with.

Caught up in the tender morning caresses on the back of his pelvis and hip, he lazily attempted to continue what could only be deemed as pillow talk.

“what about you, bro?”

Papyrus stopped his ministrations at his neck at that and Sans almost felt disappointed. He raised his head and gave him a bright smile, his arms stretching to wrap around him. Sans’ grin softened and he wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders as well, bumping their mouths together briefly. He sighed as Papyrus nuzzled his cheek, feeling his soul’s pulse quicken at the mixture of arousing and tender attention. Stars, his brother really had an unconscious but irresistible charm to him. He really wanted his every morning to be like this.

“I slept really well!!!” He answered excitedly, cuddling him. One of his hands burrowed underneath his shirt and Sans shivered at the casual touch that was still managing to get him worked up. He shamefully started to contain his arousal, not wanting Papyrus to actually realize how much of a pervert he was, to get so affected over tender and loving simple caresses. It was normal that after what happened, Papyrus became a bit touchier, wanting to explore another body. It was all about curiosity, he knew.

But it was becoming really hard (he he) to keep suppressing this want, this yearning he had for Papyrus. He didn’t want to hide it anymore, that he wanted him. Badly. And for so long…

“I had this really nice dream…!” He heard him say a bit lower, the words sounding fond, as if recalling a very nice memory. The word ‘dream’ was normally enough to make Sans stand at attention but this was Papyrus, after all. Sans gave a good natured huff, grin widening and slightly shaky as Papyrus’ hand kept its gentle caresses across his ribs and down his spine. His soul glowed intensely in return.

“oh? what was it about?” He asked lazily and somewhat teasingly, raising his face and looking at Papyrus, winking playfully. Papyrus’ cheeks tinted that pretty shade of orange as he beamed.

“You and me…!” Sans felt his soul flutter at hearing such simple but meaningful words. It was the way it has always been but hearing Papyrus say it made it sound so sweet and real. He could practically taste the righteousness in those words and how they both could definitely make it something special and everlasting.

And well, to know that Papyrus would dream about them was certainly interesting. His hands at the back of the other’s neck trailed down, stubby fingers tracing and making gentle scratching motions at the scapula and he could feel Papyrus shiver slightly in reaction, their breaths hitching as they could feel their souls harmonize, chests pressing together, one clothed and the other completely exposed.

 ** _tell me more._** He wished to say. **_what do you dream for us?_**

He felt a slight envy, not spiteful at all, of course. He just wished he could have his own sleep blessed by pleasant dreams of them. Together. Happy.

His grin wavered. Whenever Papyrus graced his dreams, he dreaded it. He feared it.

But he was content to know Papyrus could enjoy it for both of them. He was glad that Papyrus could find happiness even in his own dreams. He was relieved that he would always have somewhere to draw comfort from.

“It was…perhaps the most beautiful sight The Great Papyrus has ever seen…!”

His tone was laced with estranged wonder and curiosity, as if he wasn’t really sure what he had seen either but it had definitely been something to remember. Sans wondered what could have held such beauty to make his brother sound so dreamy. The only time Sans could compare such a tone was when he would boast about his racecar bed and how he would ride it one day down a highway, wind on his ‘hair’ and sun on his ‘skin’ –he always mentally snickers every time he remembers Papyrus saying that; he must have straight up taken it from some cheesy human novel.

He hummed encouragingly, lulled by their shared morning embrace and peaceful –and surprisingly not loud at all- conversation.

Papyrus nuzzled his cheek on their shared pillow thoughtfully, eyes becoming half lidded. His other hand that had been resting gently on his back shifted upwards to caress the back of Sans’ skull tenderly.

“We were standing on a high place and everything was so colorful. It was all very hazy but it felt so peaceful.”

Sans blinked, trying to envision such a sight even if Papyrus’ description sounded a bit vague so far. It sounded so very pleasant though and Sans was finding himself curious to know more about it.

Papyrus’ dreamy smile widened, his distant gaze focusing on him.

“I saw us bathed in a golden light and a sky that stretched forever. And it felt so warm…!” Papyrus’ fingers that were still trailing his ribs beneath his shirt absentmindedly shifted towards his back and slithered down his spine.

Papyrus’ brow creased slightly in thoughtfulness.

“You were saying something to me but I couldn’t make it out. We were just standing there, holding hands and staring at the bright golden light ahead.”

His expression shifted then to one of pure happiness, leaning his forehead against the other’s.

“I saw you smile.”

Sans made sure to try to give him one as well and Papyrus’ smile only brightened even more.

“that sounds great, paps.”

It sounded wonderful.

Papyrus nodded excitedly before his smile shifted into a telltale playful smirk once again and Sans made a slight sound of surprise as he was pushed onto his back. He blinked up at Papyrus as he settled on top of him, sheets sliding down his shoulders and pooling down his waist. Sans’ hands fidgeted with the fabric of his shirt nervously and self consciously as his arousal still hadn’t gone away and it was making itself blatantly obvious through his shorts. He tried to respectfully look away from the magic gathering on Papyrus’ pelvis as well and he was coming to terms that, yes, they now had a lot of time to continue where they left off.

Not that he was protesting, of course.

“h-huh, paps, i…-!!”

His eyes widened, his white pupils contracting impossibly into tiny pinpricks as he felt Papyrus fondle him through his shorts, his member taking shape rather quickly in response to the unexpected caress. He chanced a glance towards Papyrus’ face and found an expression of wonder and curiosity, cheeks tinted a deep orange. He wanted to cover his face in embarrassment as he unconsciously spread his legs a little to accommodate him, seeing the tip peeking out from his waistband. Papyrus tilted his head, long, elegant fingers tracing the contours of its engorged shape outlined by the black fabric, fascinated by how real it felt despite it being a result from a magical reaction and he wondered if perhaps he could focus enough to fabricate one of his own. He knew he had the ability to, he had just never done it before.

He leaned down a bit so he could be closer and he looked up at Sans, finding his flustered expression endearing, despite the fact that they already had the chance to explore each other’s bodies last night.

“Sans?”

Sans’ grin wavered, fingers still pulling at his shirt.

“…yea?”

Papyrus’ expression softened as Sans’ hips buckled slightly as he experimentally tugged on the waistband with his other hand, revealing just a tiny bit more. His brother seemed so self conscious and he understood it completely. He was fully aware that this was a bit of a touchy subject for Sans and he wondered how they both had had the courage to take those first steps last night. How Sans had shut down any inner demons for that one moment. And Papyrus didn’t want them to come back to haunt Sans again anytime soon.

“Can I see it??” He asked patiently but his excitement still laced his tone. He wanted to please Sans too and such activities had already been proven to be so much fun. He wanted to see more, feel more.

And admittedly, he too was finding the sight of Sans beneath him, flustered and all worked up, the teasing vision of his conjured member barely exposed and his expression a mixture of embarrassment and arousal, absolutely mesmerizing and, well…sexy.

That word was in the book too!

But yes, he thought Sans was looking pretty sexy right now.

Sans groaned at the question, his grin still wavering as he nodded, one of his hands coming down to hesitantly tug down his own shorts. Papyrus helped him too and as it slithered down, more and more was revealed: a shimmering and pretty detailed surface that curved nicely and bobbed slightly as it was freed from its confinement. Papyrus didn’t hesitant in taking it in his hand and Sans bucked a little more strongly at the warm, direct touch. Papyrus observed it, seeing how it fit nicely in his large hand and how soft and surprisingly fleshy it felt. It was cold from Sans’ magic but pleasantly so and he could hear Sans’ low fractured little moans already. Papyrus took the shorts completely off from the other’s legs and leaned in even closer. Sans uttered a curse, toes curling on the satiny fabric of the sheets as Papyrus gave a slow, languid stroke.

“…f-fuck…nngh…” He pondered in biting something so he could contain his shameful and overly dirty moaning. Now this was something that he had fantasized about before. How many nights had he craved for Papyrus’ warm touch on his body and especially where it was currently, doing exactly what he was doing now and more?

“Wowie…!” He heard Papyrus say, gaze still focused on his member and the way it twitched against his hand, becoming wetter and slick. Papyrus was admiring the nice shade and color of it though, the blue of Sans’ magic being something that he had always secretly liked.

“It’s really pretty, Sans!!” He complimented honestly and Sans felt like laughing and hiding in a hole at the same time. How Papyrus could describe something as debauched* as a dick as ‘pretty’ and still make it sound like a genuine compliment, he didn’t know.

“hm…huh…thanks…? n-hnn~” His moans were starting to sound breathy, with a slightly whining tone at the end as Papyrus kept the ridiculously slow pace, massaging the conjured flesh of his member in amazement, drawing out more and more of his shameful manifestations of pleasure. His thighs trembled in restraint and his hand that was fidgeting with his shirt bunched it up in a fist, tugging it up and unintentionally exposing his spine and the beginnings of his ribcage, his soul’s glow bright and evident.

Papyrus watched it all, feeling his own body heating up once again, now more familiar with such feelings and knowing exactly what they meant. He _really_ liked seeing Sans like this, letting it all out for once, still embarrassed but open about his pleasure.

He felt the telltale tingling sensation of his own magic gathering on his pelvis and that was when he had an idea. He kept his grip on Sans’ member while shuffling closer, straddling Sans’ waist. Sans looked up at him with a confused, half lidded stare, his white pupils widening now and making his gaze seem adoring and trustful.

They both let out a breathy moan as Papyrus grinded his pelvis against the other’s member, the sparks of their gathered magic sending sharp, pleasurable and intense jolts. Papyrus was forced to close his eyes as the teasing proximity of their most intimate parts amplified the sensations and he moved his hips once again, giving another experimental thrust, while still stroking Sans’ member.

Sans couldn’t keep his grin shut and it parted slowly, huffing pants coming out as his hand tugged his shirt upwards a bit more and he shivered from the cold air that graced his ribcage.

“oh…s-stars…paps…!” He looked up at the same time Papyrus opened his eyes, half lidded stares meeting before he was drawn to the way the other’s pelvis was grinding and sliding down smoothly and sensually against his dick. As Papyrus found a steady rhythm, their bodies followed their movements, making the bed creak slightly.

Papyrus let out a pent up sigh, wanting more, needing more. His arousal was practically peaking. He looked down and admired Sans’ flustered state, giving him that absolutely surrendered love struck gaze that Papyrus had found himself craving before.

“Hmm….a-ahn! S-Sans…!” He bucked his hips, giving a particularly rough thrust and Sans let out a loud groan, deep and laced with a resounding growl. Papyrus found the sound plainly erotic, the constant build up on his pelvis quickly becoming overwhelming as he sped up the grinding pace a little more. He leaned down to be a bit more level with Sans and shifted his position so he was kneeling between the other’s legs now and they bounced with his more urgent movements as they kept grinding their lower parts. Sans let go of his hold on his shirt to wrap one of his arms around Papyrus’ neck and the other around his ribcage, fingers scratching passionately across his back.

“nnng…a-ah…! f-fucking…o-oh my…! p-payrus!” Sans felt lost in the sensations, their energies sparking and mixing, giving them a constant exchange of pleasure. He could see the beginnings of Papyrus’ member, rubbing enticingly against his and he vowed to help his brother with that as the pace turned harsh and almost begging as Papyrus kept grinding their lower halves.

“Saaans…! I-I f-feel…! Ngh…a-aah! I want m-more!”

Sans brought out a hand to Papyrus’ hip then, trying his best to still him –which wasn’t easy- trying to coerce him into a steadier pace, instead of the clumsy but eager one that the other had set. They moaned simultaneously and Papyrus let himself be led as Sans starting thrusting against him as well and he started feeling a heaviness centering in his pelvis. He closed his eyes and focused on that feeling, feeling the slickness of Sans’ member cold and throbbing against his own.

He opened his eyes then as it dawned on him. Against his own…?

He looked down and his breath hitched as he saw his member fully formed, colored the bright orange of his magic and his blush deepened impossibly. It was a bit longer than Sans’ but not as thick and he thought it was more than belonging in that way. Sans too, had seemed to notice and his half lidded gaze was glued on it as his thrusts became a bit harsher. There was that hunger that made Papyrus feel secretly hotter, feeling his beloved’s eyes admiring his length.

“d-damn, that’s a nice cock…” Sans uttered, letting the thought slip and his eyes widened then in embarrassment, looking up at Papyrus to see if his mindless appraisal had weirded the other out.

On the contrary, Papyrus flushed even more at the crude compliment, giving him a shy, pleased smile as he continued his own grinding as well. He looked down at their joined arousals and thought that the colors blended and complimented each other nicely in a way. And it felt so good to have something fleshy of his own, something that was an obvious vessel for pleasure where everything could be focused on it with such intensity that he felt he could burst at any time. He slithered one of his hands up his spine, caressing himself and guiltily feeling even more sensitive as he felt Sans’ eyes on his every movement. He felt completely exposed but it felt nice as well. He trusted and loved Sans with all his soul and being and it was blissful to be able to show it in such intimate ways. He wanted Sans’ eyes on him and him alone. He wanted him to look and keep telling him how he found him beautiful in all ways, how he just couldn’t stop staring.

And Papyrus would retribute such looks with his own, making sure to give Sans a good ‘show’ –he had read in the ‘Dating Book’ that it was a good way to please and tease his partner!- as he wrapped his large hand around both of their members and started stroking slowly. He couldn’t envelop them both fully but it was enough to create a nice pace and pleasant burning friction. The bedroom was silent besides the sounds of their moans and pants and groans and even the occasional whine, the bed’s creaking much more obvious now as Sans’ hands went to grab at Papyrus’ hips and they set up a steady pace.

“F-Feels…so good, Sans…! Nnnngh…a-ah!” His back arched and he closed his eyes tightly as their thrusts quickened, members relatively wet now and making slick sounds that Papyrus was sure should sound really dirty but only managed to arouse him further.

Sans was biting his own arm now, eyes barely open and grin looking sharp and yet dazed, not able to control his movements anymore as he bucked harshly and increasingly faster into Papyrus’ hand and against the unbearably warm cock sliding so enticingly against his. Stars, he was so close. Papyrus just looked so good on top of him and the sight was so sinful that he hardly believed it wasn’t taken right from his deepest fantasies.

“oh, f-fuck…p-paps, i’m going to..” His body was bucking along the other’s movements, Papyrus’ force making him slide repeatedly on the bed. His legs tightened in a vice grip around the other’s waist and Papyrus leaned down until their ribcages were barely touching, grazing ever so slightly with their thrusts. The pressure on his soul and crotch was bursting at the seams and Sans’ whole body trembled violently as he arched his spine, biting harder on his arm. He looked up at Papyrus with a pleading gaze and Papyrus returned it tenfold, his hand letting go of his own spine and bringing it to Sans’ hip, trailing it down his femur and gripping it firmly as they rode each other. Papyrus buried his face on the crook of Sans’ neck, moaning his name now and then as his member throbbed, a steady pulse wrecking him into bliss.

“…g-going to c-come…” Sans’ voice was raspy and slightly high pitched as small tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, muffling his loud moans in his arm. It only took a few more rough, fast thrusts before his toes were curling, flinging his arms around Papyrus desperately and calling out his name in bliss as he reached his orgasm, his whole body giving one last violent shudder as he arched and bucked his hips in broken, stuttering movements, his release staining him and Papyrus.

Papyrus kept going, being close himself and the sound of Sans’ orgasmic cries had only spurred him on, giving a few more clumsy, strong thrusts before his member throbbed one last time, his grip on Sans’ femur tightening before he reached orgasm as well, thick spurts of his release joining Sans’ in his hand and in their bodies. Sans gave a low whine, feeling extremely sensitive as Papyrus’ hand gave a few final strokes and they both then slumped against each other, panting heavily. They gave each other a few seconds to catch themselves, enjoying one more afterglow and Papyrus raised his head from his spot on Sans’ neck, looking down at him fondly. Golly, this was starting to become one of his favorite expressions to see on Sans: all flushed and absolutely satisfied, gaze half lidded and threatening to close. He just looked so…carefree.

Just like he had wanted for Sans to be.

He leaned into Sans’ hand as he raised it to caress his cheek and he turned his head to give a skeleton kiss to the palm, his own hand coming up to trace the wrist gently.

“have i told you that i love you today?” He uttered breathlessly, grin soft and white pupils focused on him.

Papyrus’ previously fading blush returned and his smile brightened, shaking his head.

Sans chuckled, thumb tracing the edge of his eye socket.

“i love you.” Sans felt like he could say it forever and never get tired of the sweet taste of honest freedom it always gave him. He wanted to tell the whole world.

Papyrus sighed happily, leaning down and bumping their mouths together gently. His eyes crinkled at the corners, humming in languid pleasure.

“I love you too, Sans.”

Always.

He wouldn’t tell Sans how his eyes would always confess his feelings for him every single minute of every single day. It was always wonderful to hear it out loud, after all.

 

* * *

 

He didn’t know how but he had convinced Papyrus that he would cook them breakfast this time. Understandably, Papyrus had given him a skeptical look from where he laid on the bed but Sans had been quick to remind him that he had cooked before. Long before Papyrus, after all. He had cooked…things.

Some of them had been edible enough.

And everything became edible with a bit of ketchup anyway. As so, he let Papyrus take his time in his room to get ready. After all that lovely pillow talk, his brother had been quick to return to his normal, slightly paranoid self, claiming that they couldn’t laze in bed for a moment longer and that they should be getting ready. Sans had tuned out most of it, his grin only widening in amusement, drawing comfort from such normality –for a second, he feared that maybe sex would make things slightly awkward between them- only intervening when Papyrus started getting out of bed, claiming that he had to get the kitchen ready to start cooking their breakfast. He had stood up then, searching for his shorts and his cheeks tinting slightly as he found them almost next to his hoodie jacket –that he had taken off somewhere in the middle of last night- on the floor.

And now here he was. With Papyrus’ cooking notebook open and about to make a…what was it called? A quiche? Or was it a pie, actually? He remembered hearing the old lady behind the large door at the Ruins tell him about making such pastries.

It didn’t look to be difficult to make. He read every step carefully and still wholeheartedly admitted that he didn’t have a clue of what he was doing. He just mixed the ingredients the best he could and shoved the dubious result on the oven, turning the heat switch to midway. As he waited, he heard Papyrus’ loud footsteps upstairs as he was getting ready and he leaned against their counter, looking through the kitchen window absentmindedly.

Perhaps it was his imagination but he could swear he saw the slight sway of yellow petals from the corner of his eye.

He decided he might as well just head towards the living room while whatever he had made was cooking and plopped down on the couch, turning on the TV. The lulling sounds of it as the mornings shows started and the still tingly and blissful afterglow fresh on his mind and body coerced him into a dormant state and his lids began to droop, like he always seemed to do. He was prevented from falling into a deep slumber though, being woken up by Papyrus’ loud voice.

“SANS WHAT IS THAT SMELL???!”

Sans’ eyes widened. The quiche!

…Did that mean it was ready?

He got up from the couch and shuffled his way towards the kitchen at the same time he could hear Papyrus thumping his way down the stairs. As he opened the lid of the oven, he blinked as he peered at the result of his ‘cooking’.

It didn’t look that bad.

“…WHAT EVEN IS THAT???”

He grabbed the oven mitts nearby and took the quiche out, holding it in his gloved hands. Papyrus was now right beside him, looking at it curiously but suspiciously and Sans just ended up looking up at him and shrugging. He put it on the counter and they both kept staring at it, still trying to figure it out. It didn’t look burnt but it also didn’t look too good either. They knew better than to judge something by its exterior though.

Did they?

Sans made a lazy gesture towards it.

“breakfast is ready.”

Papyrus almost looked offended.

“I’M NOT EATING THAT!!”

Sans faked a hurt expression, though he knew it was fruitless. His grin didn’t fool anyone.

“aw. you’re just going to abandon it?”

Papyrus just rolled his eyes and shook his head. He gave him a skeleton kiss to the top of his skull and Sans chuckled.

“WELL AT LEAST YOU TRIED! IT WAS A…GOOD EFFORT??”

Sans nodded absentmindedly and watched Papyrus open their fridge, probably seeing if they had perhaps any spaghetti leftovers. He felt slightly disappointed that he couldn’t hold his word on not having Papyrus cook for today but he also couldn’t feel too bad about it.

He caught another sharp movement from the window once again and his eyes narrowed.

Fool me once…

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I used the word 'debauched' because to monsters, I would say, genitals are really just for sex since it was estabilished in the game that they don't really digest their food in the same way as humans do.
> 
> Here's one more wonderful and gorgeous [illustration](http://red-roka.tumblr.com/post/140983150883/breaking-point-chapter-18-i-hope-i-could) by the talented red-roka. Love youuuu! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was becoming too long once again so I'm going to split it in two where it felt right to end it. (`･ω･´) Please enjoy the nineteenth chapter! <3

Sans’ eyes drooped as he sat at his post, arms lying crossed on the counter and chin resting on them. His posture slouched even more as he watched the absolute nothing go by, snowflakes falling slowly.

His eyes narrowed as he saw one of them seemingly stutter in time before continuing its natural course. It wasn’t the first time he noticed something like that today too. It was as if mere seconds were being constantly brought back and forth, creating a ripple in the steady flow of time. It was as if it was being forced to bend at a higher will.

It’s been some time since he continued delving in such mysteries, since he continued searching for answers to questions that he didn’t even know existed. The silencing of his soul had made him question his own will to keep going and as so, he couldn’t just afford to care anymore. Back then, he had been sure that he could vanish from existence in a blink of an eye and not even a scratch of a disturbance would be caused. Back then, he could dream of a thousand deaths, feel himself shatter to pieces and drift away, and it wouldn’t make a difference. He had stopped wondering if there was any way to alter such a notion.

Even now, he couldn’t bother to think too much on it. As he lazily extended a hand towards the outside of his post, he felt the natural chill of the weather contrast against his own and observed the snowflakes that would lay gently, softly in his hand, like cold driven kisses. His half lidded gaze could still catch the anomaly’s influence: the way the snowflakes shivered and seemed to turn back up for a fraction of a second in their relentless fall was something that could be easily unnoticeable but he was long familiar with. It wasn’t only in the snowflakes either. Sometimes he could see it in a bird’s flight, sometimes he could see it in the simple sway of the incredibly tall trees of Snowdin’s forest.

Sometimes he could even see it in monsters.

Sometimes he would think he was crazy.

It has really been a long time since he pondered on such things. His grin softened as his thoughts shifted to Papyrus –like they always seem to do, from time to time- and how he had shown him that it didn’t have to be all about such things. What good did to him to be so aware of a reality that he could do absolutely nothing about? If he could only focus on the present, on the fact that the snowflakes were indeed falling, instead of the ever present and unnervingly out of place stuttering of its natural course, then wouldn’t he just be playing the part that he was always supposed to?

Everything was always reduced to such small, little details that he stopped taking in the bigger picture. In his constant search for inner peace and answers, he had also managed to give up on himself and his own happiness. When everything else mattered so much, his own person stopped mattering at all.

He sighed, feeling another headache coming. Why did he always have to complicate everything? For someone who is always insisting on adopting a passive and careless kind of lifestyle, he sure did an awful amount of worrying.

His grin twitched, leaning his head on a fist now, as he stared ahead at the white horizon. Sometimes he could still imagine the dance of bright red lying on the snow. Like a bright standard on unclaimed ground; the mark of something that was irreversibly taken.

He guesses it’s all because he still has something worth protecting.

And someone.

He understands that he hasn’t been doing a very good job at it though. And the air around seemed heavier somehow, as if he was eventually running out of time. As if he would have to make a decision soon. As if he would have to finally _do_ something.

And he didn’t know what to do.

The fragments of memories long lost –some that he still couldn’t decide if they were real or just desperate conjuring from his own mind- would continue to haunt him and fester his dreams. Sometimes he would catch glimpses of a lost timeline filled with hope and relief. He would catch glimpses of smiles that he stopped seeing so often and the laughter of a child, vibrant and full of life. And he would feel his own absolute happiness and the so called inner peace that he has been after so relentlessly. If only for just a moment. Those were mere glimpses, like tiny glass shards flashing him such images and sounds and feelings. As if cruelly reminding him of something far greater and worth living for.

The heaviness of sleep started pulling him, making his eyes start to close slowly and his pupils vanish. The whistle of the wind and the quiet sounds of morning nature were lulling him into the dormant state that he already succumbed to before today.

Even after everything, he thinks he’s still deserving of a break. Papyrus won’t mind as long as he doesn’t know of it… hehe.

“NYEEEEH!!!!”

Sans’ eyes snapped open immediately at the sound of the distant cry, not even having to think twice as he focused his power towards its assumed direction and felt his body shift with the incredible speed of teleportation. His soul was pulsing erratically, pupils contracted into tiny pinpricks of light as he landed on the end of a bridge. From where he was standing, he could hear small sounds of struggle in the form of Papyrus’ voice.

“…paps?” He called out in the otherwise still relatively silent environment as he hurried his steps slightly, the snow crunching underneath his slippers. This was the place where Papyrus has been working on a puzzle these past couple of days.

Another small groan. Was he hurt? In his head, he was already trying to suppress all the absolutely terrifying scenarios. He didn’t need that right now, he needed to find him and make sure he was truly alright. Which he was. Please.

“papyrus, is everything alright??” He thought he heard Papyrus’ breath hitch then, as if finally hearing him. There was the sound of more rustling and strained groans as he assumedly got closer to where Papyrus was.

“OH! SANS!! …YOU’RE HERE! I-I’M FINE, NO NEED TO COME ANY CLOSER!!! I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!!!!”

Sans felt relief at the very Papyrus-like answer, noticing he sounded normal and not hurt, albeit he could detect a few hints of disguised embarrassment. Once the worry was tamed, curiosity took its place.

He let out a snort as he kept trailing the sound of his voice, now entering a wide open clearing with the trees looming ahead. It was coming from there. He heard a few more noises of struggle and raised a brow as he breached the line of trees, turning a corner.

“paps, i’m coming.”

…

He could have phrased that differently.

He heard a sputter of outrage and snickered.

“SANS I TOLD YOU THERE’S NO NEED FOR YOU TO COME ANY CLOSER!!! I’M FINE!! GO BACK TO YOUR POST!! YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU SHOULD **ACTUALLY** BE, YOU BONEHEAD!!!”

Sans only tried to contain his laughter as his brother’s indignant nagging grew louder and louder. The crunch of the snow signaled his approaching footsteps and as he peeked from another tree, his grin widened as he finally found him.

He brought his hand to his mouth to try and hide his obvious chuckle –not that it would work, his grin was just too blatant.

“oh. there you are, paps. i see now you were right, you are just…”

Dangling upside down from a rope trap attached to a high branch of one of the tall trees was Papyrus, who was still trying to reach the knot encircling his foot. After noticing Sans’ presence and the atrocity he knew was about to come out of that wide grin, he immediately directed his all too famous –to Sans, at least- narrowed glare.

“SANS DON’T-!!!”

“…hanging around.”

“SANS WHY????!!”

Papyrus could only sigh. Why did he even love this bonehead so much?

Despite it all, his mouth twitched in a poorly concealed smile. Sans, of course, noticed it as always and his grin softened lovingly.

He shuffled closer and directly underneath Papyrus, tilting his head as he observed the actually pretty impressive knot.

Did Papyrus make that?

“c’mon, bro, i’ll help you.” He said calmly and still with a hint of amusement, as his left eye started to glow faintly.

Papyrus huffed and chuckled somewhat nervously, waving it off.

“NONSENSE, SANS!! I TOLD YOU I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!!! I JUST-“

Papyrus’ hand started leaving a faint trail of orange as he focused his magic to summon a sharp bone. He closed one of his eyes and if he had a tongue he would have stuck it out as he aimed towards where the knot met the rest of the rope.

“…NEED TO-!!” He flung the bone to his target and the sharp end of the bone cut through the knot effortlessly. As it made a loud backlash sound, his eyes widened as he started to fall at the same time Sans warned him:

“…wait, paps…!”

It was too late however. Sans, who was directly beneath him, found himself in the position to catch him.

Which he surprisingly did. Clumsily and in bridal style, he managed to catch him and hold him for a second before his knees buckled from the weight and force of gravity and toppled to the floor on his bony butt and then onto his back. They both groaned and Sans was currently thanking the stars for the deep layers of snow that had softened the impact.

Papyrus was the first to straighten up, sitting up and straddling Sans, rubbing a hand on the back of his skull. He glanced at the bit of rope that was still wrapped around his foot and expertly untied it. As he heard Sans groan, he looked back down at him with a hint of worry, fretting over him and quickly searching for any more serious wounds.

“OH! SANS ARE YOU ALRIGHT?? YOU’RE NOT HURT ARE YOU???”

Sans, who had closed his eyes once he had also checked if Papyrus was alright, opened one lazily, peering up at him. His grin tilted into an amused smirk.

“yea, bro. no worry.”

Papyrus’ expression shifted into relief as he smiled brightly. He put his hands on his hips and looked up at what remained of his trap –that had turned against its creator!!- and shook his head.

“WHAT A WASTE!! I GUESS I SHOULD JUST PLACE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!”

Sans looked up at where the trap was too and then looked back at Papyrus, who was scratching his chin thoughtfully. His grin became relaxed as he hummed absentmindedly and one of his hands strayed towards the other’s slightly exposed hip, giving  casual but tender caresses as his fingers traced the increasingly familiar ridges and soft texture of marrow. Papyrus shivered slightly at the touch and met Sans’ hand, his own long, gloved fingers intertwining with the stubbier, naked ones.

“hmm, yea, you should. that was a pretty dangerous stunt there, bro.”

Papyrus raised a brow, taking the affirmation as some kind of challenge. His smile became proud and his tone boastful.

“NYEH! NOTHING IS TOO DANGEROUS FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!!”

Sans huffed good naturedly and shrugged, his caresses at the other’s hip shifting towards the back of his spine, making Papyrus arch the tiniest bit into it. The faintest of orange started tinting his cheeks. He still hadn’t made a move to get off of Sans. It was actually pretty comfortable.

Sans chuckled quietly to himself then and Papyrus tilted his head curiously, hips wiggling slightly where he was sitting on Sans’ lap. Sans choked in his chuckles for a second at that before he cleared his throat, grin widening mischievously.

“WHAT’S SO FUNNY NOW, LAZYBONES???”

Papyrus’ tone was curious, albeit slightly admonishing. With Sans’ sense of humor, he knew he was about to come up with something cringe worthy again. He also tried not to pay much attention to the hand that was still gently stroking the back of his spine. Which he was failing. It felt really soothing.

It also made him wonder just how much Sans had ‘grown’ these past weeks. Wowie, he couldn’t actually believe it’s been almost a month since he started consulting the ‘Dating Book’. And his relationship with Sans started changing completely.

The fact that now Sans could look at him with such an open loving expression, that he now could touch him with almost to no hesitation…it made his soul glow brighter and his being rejoice with hope. He had wanted for so long to see Sans smile again, to hear him laugh like he means it, to just be with him without any unresolved tension.

It truly felt like they could finally be together.

“you could say…”

Papyrus’ smile twitched, his expression softening slightly as the growing tint on Sans’ cheeks matched his.

“…you really _fell_ for me.”

Papyrus’ whole nature screamed against it but he couldn’t fight the deepening of his blush, despite his inner outrage at yet another pun. That was two already today and still counting.

As Papyrus became increasingly flustered, the teasing but all too truthful and hopeful tone that Sans had used making him feel all warm and fuzzy, Sans’ grin twitched uncertainly once he didn’t get the expected reaction of disbelief that would always follow one of his puns. Papyrus’ face felt really hot now. Despite it being a pun, it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. And he couldn’t shake off that it had been said so sweetly and fondly.

Sans really met all his standards!

Papyrus promptly covered his heated face with his gloved hands, eyes peeking from the spaces between his fingers.

Sans could feel himself start to sweat as he started to sit up, not knowing how to take Papyrus’ silence. He removed his hand from its place on the other’s spine and it hovered uselessly in the air, not knowing what to do next.

He tried to chuckle it off as he started feeling awkward.

“h-huh, sorry paps, perhaps that was too cringy-“

“Yes.”

“-huh?”

Papyrus uncovered his face then, smile bright and honest as he lowered himself so he could be a bit more level with Sans. His hands rested on the other’s cheeks, fingers tracing the lines he already knew all too well in slow, tiny movements. Sans blinked but his face started feeling colder. Inside him, his soul pulsed in a steady rhythm.

“Yes. It seems I really did.”

Finally catching up to what Papyrus meant, Sans’ eyes widened and his cheeks were glowing a very obvious blue now. His grin twitched as something bubbled up deep inside him, something that he hasn’t felt for a long time and so, didn’t recognize at first.

“ha…hahaha!” It started out small but it quickly increased in volume. His eyes crinkled at the corners and his pupils shimmered in a completely different kind of way. His grin widened brightly and his chest puffed with the small bursts as he slowly wrapped his arms around Papyrus and held him close, burying his face on his chest.

And he laughed.

Papyrus blinked before he made a low gasping sound, looking down at Sans with a curious wonder. Was he…?

Papyrus closed his eyes as he smiled, listening to the clear crystal and almost melodious sound of Sans’ genuine laughter, his own hands moving to rest one on the top of his skull and the other on his back, giving tender caresses.

It really has been so long since he had heard that sound. He wanted to keep it with him forever. He wanted to hear it for many more times to come. He wanted to memorize it and yet also not have to.

It was such a pure, contagious sound. And he had missed it so dearly.

He felt Sans’ embrace tighten around him and he laughed too, leaning down and nuzzling the side of Sans’ face to then move down to his neck. The sounds of morning and nature were now relatively louder around them as their bubbling laughter slowly and peacefully started to simmer down.

“man…” Sans began, giving Papyrus another tight squeeze, fingers dragging gently up and down his back. He rested his chin on the other’s shoulder and closed his eyes, another chuckle escaping him. “it’s still hard to believe sometimes.”

Papyrus’ smile softened as he sighed, raising himself from his favorite spot on the other’s neck. One of his hands raised and coerced Sans to face him, who did with no resistance, gaze relaxed but always showing that hint of weariness that seemed to follow him everywhere.

“Well, it’s true!!” Papyrus said in a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone, the beats of his soul resounding strongly inside him. “So you better get used to it!!!”

Sans looked down, trying to hide the waver of his grin.

_i wish i could._

He huffed, looking up at Papyrus with his usual relaxed expression back on.

“i don’t deserve yo-unff!!” His self deprecating affirmation was promptly interrupted by a sudden but very much welcomed skeleton kiss. Seeing the slightly irked and yet still loving expression on Papyrus’ face –his cheeks colored a bright orange and eyes closed tight- made his own lids drop, flinging his arms around the other’s neck and tracing the cervical vertebrae.  They stayed like that for a few seconds, savoring the moment that was just theirs. Their souls danced in pulses and beats, heavy and yet light will all manners of feelings.

Hope.

Fear.

Love.

Doubt.

It’s what made their relationship as so.

As they parted, Sans was thrown one final glance. And it was enough for him to regret slightly what he had been about to say before he was interrupted.

 _Nonsense._ He seemed to say. And it really was. He knew.

But he still couldn’t help it.

He was trying though.

They stood up then and started getting out of the beginning of the forest and into the wide clearing. Sans had been too distracted to notice before but now he could see that the ground was littered with a strange arrangement of stones, all of them seemingly press able like some sort of button.

Oh. So _this_ was the puzzle his brother had been working on.

Noticing his scrutinizing, Papyrus’ smile brightened as he strode towards the other side of the clearing, waving at him excitedly from it. Sans tilted his head in confusion.

“IF YOU LOOK AT IT FROM THIS ANGLE, IT SHOULD LOOK JUST LIKE MY FACE!!!”

Papyrus then blinked, shuffling a bit to the left and leaning his head to the right. His smile widened.

“YES!!  IT IS REALLY STARTING TO LOOK LIKE IT!!! DEFINITELY!! “

It wasn’t.

Sans shuffled his way towards his side and did the same. He stole a glance at the other’s enthusiastic stance and his grin widened fondly.

“heh. you’re right, bro.”

Papyrus beamed at the answer, even if it was just given to indulge him. He huffed good naturedly then, turning to Sans and putting his hands on his hips.

“WELL, NOW THAT YOUR NEEDLESS CURIOSITY HAS BEEN HUMORED, I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO YOUR POST!!! I KNOW YOU ARE TRYING TO USE ME AS AN EXCUSE TO SLACKING OFF, SANS!!”

Sans narrowed his eyes playfully then, his grin twitching as he tried to look even the least bothered.

“aw, shucks. busted.”

 Papyrus giggled, pushing him gently towards the direction of his post. Sans chuckled, heels digging in the snow as they scraped against it.

“TIME TO GO, LAZYBONES!! GET BACK TO WORK!!!”

Sans looked up at him then and Papyrus stopped pushing once he reached for the back of his neck, pulling him down. The orange tint returned to his cheeks.

“one more kiss?”

Papyrus’ smile widened as he nodded, not even having to think on it twice. He met Sans’ mouth halfway as the other raised himself on his tip toes to meet his and they felt the telltale sparks of exchanged energy as they mouths bumped in a skeleton kiss, eyes closing and savoring it like always.

Once they parted, Sans started walking away on his own volition, looking back one last time and waving. Papyrus waved back with a sigh and a shake of his head but inside his soul was soaring.

“Howdy!”

Papyrus blinked and turned to where the new voice was coming from behind him. His mouth opened slightly in surprise as he saw a golden flower sticking out from the snow, completely out of nowhere. And what was even more unusual was that the flower seemingly had a face and could apparently talk.

Quickly beaming at the opportunity of making a new friend –and he had been greeted so politely and cheerfully, after all!- he walked towards the flower and kneeled, so he could be a bit more level with it.

“HELLO THERE!! I DON’T THINK I HAVE SEEN YOU AROUND BEFORE!!!” He smiled brightly and the flower was quick to return it tenfold. Now that he could look at it more closely, there was something about this flower that struck him as very oddly familiar. It was weird but he felt like he did see it before. Countless of time actually. But also not. For now, he shook that feeling off as he then pointed at himself proudly. “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND I’M A ROYAL GUARD…IN TRAINING!! BUT I’LL BECOME ONE SOON!!!”

The flower made a sound of surprise then, winking.

“You’re training for the Royal Guard?? Golly, you must be strong then!”

The flower’s smile widened even more, an amused glint in its eyes as Papyrus’ expression became absolutely amazed at the praise.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Papyrus!”

The smile tilted into an almost unnoticeable smirk.

“I’m Flowey! Flowey the Flower!”

 

* * *

 

It was still relatively early when Sans returned home. He had run out of hot dogs and hot cats and that obviously translated to closing the business early to him, of course –even though it was only because he had forgotten to restock, hehe.

The house was fairly silent so he assumed Papyrus was probably still doing patrol duty or recalibrating his puzzles again. He closed the front door silently and shuffled his way to the kitchen, going to the fridge to take out one of his ketchup bottles in the back. As he sipped on it, he pondered if he should go watch some TV or take a nap. It’s been a while since he slept in his own bed, he remembered with a slight blush.

Nap it is then. He would still have a few hours before Papyrus returned slamming the front door and waking him.

As he decided, he made his way up the stairs. His ketchup bottle was already halfway empty as he kept sipping nonstop, the familiar flavor that he liked to crave satisfying the phantom addiction embedded in his soul. As he was passing through the bathroom door though it was suddenly flung open right in front of him and he dropped his bottle as he was startled out of his wits, seeing a long, graceful bony arm holding the knob.

“OH! SANS!!! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE HOME ALREADY!!”

Sans’ pupils had shrunk to tiny pinpricks as he tried to calm his soul. Stars, living with Papyrus was always too intense for someone like him sometimes.

He cleared his throat and chuckled as he bent to pick up the bottle of ketchup. It had left a little stain on the wooden floorboard.

“he he, i could say the same to you-“ His trail of thought practically derailed as he turned his head to look at Papyrus, regretting it (albeit only slightly, he admitted) right after as he saw him completely devoid of any clothing and towel flung over his shoulder. He was probably fresh out of the shower, since there were still small droplets of water occasionally dripping down his body.

His face felt unbearably cold as he immediately tried to avert his gaze, directing his gaze down to the ketchup bottle in his hand. From the corner of his eye, he could see Papyrus lean on the doorway in an attempt of a casual pose –what was he doing??

“SO! WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU HOME SO EARLY THEN?? …YOU’RE NOT SLACKING OFF ARE YOU???”

His tone was slightly admonishing but his whole stance screamed something else, something inviting.

Sans was very confused.

“h-huh, no, bro. i just managed to get everything done earlier today.”

Papyrus wasn’t sure if he was doing this right. He had seen a picture in the ‘Dating Book’ that he had wanted to mimic and now was actually a perfect opportunity to do so but he also felt conflicted between doing so and nagging Sans for obviously being his lazy self.

He had forgotten his clothes in his bedroom but didn’t see it as much of a big deal since he thought he would be alone for a considerable time. Seeing Sans here had been a pleasant, albeit suspicious, surprise.

Now if Sans would look at him. He didn’t have ‘hot abs’ like in the description of that picture but he sure did have ‘hot bones’, if he said so himself!

“HMM! I’M NOT CONVINCED! BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL LET IT SLIP THIS TIME!!!”

Sans could feel himself start to sweat as he tried not to look. This was really awkward. He had seen Papyrus naked countless of times, even before their relationship became more than platonic, even before he started developing romantic feelings for him. It shouldn’t be that much of a big deal, he should have been able to shake it off with a stupid pun about bones or something like that.

But now he was stuck between doing the right and polite thing and just continue on his way to his bedroom or just…stay there and allow himself to stare.

Blatantly.

And perhaps even do something. Maybe.

He promptly brought the tip of the ketchup bottle to his mouth and gulped down the entire rest of it.

“he he. thanks for the mercy, bro.”

Oh, the irony.

Noticing Sans’ poor hidden discomfort, Papyrus found himself confused. Was he doing something wrong?

The way Sans kept avoiding looking at him was making him feel a bit discouraged and…silly. Perhaps he had crossed one of those thresholds where the Dating Book’s tips couldn’t be applied to someone like Sans. Sometimes it was hard for him to know what would be okay and not. Everything was so straightforward in that book, after all!

“Sans, why won’t you look at me?” He saw Sans visibly cringe slightly at the question, burying one of his hands on one of his pockets. He noticed that that was also a nervous tick of his.

“heh, i don’t know, bro. i guess it’s because i can see you stripped down to the bone?”

That one was so bad. But there was also a slight edge to his tone, as if he just wanted to say that and flee right after. Papyrus sighed through his nose, smile softening and taking the one step needed to be just right beside him, resting his hand gently on his shoulder and coercing him to turn and face him.

“h-hah, paps…-“

“You can look, silly.”

Sans looked up at him then sheepishly, grin twitching in awkwardness. The air around them seemed to become lighter as he chuckled. He really did feel so silly, complicating it like that.

He just always thought Papyrus was so attractive, even in a platonic way, all tall, lean and elegant in his physique. He never really cared much about the looks of others or even his own. But he certainly still could appreciate beauty.

He stammered as Papyrus took his hand and brought it to his ribcage, the familiarity of such a scene making him feel ridiculous. It was a bit unfair that Papyrus still had to assure him of such things, even after the strong intimacy they now share.

“And you can touch too.” His gaze was gentle and half lidded, spreading Sans’ fingers and allowing him to rest his hand right above his sternum, where his soul glowed strongly. Sans could feel their bond through it, how it had developed so much and so quickly since it had been created. It reminded him that they still needed to be careful with it. It was something very serious, something that couldn’t be easily backtracked and it still scared him.

It was time that Papyrus _really_ knew what he was getting himself into. And whatever his answer is, even after that, Sans will accept it.

Even if it tears him to pieces.

He cleared his throat.

“paps, i think it’s time we talk about something.”

He was surprised by how Papyrus’ expression immediately fell, probably remembering the last time he had said something similar. It was clear that Papyrus was no longer fond of obligatory talks.

“S-Sans, was it something I…-?”

“no, paps.” He was quick to correct him, gaze fond and hand soothingly caressing him where it still rested on his sternum. “you did nothing wrong.”

_you’ve been wonderful._

His hand fell to his side and he buried it inside his pocket. His eyes shifted to the side, trying to figure how the best way to say it.

“but it’s important. we need to talk about this.”

Papyrus already had the faint idea of what Sans meant and felt relieved that it wasn’t something like he had initially thought. He didn’t know what would be of him and his poor soul if Sans just up and vanished again.

He gestured to his bedroom and Sans shrugged. He thought that maybe Papyrus would have liked to cook dinner first but he guesses that now was a good time as well.

He really wishes he would have put some clothes on already though. It was…distracting.

As they entered the bedroom, Sans sat down on Papyrus’ bed, feeling the comfy mattress dip softly. Papyrus decided to just stand in front of him, drying himself with the towel. Sans’ fingers curled tight around the soft covers.

“So…what is it??”

It was then that Sans shook any other thoughts and decided to begin.

“ever since all of…this…” He gestured to them both and Papyrus’ smile widened. “has started, we’ve…huh…we created a link between us. figuratively and literally.”

Papyrus tilted his head then, scrubbing the back of it with the towel.

“A link?”

Sans nodded, his sweating becoming a little more obvious as his grin twitched self consciously. His fingers played with the end of his shirt. He pondered well on it before he decided he would go through with this till the end and raised it enough to expose his ribcage and the now clearly lively blue of his soul. He allowed his magic to flow as well, his left eye glowing softly as he extended a hand to Papyrus, the tips of his fingers leaving faint trails of wispy energy.

“…yea. c’mere.”

Papyrus did so without hesitation, taking Sans’ hand and letting him lead it directly above his own sternum. He felt the steady pulses of it, strong and constant. Calm. And he recognized the faintest sound of the beats of his own soul within the other’s, quickly adjusting to the pace and harmonizing with it.

He couldn’t help but find it beautiful.

“i’m sure you’ve been feeling it too. it get stronger whenever we exchange energy. you know when we, huh, kiss and…”

Papyrus’ eyes crinkled at the corners, fingers tracing the softness and yet sturdiness of Sans’ sternum and he shivered, the close proximity with his soul enhancing the feeling. Papyrus stepped closer too, standing now in the space between his legs.

“Yes, I have!!” He answered happily. How could he have ever miss such a feeling of belonging after all? He had never felt so close to someone.

Sans’ grin widened a bit nervously then, knowing that he was about to approach what truly mattered.

“…i need to ask you if you really want this. it’s not a simple matter and it’s not something that can be easily undone. we’re creating a connection that goes beyond what we’re used to, paps.” Sans looked down then self consciously, his grip on Papyrus’ wrist tightening the tiniest bit, thumb trailing the ridges tenderly. “…we can still go back, if you don’t want this. it’s why i’m asking now.”

Sans chuckled, looking up at Papyrus’ surprised expression –he had the idea that they were indeed forming something special, he just never thought it was so serious already- gaze loving and trusting.

“i guess i just want to ask if you really want this. if you really want me.”

The way he said ‘me’ seemed to be exhausted. As if even Sans couldn’t fathom why would anyone want him, of all people. Yet he was still asking Papyrus if he would have him anyway.

Funny. There was something in his eye.

“Sans.” His chest glowed brighter now as he rested both his hands on the other’s cheeks, coercing him to look him in the eyes. Papyrus rested his forehead against the other, nudging it fondly.

“There’s no one else I would rather want to spend my life with. I love you. And I want to be with you.”

Sans’ grin widened just a little more, his always tired expression lightening up the tiniest of bits.

“you’re serious?”

Papyrus chuckled, nodding. His fingertips started leaving faint trails of orange as well.

“The Great Papyrus is always serious!!”

If he were anybody else, Sans would have jumped in joy. Instead, he settled for a rare genuine smile, flinging his arms around his significant other’s neck and pulling him into a skeleton kiss.

“stars…” He uttered, feeling himself fall on his back onto the bed. It creaked slightly as Papyrus settled onto it as well, towel falling carelessly on the floor and for once, he didn’t bother with that at all.

Sans held up a finger, detaching himself from the kiss as he hummed. He narrowed his eyes playfully.

“you’re absolutely, 100% sure about it? you do know that this is _me_ we’re talkin’ about here.”

Papyrus huffed but couldn’t help the small smile that always escaped him. Yes, he did know.

“Just shut up and kiss me, you bonehead.”

He would object no more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know they just need to seal the deal now. 8D *sips calmly on the skeletea*


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this took too long. Sorry about that. x.x I've become sick and that hindered me for a couple of days. Please enjoy the twentieth chapter! <3

The last rays of light shone down upon the two snuggling skeletons, the two forms encased into an embrace as their hands lingered and caressed casually. Papyrus was resting his head on Sans’ chest, his arm wrapped around his waist and hearing the steady pulse of the other’s soul, strong and constant. He closed his eyes at the sound, finding in himself the satisfaction of a job well done, in a way. He had done it.

He had his Sans back.

And he had him all to himself too. He knew that the moment Sans asked that so awaited question, there was no way he could have rejected him. It hasn’t been that long but it felt like he had been wanting this for years…wanting him like this, laying together, in such closeness of body and soul and feel their beings rejoice in the ever flowing song of existence. He wished he could be with Sans like this forever. He didn’t want to let go.

He nuzzled against the other’s chest, humming lowly at the gentle caresses to the back of his skull. The boney tips scraped tenderly at the spot where the back of his ‘ear’ would have been, if skeletons had any, and he tightened his hold the tiniest of bits. His leg moved slowly to place it on top of Sans’ femur, rubbing against it and lifting the hem of the older one’s shorts every time it rubbed upwards. He enjoyed the friction, feeling that all too familiar sensation warm up his naked bones and making his soul flare up the slightest. He felt the rumble of a low hum against his cheek and his smile brightened, knowing that Sans was starting to enjoy this just as much as him. Papyrus felt renewed, refreshed, relieved. He felt as if now they could truly be themselves around each other and explore their love to the fullest, with no more barriers of regret and denial. He will always be so curious in finding all the ways he could love Sans properly, all the ways that made him show every beautiful shade of blue he could muster, every change of pitch he could shift his voice in.

He wanted to find everything.

The hand that was resting peacefully on Sans’ hip moved slightly, tracing the delicate roundness of the hipbone and thumbing it on his way down, the waist band of the other’s shorts being tugged down with the movement and exposing the white of a side of his pelvic girdle. The sheets ruffled slightly as Sans moved, his hips shuddering at the tender affection. Papyrus’ motions started resembling those of a light massage, relaxing and soothing as he kept centering his ministrations on that zone; a zone that he was starting to like very much. Sans hummed once again, sighing shakily.

“feels good, love…”

Papyrus’ cheeks instantly heated up at the pet name, his soul skipping a beat at how incredibly good it sounded in Sans’ voice, directed at him. He lifted his head from the other’s chest and saw Sans grinning up at him lazily, half lidded gaze looking up at him like he meant the world and beyond.

“Like this?”He uttered, his thumb trailing down a bit more and tracing the edge of where Sans’ leg connected to the pelvis. He felt the other shudder once again, a bit more intensely this time and bucking slightly against his hand. Sans chuckled and took a deep breath through his nose hole, opting to just nod in earnest in response and laid his arm across his eyes, covering them as the barest sound of pleasure left him.

Papyrus sat up then, leaning back on his arm and smiled gently down at Sans. His gaze trailed down his covered ribcage, seeing the faint glow of his soul and was mesmerized –like always- by the water like reflections it emanated, even through the white shirt. He remembered the first time Sans let it manifest to him, how his power had sent the most delightful and intense sensations through his body and soul and how he started craving for more since then, absolutely captivated by the rush of pure energy enveloping his bones. He wanted to feel it again, wanted for Sans to expose himself so beautifully once more.

The hand that was still massaging the other’s hipbone started trailing upwards, following the path up the curvy spine –Golly, how he loved Sans’ curves, rough yet still maintaining a raw kind of elegance that couldn’t belong to anybody else- paying special attention to its ridges. Sans clenched his teeth, arching into his hand and his soul glowed brighter, its reflection powerful enough to cast a soft light on Papyrus’ face. The shirt lifted with his large hand as it left the spine and caressed a side of a ribcage, smaller but wider than his and he made sure to lavish all of his love into it too. His fingers stroked the smooth texture of it, trailing the arches of each rib and occasionally curling around them. The soft up and down motions of Sans’ breathing started getting heavier, the low deep rumbling of his tone voicing shaky small moans as his grin widened.

As his hand finally lifted the shirt away from the sternum, his gaze softened as it could finally lay upon the exposed glow, feeling its pleasant cold even from there. He lifted his other hand and rested it on the other side of the ribcage and trailed them up and down in slow, sensual movements. He leaned down then and gently, reverently started placing small skeleton kisses all over the small, thin bones. Sans shivered, his legs shifting to wrap one around Papyrus’ naked pelvis, pushing him gently and invitingly to the spot between his legs. Papyrus took it without hesitation, kissing down Sans’ sternum and shuddering at the close proximity with the pulsing soul right beneath it, its glow more alive than ever.

“hmm…paps…” He heard him utter as he placed yet another skeleton kiss on one of his ribs now. Sans let out a breathy little chuckle, squirming slightly at the almost bubbly light sensations his brother’s ministrations were giving him. He lowered a hand to the back of his skull, caressing it gently in return. The shirt was soon all bunched up underneath his chin as Papyrus kissed his way up, elegant and long fingers drawing trails of pleasant heat across the delicate bones. Sans’ cheeks tinted a pretty shade of blue as his lids fluttered, feeling the answering warmth of Papyrus’ soul on his spine, casting its glow on it and spreading all over his body.

“Will you let me feel you again, Sans?” Papyrus asked, having stopped with his sweet kisses to gaze fondly at the other’s flustered and worked up expression-always so readily willing, always so easy to please…- his smile soft and yet with a growing hunger that his curiosity kept encouraging. He could feel the stirrings of his own magic compelling him forward, trying to coerce Sans’ to join it in its dance but waited patiently for his answer.

Sans’ answer seemed instant, nonetheless, and Papyrus’ breath hitched as the blue glow increased vividly, as if enveloping Sans’ form in a halo of subdued power. Papyrus blinked, his mouth opening the slightest of bits as he straightened to admire it all. He could feel it teasing the tips of his fingertips where they laid on the other’s ribcage and he experimentally slid them forward in another caress. He jolted in surprise as energy crackled around his hand and Sans couldn’t contain a moan, grin wavering as his eyes almost closed to the feeling.

“…stars, paps…” He said, stretching his hands above his head and clenching the sheets in his fists. He let out an airy chuckle, tilting his head and fixed his gaze on Papyrus’ face, his blue tinted cheeks deepening against the soft fur of the hood of his hoodie jacket. “do you really want to…?”

The unspoken words lingered in the air and Papyrus’ gentle smile widened, his own curious and entranced gaze growing a spark of its own as his magic started to manifest itself.

Sans’ eyes widened as Papyrus mimicked him, his sockets forming pupils of his own as they glowed a wispy orange and his soul emanated a powerful warmth, spreading around his body and forming a matching halo. The mix of colors contrasted brightly against the quickly growing darkness outside, signaling nightfall and Sans couldn’t stop staring.

Never before had he imagined…

“Yes.” Papyrus answered, lowering himself once again and fearlessly started trailing his hands over Sans’ body once more, the sparks of energy prickling his fingers and sending the all too familiar sensations of pleasure through his bones. He could feel himself respond to it already and could feel Sans’ response as well, prodding him in his lower area.

“A thousand yes.” He finished, nuzzling Sans’ neck and placing small loving skeleton kisses on it as well. He would never get tired of saying ‘yes’ to Sans, he would say it for as many times it took. Their ribcages pressed together and Sans let out a louder moan, shuddering as he arched his hips and Papyrus closed his eyes, feeling the fully formed clothed hardness rubbing against his naked pelvis. He experimentally thrust his hips, grounding against the other’s arousal and Sans moaned again, a curse slipping from his mouth. 

“f-fuck…do that again…” He asked and Papyrus was more than willing to comply, stretching one of his hands to wrap it around Sans’, fingers intertwining above his head as he ground his hips once more, letting out a small moan of his own into the crook of the other’s neck. His cheeks tinted a deeper shade of orange as he shamelessly set a stuttering, slow pace, feeling the nice curve and thickness of Sans’ member scrape against his pelvis and wishing for less than the thin barrier of the fabric of his shorts. He could feel the other’s magic focusing on that area, compelling his own and as he stole a glance downwards, he groaned hungrily at the telltale blue tip peeking from the waistband of the shorts. This hunger was creating a different, momentary sort of emptiness deep inside him, something that made him want more and more of something that he was becoming increasingly familiar with.

Meanwhile, he could still also feel the pressure building up in their own energies, bursting and wanting to be released as well. Papyrus panted, opening his mouth and nipping down Sans’ neck, feeling it arch invitingly to give him more access. His soul flared and Sans’ pulsed in return.

“Let it out, Sans.” His tone was sure and laced with need, pitch curling the way he said his brother’s name and making it sound almost begging.

He had never felt so deprived of something than right now.

Sans let out a mix of a moan and a whine, nodding as he closed his eyes tight and for that moment their minds went blank. Power crackled around them and jolted their souls and Papyrus’ movements stuttered even more, his other hand trailing down and unceremoniously burying underneath Sans’ shorts, tugging them down in the process and wrapping around his member, his long warm fingers enveloping its coldness.

Sans groaned, bucking against his hand and moaning shakily as Papyrus started stroking with slow, tight jerks of his wrist. Sans kicked his shorts from his legs and wrapped them snuggly around Papyrus’ waist, pulling him ever closer. Papyrus moaned and raised his head from his neck, dipping down to place a passionate skeleton kiss on his mouth, feeling his arousal successfully forming his own member and…something else. He had felt it the first time he had…touched himself but hadn’t paid much attention to it in his eagerness. He had a pretty good notion of what it was for and the thought of them finally doing something so intimate and physical sent butterflies to his nonexistent stomach. He felt ready nonetheless and by the stars did he want Sans. He felt like he was aching, burning, craving every time his fingers stroked up and down, squeezing ever so often and massaging the conjured flesh, feeling it become increasingly wetter under his ministrations. Sans was panting and coming undone beneath him, squirming and barely able to keep his eyes open, his grin as wide as it could be and his soul pulsing rhythmically, like a drum.

**_*Thump thump. Thump thump.*_ **

“…hnn, p-paps…t-that feels so good…” He praised, his hips bucking even more to the increasing pace. Papyrus gulped, feeling the ache inside him deepen with his need and he placed another loving skeleton kiss on Sans’ mouth, the hand that was intertwined with the other’s squeezing gently.

“I want to make you feel good.” He confessed in between kisses, peppering Sans’ face with them. Sans chuckled breathlessly and released his free hand from the tight hold on the sheets, bringing it down to Papyrus’ face and caressing his cheek. He hummed, arching his spine and his brows scrunched as Papyrus started to sit up, coercing his legs to unwrap for his waist. Sans looked at him with a mix of curiosity and lust, seeing Papyrus settle himself to straddle his hips and lean back, releasing Sans’ hand and setting them both behind him. He looked down at their joined members and shuffled a little bit more backwards, his legs shaking slightly as he spread them.

Sans’ eyes widened, a surge of arousal making him groan as Papyrus exposed his conjured entrance so close to his dick. Papyrus himself seemed unsure about it but his hand showed no hesitation as he lowered it towards it, passing by his orange member and brushing teasingly against it before he looked Sans in the eyes and slipped a single long finger in, gasping at the weird, tingling feeling.

“p-paps, holy f-ffuck…” He couldn’t believe what he was seeing as Papyrus whined, his lids fluttering as he threw his head back, slipping his finger further inside. He wasn’t meeting much resistance, feeling relaxed and earnest in exploring this new sexual manifestation and wanting to know all the ways he could use it. Would Sans have one too? He didn’t doubt it.

His naturally born curiosity led him to imagine all the fun they will have exploring each other and it coerced him into slipping a second finger inside, pumping them in an out systematically now and he smiled carefree.

“H-Hmmm, S-Sans…th-this f-feels…”

Sans was still in a state of shock, dancing between the beginnings of disbelief and incredible lust. He felt his member twitch and the tint of his cheeks darkened in slight embarrassment. He sat up a bit, his bunched up shirt falling slightly and his blue jacket slipping down his shoulders as he watched Papyrus’ focused expression to then trail his gaze down to where he was pumping his fingers, clenching his teeth at the almost suffocating _want_.

Watching Papyrus play with himself like that, in his lap, so near his own aching arousal was making it really _hard_ –hehe- for Sans to control himself anymore and he choked on his own magic as Papyrus let out another whine, this one sounding slightly frustrated, and tried to slip in a third finger.

Sans reached out immediately to still his hand and Papyrus made a sound of confusion, opening his eyes.

“Sans, w-what…?”

Sans sat up a bit more and gently coerced Papyrus to remove his fingers. Papyrus was starting to think he had something wrong again.

“take it easy, love.” Sans said gently, placing his own hand against Papyrus’ entrance and stroking a finger against it in a circular motion.

“like this…” He purred, his grin widening and wavering as he slipped his own stubbier finger inside, groaning instantly at the wet, tight warmth. His member was practically throbbing, wanting to bury it in that warmth more than ever and Papyrus mewled as he started pumping his finger, setting a steady pace that was clearly more practiced than Papyrus’ clumsy previous one.

“Hmm~S-Sans…!! T-That…! Awnn…!” His head lolled to the side, his hips rolling against Sans’ hand and his own hard member bobbed slightly with the movement, making Sans lick his teeth hungrily. Stars, Papyrus sure knew how to be erotic, even if he was doing it unconsciously, only reacting from pleasure and need. He could have Sans on his knees if he so wanted and wouldn’t even need to make an effort to do so.

After a few more pumps, Sans slipped a second finger, caressing the conjured walls of Papyrus’ entrance and stroking against something that made the other still, a violent shudder running through his whole body as he desperately and suddenly started grounding harshly on Sans’ hand, moaning loudly.

“W-Wowie, S-S-Sans that felt so g-good!! More, m-more!!! Please…!”

Sans groaned, nodding and tried to find that spot again, prodding it and pumping his fingers at a faster pace, the wet sounds of the motions heightening their arousals. Papyrus almost made a squealing kind of sound as he obviously found it and started pressing against it every time he pumped his fingers in. Papyrus was practically turned into shivering mush as he kept grinding his hips enthusiastically, raising and dropping them in time with Sans’ pumping while also brushing against the other’s weeping member behind him.

“s-stars, papyrus…” He groaned, just waiting for the right moment. His gaze was nearly begging though and Papyrus surely noticed, wanting to satisfy his own still growing need as well. He gently gripped Sans’ hand, removing the fingers from inside him and whined at the loss, feeling frustratingly empty. No more hesitation, no more backing away.

He took hold of Sans member and positioned himself above it. Sans bucked his hips, not believing this was happening and a fraction of his mind thought this was still just one of his fantasies, being too vivid for his own good. Maybe he had fallen asleep in Papyrus’ arms after all, after he had said yes to his proposal.

His lids fluttered as he felt the tip of his cock prodding Papyrus’ entrance, breaching it and Sans felt a slight panicked sensation of doubt. He had never done this before and Papyrus surely didn’t as well and he didn’t want him to get hurt in his excitement. His mind was currently so very foggy though, his words of warning and impulses to stop him forgotten as Papyrus started lowering himself.

His hands flew to Papyrus’ waist, gripping them tightly in case he would have to still him. As Papyrus took inch by inch, they both moaned at the mix of temperatures and the incredibly intense exchange of energy. It spurred Papyrus on to take the few remaining inches and soon he had Sans’ member buried to the hilt, thick and throbbing deep inside him. Papyrus whined, it didn’t hurt but it was such a foreign sensation. The weak tingles he could feel already provided him with pleasurable sensations and he knew there was much more to it. Their souls were glowing brighter than ever now that they were so physically joined and Papyrus felt almost proud of it.

As they both adjusted themselves, Papyrus grinded experimentally and Sans’ hold on his waist tightened.

“s-stars, i can’t take it anymore.”

That was Papyrus’ only warning before Sans started moving his hips, thrusting in and out in a harsh, slow pace while the hands at his waist ground him down on his cock. Papyrus yelped in surprise, his legs practically trembling as he moaned loudly. He felt so amazing, so full.

“Y-You’re s-so…mhnmmm~~a-ah!” He threw his head back as Sans kept thrusting, his motions becoming less clumsy and more steady, sweat beading on the back of his skull. Papyrus decided to participate too, in his own stuttering movements, and groaned as he gently shoved Sans back down to lay on the bed, grinding his hips before placing his hands behind him once more and using it as leverage to start bouncing on the cock, setting a quickly growing pace that had Sans clenching his teeth and moaning louder, clenching the sheets again and enjoying the show.

“S-So g-good, so f-full…nghnn~” He moaned, practically blabbering as his pace continued increasing, soon becoming mercilessly fast and energetic as he craved more and more. His own member bobbed, straining and wet with pre-ejaculation. He lifted a hand and brought it down to wrap around it as he started to stroke it in time with his bouncing. His moans increased in volume to the point that they were more hushed screams, not knowing where even to start. His lower half felt like it was on fire and it wouldn’t stop building that heat up, coiling in his soul and yet still unrelenting. Just accumulating pleasure with every thrust, every stroke, every desperate moan and groan and growl he could catch from Sans.

He just felt so good.

He yelped, his eyes opening as Sans removed himself all of a sudden and in a swift movement reversed their positions. The sounds of their pants resounded across the silent dark room but the glow of their souls was enough to light up the zone around them. Papyrus let out a shaky moan, missing having Sans inside him and bucked his hips pleadingly.

“W-Why did you stop…?”

As his hazy vision focused, his breath hitched as he saw Sans look at him with the most intense expression he has ever seen, his left eye glowing a bright blue and his whole being practically pulsing with magic. He brought a hand to Papyrus’ cheek, caressing it tenderly, while positioning himself back at his entrance, taking hold of his member with his other hand and rubbing the tip teasingly against it. Their breathing was heavy and eager and Papyrus’ lids fluttered as Sans lowered his forehead to his, the blue wispy crackles of energy enveloping his left eye mesmerizing.

“i want to be able to look at you like this…”

Never mind the fact that he just always wanted to be able to hold Papyrus close while they made love.

Papyrus’ cheeks tinted impossibly deeper, nodding in understanding before wrapping his long arms around Sans, his hands clenching on the back of the blue hoodie jacket as he felt Sans reenter him, his cock slipping effortlessly inside his wet entrance. He hummed, letting his head drop on the pillow and just watched as Sans started to move, groaning and letting out soft curses in the voice he so adored. It was a wonder that Sans was finally making a willing effort to do something and that his motivation was their pleasure, to make Papyrus feel good, to participate in their intimacy… it just made Papyrus’ admiration for him grow. He was still a lazybones but he sure was a dedicated and passionate lover.

He wrapped his legs around the other’s waist, just like Sans had done to him so many times already and pulled him closer, burying him deeper and they both moaned. The bed started creaking, the sounds of it in time with Sans’ thrusts and his hand clenched around the sheets.

“…n-nghnn…! y-you feel so good, love…”

Pleasure instigated tears started gathering in the corners of Papyrus’ eyes as Sans’ pace started getting faster and harsher, their bodies grinding together. His member was being squeezed in between and rubbed just right with Sans’ movements and it was becoming increasingly difficult to remain coherent. The heat was still building up and it wouldn’t stop. He became so far gone that he could only call out Sans’ name, fingers dragging and clenching down his back, holding on tightly to him.

“…S-Sans!! Ahnn~ Y-Yeees…!” He never wanted for it to stop. He wanted for them to keep going, to just never end this but he felt the familiar tingling of release nearing already and it only worsened as Sans wrapped a hand around his member, his strokes matching his now harsh, fast, almost desperate pace.

“sh…shit…p-paps, i’m…!”

They clinged to each other, bodies rocking in sync. Sans raised his head from its lolling state, his hand scrambling to hold Papyrus’ cheek and shakily caress it, uncontrollable energy cracking around them.

“f-fuck, p-paps…!” He moaned, lowering his mouth to Papyrus’ and peppering it with sweet little skeleton kisses, kisses that Papyrus tried his best to return. “i. love. you. so. much.” He said with each kiss and Papyrus couldn’t help but smile; his eyes were enough to convey the same feelings.

“A-Aah! S-Saaaans…!!”

It only took a few more desperate thrusts and strokes before Papyrus couldn’t take it anymore. The heat that kept coiling and coiling finally burst and he reached his orgasm, releasing in Sans’ hand and arching his spine, clenching his eyes shut. He had never felt so good, in fact, it felt amazing! His whole body was tingling and sending wave after wave of pleasure through his bones and soul, making his hips buck and shudder, his legs trembling as Sans kept his now stuttering pace. He heard Sans groan loudly, his voice laced with a resounding tired growl as he reached his own end, not being able to handle the way Papyrus’ walls quivered around his member, milking him as he stilled, releasing inside. Papyrus shivered at the sensation and whined, hips still restless until Sans grabbed them pleadingly, tugging him closer.

They fell limp against each other, panting heavily and loudly, trembling in the afterglow. Their magic all but vanished as Sans pulled out and it only left their over sensitized bodies as evidence. Rolling over so not to lay on top of Papyrus, Sans chuckled breathlessly and flung an arm across his eyes, his grin impossibly wide and cheeks still tinted a deep blue.

“did we just…?”

Papyrus only turned on his side, wrapping his arms around Sans and pulling him close. Their souls were now in perfect harmony, the beats and pulses dancing and overlapping each other.

“Wowie…” He sighed in response, nuzzling against Sans’ sternum.

Wowie indeed.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, they woke to each other’s hazy gazes, smiling gently and lovingly. They shared their first morning after skeleton kiss, sweet and lingering and their teasing caresses left promises of more. Sans was in cloud nine, not believing how truly fortunate he was to have Papyrus by his side and how lucky he was that Papyrus wanted him to be by his in return.

“Good morning, Sans.”

He closed his eyes and his grin softened.

“’morning, paps.”

This was where he belonged.

And after that it was all a blur as Papyrus sat up from bed, stretching beautifully in front of him and sheets sliding down his naked body. Sans didn’t avert his eyes anymore, instead opting to stare blatantly and all that he wanted. He couldn’t feel shame anymore for indulging in such simple pleasures. He will always admire beauty where there is to be seen and right now he didn’t think there was anything more beautiful than a ravaged Papyrus being bathed in the first rays of daylight.

He sat up to tell him just that, kneeling behind him and trailing his hands up his spine and ribcage.

“S-SANS!!! W-WE HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW, WE NEED TO GET READY!!”

He still couldn’t resist letting out a small moan of appreciation, his hand reaching back to caress Sans’ cheek.

“aww. and here i thought i was giving you a _boner._ ”

The hand on his cheek stilled as well as Papyrus’ whole being. Sans buried his face on his brother’s back and started trembling from his inner laughing.

“UN-BE-LIEVABLE!!!!”

Sans couldn’t hold it anymore and burst out laughing. Papyrus raised his hands in outrage and got up from bed, leaving Sans to fall limply face down on the sheets. Sans stretched his hand, his other arm wrapping around his ribcage as he kept laughing.

“w-wait, paps… hahahaha!… _come_ back…oh man!”

Papyrus was finishing putting on his boots as he then stomped his way down the stairs, leaving Sans to continue laughing at his own bad jokes.

 

* * *

 

“YOU KNOW, SANS…I WAS APPROACHED BY A FLOWER THE OTHER DAY!”

 

* * *

 

He was returning from Grillby’s to go back to his post –one of his mandatory breaks, of course- when he felt it again.

The feeling of being watched.

His grin widened as he kept walking nonetheless, his relaxed expression betraying none of his hidden feelings of unease. The stuttering of the snowflakes around him seemed to be worsening and the wind didn’t feel quite right. It had a chill to it that was more than something natural, as if it had been induced by a large amount of concentrated energy; by something terribly powerful.

He heard the sound of the snow crunch beneath his footsteps before he caught the sound of a third crunch, lower and obviously coming from something smaller.

“Howdy!”

He stopped and turned, raising a brow at the yellow flower smiling widely at him. Too widely.

“How’s it going?”

Its features slowly morphed into something far less friendly.

**“…sMiLEy TrAshBag.”**

Sans’ grin didn’t waver as he kept his relaxed stance. So this was the flower his brother had told him about? Didn’t seem to be as kind to him.

“hey, lil’ _bud_. i don’t think we’ve met.”

Flowey regained its usual cheerful face, bouncing on its stalk as its petals waved with the movements.

“Oh, we have. Playing stupid, are you?”

 _…Playing stupid, are you?_ At that moment, images of the same flower flashed through his mind, its face being deformed and crazed looking. Blood hungry. Cackling maniacally.

“really? how could i forget?” His grin widened, shuffling closer to the flower.

Flowey snickered, its eyes flashing a red delighted glint.

“You forget many things it seems. And yet…you also don’t.”

Sans halted then, raising a confused brow. Flowey raised itself, its stalk lengthening as if growing.

Sans suddenly felt uneasy.

“You know what’s going on, don’t you? And you can feel it too. Something’s happening.”

Sans gradually narrowed his eyes, his usual carefree expression hardening as his hands tightened inside his pockets. This flower was aware of resets?

And it seems he really was right. He wasn’t the only one to notice these sudden changes.

“go on.”

Flowey’s smile widened impossibly, leaning forward as if to tell a secret.

“There’s another anomaly, you idiot.”

Sans’ eyes widened the slightest of fractions, his breath hitching as Flowey continued with a smug and very satisfied expression.

“And they both collide every time there’s a reset. It’s been too many to count now but it seems…this might be the last.”

There was a heavy silence that stretched after that and Sans was vividly aware of the words that had been spoken yet they also sounded like a buzz in the back of his mind, replaying over and over.

_The last._

The last? What did that even mean? And how could this flower be so sure about it?

As so, he gave it a skeptical look, chuckling.

“it doesn’t make any logical sense.”

Flowey stretched one of its ‘hand-leaves’ and let a snowflake fall and rest on it. As the snowflake stuttered, so did the leaf, following it in a glitch like motion.

“It’s falling apart. This concentrated energy is work of the anomalies in constant conflict with each other. Soon it will burst and only one may remain. And by that time, the anomaly will be no more either way. It.Will.Stop.”

It said the last sentence slowly, as if talking to a child. Its face was starting to deform once again. Sans was starting to think that it was beyond the flower’s control.

“Get it now, smiley trashbag? I’ve had this power, I know how it feels like to have it slipping away.”

If this was true…it really meant that it will stop. Sans was still skeptical about it but the flower was making a good argument and laying on information that he had been ignorant to until now. He had thought there was just only one anomaly, one flaw in the universal timeline that kept resetting and starting over and over. Too many times to count…

And if only one could remain, this was the real timeline then, the one that will truly matter, the one that will truly stick. Its fate, its outcome was dependent on mere luck, like a toss of a coin.

Heads: They all live.

Tails: They all die.

“that’s...”

“You’ve been having _fun_ , haven’t you?” Flowey inquired, tone laced with venom and mockery. “Been quite distracted from the real thing, have you?”

Sans’ stare became increasingly harder, not liking the tone nor the inquiry. This flower knew too much and he already knew what it was insinuating.

“that’s none of your business, pal.”

Flowey had the gal to slither closer, looking up at him with a sadistic kind of satisfaction.

“You both are so disgustingly sweet, it makes me barf. Tell me, how does it feel to know you’re still absolutely useless?”

It smirked, looking up at the ‘sky’ nonchalantly.

“Even after all of this, you still won’t be able to protect him.”

Sans let a hand slip out from his pocket, knuckles popping and cracking as he curled it in a fist at his side. Flowey noticed, its gaze becoming even more crazed.

**“I wOnDeR wHAt wIll bEcOme oF hIm tHiS tImE.”**

The flower was forced to retreat back into the ground as a loud blast hit the spot it was standing on, leaving a relatively large scorch mark on the quickly melting snow.

Sans’ eye glowed and blinked from blue to yellow.

He couldn’t afford not to care anymore.

He swore right where he stood:

If he caught the slightest whiff of dust on that blasted kid…

**T h e y  w i l l  b e  d e a d  w h e r e  t h e y  s t a n d.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so self indulgent. Again, not so sure of the naughty bits but I hope you all enjoyed it! (●´ω｀●)
> 
> And oooh, we finally know what's going on. ( ಠ◡ಠ )
> 
> *whispers* Also I know I'm taking HUGE liberties with cannon but it's for the sake of the plot. Roll with it. Please. 8D


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This took so long and I'm SO sorry for that!! I've been keeping everyone who follows my tumblr updated but basically I got a job and that has been keeping me busy. Either way, I'm so n-nervous about this chapter. It's so important and I'm very fond of it.
> 
> Next will be the epilogue! Please enjoy the twentieth-one chapter! <3

It’s…so hard to be selfless…

But when you’re not even in control of your own fate anymore, what else do you have? There’s no possibility of being selfish, even if you wanted to. All that there is, all that is left, are the choices you’ll still have to make but that won’t influence your ultimate end in any way.

Sans has tried to avoid thinking about it for such a long time…yet it was always there that his thoughts wandered off to. He had seen futility itself dragging him further and further down into the darkness, swallowing him whole and muffling his weak pleas. He had laid on that bare mattress for so many days and nights, just staring at the ceiling or facing the blank wall, pupil less eyes showing the void that he had so carelessly thrown himself into. He had been…so lifeless. 

It had been such a meaningless existence.

Papyrus had shown him there was so much more to it than laying down and wallowing in self pity; to keep drowning and suffocating in eternal inner conflict, never to find peace within himself.

Papyrus had shown him how to accept it, in a way.

Sans had just needed that one strong pillar, that one source of strength and support to stand up and keep going. No matter how many times everything repeated itself, Papyrus was always a constant in his life. When everything turned white and all sound left the world for a split second, Sans would open his eyes tiredly and defeated to then smile sheepishly at the taller skeleton kneeling beside his mattress, leaning over him and shaking him awake with his usual nagging but loving tone.

_“COME ON, LAZYBONES!!! GET UP, IT’S TIME FOR OUR MORNING PATROL!!!!”_

 He wishes he could replay that one moment over and over. He wishes he could live in that one moment of blissful relief; that it wasn’t over yet. That Papyrus was still very much there, with him, safe and sound.

That the bloodcurling sound of something sharp and final had never took his one and only constant away from him.

Sometimes he would think about stopping Papyrus from going out that day.

He had done it once. He hazily remembered advising Papyrus against going out and confronting the murdering human, almost _begging_ him not to. He had been so close to breaking that one time, he knew… he had been so close to just fall into insanity and spill everything out, to laugh humorlessly and almost maniacally at how their lives were being played in a loop. Over and over and _over_ again.

Just like a game.

Papyrus hadn’t understood him, of course. And he never would.

Sans would make sure he never did.

He never quite knew where Papyrus stood in all of this, really. Sometimes he could almost think that his younger brother actually remembered a few small fragments of past timelines. Papyrus would mention events that technically hadn’t happened yet, sounding confused and hesitant, his expression one of somebody who didn’t quite know what they were talking about. And when Sans would try to laugh it away, desperately trying to make him brush it off, Papyrus would do so with a trembling smile, ‘nyeh’ing’ his way to the kitchen, waving his hand dismissively.

_“NEVERMIND IT, SANS!! I MUST BE IMAGINING THINGS, AS I HAVE THE GREATEST OF IMAGINATIONS, OF COURSE!!!! NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT SPAGHETTI…”_

Sans didn’t want him to be worrying about anything.

Especially about fragmented past lives and rampant occasional murdering human children.

Actually, that was something nobody should have to worry about.

But if he could spare Papyrus from it, he would do his best to keep waking up and standing up from his mattress so he could keep making him happy in any way he could.

It was all that Sans had to look forward to these days. Papyrus’ happiness.

His first ever thought as he would wake up through every reset would be:

_“hmm…what can i do for paps today?”_

And there he would go, with his wide and unchanging grin, making terrible jokes that managed to draw a few wider smiles from Papyrus somehow, now and then. Selling his hot dogs and hot cats, paying their bills, find something hero related to give to Papyrus later, hang out at Grillby’s for a few hours and hurry back home in the evening to have dinner with Papyrus and read him his bedtime story.

* * *

 

Sans didn’t know how long he just stood there, staring at the charred spot of still melting snow. A hole had formed there already and it kept digging further deeper as it kept melting. That _flower_ was probably miles away already but despite his _determined_ resolve and the promise he had just made, he still stood there. Motionless. Thoughts were running wildly in his mind. All those memories…

Lost.

Found.

Remade.

Papyrus smiling. Nagging him. Pulling him from bed and coercing him to come with him, to spend some time with him.

…Papyrus’ dejected expression when he started saying no, clinging to the mattress until his younger brother was practically dragging him across the floor. And then when Papyrus stopped trying to pull him out of there altogether and choosing to just stand meekly behind Sans’ bedroom door, calling out for him to have breakfast at least.

Why…had he even stopped making Papyrus happy?

Why had he become so deeply numb that he had been so clueless to Papyrus’ growing misery and loneliness too?

Now that he could feel and hear his own soul back, it was easy to look back at those memories with a certain kind of self disgust, of shame. He wanted to forget but he knew he shouldn’t. He needed to remember…

He couldn’t forget Papyrus. It was all that he had left.

He slightly moved his still crunched up fist and slowly released the tension in his hand, raising it to his waist level and looking down at the worn, magic scarred palm. Fingers spreading, his pupil less eyes seemed to stare beyond it as his grin wavered.

He…

He didn’t know what to do.

He was…he was so _scared_.

For the first time, he had no idea what to do or what was happening. There was no secret emergency time device he could suddenly come up with and there was no miraculous magical mathematical formula to make everything right again either. Even now he could feel the energy that flower had told him about. It felt so heavy and malicious, pressing down on his very existence like a looming shadow. As if laughing at him and his uselessness. He noticed his hand was trembling slightly, fingers making the lowest of clacking sounds as the bones brushed together. His grin widened disbelievingly, shoulders slumping as he sighed silently and let his head fall back as he looked up at the dark _dark_ rocky ‘sky’ of the Underground, currently sprinkled with white as it started ‘snowing’ softly.

 _‘please…’_ He begged to the stars and whatever deity there was. Perhaps even to that energy that was causing him so much grief.

_‘…not yet. please…let me be happy for just a while longer…’_

He was so tired.

He didn’t want to do this. He wasn’t ready anymore. He just wanted to go back home and to Papyrus’ waiting arms welcoming him back, and his smiles and his warmth…he just wanted to settle in his racecar bed and read him Fluffy Bunny until both of them were snoring into a deep and peaceful sleep.

He just wanted to sleep it all away, lulled by Papyrus’ steady beats that would compose songs of warmth to him and him alone.

“stars…what do i do…” He muttered, closing his eyes slowly in time with the reforming of his pupils, lids hiding them. He had nowhere to go, nobody to talk to. Just him and his rampant thoughts. He could feel a familiar constricting around his soul as his doubt kept growing.

He pondered doing nothing, like always.

But he quickly brushed that off, denying himself that choice. It _wasn’t a choice_ anymore.

He was going to have to stand up for his own fate, even if it never was in his control. He still had to try.

If not for himself, for Papyrus.

With that settled, he felt a bit lighter as he decided to stick to the promise he had just made so recklessly but surely. Although he really wasn’t someone to make promises, he was also someone with still a little bit of honor left and would go through with it, even if he had just made it to himself.

Looking back at the wide, white horizon that stretched beyond, he started shuffling his way home. The rays of daylight were starting to dim and Papyrus gets cranky without his bedtime story.

The last bedtime story.

 

* * *

 

When he arrived home, he was greeted by the usual warmth that he was thankful for and the aroma of spices and spaghetti. There was the soft sound of boiling water as he neared the kitchen and his grin softened naturally, looking at the back of a cheerful Papyrus, cooking with his usual wooden spoon in hand.

“hey, paps. ‘m home.”

Papyrus jumped slightly, spinning around and his ‘Cooking Dude’ light pink apron fluttered with the abrupt movement before he smiled brightly at Sans, leaning down to scoop him into a big, welcoming hug.

Sans closed his eyes, humming contently as he returned the embrace, hands clinging to his love desperately.

He didn’t want to let go.

“WELCOME HOME, SANS!!” Papyrus said, like usual, raising his head from its nest on the crook of Sans’ neck and nuzzling his cheek. Sans hummed once again, a small low chuckle escaping him as he nuzzled back. He made a surprised noise as Papyrus squeezed him and his shorter legs started dangling as the hug lifted him slightly and it gave him yet another excuse to keep clinging.

“YOU’RE JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER!! THE SPAGHETTI IS ALMOST READY, NYEH!!!”

“heh…sounds great, bro.” Sans said, snuggling further into the other, taking in his wonderful and unchanging scent. The scent of a loved one, the scent of the most important person in the whole universe to him.

He wouldn’t _forget it_.

When Papyrus made a move to let go, Sans almost panicked, stubby fingers clinging and holding on in denial, finding good grip in the other’s red scarf. Papyrus blinked, his arms lowering to support Sans’ bottom and hoisted him up as his legs wrapped around his waist when he threatened to slip and fall.

Papyrus was all for affectionate hugs and holding but he still had the spaghetti boiling in the pot that he needed to watch over and…was Sans _trembling_?

Looking down at the way Sans was burrowing his face into his chest, as if hiding from something, Papyrus couldn’t help but feel as if Sans was actually, dare he say…scared.

“…Sans…?” Papyrus inquired unsurely, his hold on the other tightening subconsciously as Sans squeezed back. Sans made a slight sound of acknowledgement.

“…Is everything alright?” Papyrus asked, brows furrowing when Sans only sighed, nodding his head. His tight grip said otherwise as his words came out muffled.

“yea…i just…just stay with me a little longer. i missed you today…”

Papyrus’ smile widened fondly, feeling that warmth bubble up happily within his soul as he nuzzled the top of Sans’ skull, placing a skeleton kiss on it.

“Lazybones…it was only a couple of hours!! We’ve been on this routine for years!!!”

Sans shrugged nonchalantly, his grin wavering tiredly. A weird kind of silence stretched between them for a few seconds before Papyrus let out a soft ‘nyeh’, raising Sans a little in his hold so he could place another skeleton kiss on his cheek this time.

“I missed you too, Sans.” Papyrus admitted, his own cheeks feeling warm and dusted a slight tone of orange. He always did but that was something that he never quite liked admitting. Mostly because he didn’t want to seem clingy. But he did miss Sans thorough the day, when their patrols wouldn’t intertwine. He would miss his voice, his calming and relaxed aura, his familiar and comforting scent…even his atrocious jokes.

Suddenly feeling aware of really just how much he had missed him, Papyrus held him closer, cradling him like the most precious person that he truly was to him. Their souls harmonized peacefully, basking in the now complete connection. He noticed that Sans’ seemed slightly distressed. The pulses were not erratic but were still a bit faster than normal, stuttering and anxious.

“Do you want me to carry you to your bedroom?? I can bring you dinner there. Just this once though!!!” Papyrus sighed, gaze understanding when Sans only nodded and started going up the stairs. He wasn’t one to encourage laziness but something seemed off with Sans tonight. It was dreadfully familiar, similar to the times of old and he would do everything to not let that happen. He needed Sans. And Sans needed him.

His brother wouldn’t fall ever again. He will make sure to always be there to help him up.

As he opened the door to Sans’ bedroom, he was hit by the fresh evening breeze coming from the open window. His bones rattled slightly in a pleasant shiver and Sans chuckled good naturedly. He carefully kneeled by the mattress, long legs bending, and placed Sans on it, who let go of him reluctantly.

Papyrus gave him a soft smile, both of their figures draped in the soft darkness of the night and the cold magic fabricated moonlight highlighting their features. Papyrus’ elegant hands reached for the lapels of Sans’ hoodie jacket, pulling questioningly on it.

Understanding his intentions, Sans moved his shoulders in a shrugging motion, shimmying the jacket off from them and Papyrus helped him slip the rest off from his arms. He stood up then, patting some remaining snow from the jacket and a few stray ketchup packets fell from one of the pockets. Papyrus raised a brow at Sans, shaking his head.

“was looking for those.” Sans said, stretching his hand and Papyrus gave the packets to him wordlessly, going to place the jacket on the top of Sans’ dresser, neatly folded. Still, it was definitely in need of washing already, with a few ketchup stains on the collar and hem. As he turned around, he saw Sans sipping absent mindedly on one of the ketchup packets, his expression still looking especially tired and thoughtful.

Fumbling with his gloved hands, Papyrus asked once again, tone worried. Sans could never fool him.

“Sans…is everything really alright??”

Sans seemed to snap out of whatever musing he had been stuck on, looking up at Papyrus dazedly. He briefly glanced at the floor back again and replied, his voice sounding raspy.

“yea, paps. really. i’m just…tired.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie.

He knew that he was probably hurting Papyrus’ feelings by insisting on not telling anything while being so obvious that something wasn’t right. Sure enough, Papyrus’ expression deflated, his smile wavering as his hands fell to his sides helplessly. Looking around for a moment, as if lost, Papyrus then tried to keep his cheerful disposition.

“WELL I’LL BRING YOU MY EXCELLENT SPAGHETTI SOON THEN!! DON’T FALL ASLEEP JUST YET!!! “ Papyrus said, walking over to him and leaning down, caressing his face. Sans leaned into his touch, raising a hand to meet the other’s and their fingers intertwined.

“You shouldn’t be on an empty stomach.” His words were soft and almost a mutter. So familiar and unconditionally loving that Sans almost broke then. It took him back to the beginning, when both of them were so painfully distant. He didn’t want that to ever happen again.

But it also made him wonder…if this was maybe the last time…the last night…what would become of them both? Was this all for nothing? Did fate finally allow them to discover each other only to take it all away from them in the end?

Sans let his hand drop. It fell limply on the mattress, making a dull thud and Papyrus’ brow furrowed further. Turning away, he started walking, figuring that maybe Sans just needed some space. He didn’t like leaving him alone but if it  was what he wanted, he would respect it.

“I’ll be right back with the food.” Papyrus said and the door shut quietly with a click. Sans was left to stare at it, eyes going slowly pupil less as his soul started to glow intensely. The room started to feel colder and colder and the walls crawled with wispy tendrils of magic.

This was the end.

It was over.

Whatever happened from now on, it wasn’t in his control anymore.

It made him feel…so empty.

Was it worth it? To go through all of this? All those resets, all those memories, all those emotions.

_‘papyrus…what makes you do it? what gives you the strength to keep going?’_

If it’ll all end with the snap of a higher power’s fingers…did it all truly matter?

What makes lying motionless in a mattress, staring at the nothingness or going outside any different? Did his meaningless conversations, his silly jokes, his lame pranks have any relevance at all?

No, of course not.

It didn’t change anything.

Why couldn’t he feel angry? He should be.

Everything was being taken away from him. And he was just going to have to accept it. He couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t postpone it either. It never worked.

His fingers grasped at the ends of his white worn shirt, still trembling. They crackled with barely restrained energy. His head ached, the magic swirling around heavily in his mind and making it hazy with his erratic but still strangely calm thoughts. This was much different than when he was letting himself be consumed by darkness. Inside he felt such a bright light, pulsing and panicked.

He wanted to live.

The trembling of his hands became more noticeable.

He didn’t want to die. He wanted to live. He wanted to live for Papyrus. He wanted them both to be able to finally be happy together. He wanted them both living peacefully, perhaps in the Surface even, one day. Who knows. He would work all the jobs he had to, just like he did here, and they would get somewhere cozy to live. Papyrus would probably want to pursue culinary. They would sleep in the same bed and he would still read him bedtime stories. He could make him cheesy romantic surprises now and then. And they would share every night together, in each other’s arms, safe and sound.

Alive.

 Now that his thoughts run freely, he realized that he still had dreams after all. That he still wanted something in life. He didn’t want everything they both worked for to just be _erased_.

He wanted to be _saved_.

His soul glowed brightly now, lighting up the whole room in a soft and pleasantly cold blue. It made a show of shadows emitted from the few furniture and the many objects he had scattered around. He let his body fall sideways and a few scattered notes crumpled and made soft paper sounds as they flew from the slight impact. His gaze was drawn to the nearest one filled with otherwise nonsensical scribbles, a foreign language to many others. It was one of his early notes, he knew. When he still had something that motivated him, something that kept him going. Something that he believed in.

He felt abandoned and lost. His only comfort were his newfound dreams. He found it ironic how he was indulging in happy fantasy just now, when everything was falling apart. But he didn’t have anything else.

He closed his eyes and started picturing the Surface, building the images and scenery from all the references he got from the books he had read of it over the years. He pictured a star littered night sky and the coldness of the real moonlight. He tried to imagine Papyrus standing with him in some secluded place, admiring its beauty. He wanted to show it to Papyrus some day. He wanted to tell him all about the stars and the vast infinity that lay beyond what they could see. He wanted to point at real constellations and name them all to Papyrus. He wanted to bring his telescope with him and finally use it properly, for its real purpose. He wanted to write a journal about it and he wanted to study science again.

He wanted to enjoy his first sunrise with Papyrus. Maybe he would make it one of those cheesy romantic surprises he had thought about earlier. He knew Papyrus was such a sucker for those kind of things, despite being a little bashful about it. He knew it would definitely make him happy.

He wanted to enjoy a day off at home, snuggled in blankets while it rained outside. He wanted to read to Papyrus on such days and he wanted to stay all of those days in bed with him too, just lazing around and watching TV.

He wanted to fulfill all of Papyrus’ dreams. He would buy him that car he wanted so much and they would ride it down a highway and feel the wind on their ‘hair’ (hehe) and the warm afternoon sun on their bones.

He wanted so many things…

His grin was soft and distant as he curled further within himself. It was like this that Papyrus found him as he gave a soft knock on the door and let himself in with two steaming plates of spaghetti in his hands.

“I’M BACK, SANS!! I THOUGHT I SHOULD EAT WITH YOU HERE TOO, JUST THIS ONCE AND-!!SANS???!”

Expression being one of surprise, Papyrus hurried to place the plates on the top of the dresser in the corner before he looked around the room at the same time he made his way towards Sans. Kneeling down, he placed a careful hand on his shoulder and shook him worriedly, not used to such a vivid display of magic coming from his older brother.

Last time he had seen something similar he had been…

With a determined face, he decided to sit in the mattress and pull Sans’ huddled form into his arms to then lay down with him, holding him close. He placed a decisive skeleton kiss on his forehead and Sans made a sound of surprise, not expecting this.

“I’ll stay with you. No matter what, I’m not going anywhere.” He promised, peppering sweet little kisses on that chubby looking skeleton face. Sans blinked, making a slight half groaning, half humming noise as he choked out a small chuckle, one eye closing as Papyrus nuzzled his cheek. Those words reverberated inside his mind and filled his soul with hope and love as he returned the embrace and soon he had another glow responding to his, bright and orange. Full of life.

For now, his dreams didn’t seem so distant and impossible.

For now, he had Papyrus. And he was where he always wanted to be.

 

* * *

 

The night had passed too quickly and soon it was morning. The plates of spaghetti lay cold and forgotten on top of the dresser and the energy was overbearing by now, threatening to crack the very fabric of their existences.

It was happening.

The human was here.

Opening his eyes slowly, Sans was met with the sight of Papyrus’ sleeping face. It was probably still quite early but it was just the right time for today. He didn’t want Papyrus to be there when he eventually confronted the kid. By norm, he would, but he would try to avoid it.

That’s why he was going a little earlier.

He still took a little longer to get up. He wanted to imprint the memory of Papyrus’ peaceful looking face deeply in his mind. He will never forget it, this he swore. Even if he eventually took it with him to the grave.

“i love you.” He whispered, fingers tracing all of those bubbly, loveable features, settling at the edge of his eye socket and tracing it fondly with his thumb as he settled his palm on his cheek.

“so much.” His grin widened, leaning in to place a skeleton kiss on his forehead. Papyrus moved slightly, unconsciously leaning into his touch and his hand sought his out, patting the slight empty space that separated them. Sans’ hand found his and squeezed it tightly.

_‘i don’t want to let go either…’_

But he did, eventually. With another final glance and skeleton kiss, Sans did his best to not disturb the other as he got up, making his way to the dresser and grabbing his neatly folded hoodie jacket. He put it on and did a double take at the plates of spaghetti. After pondering for a bit, he still didn’t hesitate on taking his, bringing it with him to the kitchen to heat up.

Might as well have a good last meal too. He wanted to have the taste of Papyrus’ spaghetti imprinted on his mouth and conjured taste buds as well.

 _‘it’s not what i wanted.’_ He thought as he opened one of his ketchup packets and poured it over the now heated spaghetti , grabbing himself a fork and started to eat. He closed his eyes in bliss at the taste and chewed slowly, savoring it.

_‘but i can’t complain.’_

It had been a good run.

And he didn’t regret a single thing.

When he was finished with his meal, he took the time to actually wash the plate and fork, dry it and place them in their respective places, as a token of appreciation for everything that Papyrus put up with. He shuffled his way to the front door and as his hand settled on the knob, turning it, he looked back one last time.

This was his home. And he would make sure to at least leave it as if it were any other day.

Nodding to himself, his grin became carefree as he shut the door quietly behind him and the cold winds of Snowdin greeted his face. He breathed in deeply and whistled lowly a random little tune, stuffing his hands in his pockets and made his way to the path that led to the Ruins.

He wondered if anyone was still behind that large door that he liked to practice knock knock jokes on. He wondered if he could finally break his so called promise to that old lady too.

He was still holding on to his dreams.

 

* * *

 

He didn’t know how long he stood there in the shadows, hidden behind the tall trees of the vast Snowdin forest. From there, he had a good view of the great entrance door to the Ruins and to his side was a bush with a camera hidden within it. Work of Alphys, most likely. He was not sure if he wanted her to see this but this way she could alert everyone on time.

Maybe he could finally do something right this time.

With his hood over his head and covering most of his facial features in darkness, his pinprick white pupils glowed ominously.

And he waited.

He wasn’t prepared, by any means, for whatever fate awaited them all.

But he was ready for this moment.

A bird chirped from above him, perched on the tallest branch of the tree by his side and it signaled the opening of the heavy purple door. His whole body stiffened and he could feel his magic humming already, his stance seemingly relaxed but inside he was a whirlwind of tension, waiting for the signal to _act_.

From the door came the human child, as expected. Their appearance seemed pristine but he still wouldn’t get his hopes up. They seemed to be walking in a weird kind of way, as if weakened. He could see now a few scorch marks on their clothing and their knees were scraped and red.

Sans frowned and moved silently at their pace, keeping several steps behind. He saw them stop by a sturdy looking branch, looking down at it as if examining it before stepping over it carefully, almost in a hop. As they kept going forward, Sans kept following them, his fingers practically crackling with magic by now and his left eye would flicker from its normal white pupil to the glowing blue one, indecisive for now.

His grin widened as he walked and a loud snap from the effortless way he had broken the sturdy and heavy looking branch as he stepped on it was enough to have the human whirling back, looking around. Sans teleported to safety of the shadows once again. The human’s expression was unreadable as they resumed walking after making sure they weren’t being followed –or so they think- and as they finally reached the poorly gated bridge, work of his great brother, of course, Sans finally found the moment to act.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion as Sans approached the human from behind. The heavy crunch of his footsteps echoed in the eerily silent environment. The human stood motionless once his presence was clearly obvious and once again, their body language was unreadable. They seemed calm.

Too calm.

“h u m a n.”  The words reverberated almost darkly as they came from deep within his very being.

“don’t you know how to greet a new pal?”

His grin wavered, widening even further as he started to stretch his hand out. The usual prank device itched in his palm.

“turn around and shake my hand.”

The human started turning slowly and Sans finally had a good view of their face. They seemed to have scratches on their cheeks too, as if they had tripped and fallen a lot already and their face was a pure expression of neutral.

Absolutely unreadable.

They stretched their own hand anyway and soon enough met his in a handshake.

The sound of the fake fart noise echoed through the forest and a few birds flew from their perches in the trees.

Sans didn’t know what he had been expecting.

Well… he had been expecting anything.

And especially a knife to the throat.

But he certainly, at this time, never expected…

…for the human to suddenly burst into a jovial childlike laughter, their previous unreadable expression shifting quickly and almost effortlessly into one of pure mirth as they laughed and laughed and _laughed_.

The human…was laughing at his dumb joke?

Sans never felt like this before…he felt so…light.

He felt so…happy.

A choked laugh escaped him as well as his hood fell back with the motion, revealing his face fully and his grin felt genuine once more.

“heheh…the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.”

He has never felt so relieved for having someone laughing at one of his jokes.

He could keep hanging on to his dreams, it seems.

“it’s ALWAYS funny.” His eyes crinkled at the corners fondly, expression turning into one of usual playful mischief.

Let the adventure begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I might tinker a bit with it -3- )
> 
> I r-really hope you all liked it! *fidgets with hands nervously* (●´ω｀●)


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long, I'm so sorry. ;w; But I really feel like it was worth it and I really do hope you all think so too.
> 
> Without further ado...
> 
> Please enjoy the Epilogue ! <3

Sans had learned many things.

He learned that existing was what you made of it.

He learned that sometimes he couldn’t be in control anymore.

He learned that there was no use in forcing the strings of fate and as so, let himself be carried and woven into them.

He learned that there will always be things to change, matters to discuss, stuff to do.

He learned that nothing was perfect, that he couldn’t be perfect, and, for the moment, that was fine.

He learned that as denying himself what he wanted, he could also gift himself with the same just as much.

He learned that he could fall into a deep abyss, if he so wanted, and never get out to face the cruel and confusing thin barrier between reality and fantasy.

He learned that it was so incredibly easy to do so.

And for the most part, he had given in. Sans had learned that living in such a deep abyss could drag him into a state of morbid acceptance. A ‘shrug of his shoulders’ to all the things that awaited him beyond his bedroom door. He became a numb, neutral being, forever trapped in a mixture of boredom and self pity, all blended in with the deep pain of being denied for such a long time.

He learned that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to receive help and it’s okay to feel deserving of it. He learned that there was no such thing as a ‘lesser being’, that he wasn’t one and that he shouldn’t be denied the simple things in life.

He learned how to enjoy the cold breeze of Snowdin on his face as he got out of home, to listen closely to the sounds of morning –the chirping of the birds, the whistling of the wind, the crunch of the snow beneath his feet- to feel the soft fabric of the inner side of his pockets and the fluffy silkiness of his pink slippers, to taste the soft wetness of tomato sauce soaked spaghetti strings and all the love and dedication that they were made with.

He learned how to return a smile.

But most of all…

…he learned that he was not alone.

And yet for so many years he had convinced himself otherwise. Sometimes he would lay in his mattress, staring at the white ceiling above him. The ‘moonlight’ would shine on his face as he kept his arms crossed behind his head and the ceiling would slowly start to warp and change to a deep and endless darkness where he would count the nonexistent stars -bright silver dots that shined beautifully and drew lines in the very fabric of existence- and not ever finding a definite number.

 _will i ever not have to close my eyes to see them?_ His hand would stretch above him as if reaching out, closed eyes opening tiredly and the illusion was gone to present him with the same boring and painstakingly real white ceiling that he was accustomed to. For so long he had indulged in this silent pining, this suffocating desire for more in his life. He had wished every night for something different and every morning he would find something else taken away from him.

He had wished for the stars, for the sun, for the sea. He wished for new sensations and experiences and yet, despite it all being so different, he had wished for the presence of a gentle loving gaze and the brightest smile to ever exist in all of them.

Now as he laid there, he sighed, feeling prepared to open his eyes. As he did so, the swirling bright darkness of the Beyond lingered on his ceiling before it vanished all together.

And for the first time, Sans was happy to see that white boring ceiling.

He made a low humming noise as he felt movement at his side and stole a glance to see Papyrus still sleeping, his long arm wrapped around Sans’ middle and holding him close to his chest. Sans’ grin twitched, looking at the ceiling one last time before he snuggled into his love’s embrace, eyes falling closed gently. From outside he could hear the door of their shed opening for perhaps the third time now and he contained an amused snort, wondering just how many times the human and Papyrus would keep up this game of cat and mouse.

For now, he allowed himself not to think too much of it and with almost no effort at all, started to feel the welcoming pull of sleep.

_you’ve shown me the stars, papyrus._

* * *

 

 

The human would linger in Snowdin quite often. Although Sans hadn’t given up hope yet, he still kept track of the child’s footprints, watching their every move from the shadows. He hadn’t allowed himself to fully relax, he didn’t think he ever could. The tips of his fingers still itched with the ever flowing wisps of his magic, awoken and ready. His grin was laidback but his gaze was fiercely focused, especially when Papyrus interacted with them.

As of now, the human just seemed to be doing a good job in surprising Papyrus with harmless and ‘flattering’ flirtations. It bubbled up a chuckle from within him, seeing his love playing along, trying to spare the innocent –or was it?- heart of the human child by agreeing on a date while dabbing what appeared to be marinara sauce at the spot where the back of his ‘ears’ would have been.

He allowed for his gaze to soften, seeing them having fun. No matter how many times it had happened, once upon a timeline, he always felt a burst of happiness –one that he couldn’t remember feeling for a long while- at the intense excitement that would overcome Papyrus after seeing the human, boasting about how he was going to finally capture one and be a part of the Royal Guard. It made Sans want to protect him even more than usual. He wanted to keep him that happy and excited forever; he didn’t want for that bright light that he seemed to emanate wherever he went to ever dim.

As so, he always made sure to insist several times, almost plead to the human, for them to indulge his brother, to play along and let him be happy. He had waited, dreamt of this moment for so long after all and Sans wanted him to make the most of it. But most of all, he had warned them twice as often, in subtle but darker undertones –his voice would deepen and his gaze would become colder- to not even think about hurting him.

Because the prospect of something happening to Papyrus terrified him beyond anything. He couldn’t even imagine what life without him would be like but he knew he had plenty to remind him of such a reality, lodged deep within his lost and forever shattered memories, millions upon millions of small little fragments drifting like the stars that littered the cosmos.

He couldn’t let it happen.

Papyrus was brash and sometimes quite reckless but he wasn’t daft. He had sensed the slight hesitation in his bold speech and movements, hiding it all behind his boastful person when he faced the human for the first time. It had been a tense event, one that had Sans’ eye glowing at the ready, waiting for the moment to pounce should he have to. He _would_ intervene this time.

Maybe this was fate’s twisted way of springing him into action? He had been so convinced that doing nothing had been for the best. He had been so numb to it all, so ready to give it all up for the minuscule chance of it stopping.

But he really couldn’t afford not to care anymore.

As he saw Papyrus sputter flustered apologies at the human for not returning their ‘passionate’ feelings for him, he sighed gently through his nose. He had finally found something worth _looking_ for, worth _fighting_ for, worth _living_ for.

He had found a future, one that he could actually see as clear as the bright blue shimmering waters of Waterfall, reflected upon his mind and filling him with hope, making him _move_. In Papyrus, someone he had always had by his side, he had found a reason to stand up to inevitable fates, no matter how useless it would be in the end.

He would still do it, if only it meant he could have a _chance_ to live that future, whether in reality…or in the everlasting dreams of the afterlife.

He went to his room then when the human bid their farewell to Papyrus, after he gave them his cell phone number and putting emphasis on the platonic nature of their relationship. Sans let out a snort then in the privacy of his room, knowing that Papyrus’ thoughts must be travelling at a thousand miles per minute right now.

Fairly so, once he heard their front door shut closed gently, he heard Papyrus’ immediate pacing around his room right next to his, mumbling incoherently and a few nervous but still excited ‘nyeh’s ‘ escaping him now and then. Sans entertained himself by taking a nearby rag and polishing his trombone, laying it in his lap as he sat cross legged on his mattress and humming a low tune, closing his eyes as his grin widened when he heard Papyrus’ pacing stop suddenly to the resume in the form of determined footsteps now towards his room.

Three soft knocks sounded against the wooden door and Sans opened his eyes, his voice low and adopting the almost always ever present soothing tone it had whenever he was around Papyrus.

“yea, paps?”

The door creaked open and Papyrus peeked in rather meekly. Sans turned his head to him and his grin twitched at the dusty orange glow that still permeated his cheeks as he shuffled his way inside. Gaze half lidded, he patted the spot next to him on the mattress. Papyrus took the invitation rather eagerly, his face lighting up as he plopped down on his seat and Sans promptly set his trombone aside to then inch closer to the other, their sides brushing. Papyrus took that as his cue to swing his arm around Sans’ shoulders, pulling him flush against him and leaned down to give him a skeleton kiss on his cheek. Sans hummed, his still ever present worries fading a little as he relished in the attentions of his love and returned the kiss with one of his own.

“having fun?” He asked and raised a brow when Papyrus’ blush seemed to darken.

“THE HUMAN IS…VERY PECULIAR.” Papyrus answered, his bright smile wavering nervously. Sans held the urge to chuckle once more and hummed, moving his head to face his one window, where the bright light of day was gradually fading into nighttime.

“really? how so?”

Papyrus started fidgeting then, his eyes shifting from him to the floor quite often and Sans started to wonder just what had him so affected.

…Had the human actually done or said something to Papyrus after all?

Before his growing paranoid anger started to sizzle within him, Papyrus finally answered, his voice cracking at the beginning and making him clear his throat.

“I- AHEM!- I FOUND MYSELF SURPRISED BY SOME OF THE THINGS THEY WOULD SAY!! I KNOW HUMANS ARE DIFFERENT FROM US BUT TO ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH ONE…!!!”

There was a slight reminiscence in Papyrus’ gaze then, as if he was trying to remember something that he wasn’t even sure he could remember before he shook it off and faced Sans, scratching his chin with a finger.

“AND THEY’RE SO FORWARD TOO!!”

Sans’ eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement, knowing now what still had his brother so flustered and put out. Had he never really been flirted with before by anyone else? When it came to them, Papyrus always seemed so sure of his intentions towards him, so willing to take control of the flirting aspect of their relationship when it needed be. He had even been the one who started ‘courting’ him and take the first steps, after all!

“You know, even when they were telling me all those nice words about my spaghetti and fashion choices, no matter how good it felt to be hearing that from somebody else…all I could think about was you and how badly I wanted to go back to you and hear those same words _from you_.”

Sans felt his soul skip a pulse, his cheeks feeling colder as his grin wavered, feeling that all too familiar giddiness that would overcome him whenever Papyrus said something so incredibly sweet and unintentionally romantic like that.

 _‘by the stars…’_ Sans thought, looking down at his intertwined thumbs before he wordlessly leaned into Papyrus’ shoulder. He felt the other’s breath hitch then, his wide chest stuttering before the arm around his shoulders tugged him even closer and his hand squeezed his arm lovingly, sighing through his nose then and the soft sounds seemed to echo in the peacefully silent room.

A brief moment of understanding silence stretched between them before Sans’ hushed deep voice murmured fondly.

“your spaghetti is the best spaghetti i’ve ever had. and you’re the most fashionable skeleton i’ve ever met, hands down. “

Never mind the fact that Papyrus’ spaghetti was the only spaghetti he ever had or that he was the only other skeleton around. Sans knew -he had never been so certain- that deep down, even if there were thousands of other spaghetti making fashionable skeletons around, he would still not want anybody else.

And Papyrus seemed to understand that; the deep and dedicated love that laced his every words to him and simply closed his eyes with a softened smile, placing a loving skeleton kiss to the top of Sans’ skull.

“Thank you, Sans.”

Sans closed his eyes as well and their souls glowed in sync, the pulses and beats dancing together in their ever flowing harmony to the rhythm of every passing loving thought. He raised his hand to meet Papyrus’ at his arm and their fingers intertwined, his stubbier ones fitting with the longer and slimmer ones like puzzle pieces.

_‘i’ll build that future for us, paps. you and me, like it has always been.’_

_‘i promise.’_

And he wasn’t the kind of guy to make promises.

But loving him was just so easy.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"have you ever heard of a talking flower? ... so you know all about it. the echo flower. ... what about it? well, papyrus told me something interesting the other day. sometimes, when no one else is around, a flower appears and whispers things to him. flattery... advice... encouragement... ...predictions. weird, huh?" 

The human child simply looked at him with an impassive, blank expression and shook their head.

Sans sighed gently through his nose and took another bite of his portion of ketchup soaked fries.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_"FLOWERS...? DO ANY OF THEM TALK!? SAY HI FOR ME!!! FLOWERS ARE OUR **BEST FRIENDS**!!"_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 " _HUH? MY BROTHER? OF COURSE HE HAS A TELESCOPE. SANS LOVES OUTER SPACE SCI-FI STUFF._ "

The child kept their impassive neutral expression, holding the cell phone to their ear and looking down at their reflection in the crystal blue water, their brows scrunching almost unnoticeably as they finally noticed the bright pink circle around one of their eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"haven't i done a great job protecting you? i mean, look at yourself. you haven't died a single time. hey, what's that look supposed to mean? am i wrong...?"

Sans tried to ignore the somewhat dirty look the child was giving him.

 

* * *

 

He couldn’t quite describe the feeling of having his soul bared for all to see. The thorny vines of that Flowey flower were inches away from strangling his 1 HP from him and his vision was flickering, the tendrils of darkness permeating the edges and greeting him one more time.

One last time.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling this helpless. Everything had seemed to be going so perfectly well…they had been so close…

How could it have all gone down for the worse in a matter of seconds? All it took was for them to look away, to take a deep breath in relief, to taste pure happiness and the hints of freedom for one fleeting moment.

And now they were caught and imprisoned within their own selves, doomed to wander their inner sides and expose themselves in the most revealing way. His voice was shaking, he was letting his façade go, he was crumbling. And Papyrus was right by his side, his face covered by stuttering wisps of matter that threatened to crumble his very being, his words and voice sounding different and _glitched_  as he repeated over and over again that he must capture a human and join the Royal Guard.

**_‘jUSt gIVe uP. i dId.’_ **

 No! No, he didn’t!

He felt so tired…it was as if everything was crashing back down on him. The stress of worrying over timelines; realities that never were, conversations he never had…

Living.

Watching.

Mourning.

Fighting.

Dying.

Over and over again.

A choked scream crawled its way up his throat and left his mouth in an agonized distorted and twisted sound, shifting quickly and involuntarily in pitch and he felt like he was _drowning_ , like was finally losing it.

 _‘this is it…?’_ He thought and the hope he had been so zealously clinging to seemed to slip from his fingers. From beside him, Papyrus stood still as a statue, still repeating himself like some sort of robot. Sans wanted to reach out, wanted to tell him to _fight_ …!

…But he was so tired…

He felt his lids closing slowly, his vision becoming hazier and hazier by the minute.

“i’m just so tired…” He managed to mutter and the words, though still incredibly shaky, managed to come out intact.

And then, just as he thought the darkness would consume him for good, a bright light blinded him and a soft childlike voice replied.

“Are you feeling _bone tired_ , Sans?”

And with an equally bright and twice as hopeful smile, the child extended their hand to him.

A distorted chuckle escaped him and the tendrils drew back from his vision. The vines holding his arms snapped and he took that hand in a firm grip.

He could still taste freedom after all.

“heh…i’m rootin’ for ya, kid.”

And he really was, for once.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

***But it refused.**

 

 

* * *

 

“Isn’t it beautiful, everyone?”

He could feel the warmth on his bones. The sunset cast a golden light upon them all and the sky was colored in orange and pink tones, the clouds spreading in abstract patterns and Papyrus squinted his eyes, pointing at it.

“HEY SANS, WHAT’S THAT GIANT BALL?”

Sans’ eyes crinkled at the corners, not once taking his eyes away from the fantastic view and he breathed in deeply the fresh air. He was _seeing_ it. He was _feeling_ it. He was _scenting_ it.

Life.

These weren’t mere book pictures anymore, as realistic and fascinating as they were.

“we call that ‘the sun’, my friend.” He answered, and there was a deep and very much awaited fulfillment in his voice. It didn’t waver anymore, he was in full control once again. But he could feel his soul practically bursting with emotion.

They were free.

He was free.

This was the last reset.

And he was so happy. So incredibly happy.

He was in the company of all their friends and soon every monster would come out to join them. He had Papyrus by his side.

And he was seeing the sun.

Papyrus gasped beside him, his expression becoming excited.

“THAT’S THE SUN?? WOWIE!” He exclaimed, looking up at the sky with newfound appreciation. “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M FINALLY MEETING THE SUN!!!!”

_‘me neither, paps.’_

He had given it up for such a long time…

And yet, even though he had given up, he was still here with the ones who hadn’t.

And he was with the one who hadn’t given up on him ever.

It goes to show that no matter what, you can’t just predict what will happen, no matter how little you do to change anything. He had doubted Papyrus but Papyrus had made it his personal mission to give him his own life back, to help him through it.

He felt grateful.

And he felt hopeful. For the first time in his life, he was seeing _so much_ ahead of him.

As they stared at the magnificent view before them, noticing the ocean that stretched before them beyond the human city, Sans learned yet another thing:

It is not the destination that truly makes the difference…

…but the journey.

 

 

 

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sobbing mess right now because I can't believe it's truly over. I finished 'Breaking Point'. I can't even describe the feeling of putting that little 'Complete' in the story description. *sobs in a mixture of happiness and nervousness*
> 
> I just want to thank each and every single one of you who stuck with this story and supported me to no end. Without you all it wouldn't have been possible.
> 
> This fic was indeed one of the best journeys I ever had. I met wonderful and incredibly talented people and I want to give a special thanks to all the artists that dedicated fanart to this story and participated so beautifully in it. S-Seriously, sometimes I still c-can't believe it. (●´ω｀●)
> 
> There are so many things that I want to say but nothing quite describes just how happy and fulfilled I'm feeling right now.
> 
> So thank you.
> 
> Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3
> 
> (Also, I promised a Bonus naughty bit chapter which I will be doing and I have an Alternate Ending planned so stay tuned if you want! But the overall story is really over. ;w; )
> 
> And if anyone is interested, here is the entire[ playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk3m-9hvGhRlfVn3fsLdtQr0uWT7FOfog) of music that inspired me and I listened to while writing 'Breaking Point' (and a few personal favorites as well! ). I'll also be adding to it as I keep working on future fics!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this is crappy?? It's my first time writing these characters so, I don't know. Should I continue this? Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Hope you have a good day! C:


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